Women should chase men

Spiritual_Run9039 · 2026-01-21T14:37:05+00:00

Women should

But do women would?

Lost_Reaction_5489 · 2026-01-21T22:06:05+00:00

I'd rather just abstain. The juice is barely worth the squeeze as is.

growframe · 2026-01-21T14:45:35+00:00

Women don't want to chase so whether or not they should is irrelevant.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2026-01-21T14:37:48+00:00

Women who want to chase men do.
Those that don’t want to, whether it’s because the don’t need to or because they feel they shouldn’t due to “society/anxiety/socal norms” etc- won’t.

pie-mart · 2026-01-21T22:05:05+00:00

Idk, I don't care enough to seek men on my own. Cuz if im in a relationship or not idc. So, I met my bf cuz he pursued me. I would not have been in a relationship otherwise cuz im not seeking it. So, if someone wants to get with me they approach me. Not cuz of the fact I think its a man should/women should. But because i don't care enough to be the active pursuer. I would die alone before I pursued a man into a relationship

Just isn't that important to me

CrystalExarch1979 · 2026-01-21T17:02:59+00:00

They should, we're in the 21st century.

Foreign_Look8668 · 2026-01-21T18:00:40+00:00

Lol, I don't think anyone should do anything except take ownership of their own love life instead of waiting for someone else to "make the move" or whatever. As much as I'd love for women to approach men (particularly me) more, I'd be overjoyed for women to just not make approaching them weird as hell.

Not enough people want to own up just how unapproachable they make themselves be yet push the "men should approach" mantra. They don't even think how their behaviour could translate to how other conduct themselves which may seem like it's not their problem but if enough people in a group act a certain, it does leave an impression on the group as a whole.

I remember reading a post of a lady who, very aggressively rejecting a man who was approach her friend group. The guy wasnt even approaching her. She just took it upon herself to be hostile and tell him off. Version of that happens.

They been women who give guys who approach them the silent treatment. He didn't do anything yet and she pretended like he didn't exist. I've seen that live. I've been there myself. It's not fun.

Looking at all of that, you wouldn't want to approach women anymore after awhile. People try to use safety as a reason for this kind of behaviour but it's honestly an excuse at some point.

Too many people are being nasty in dating, particularly in the parts where men are expected to do. Idk, maybe they think it's okay to be crappy to guys cause it's not the guys they like that they are treating that way. Maybe it's written off as micro feminism to make men interacting with them to be the most intense mental game of the floor is lava.

You see men do 4D chess moves in their head to figure how to manoeuvre all these spiked wallls, petty hurdles and weird mood people got up.

Oh and men must always know when the right time is. The right time changes based, not on the situation but how the person feels inside.

Because someone's wrong time is another's perfect time and someone's right time can easily turn into the wrong time in an instant. But because you're a dude, you just gotta figure it out. Cause if you really wanted to, you would.

theminxisback · 2026-01-21T20:39:03+00:00

I wish women pursued and men stopped. That would be a godsend

Lemon_gecko · 2026-01-21T14:33:22+00:00

I have no idea what's the argument for chasing? like that will i get?

And anyway sure, i can, the problem is i want to chase a man who i would like, and for that he already has to attract me in some way. It's not as simple as looks.

beautiful_falcon776 · 2026-01-21T14:48:46+00:00

You sound like you don't respect men. Imagine this being written by a man would have gotten severe back lash. It sounds wrong on many levels that you might be misogynistic as well. Also damn paragraphs would be nice

DriverInitial8305 · 2026-01-21T15:53:53+00:00

Nothing should happen or shouldn’t happen. The dating market should operate as a free market where people choose what’s best for them

SeemedGood · 2026-01-21T16:11:35+00:00

They do, quite frequently and often very aggressively.

Unhappy-Yak-8648 · 2026-01-21T18:23:21+00:00

They already do. Notice their behaviour around the men they want.

mashedturnip · 2026-01-21T14:51:40+00:00

Nope, that results in being used for sex and less effort in relationships

Source: personal experience

esp_1123 · 2026-01-21T14:37:49+00:00

This is definitely a post

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2026-01-21T21:49:58+00:00

“Women should chase men” sounds simple until you realise it solves nothing. Bad intentions don’t vanish because a woman initiated. All you’re changing is the order of events, not the person you’re dealing with.

