GF cheated on me. AWALT.

Stayinghereforreal · 2014-04-12T13:51:32+00:00

You did the right thing. Stay no contact with her and start asking out other women immediately and make sure to have fun on the dates with them.

I would bet that she will try to reconnect with you when she gets back, because she thinks she hit the "pause" button on your relationship. That is the point of those last few texts. She is trying to part on some sort of Grand Eternal Love Theory, where you two have this deep emotional connection that will transcend her getting double-teamed by two guys from the Aussie Rugby club.

So, in her fantasy future, after she gets her share of strange--with her "friends" cheering on her antics, and telling her to "go for it" with those two strapping dudes, etc.--she will get back home in a few months. She will tell her parents about all the great sights she saw. She will tell her friends about all the dicks she got. After a few weeks of being back, and normal life routines reassert themselves in her life, she will start thinking about you. A lot. What happens then?

She will try to reconnect with you. She will say she has grown a bunch as a person and want to see if you two can rekindle the special love you shared. Blah blah blah.

In short, she will be ready to have you resume beta bux role, now that alpha fux were obtained.

If you have other women in your life at that time of equal or greater value, you can consider her as a gal to have sex with. But never, ever take her back in a relationship. She blew that up forever and always.

In short, she expects to be able to whistle you back up to her side, like some sort of fucking loyal dog, when she is ready to resume her "monogamy".

Blake55 · 2014-04-12T13:50:21+00:00

"I dont want to be your friend. You've lost my respect and friendship. and soon my love for you will fade. You've fucked it the best thing that ever happened to you."

Bold. I like it!

Archwinger · 2014-04-12T14:14:40+00:00

Too much whining. You're the man.

"I feel distant... Blah blah..."

"k"

"There was this guy...Blah blah"

"k. Good luck."

"What? That's it?"

"y"

[deleted] · 2014-04-12T14:16:55+00:00

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insickness · 2014-04-12T14:45:01+00:00

Sorry things went south for you.

me : Are you in love with me? Ask yourself truthfully

Never ever ask a woman if she's in love with you, how she feels about you, how the date is going, etc. It's the height of neediness and displays a huge lack of confidence. If she feels it, she'll tell you. If she's not sure, it will surely crowd her and push her into no category.

RedPilled-Story · 2014-04-12T14:45:49+00:00

I'll step in here to say, first of all, that you did the right thing.

I've lived abroad as an exchange student. once when I was 18, a second time when I was 25.
I've noticed that anyone, when living abroad, looses its balances.

For some people, this is the first time they are really alone in a foreign country. Th ey do not know anyone, they do not know the language,... It's human to not want to be alone. So you regroup with those who have common grounds with you, speak the same language, follow the same classes and so on.
Thos people become really quickly close friends even if, in your country, you would never have talked to them or be close friends.

During the exchange, you barely talk to your family because you are caught in the everyday life and so are they. Activities, going out,... you just drift appart.
I've seen a lot of girls, at the begining of the program that introduced themselve saying that they had a boyfriend at home and, 3 months into the program, were sleeping around.

There is a saying in french that could be translated as "far from the eyes, far from the heart". Those persone are living another life abroad. A life they would not live at home. I experienced it first hand : I'm not someone who goes out a lot in my home country but during the exchange program, i barely spent an hour a day at home.

Being in this atmosphere makes you create links that are, at the time, very strong. I had close friends abroad that I told gossips, did activities with and so on. At the end of the program, you feel like abandonning your family and loosing your best friends. You promess that you'll see each other again, will travel to see them blah blah blha.

BUT, when you get back home, you get back in your habbits. You see your usual friends, you see your boyfriend/girlfriend.
You try to keep in touch with your exchange friends but they, also, are back in their habbits. and you drit appart. 6 months after you get back home, you won't see or even talk to them on FB anymore.

In this case, the girl might never have cheated if she stayed in her home country. But, she experienced being abroad, far from anyone she knows and meeting new people that became really close really fast. She kissed the guy because, at the time, at this place, she truely belived that he was better than her boyfriend...
Trust me on this, 3 months after she gets back home, she will not be with this guy anymore and will beg the former boyfriend for a second shot.
I'live lived 18 months abroad, I've seen it happen tens of times.

tl,dr living abroad fucks up your brain

IllimitableMan · 2014-04-13T01:11:02+00:00

Then she went to Thailand on a girls holiday.

Recipe for disaster, fuck "girls holidays."

She claimed she only kissed but she probably fucked him lets be honest.

