To fall in love with anyone, do this

Archwinger · 2015-01-13T16:12:22+00:00

This is interesting, but not surprising.

One of the premises of game is to simulate more comfort and intimacy than what actually exists. Touch like you're old friends. Joke, tease, and banter like you're established buddies not trying to impress each other. Isolate for some alone time. Talk about sexual and personal things as though you already have that kind of relationship. Hop between locations to create an artificial feeling of a longer time span and multiple dates.

You create the sense of "love."

I imagine going through a structured series of increasingly personal questions creates a similar sense of closeness.

nicethingyoucanthave · 2015-01-13T14:31:22+00:00

I wonder if blue pillers would call this sort of thing manipulative.

AntixD · 2015-01-13T12:19:09+00:00

the questions are here,some cool questions i must admit http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html

reddick1 · 2015-01-13T14:21:12+00:00

Great resource for questions for random conversation topics. Keep her talking.

TrainingTheBrain · 2015-01-13T12:06:56+00:00

The author mentions that falling in love is not something that happens to you, but it is an action that we can do, like moving a muscle.

I agree with your point regarding having a choice. Something I think worth noting and possibly expanding on is the concept that you can make that choice, over and over again throughout the relationship.

After several discussions of Marriage on TRP I have seen the point brought up consistently that when you say your vows you are marrying that person, not who they'll be in 10 years. I agree to an extent, but this article hits on the point that as these 2 people are growing old together they are choosing time and time again to fall (back) in Love.

Now, I am completely avoiding the whole Love is Blind because I don't think it is, I think women are smart and men are naive to their wit which is why so many men enter (and remain) in awful LTR's/Marriages.

With that said, I also think that there is hope for the men who lost their way in their marriage and turned into completely weaksauce beta fucks.

By taking action and implementing the philosophies on self improvement and sexual strategy into your marriage, you can get your wife to fall back in love with you. If your wife completely let herself go due to your lack of leadership, then you too, can take charge of the helm and make the love come back in your life.

I fell in love with my wife when she was still my girlfriend. After deployments and several other major Tests I fell in love with her as my wife. I then fell in love after our first and second child. It is a process that is constantly evolving and ongoing.

For those who want to walk the path of an LTR, choose wisely and make sure it is your choice when/if you start flirting with the idea of telling a girl you love her and letting her into your personal world.

bsutansalt · 2015-01-13T18:35:32+00:00

Here's the list of questions:

Set I

Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
Would you like to be famous? In what way?
Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II

If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
What do you value most in a friendship?
What is your most treasured memory?
What is your most terrible memory? Continue reading the main story Related Coverage

Modern Love: To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do ThisJAN. 9, 2015
If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
What does friendship mean to you?
What roles do love and affection play in your life?
Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set III

Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “ Continue reading the main story Continue reading the main story Continue reading the main story
Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “
If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

edit: here's how you can put them to good use...

/r/TheRedPill/comments/2s9r0i/to_fall_in_love_with_anyone_do_this/cnnw5ba

bsutansalt · 2015-01-13T14:59:47+00:00

I said it yesterday when this was posted in another thread that you could build an entire style of game around this.

edit: I made a simple 4 step process for putting these questions to good use....

/r/TheRedPill/comments/2s9r0i/to_fall_in_love_with_anyone_do_this/cnnw5ba

HeinousFu_kery · 2015-01-13T16:22:02+00:00

I'm going to add this piece on crushes, which I have tucked in with the posted article.

Why crushes?

Crushes are what develop when you don't really know someone, but you both find some similarity and start filling in the blanks yourself, somehow making them fit you and you both fit together in your own minds. This can lead to bad marriages, bad LTRs or at least really embarrassing walks of shame. It can also lead to real love.

Crushes don't always turn out to be the same thing as love in real life as we all know, and the "How to Fall In Love With Anyone " might better be titled "How to Cultivate a Crush".

Love takes longer and is something about fitting together for real, and dealing with the times that you don't fit (and the fact that the other person isn't perfect, but is perfect for you), rather than that ideal picture that's in one or the others' head. The idealistic mental picture by itself will inevitably be disappointed unless its grounded in reality.

http://thephilosophersmail.com/relationships/on-the-madness-and-charm-of-crushes/

MisterMisfit · 2015-01-13T14:04:48+00:00

I don't buy it. In my experience i have opened up to women whom I was close to and while I thought at the time that I could trust them the relationship turned from warm and sexual to lucid. Women don't appreciate this thing like men do, they want someone stoic and mysterious.

