Year 2020: are relationships still relevant?

wazzoz99 · 2019-11-09T03:41:38+00:00

Some nice things as other people have mentioned and that I can get from my gay and non gay friends who aren’t attracted to me(I hope). Other than that, hypocritical pseudo traditional expectations, anxietyabout my own masculinity, being forced to not behave like myself to be the man a lot of these women desire . I’m not MGTOW but Im also not going to pretend that dating and partnering with women is entirely enjoyable, especially when many men can appreciate different expressions of femininity whilst the reverse is much rarer. I’ve been relationships where I felt so alienated because I had to be the person I was not to be considered attractive, and they shamed me when I didn’t do traditionally masculine things or think constantly about becoming a successful man. These women were not even traditionally feminine , and I liked them for that. And I didn’t held them hostage to gender norms like they did to me, which eventually made angry and I left those relationships feeling pretty insecure about my masculinity. My experience in relationships were counter to the egalitarian upbringing that I had. I think then I realise how much society lies to men about how flexible their gender roles were. I thought I was gay, and eventually I had a weekend full of experimentation, which made me realise I was not :/.

Feeling overburdened and repressed isn’t something I want to experience during a relationship, and that is unfortunately my experience in 3 of the relationships I’ve had in my 23 years on this earth. I guess egalitarian minded sensitive non dominant guy like me were meant to never succeed in this environment. And I’m not attractive or talented enough to be the artsy sensitive guy a few women seem to go for at uni either. Im now comfortable being myself, and I don’t want to become a worker drone all my life to be considered a “marriageable” man. But now, I get zero attention from women. What’s worse is that I’m actually a mixed race exotic looking black guy so the expectation of masculinity is harder on me, since women just expect me to behave like some macho Brazilian dude since it must be in my genes.

TLDR-Relationships are enjoyable as long as you’re ok with the current gender contract whereby you must behave and act in a certain way as a man, and fulfil most of not all of the expectations of that role, whilst any deviation will be met with shame, emasculation and alienation, unless you have a valuable trait which isn’t found in the average joe and which can compensate for your lack of pseudo trad masculinity. On the other hand, you must expect women to have a wider gamut of socially acceptable behaviour.

cconroy1 · 2019-11-09T01:25:54+00:00

The mistake here is to assume relationships are inherently transactional or that the roles you present are the only things a woman adds to a relationship. I cant help but ask the same question in reverse. If a woman is secure, why would she ever want to date a man?

That said, nothing. You are under no inherent obligation to enter into a relationship if you dont want to or feel you need to. Just do your thing. But sometimes companionship and community is a nice benefit that adds something to a relationship you cant get alone. If you dont want that, then thats chill.

I worry more about the way the meme presents the question as opposed to the question itself. Like, if you just want sex, go have sex lol

_Neon_Shadow_ · 2019-11-08T19:51:44+00:00

What can a woman add to a guy's life?

Sex, companionship, and fun. Even with everything together, I'd still like someone to do things with.

katymarx · 2019-11-08T21:50:58+00:00

Sounds like my life. What can a man add to a woman's life?

asperges_me_domine · 2019-11-09T04:35:36+00:00

The same thing that a man could add to hers- companionship, a battle buddy for when shit gets overwhelming, stability, another set of hands around the place, a second income. Of course if a guy is happy without those things, then good for him, he's not obligated to find a relationship if he doesn't want to.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-11-08T20:11:39+00:00

no they arent to you. dont have one. no one cares. why does this have to be some group or societal issue. if you think LTR or marriage with women has no value dont do it.

"women" dont add anything to your life, you may meet "A" woman who you decide does. if you dont then you dont. who cares

what is the point of these stupid sell me on women posts. do whatever you want

BigBlackOnyx · 2019-11-09T11:33:08+00:00

A woman can take half his assets by divorcing him without the need for a reason. A man should always be happy when he's single. Counting on relationships alone to be happy is a dangerous road

SunflowerBurst · 2019-11-08T21:20:02+00:00

You people who don’t understand the most basic idea that humans are social and must give and receive love and affection to be fulfilled are so weird. Even literal hermits in the desert were giving love to God and the Universe. I know people younger than y’all who’ve literally got Asperger’s who understand this concept better then you all.

That said, no ones going to force you to get married. You clearly have an extremely utilitarian view on life and that’ll take you where it takes you.