As you have no way of proving the truth, assume she's using trickle truth. Trickle truth is a woman's modus operandi when she is trying to justify bad behaviour. Eg: a kiss becomes a make out, a make out becomes a handjob, a handjob becomes a blowjob, you get the jist. She has no credibility, trying to tell a half truth as she thinks she can get away with her behaviour without consequences, you know "something happened" but not exactly what, so she exploits the wriggle room given by that ambiguity and plausible deniability. This is the assumption we have to work off when we have no way to prove their innocence, you weren't in Thailand yourself or there at the time, "giving her the benefit of the doubt" can and usually does come to bite you in the ass later on for having "ignored a warning sign" when her behaviour is in doubt, assume trickle truth.

I feel so disconnected here, I think when i'm with you/at home ill feel different, but i do love you.

"Whilst you're not around I need a replacement."

being here has just made me realise how young we are and how big this world is. I dont know cuz i can see myself feeling so different when I get back. but i cant lie and say everything feels normal.

She's discovered the cock carousel.

Her : Yeah i have. but only one guy i met that i kind of liked. He tried to kiss me and i pulled away, I cried all night with FRIENDS NAME and FRIENDS NAME cuz i was fucking confused and felt guilty for probably giving him the wrong impression, even though i said to him about you and that i loved you and I just wanted us to be friends.

Pure face saving bullshit.

Have you thought about about anyone in Sweden?

Trying to make some "we're just as bad as each other" bullshit. If she can paint you as the bad guy she won't have to feel like the bad party, that was the beginning of guilt alleviation for herself. At least she is feeling guilt, for whatever that is worth.

i really am but i wouldnt have done it with anyone. i really fell for him in that moment. i know this isnt what you want to hear but i want you to know i never ever wanted to hurt you

I was right about the trickle truthing as an assumption, it's gone from pulled away from a kiss to "really fell for him in the moment" already. Holy shit, it's scary how accurately you can guess this shit once you understand TRP with such few details and no intimate knowledge of the woman in question (they really all are so very similar.) Notably, the "in the moment" part confirms the transient nature of women that in the more philosophical threads gets discussed here, that is to say, women live more in the moment than we do, if you influence their emotions correctly they will respond in a specific manner "within the moment" basically, they are manipulated easily by their feelings and rationalise why they did what they did later on. Emotive reasoning makes them more malleable and thus far more likely to "act out of character."

You've done nothing wrong rise i just havent fallin in love with you. when someone truely falls for you which they will because your the most beautiful person. they will love you unconditionally. Never change for anyone please.

Holy shit, cringe. If you don't change you'll be waiting when she hits the wall to pick up the leftovers as a beta provider, fuck that.

her : It really hurts you have no time for me. I will always be here for you and i will always love you as my best friend.

Trying to force the friend zone rather than feel dumped, very solipsist about "feeling hurt", completely neglects how her actions have hurt you, typical. The whole exercise now is about her using the exchange to make herself feel better, as kind and friendly as she tries to make herself seem, it's just standard manipulative female bullshit, as soon as the guilt subsides she will forget you quicker than you can say "alpha cock."

her : You're not looking at these messages anymore im going to go. im here if you need me always,

Attention seeking, wants it to end amicably so she can get over her guilt. Never talk to her again, don't let the bitch have closure, it's the best revenge you're going to get other than leading a good life and making sure the next bitch is hotter than her.

Good luck dealing with the break up buddy, I empathise with you reading this shit, we've all been there.

SkorchZang · 2014-04-12T20:02:51+00:00

"It's over you've lost me simple as that i dont need to say anything."

Near perfect frame, dude. Force yourself to stick to that.

If there's one thing you learn over and over from breakups and heartbreaks, and fucking heartbleeds, it's how you absolutely cannot afford to act how you really feel at those times.

You have to temporarily triple the daily red pill dosage (lifting, looking out for yourself, fucking other women even if you don't feel like it- I don't mean the sub). Then act with ruthless rational self-interest in mind, banishing all effeminate thoughts about "love" and "I miss her".

That's the best way to get through the shitty painful phase, not to mention the fact that bitches sense it, and in many cases they come crawling back to you all teary, claiming to have "made a mistake..."; which sets you up for going through the motions of rejecting HER. It's a waste of time to talk to her at all, but can be therapeutic and satisfying to reject her, if you're still hurting bad.

So it's fine, you're doing great, give yourself a pat on the back. Funniest part by far was where she's reading from the universal girl script, trying to convince you she'll totally "be there for you" (and it "hurts" you aren't there for her - that's the beginning of her future regrets and self-doubt, since you didn't cave in like a weak ass beta would/should when read that all powerful girl-script). Let's be best friends forever. Lol right, bitch.