There’s a study where men and women approached strangers and asked them to come over or have sex. About 75% of men said yes. Almost no women did. So no, women don’t get less screwed over by chasing. Chasing increases access, not quality.

And you’re skipping the safety part. For women, attraction includes “Am I safe with him?” not just “Do I want him?” Telling women to “just chase” ignores the part where safety come first.

Shadowcat1606 · 2026-01-21T17:55:50+00:00

Sure they should. But they won't. At least the majority. And that's that and there's nothing any man can do about it.

Except stop chasing and simping. That's the one thing that might change things a bit in the long run. But that won't happen either.

AtomicMonkeyTheFirst · 2026-01-21T19:56:18+00:00

Some women do.

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-01-21T19:58:31+00:00

Women who want to chase men will chase men. Women who don’t want to, don’t have to, because men are so unhappy being single that they will pursue women anyway.

Starcraft_III · 2026-01-21T20:26:29+00:00

No they shouldn’t because a lot of men would say yes to a woman they’re not interested in long term who displays obvious interest in them just for the easy lay, while most women won’t, only going for the men that would choose you to approach among others displays higher interest in you and so you’re more likely to get someone who will stick long term. If your position is “just men with pussies” and “just women with dicks” horomones and evolutionary development and all that shit doesn’t matter who knows what planet you live on.

Clear-Search-8373 · 2026-01-21T21:32:23+00:00

They already do chase men if they care about them and/or find them attractive. Sorry.

Large_Bed_4251 · 2026-01-21T21:42:52+00:00

This would require women to do something that would give men power over them, so dream on.

FaultySchematic · 2026-01-22T08:55:02+00:00

Pursuit is a funny thing. It's not so much that anyone needs to pursue exactly... it's more like.... fucking is an inevitability. I do not pursue, I just don't try to seem like I am totally asexual toward her or whatever. Be Yourself really means, don't try to make something happen. Just notice what's happening. I didn't get this for the first 36 years of my life or so. Once it clicked I started fucking people within 30 minutes of meeting them. I can roll into a sex party and stuff just happens. I can see a woman across a bar, notice she is looking at me, make it clear I notice and like it, and we make out and go bang. There is no pursuit, just letting things happen. If I wanted a relationship I could have it. But like.. I have fucked 17 people who I do not know the names of. I've been a fat guy (albeit a 6'0 guy) for most of my life and I'm still overweight, but.... fuck it. It doesn't have to be so fucking complicated.

/drunk

Important-Year8047 · 2026-01-21T15:32:54+00:00

Almost all of my ex's were the ones who asked me out. Which is nice and makes my life easier. So I agree. Keep it up ladies

oppositegeneva · 2026-01-21T15:55:24+00:00

If you, as a woman, are the one getting pursued by a man, chances are he's a fake bitch anyway

Um, why is he most likely a fake bitch because he pursued me? lol

Men and women should pursue each other.

Disastrous_Agent9307 · 2026-01-21T15:16:13+00:00

I didn't chase men and I didn't entertain fuck fuckbois, although I entertained a few hoping they'd mature. I'm doing fine, married happily.

My recommendation to women: don't fuck men. Put it out of your brain to fuck a man for anywhere from 3-6 months of knowing him, maybe longer. Don't ask yourself if you want sex or want to fuck him, that's a stupid question as it's likely the answer will always be yes. Ask yourself if you can see a future in which you regret fucking him and wish you'd never fucked him and in fact feel gross and degraded from fucking him (not because of slut shaming, but because he wasn't worthy of that and you made a hasty choice). Until you know you will always be able to justify to yourself fucking him because you know who you were at that time, why you did it, and that he was someone worth that, it's not worth the squeeze. Go home, have a flick, watch some Bridgerton. You'll be fine.

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SophieMorzel · 2026-01-21T16:49:32+00:00

Hey, so basically you're talking about subverting behavior, I get it, and I do it. In fact, when I'm strapping them on, I call them whores, sluts, and tramps, and the guys love it.

Yet that doesn't stop them from wanting to control me or not respecting my choices, so after a while either they can't take it anymore or it's me, lol.

PrecisionHat · 2026-01-21T19:38:50+00:00

It's a bit like telling a person making passive income to go out and get a job as a Walmart greeter. Why would they if they don't have to?