Texastentialism · 2019-11-08T20:05:32+00:00

Companionship, someone to share a life and home with, children.

If you don't want any of those things then they don't offer you anything, which isn't a failing of women, it's just you not valuing the things that you get out of a monogamous relationship with one. Which is okay. I could say "What does a pet bird have to offer me if I prefer cats and don't like birds?" Nothing, obviously, but that doesn't mean a pet bird might not offer a great deal to someone who is interested in having one.

welcometothejl · 2019-11-08T20:16:37+00:00

Nothing. The only issue I have is all of the energy I expend hooking up. Anymore it's not worth it, women my age are gross.

King_Loser27 · 2019-11-09T05:56:44+00:00

I don't understand the comments here. Women here say that a guy needs to be comfortable on his own, and learn how to function without a relationship so he doesn't come off as desperate and alone. So, when they accomplish that, and learn how to live on their own terms without needing someone, you bitch that they don't see the value of women/relationships.

PennnyLame · 2019-11-08T21:39:11+00:00

Sounds like a strong, independent man who don’t need no woman. Hope he likes cats!

UTC24 · 2019-11-09T04:01:27+00:00

Depends. An average woman in real life? Not much. A unicorn? She could give you the best life could offer. An average woman on PPD? You're luck if she doesn't ruin your life. Lol

Keep this in mind: the only thing a woman can hold against a man is sex. She's weak in both body and mind. Sex is the only power she has over you. Imagine yourself in a woman's position: would you be willing to give up that only power you have? I think not. It's the reason why sexual autonomy is such a big issue. It has more to do with power struggle between sexes than anything else women make you believe.

You see the vile responses from women each time such topic comes up? You're questioning the only power they have against you. They're not going to have it.

Aaren_Augustine · 2019-11-08T19:55:00+00:00

Hahaha, I had this conversation with my wife a while back. Once I was getting decent at all the things she wanted me to do around the house she got upset. Because she felt useless.

Like Patrice O'neal used to say "I'll take the sex...if that's all you have to offer".

__queenofsaigon_ · 2019-11-09T05:35:35+00:00

THE REAL QUESTION IS: WHAT CAN A MAN ADD TO A WOMENS LIFE?? I have low sex drive so I dont even need sex from a man, and I have a dildo if need be. I make my own money and women are more affectionate towards eachother in friendships so I get my affection there.

_Tumbleweed- · 2019-11-08T19:56:24+00:00

Stereotypically feminine characteristics such as nuturance, gentleness, kindness, sensitivity, sweetness, empathy, tenderness, helpfulness, understanding. I could go on but what's the point.

If you don't see the value in women, then you don't deserve one so please STAY THE FUCK AWAY.

rhyth7 · 2019-11-09T20:43:52+00:00

The guy in the op is incredibly rare, if he wanted a relationship then it certainly wouldn't be from feeling like his life is empty and is probably the person in the best position to handle and achieve a good fullfilling relationship. Everybody wants a self-fulfilled partner.

Unfortunately most guys and most women aren't anywhere close to where the guy described is and because they are lacking in certain areas they're not able to be good partners.

wtknight · 2019-11-08T21:19:24+00:00

How many men is this? Even high-value men like this get older and want something with permanence, including a family with offspring who will serve as heirs for his wealth and knowledge. Many men also eventually meet a woman who they like enough that they are willing to commit to them in some way for a long period of time.

HarassMyAnger · 2019-11-08T19:56:46+00:00

Those are the types of men that can afford to be choosy with women. So most women couldnt offer much, but a top of the line woman would actually take time to ensure his happiness.

pngmafia97 · 2019-11-08T21:13:20+00:00

Companionship, if he wants that. If he doesn’t, then I agree, don’t be in a relationship.

Even as a young woman I’m not yet sure that I want kids or long term companionship with the same person, so monogamous relationships aren’t all that appealing at the moment.

ontherailstoday · 2019-11-08T21:19:32+00:00

>What can a woman add to a guy's life?

That's pretty much down to him to decide upon, not everyone else. The world is (except maybe if he's got nagging parents who are pushing for grandkids) just fine with him going on as he has been. The word is also fine with him forming a life partnership of some kind. Is all cool nothing wrong there.

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largepaycheckaddict · 2019-11-08T22:17:53+00:00

Children, a family, companionship, love and support.

flamingoinghome · 2019-11-08T21:55:31+00:00

Questions: have you ever felt the emotion known as "loneliness"? Relatedly, have you experienced what is known as a "crush"?