She intentionally full on dumped you, no doubt about that whatsoever. Just doing it in the girly way where she spins it almost like it's all your idea. You can tell she was an ok girl, because at least when you asked, you heard this from her not a random friend/accidental text you see pop up that reveals her skanky behavior to you. So just be like "thanks for everything, all the best", and fuck with her head a little by displaying zero butt hurt or remorse.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9W_jW4e_uY

GayLubeOil · 2014-04-12T19:53:54+00:00

All women are promiscuous whores. How do I know? Well, you know how we often talk about raising your SMV on Red Pill? Well, if you are so lucky as to raise your SMV there is going to be a flood of pussy. A pussy tsunami of girls in relationships and marriages who clearly don't give a fuck. I fucked alot of girls in relationships and watched them text excuses to their betas back home. Iv seen it so many times that its funny at this point.

fxpip · 2014-04-12T16:01:00+00:00

"He tried to kiss me and i pulled away, I cried all night with FRIENDS NAME and FRIENDS NAME cuz i was fucking confused and felt guilty for probably giving him the wrong impression, even though i said to him about you and that i loved you and I just wanted us to be friends."

She fucked him!

KentRichard · 2014-04-12T14:03:37+00:00

Girls holiday = telling LTR you consider it over if she leaves the country. Pure dread and attraction.

[deleted] · 2014-04-12T21:33:55+00:00

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LastImmortalMan · 2014-04-12T18:33:02+00:00

Thought we might lose you back to the "it's a weird situation, but we are back together" for a second there.

Here's the thing, in a week, three weeks, a month, she's gonna contact you. You, however, are better than that. That's the thing about women, the will attempt to have their cake and eat it too. She's attempted to do that by "always being there for you". She sure cared while she was in Sweden or wherever the fuck she was enough to kiss (fuck) another guy. She isn't worth your time. No one woman will be for quite some time. She sounded conflicted when she talked to you and it's because she has no clue what she wants. This leads to her "living life" and "experiencing the big world".

Again, not worth your time. Easy come, easy go.

LastImmortalMan · 2014-04-12T18:38:21+00:00

If all women are like this, why should I bother?

[deleted] · 2014-04-12T18:56:00+00:00

She didn't put up any fight. Cuz you know why? After you dumped her, she's gonna get on dat carousel. Guilt-free, and no charge.

puaSenator · 2014-04-12T16:05:51+00:00

Ouch... Soon as you push her away the tone sort of changes from "I want to be with you; I'm confused" to "Oh, thank God. I can now be guilt free and fuck whomever sparks my giny".

mordanus · 2014-04-12T16:52:28+00:00

Never ever ever call a girl a unicorn again. That is some basic bluepill shit right there. People who search for a unicorn have a rationalized oneitis for whoever they fall in "love" with. There are no unicorns. Now you know what that is like and hopefully you will never fall into the "But she's different" trap.

CharlesODriscoll · 2014-04-12T16:54:04+00:00

I would've dumped her when she said she was going to Thailand with the girls.

FrostyGoingHisOwnWay · 2014-04-12T20:24:37+00:00

Funny how the sudden and out of the blue realization that she doesn't love him comes at the exact moment that she's ready to get some exotic foreign D abroad.

It's a sign of a weak character, the rationalization is there to cover the fact that she has basically no self control, that doesn't make for a good LTR so you should be Glad that it's over as you've essentially just dodged a bullet, and done in a place where you're seperated, you can get over this shit in peace and be ready to move on when she's back, a nice clean break, that's all you can salvage from it.

Work on yourself, keep on increasing your SMV and don't let this set you back, some women there's no amount of doing things right or being alpha enough to keep tied down, let her fuck some other BP sucker.

Other than the posturing at the end which I think you broke frame with, I think you handled it fairly well, simply having said "I don't want to be your friend. You've lost my respect and friendship" would have been a powerful note to end with.

DO NOT TEXT HER BACK OR CONTACT HER, whatever the hell you do, the temptation will be there as you let things soak in, just don't do it.

RedBigMan · 2014-04-12T16:43:38+00:00

LDR - Never!

If your GF or plate goes on a trip/vacation herself with some friends. It will almost always result in cheating. The only exception to this may be going to family/relatives for a family emergency which really isn't a vacation at all.

You could have strung her along and gotten more out of the trickle truth fountain. However, I think you got what you needed. The fact she confessed to kissing him is damning enough. The truth may be she did not go all the way with him but the fact she was kissing him meant the thought was crossing her mind which is bad enough as actually doing the deed itself.

Advice to you...

Go out. Fuck more women. Congratulations you've been cured of your NAWALT/oneitis.

[deleted] · 2014-04-12T14:24:39+00:00

I don't have a problem with your final statement, so no explanation is needed. She has lost your respect, and she has lost your friendship, and any love/pain involved will fade. These are true statements. If more men made these, women might eventually behave better. She went overseas with single friends and fucked random dudes. She's self-indulgent, and the men attached to the many penises she rides are just accessories in her solipsistic world view. Forget her.