Axotl · 2015-01-13T15:05:32+00:00

I can't help but wonder if the eyes thing is the more effective aspect of the experiment. Eye contact is pretty powerful, as is the ability to keep a conversation going. The 36 questions could be anything.

Purecorrupt · 2015-01-13T16:55:05+00:00

I'd be curious if someone were to try this with a girl they just met on Tinder or something like that. I think it'd be an interesting FR if it didn't fail anytime before the "4 minute stare".

magus678 · 2015-01-13T18:23:26+00:00

I must say, she has a very readable quality to her writing.

Incognitro777 · 2015-01-13T17:04:24+00:00

Basically, ask deep questions about the person, and make strong eye contact. When the person revelas their deepest thoughts to you, they expose themselves and become naked to your eye. People only expose themselves to people they trust. Pair that with strong eye contact and off course you get "love".

rearended · 2015-01-13T17:28:41+00:00

I wonder if this would work for a couple who have lost the 'spark'.

magus678 · 2015-01-13T18:35:41+00:00

I was in therapy for depression for a time, and we actually did the staring into the eyes thing. They were approaching with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). The point of the exercise was to basically become comfortable with being uncomfortable.

It played out not unlike how she wrote; it's hard not to laugh at first. In my case at least, my body was trying to dispel the uncomfortable tension that was being created. To her (yep) credit though, she half-giggled her way through the first couple minutes with me until we settled down and were able to get it done.

Truth be told? I think it did create some attraction between us. It wasn't extreme, but I noticed it. So in that capacity, I can testify to at least a thread of truth in it. But it cuts both ways to an extent, so just be aware.

Have you noticed that when you work out earlier in the morning you tend to feel more comfortable in your skin that day? I feel the same way about this kind of exercise. It lends this halo of invincibility for awhile, I suspect for similar reasons.

JeromeMorrow13 · 2015-01-13T16:02:21+00:00

I don't buy this. The sample size is way too small.

In the original study, the design was to bring two strangers to feel closer together....which it did...not make someone fall in love with you.

Keep in mind, this is written by a 33 yr old looking for BB. If that's your angle, then it may work for you.

But seriously, meeting a woman and opening up about your childhood and shit? LOL No thanks. I'm doing fine.

I think Krauser PUA said that the field observations of game have proved to be more useful than any formal study to have come out of the social sciences.

solomungundy · 2015-01-13T17:52:17+00:00

I've read through the 36 questions and I think they are more qualifying questions than anything else. The Dr. has perfected (or at least says he has) the exact questions you need to ask a girl to figure out if she's the right one for you. It's not rocket science, but I know I've definitely asked some of these questions on dates, or iterations of them.

Also, eye contact is a huge builder of attraction and trust. If you can look in someone's eyes for several minutes, you pass apart of yourself to them and they to you. Good stuff though.

queenofnidra · 2015-01-13T18:04:20+00:00

Yes this does seem like an interesting study. Especially love the part where she says 2 minutes is enough to get you terrified, 4 is really going somewhere. The staring that is. But IMO there goes along with intimacy a kind of privilege. A privilege that not everyone you meet is worthy of. Now most people give up this privilege quite easily. A privilege of a having an insight into someone else's mind and life. Which is why, when we breakup we feel betrayed. Betrayed not only by the person but that of ourselves. Because we lose not only the person, but a part of ourselves that we give them access to. Now, given that these questions supposedly can make two people fall in love, it isn't about the questions, but the answers. And of course answers depend on the person you ask.

itchy_wizard · 2015-01-13T20:29:01+00:00

If I recall correctly the researchers found that asking those questions does not make you fall in love. Instead they help making the two persons feel connected to each other. If a man and a woman feel connected in a strong way, chances of them starting a relationship are higher.

But asking those questions would also make two men strengthen their friendship. I used those questions to create a stronger bond between mentors and mentees in organizations.

I'm on mobile right now but I think I have that paper somewhere.

Goldfulgore · 2015-01-13T17:01:14+00:00

Sorry this is a bunch of crap to me. Her inner dialog got annoying. "It’s astounding, really, to hear what someone admires in you. I don’t know why we don’t go around thoughtfully complimenting one another all the time." Really??!! Go compliment a HB 10 you dumb bitch and watch her react.