Orange_Paisley · 2019-11-08T22:00:32+00:00

Companionship, affection, a family, a team mate in life. Someone to celebrate with in good times and someone to share the load in bad times. If you don't want those things, don't have a relationship. Nobody is forcing you. That said, my dad and his roommate are two elderly confirmed bachelors. They're miserable, lonely, grouchy and probably haven't had sex or even a hug from a woman in decades. If that sounds like what you want to be when you're 60, enjoy!

Ialreadywon94 · 2019-11-09T02:44:37+00:00

Not for me at least, I live in a very expensive state, am a minority and hence forth am not entitled like many under achieving white men in America are from birth, average looking and though I am educated I MUST further better my self, my fiances, assets and position in society to be in a position I want to be concerning the current atmosphere and my natural place. Seeking skills in computer programming is essential to reaching the salary I need to compete in a country like ours but I will not stop in Gods name. Back up plans in fire fighting, from volunteer to professional and attending to my "auxiliary" needs such as healthy body, mind and hobbies of substance are my priority.

IT MAY take years but I will not settle for a life of mediocrity. If fighting in a war was an option I would but instead I must fight a war with my self through self inhibition, unconquerable will power and an aversion most men and all women can never overcome to due to their carnal nature and biology. Call me a maverick but I will not conform and I can have my way to the greatest extent God see's fit that'll assure the success and stability of my family and future generations. It's not about the patriarchy, women or heaven forbid rights - it's about MY family.

NeedingAdvice86 · 2019-11-09T04:35:28+00:00

Don't take the autistics on Reddit as normal.

90% of the world is still running the same script as they have for the last 50 years...this place is a hive of fucked up, barely sociable tweekers....

LeJacquelope · 2019-11-10T07:06:59+00:00

This thread fulfills POE's law.

goatismycopilot · 2019-11-09T02:43:50+00:00

The only two things I would want if I got into a relationship again would be companionship and somebody to fix things around the house.

Reisiluu · 2019-11-09T08:43:12+00:00

wants to be childfree

"What meaningful things can you offer to a man who doesn't want anything meaningful from other people."

What a dumb question. And yes, relationships will be relevant because only a minority sees no value in family.

DaphneDK42 · 2019-11-09T14:56:24+00:00

Love obviously. And somebody to build up shared memories with.

_DontBanMeBro · 2019-11-09T17:56:12+00:00

I mean, a relationship has never been about materials or services for me. It's about the companionship, not even just sex. It's about having someone be your partner in life emotionally

muhboyAbdul · 2019-11-10T19:27:51+00:00

Relationships are beta, procreations are alpha. If a man fails to pass on his genetic legacy through his children,he is a evolutionary dead end.Doesnt matter if he is Chad or billybetabuxx

Mrapocalisse · 2019-11-08T20:06:22+00:00

Well,maybe, if a man like that had a relationship with a woman who is just like him they could simply double the quantity of joy in their life.

ya know,go in many crazy places together,buy shit together enjoy many different hobbies together,etc.

What kind of social autist made this meme?

Pastelitomaracucho · 2019-11-09T08:00:21+00:00

What can a woman add to a guy's life?

Love, friendship, intimacy, a shoulder to rest on at the end of a long day, a travel partner, a counsellor and sparring partner, an advisor, a coop videogame friend.

Sounds cheesy, but I'm that man and I'm describing my girlfriend

geyejoe7 · 2019-11-09T08:09:06+00:00

Think of her being a support, like in videogames.

Sure, you as the main character in your life might be amaizing, but a woman just compliments that and improves you.

It gives you a better social status if you are a great husband and father.

Some men, like me, genuinely don't care about sex, as much as having that special someone I can rely on.

It's nice to have friends, and it's nice to have sex, but feeling that security of someone truly loving you, in a romantic way, fills some holes in my heart. I don't know if that's how it is for other men, but that's how I feel about it.

So yea, I'd say relationships are, and will stay relevant, as long as humans operate the same way in the brain.

Title	Year 2020: are relationships still relevant?
Author	NYCCOOP
Upvotes	26
Comments	171
Date	November 8, 2019 7:46 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/dtknhx/year_2020_are_relationships_still_relevant/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/year-2020-are-relationships-still-relevant.294497 https://theredarchive.com/post/294497

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