TRPsubmitter · 2014-04-12T17:38:23+00:00

And this is why I posted a thread on LTRs earlier today, yet too many here seem to forget about OP's situation.

And good lord, those last 3 messages are infuriating as a man. Men take no pity.

HighAngleAlpha0331 · 2014-04-12T18:52:58+00:00

Eject!

Stop talking to her. Now. If you're using social media unfriend her and her friends and any orbiters she has that'll love spying on you for her. She's out of your life.

When she comes back to the States make her work hard to see you, don't answer calls or texts. If you love her pussy that much then keep her as a low level plate. Smash a few of her friends.

No such thing as unicorns.... Better that ya found out now that after you wifed her.

another1takesthepill · 2014-04-13T00:16:34+00:00

If she agreed they kissed it means they had sex ...

It's always one step further than what they agree to because FEMALE LOGIC

jacobman · 2014-04-13T02:33:41+00:00

I really dont to lose you from my life altogether and i dont want you to hate me.

This has so much meaning, and I've heard many sources talk about a girl saying almost this exact thing line for line so many times. A girl that really wants you in her life or doesn't want you to be upset with them would try harder to keep you around, and they wouldn't cheat on you to begin with. There is clearly alternate meanings or alternate unconscious/conscious motives to this statement since at face value it's clearly false.

1) I really hope you choose to dote on me while I go fuck other guys. Just in case. You know. It would be nice to have you to fall back on.

2) I don't want to look bad to other people. I hope this action isn't going to tarnish my reputation. You're still going to act like I'm a good person, right?

3) I want everyone to know that I wasn't just dating you because I didn't have other options. There really is a lot about you that I like. I don't just date anyone. I'm not a whore. There's so much about you that is amazing, which is why I want you in my life still.

[deleted] · 2014-04-12T20:12:02+00:00

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[deleted] · 2014-04-12T14:13:49+00:00

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[deleted] · 2014-04-12T18:06:54+00:00

First thing to say, outside of all the red pill strength and jazz, is that it's a bummer, isn't it? Really can hit you hard when you encounter these types of situations in your life.

Moving on, seems like you did the right thing, and is something that I hope others will learn from as well.

You got the right mindset. There are other girls out there who you can train to respect that frame, but at the end of the day, you're left with yourself and your thoughts.

Best of luck man, keep up the improvement.

throwaway-o · 2014-04-12T18:58:57+00:00

Then she went to Thailand on a girls holiday. Oh boy.

How do people not see what a terrible idea this is, and tolerate this? It's like, dude, if you were given the chance to do a "boys only" trip to Vegas for weeks on end, wouldn't you be tempted? Why wouldn't a woman feel the same thing?

kempff · 2014-04-12T19:23:18+00:00

comfort/ advice

Sometimes, when a fire breaks out in a building, someone sitting nearby extinguishes it immediately with no damage. Sometimes no one is around, and it grows until it activates the sprinklers and then gets extinguished, some smoke damage, moderate water damage. And if there are no sprinklers, the building just burns down to the ground.

It's a good thing RP has given you internal sprinklers! Next time around however you're going to be on top of it with a fire extinguisher aren't you.

[deleted] · Sat Apr 12 23:11:29 2014 UTC

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cyear · 2014-04-12T13:55:42+00:00

That sucks man. Move on. Go lift, be a man, do something for yourself. You got this.

[deleted] · 2014-04-12T15:45:11+00:00

You did the right thing by ending it and cutting her off immediately. You're also probably right, sadly enough, that you shouldn't have sought comfort from her - she was probably out having fun and it was like "Ugh, my boyfriend is depressed" and that made it that much easier to cheat. Women won't love you unconditionally - it's your responsibility to keep being awesome and avoid giving her reasons to think she could get a better deal elsewhere.

That said, take the lesson and move forward. You sound like an honest man who knows how to deal with women. Focus on your goals and you shouldn't have a problem finding someone better.

anomnommouse0142 · 2014-04-12T17:51:47+00:00

This is the Catch22 shit test. If you keep her, she'll do it again and worse. If you ditch her, you lose her. But that's the closest option to winning that she's left you.

ccccb · 2014-04-12T14:45:16+00:00

That's tough, man. You know, the best way to get over someone is to sleep around.

She says she didn't fall in love with you and that's harsh news and i feel for ya.