As much as I dislike some of the general ways women act, especially progressive women, it's mostly on men that they don't have to do anything but exist and still they'll get fawned over. If we ever reach a point in our society where even hot only fans models can't make a living, we will know things are turning around. I wouldn't hold your breath, though.

ThatsWhatSheVersed · 2026-01-21T21:57:30+00:00

As a guy you’re like a telemarketer promoting this exciting new gf position, you gotta generate hype and then flip the script.

Visual_Jellyfish8074 · 2026-01-22T00:53:34+00:00

They don’t need to.

AlarmingArm9919 · 2026-01-22T02:23:45+00:00

the only way that works is if men become happy enough single to play hard to get

Mission-Pie-7192 · 2026-01-25T06:29:44+00:00

I feel like women chase men when he seems better than being single. They have to be chased when they're not convinced yet.

Previous-Nobody903 · 2026-01-21T21:19:17+00:00

I have done this. It backfires. Men’s egos can’t sit long with the position of being the one approached. They’ll ask themselves why it was so easy, they will be restless from not having “conquered” you, they’ll feel like they were “controlled” and will rebel against a perfectly happy relationship, they’ll take your pursuit as a sign of their greatness and will believe women like you will flock to them (instead of it being a sign of the woman’s uniqueness for stepping outside the norms), they’ll take you for granted, they’ll wonder why no one else “wanted” you and why you were “left” with having to pursue (again instead of seeing it as a sign of her individual personality and preferences), they’ll think you’re easily replaceable, they’ll fear you replacing them because they know how easy it is for a woman to get a man if she pursues, they’ll think you’re easy because you didn’t need convincing, they’ll wonder if they were sought out for selfish reasons and will be paranoid you’re using them for something, the list goes on. There’s really no winning.

petrichorandcamphor · 2026-01-21T16:06:58+00:00

Just popping in to say many women do chase men. And because we don’t talk about it openly as a culture, they often do weird shit and cross lines like invading personal space and then seem confused when they’re non-verbally rejected.

Young women need an education in how to respectfully approach men.

xxxPaid_by_Stevexxx · 2026-01-22T00:55:22+00:00

Women already do actually. They give the men signs atleast. The problem today is we are just very into our phones etc so after school etc it is tough.

mashedturnip · 2026-01-21T16:21:53+00:00

Way more men like sex than women, let alone an individual woman. That is why they have to prove they like an individual woman through effort

leefjk · 2026-01-22T06:20:59+00:00

I don't think you have a pussy.

LillthOfBabylon · 2026-01-21T15:15:15+00:00

Guys here admit they only want women to be pick me when they already like the girl. So pursuing men is a waste of time because they would pursue women they like.

Routine-Present-3676 · 2026-01-21T22:11:54+00:00

Women don't chase you. Most women are willing to chase men they're interested in. Are we just avoiding the logical conclusion to spare your feelings here or what, OP?

y2kjanelle · 2026-01-22T00:35:11+00:00

I don’t know what any of this means but it sounds stupid.

Men invest in women with time, money, effort, gifts, and commitment. Women shouldn’t chase a man because that’s not something men value. On the surface level of course they will appreciate attention and getting chased, but men are naturally more inclined towards competition and chasing women. They like to work to achieve things, including your love. It’s somethin they have built into masculinity and until they can give that up, there’s no point in chasing.

And this doesn’t at all mean that you shouldn’t do nice things for men. Of course not. You should always treat a man well that you’re seeing. It just means that you should fix your expectations to judge men based off the effort they put.

Women are generally the same too, just a little bit different. Women do like to be pursued, but men should also vet for effort and investment.

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2026-01-22T08:28:25+00:00

It's fascinating how many people remove women's agency in dating all while complaining that they don't have any agency.

AccomplishedDot7092 · 2026-01-22T16:13:13+00:00

Women do chase men. Men just have to make the first move and get the ball rolling.

Jetpine9 · 2026-01-21T16:03:24+00:00

Women here think if you ever say "Hello" to a man it's the exact same as if you walked up to him and pulled down your panties and bent over.

Cool_Ranch_2511 · 2026-01-21T14:50:35+00:00

No, this would traumatize them.

Title	Women should chase men
Author	Emergency-Sell-6713
Upvotes	25
Comments	227
Date	January 21, 2026 2:31 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1qizdy8/women_should_chase_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-should-chase-men.1571667 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571667

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