RAL9000 · 2014-04-12T14:50:04+00:00

"Never change for anyone please."

thats seems to be the grain of truth in her writing. Always keep your frame.

trpMilo · 2014-04-12T17:43:36+00:00

Ok, so when this girl wants to get back with you (and she will), you stay a stone cold fucking killer. This bitch is not in love with you, she told you that. She is going to try and make you feel bad, like you are right for each other. DO NOT LISTEN. You gave her the chance and she CHOSE to do what she did. Do not let her tell you she is different. She is the same. There are so many girls out there that will practically worship you if you act like a Red Pill guy.

etherael · 2014-04-12T19:32:14+00:00

Western women in Thailand, especially ones that in their home countries get plenty of attention and are considered quite attractive, can be totally thrown off their frame due to their drastically altered market values in the mating game. Before they spend their entire life being catered to and always the center of attention with throngs of relatively high value sycophantic suitors, and here even busted up older guys would just prefer to stick to the Thai women mostly. It can certainly cause them to desperately seek validation, typically amongst the equally out of their element brief stay backpacking khao san tourist set.

Basically; Take comfort, This may well have very little to do with you and everything to do with her and what she experienced here.

ekjohnson9 · 2014-04-12T20:16:31+00:00

Handled it much better than the usual "she cheated on me" posts here. Hold your head up high and realize you kept frame and didn't compromise yourself or your integrity.

[deleted] · 2014-04-13T00:52:14+00:00

me : You kissed him. Boom. We over.

me : I dont want to be your friend. You've lost my respect and friendship. and soon my love for you will fade. You've fucked it the best thing that ever happened to you. At least i know with my next girlfriend not to be pushy and needy when she is abroad

You are the fucking man dude. Great attitude. Stoic, to the point. No name calling or other bullshit. Swiftly and efficiently cut off.

Riusakii · 2014-04-13T06:46:15+00:00

Pat yourself on the back.

You did exactly what an alpha does. Her kissing the guy was a deal breaker for you and you followed through by immediately ending it. Kudos on that one.

You also advised her friendship was not an option. Again a fucking home run on your part. Good fucking job!!

You are also going no contact. This exactly what you need to do. DO NOT INITIATE CONTACT with her ever again. If she eve happens to call or get in touch you, let her know to stop contacting you and to respect your wishes in this regard.

Another thing you need to know is that you must love a person in such a way that they feel free. Meaning not the be pushy or clingy. If a girl is going to cheat on you it's going to happen and there is nothing any man can do about it. From your words it appears you showed weakness by initiating contact while she was on her trip. You acted weak and needy and she felt as she was losing her freedom. This is what pushed her to do this.

It's good that you broke it off because instead of her bringing this up and trying to let you know about her attraction dropping, she instead tried to find another guy to fulfill whatever was missing. This is not the type of girl any man would have a real relationship with. As soon as she senses things going south, she goes spreading her legs to other men.

With all this said, you handled the breakup like a true alpha and I commend you for it. Just remember not to make the same mistakes with the next one.

IllimitableMan · 2014-04-12T19:41:23+00:00

First she claimed he tried to kiss her and she pulled him away, then she claimed she kissed him for a few seconds. Afterwards, she even admitted that she fell for him (or liked him) and thought about fucking him. If she felt that way about a guy she barely knew, then she probably truly never loved you in the first place. Your ass was probably the last thing she was thinking of. Women are incapable of love.

afcpoop · 2014-04-12T15:17:25+00:00

You handled it like a champ.Sounds like, momentary, you are gonna lose a lot (sex/cook). I hope you recover soon/don't have shitty feelings over this.

bradyo2 · 2014-04-12T15:31:51+00:00

Well played, you didn't give in to her Hamstering, and you seem to acknowledge the mistakes you made in opening up to her when you were down.

It's only going to be up from here. Go out, see some more girls, eventually she'll get wind and start crawling back. Then it's up to you. Ignore her/make her a plate/whatever, but never get let it get back to how it was (what's stopping her from repeating herself?). She's fucked it for good, make sure she knows.

ratthing · 2014-04-12T16:40:22+00:00

Thanks for posting this, there's a lot of good lessons here. Move on and keep on TRPing!

ScannerSloppy · 2014-04-12T17:45:42+00:00

I am 37 years old, have been working class my whole life (skilled labor, but blue collar nonetheless). So this may be a class difference or a generational difference, but when did it become commonplace for young women in committed relationships to go on vacations with their female friends, without their SO? When my wife and I were in our late twenties (we married in our mid-twenties), we occasionally would go on weekend getaways separately. But leaving the country for an extended period of time would have been a no-go.

RRBeachFG2 · 2014-04-12T18:01:50+00:00

sorry to hear about this man, we got ur back though.

clenndog · 2014-04-12T18:15:41+00:00

Sorry dude that really sucks, feels Just get out in to the world and have some fun, whatever your definition of that is.

silverfox007 · 2014-04-12T18:19:27+00:00

Damn that's fucked up, she cleared her concessions by breaking up with you and now is with some guy she just met or on a fkn spree.

[deleted] · 2014-04-12T18:45:10+00:00

Meh, man you did well. Find another woman or don't. The choice is yours, but do your own thing, whatever that means to you.

TheRabid · 2014-04-12T18:56:48+00:00

I'm confused. Were you planning a LTR with this woman? If so, then that's where you fucked up. If not, who gives a shit? She's just another card in the deck, no?

[deleted] · 2014-04-12T19:33:38+00:00

you handle it like a boss. i just read "war brides" an article about how evolution made women more adapted to change partners because if one provided died, her survival depended on her getting attached to a new provider.

mghow · 2014-04-12T22:55:38+00:00

Go no contact and seek happiness and fulfillment within, not externally. Ive seen some comments advising him to go sleep with other women. Once you guys learn there is more to life than sleeping around and seeking validation from females, you will know freedom.

frazzleddd · 2014-04-12T22:59:45+00:00

I'm guessing since you treated her like a unicorn you'd already set her plan to relegate you to a beta bux in motion. Its why she was so confident that you'd come back. All women are like that when you let them behave like that

incraved · 2014-04-12T23:35:27+00:00

Man, is this some college crap? Even some spelling is wrong

[deleted] · 2014-04-13T01:57:26+00:00

She didn't just kiss him, she fucked him. Guarantee it.

[deleted] · 2014-04-13T02:04:36+00:00

Long distance is almost always a killer, especially with the young. Not sure if adults are any better. You dodged a bullet there. That is some nasty "i don't want to lose you" crap - they say that shit on auto pilot.

Sorry for your loss bro. Get lifting.

rymdsylt · 2014-04-14T06:37:47+00:00

TL;DR being cheated on and taking my ex back after finding out was the best thing that ever happened to me. I'd like to say that I finally grasped the ideology of trp.

I did the mistake of taking my ex back after she cheated on me while she was abroad, too. she was at rhodos with a bunch of friends from school(all guys but one girl). my best friends, who went to school with her, was told she cheated on my from a mutual friend of him and my ex. I had to pull it out of her for her to admit she cheated on me.

several weeks after she got back I suspected something. she kept texting this one guy that I'd heard of before but she never talked about. "we became great friends at rhodos". yeah, I guess you become great friends after fucking each other.

I broke up with her right away when she admitted what she'd done, but took her back a few months later after I struck out with a girl I met that summer. I've resented my self ever since. I felt so ashamed for "accepting" her adultery but felt I couldn't be with out her.

we finally broke up, again, a few days ago and even though it feels kind of empty right now, I know I'll be much happier with out her. I finally got time to improve my self and don't have to think and worry about her.

[deleted] · 2014-06-03T12:24:22+00:00

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Garnack · 2014-04-12T15:04:39+00:00

Good job man! You've got a level head on your shoulders, keep it there.

shitaintworthit · 2014-04-12T14:02:12+00:00

She didn't consider you to be a stable rock, you failed to maintain frame, simple as that. A woman wants to be with a man she can admire and look up to, not a man that comes to her for comfort.

I don't know man, you seem to have been a red piller for a long time, so I don't think I've said anything that you don't know already, you just failed to apply the theory properly.

You need to consider wether you're angry at her, because you shouldn't be, just take 100% responsibility and move on. Learn from your mistakes.

Most importantly now that you're alone, learn to embrace your loneliness, really be aware of your eternal independence, because that's what you are, alone. Nothing can change that, not even a red pill relationship with a unicorn.

Edit: People seem to downvote me because I'm "white knighting". Every red pill man should know that there's an inherent risk going into an LTR. Women are going to women, she may cheat, she may not, it all depends on how you maintain the relationship, and it may affect your relationship positively or negatively, there are no guarantees.

If you decide to pick up a scorpion, it may sting you or not, it could still sting you even if you were careful. Doesn't really matter, as it would be your responsibility, for you decided to pick it up knowing all the risks going with it.

BluepillProfessor · 2014-04-12T21:16:43+00:00

The conversations sounds like she wanted to break up because you lost your frame. Your explanations were very telling and honest so let me be honest. In my opinion this is not your GF's fault- or it is no more her fault than ANY other woman on the planet. Tomossi has his iron laws so here is the bluepillprofessor's First Titanium Law:

If you lose your frame, she will lose the tingles.

Corollary #1: You are the Captain of the relationship and you cannot EVER dump your negativity on the crew. Corollary #2: The Captain cannot EVER expect or rely on sympathy or emotional support from his crew.

emptyform · 2014-04-12T14:20:34+00:00

Could've done without that dramatic speech at the end. Just say it's over.

Now she has something to show to her friends and cry "ooooh look at what she wrote to me!" and your reputation/chances of hooking up with her friends are now ruined.

skinisblackmetallic · 2014-04-12T17:22:29+00:00

That blows man.

I would never ask a woman if she loved me.

HighAngleAlpha0331 · 2014-04-12T18:52:58+00:00

Eject!

Stop talking to her. Now. If you're using social media unfriend her and her friends and any orbiters she has that'll love spying on you for her. She's out of your life.

When she comes back to the States make her work hard to see you, don't answer calls or texts. If you love her pussy that much then keep her as a low level plate. Smash a few of her friends.

No such thing as unicorns.... Better that ya found out now that after you wifed her.

TheIronViking · 2014-04-12T19:48:16+00:00

I'm so sorry bro, I've been there. I know you'll pull through and thrive.

[deleted] · 2014-04-12T19:58:18+00:00

RPW here. She was obviously lying about something. When women feel guilty, at least in my experience, they lay everything out and seek comfort. They don't do this whole "weeeeelll it wasn't really a kiss because blahhhh" thing. Good job realizing she probably slept with him and dumping her quickly without too much emotion.

Better yourself and get yourself a real lady. From what I see here, you should already be beating women off with a shoe! Good luck! (:

Aaron565 · 2014-04-12T20:56:22+00:00

This just proves that she is incapable of controlling her own emotions. Everything is always about "how she feels". If there is ever another thing you say to her, let it be: "How can I ever respect someone who is incapable of self control?"

MoldyClownSuit · 2014-04-12T21:42:41+00:00

You didnt miss anything. Shes a cheater, dont mess with cheaters. Its very simple, just say what you feel to women with little filtering. Its not about getting revenge. You think she cares if you go out and mess with other women after you break up when she is messing with other guys while you together? Your mistaken. She might feel bad that its over and try to rekindle things but remember what she did. Im not saying get back with her or dont, just use your head.

If you fake a persona to get with a woman then youll have to do it forever, and if you dont then it appears as though youve changed and blah blah blah.

I mean go out and have fun now that your single, but dont do it for revenge.

LastImmortalMan · 2014-04-12T22:20:28+00:00

Dude, the girl can't fucking spell or type properly... that should have been your first fucking clue.

Honestly, it sounds like neither of you are ready for any serious commitment! Take it for what it is (it seems like you have) and go fuck lifes shit up for a couple of months/years. The 'perfect' girl will come to you and you won't even be thinking about it.

slomotionhighscore · 2014-04-12T22:22:01+00:00

proud of you for dropping it cold.

i pulled the same neediness bullshit when she was away for a couple of weeks over christmas - attraction died - relationship died.

definitely stick to no contact.

i'm still struggling with having to accept that I can never open up to a girl ever again.

stay strong!

[deleted] · 2014-04-12T22:26:47+00:00

I loved that part where you told her that she's lost your respect and friendship. Way to go, man!

[deleted] · 2014-04-12T23:28:15+00:00

LTR and LDR don't mix well. Technology is making it easier and easier for kids to think they can just keep the sparks alive over skype and texting. It's all an illusion. We fool ourselves that being with anybody, even a digital representation of someone far away, is better than being alone. As women it seems like we should fight the distance to be with the men we love, but most of us are clueless to the temptations that await us. If we pride ourselves as unicorns we are both innocent and arrogant in thinking we are above such temptations while in the meantime our bodies are screaming at us to make babies.

As a girl in college I seemed to have a thing for LDRs. 2.5 years with my high school sweetheart NY to FL and 6 months dating a guy who lived in fucking German that I only saw a total of 2x (when I first met him and then when he visited me for a few weeks). I wish I could say I was loyal, but now I see the pure hypergamy of my gender at work and how clueless I was to it. I kept these guys on the line for emotional connection, and a few weeks of intense sex every few months. I never had sex with other men while in these relationships, but I ended up in some pretty sketchy situations. In the end I just "took a break" or simply broke up when there was an alpha around that I was interested in. The beta high school boyfriend kept taking me back after our "breaks" because I was more interesting and inspiring than anything he had going on. And I was trying to be a good girl and keep "fighting for our love." When I was with the German guy I even fell "in love" with a Polish coworker without ever getting physically involved with him (emotional cheating). I was naive and I thought that simply because I loved someone, that I would be unable to have feelings for anyone else, and if I did have feelings for anyone else then something must be wrong with my original love. A lack of education as to how men and women really work makes us all do ignorant and stupid things "in the name of love."

When I dumped my German bf for a man oozing with alpha, it was because he made me realize the pointlessness of LDRs. I realized the narcissism of a life that let me act "free," go out and party with my girlfriends but still have a bf on call whenever I needed emotional support. The alpha I left my LDR for has since kept me on the emotional string for 4.5 years now and I love him for it. He taught me RP theory years before I discovered this subreddit and learned of the word "hypergamy." He has trained me how to become a feminine woman again, how to unlearn the feminist habits I picked up in NYC. Because of him I have cut off all ties to former male "friends" other than ones he approves of and is friends with too. When my old Polish coworker was in town, my new instincts told me that it was not good for me to stop by my old work place and I completely avoided him. I love cooking for my man and cleaning his place and doing all the feminine things my former self would have rejected on an "equality" standard. I have turned down the advances of rock stars and celebrities because I am so well trained to avoid tempting situations and people (and because I believe my man to be every bit of alpha as they are). He has trained me to like anal, to love threesomes, to manage his business, to make breakfast every morning, to sing in his band, to do his taxes and to understand and respect what "loyalty" means to a man. But he never puts me on a pedestal because he is the one who made me what I am now. I was an open willing mind and I've put in a lot of work to get where I am, but I will always credit my man, I would not be who I am now without him and this ties my loyalty to him more than any "boyfriend" label could. Like a god he made me in his image, so no other man could be as perfect for me as he is.

Gentlemen of TRP I would like to suggest the theory that unicorns are not to be found, they are to be made. You cannot simply pluck the perfect woman off a tree with a little PUArtistry and expect her to already be everything you want in a woman. If RP has taught us anything it is to appreciate the work and effort that comes with self improvement. Once you've worked on yourself enough to reach a certain level of alpha, you can start improving the lives of others. This is what leadership is all about.

My man's strong frame has molded me into the woman he wants me to be, and I desperately needed his guidance and leadership. I have changed so much since I met him because he has shown me a way of truth that spoke to me stronger than anything I had previously learned, and he has patiently taught me this reality and how to better myself. If you want your unicorn, work on your alpha status and SMV, find a high quality woman with potential and an open mind, and teach her about RP and how to be the woman of your dreams. LEAD her and she will worship you for it. RAISE her as if you were a RP father to her, you must be a stronger father to her than her real father (who was likely BP.) She may kick and scream a little like I did but hold frame, be a man and she will learn how to be a woman that wants nothing but to please you.

SpongeCroft · 2014-04-13T16:11:03+00:00

exactly what my ex said after she "kissed" her ex-boyfriend while we were together. don't ever message her again, she'll try to get in touch with you via your friends, by writing you online or some shit, don't let that happen.

block that bitch on every social media you have. delete her number. find a slut to fuck without having to get together with her. profit.

magx01 · 2014-04-13T17:33:38+00:00

Honestly, when I read shit like this in my blue pill days, I used to be like "fuckin bitches man, fuck!....well, she's right though, you'll find the one" and now all I can think is THAT RELATIONSHIP SHOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED IN THE FIRST PLACE. At least not in the monogamous sense. We're playing pretend with our own biology and then putting ourselves (men and women) in all sorts of bad positions and pain.

I really hope society at large wakes up to this fact. They say non monogamy doesn't work, isn't realistic and "I could never do that" but the reality is we ARE doing that. Monogamy is not even the reality, it's just a fantasy. The amount of cheating that goes on means we are already 3/4ths into a polyamorous society; we're just not admitting it.

Varrian · 2014-04-14T10:38:29+00:00

Boom. We over.

And that's where the conversation should have ended. Anyway, tough luck, bro. Get out there and spin them plates.

[deleted] · 2014-04-12T13:55:52+00:00

i have some legit questions. im sure a mod will delete this comment or ill get a ton of of downvotes or banned or something, but whatever:

why are all women like this just because this one chick cheated on you?
why are you the best thing that ever happened to her? thats a statement that makes it seem like you are selfish in the relationship, which may have contributed to you getting cheated on.
if rp logic says that when women get cheated on its because theyre lacking something and or not keeping up their end of the relationship(ive been browsing this subreddit for months now and have repeatedly seen this stated so please do not try and tell me that this is not rp logic) why is this not true the other way around? perhaps you were not keeping up your end of the relationship. perhaps you were neglecting her in some way. she said you have no time for her. perhaps you werent spending enough time with her and she felt as though she wasnt really important to you.

i am in no way saying that you deserve to get cheated on. its actually pretty shitty that she cheated on you. if she wanted to see other people she should have broken things off before she went abroad. also i dont disagree with you dumping her. you have every right to but dont let this one cheating girl make you not trust all girls.

[deleted] · 2014-04-12T15:12:29+00:00

[permanently deleted]

-nyx- · 2014-04-12T19:16:20+00:00

Wow, that's just petty...

You broke up with her over a kiss? A kiss that she was honest about and felt guilty about to?

If you mean "all women sometimes have doubts about their feelings" then no shit, but the same goes for men

[deleted] · 2014-04-12T18:03:21+00:00

Just thought I'd throw this into the ring. Forgiveness??

Title	GF cheated on me. AWALT.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	216
Comments	312
Date	April 12, 2014 1:39 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/22upn5/gf_cheated_on_me_awalt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/gf-cheated-on-me-awalt.13962 https://theredarchive.com/post/13962

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