It's a story about a solipsistic woman and a BP horny dude who played along. This thing doesn't work unless both of them are really looking for a SO and most hot women don't. They don't seek only comfort, but challenge as well.

JovianTrainWreck · 2015-01-13T20:20:22+00:00

Interesting, but definitely not something I would want to be doing to plates or random chicks that I just happen to find attractive. This absolutely obliterates the golden rule of "be a closed book" if you're just trying to get laid.

If you're going for an LTR though, have at it, hoss.

ex_astris_sci · 2015-01-13T21:08:43+00:00

She just sounded eager to fall in love, too easy a target. I don't know if you can manipulate genuine arousal/sexual desire, which is probably more exciting than "love". If the proper chemical elements are not there, I doubt it's going to happen. Besides who said that intimacy is that strongly connected with being in love? It seems quite the opposite is true at times.

mrshowdown · 2015-01-13T22:45:07+00:00

Very interesting however I hope this doesn't turn guys into robots memorizing lines

Subhazard · 2015-01-14T02:09:53+00:00

I've set this up with 3 different women.

Will come back with my results.

babybelly · 2015-01-13T20:31:24+00:00

Funny thing.

Even if this were 100% accurate, women will only do this with men they want to fuck already.

Radox_Redux · 2015-01-13T16:19:47+00:00

It won't work with somebody fat and/or noticeably physical disabled. You can guarantee it.

Perhaps the guy, if he's beta and thirsty enough, but otherwise it's a no go.

anothercarguy · 2015-01-13T17:25:21+00:00

This proves plenty of fish

VarsitySlutTeamCpt · 2015-01-13T22:29:23+00:00

Very interesting questions. It seems that the purpose is to connect emotionally and not sexually.

tyofwa · 2015-01-13T23:04:11+00:00

[permanently deleted]

hohamocha · 2015-01-13T23:07:17+00:00

I think there are risks involved in this method of the 4 minute stare. One is that you might develop a oneitis for a girl that you do this thing with. Two, the questions need to be asked carefully, or not even asked at all, so that you do not become seen as potential beta bux by her. Talking about get-to-know-your-life-and-dreams-and-aspirations is shit that a girl would prefer to do when sitting with her friendzoned nice guy who she views like a brother or her idiot beta bux boyfriend who she's cheating on. As an experienced alpha male, this girl is just another bitch in your notch, and you should not give a fuck about her to ask her questions about what she thinks the value of friendship is. If you do ask those questions, and continue revealing your innermost thoughts and feelings to her, she's going to see you as a beta bux. Think about it, would a man who has fucked many women put a single girl on a pedestal and start asking and caring about her personal life/ revealing his own feelings? Of course not. He would maintain attraction through flirting and escalating and taking her back to his place to fuck, for he knows that there is nothing special about this girl. Also, the girl in the situation also knows subconsciously that a player/experienced man would not ask her these philosophical questions either because why the hell would he care about another pussy that much when he is spinning 5 other plates?

If you treat a woman like a normal person and tell them about your life/ ask about their life like you would to any person you are not sexually interested in, she will interact with you as just a normal person. If you treat her like a sexual being and flirt with her, she will also treat you like a sexual being.

Basically if you want to become a Beta Bux t a woman you are asking these questions to, then go ahead and do it.

AllOrDeath · 2015-01-13T23:53:25+00:00

Doesn't this contradict the accepted mansophere maxim that desire is not negotiable?

basedbobby · 2015-01-14T00:06:51+00:00

This article only frustrates me because it reminds me of how many queues I am missing out because of my bad vision. I will see a friend watch a girl from across the room and apparently shes doing the same and boom he's over there talking to here. Ill see something I like and "apparently" shes looking back at my but I can't see her so I miss those queues and usually just go for it anyway, but I can't help but wonder how much of this action I have missed thus far lol.

cos_2 · 2015-01-14T01:38:43+00:00

What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

What do you value most in a friendship?

What is your most terrible memory?

What does friendship mean to you?

What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

This is the male shit test. Or at least the gender-neutral shit test.

NakedAndBehindYou · 2015-01-14T03:37:36+00:00

I have pasted the direct link because this link deserves to be popular.

I don't think this lets you break the rules...

oldmantrp · 2015-01-14T06:17:05+00:00

I have a date on thursday. I showed her the link. She's willing to go through the questions with me.

Will report back.

SwagYoloJesus · 2015-01-16T00:21:02+00:00

I'm taking this on a Tinder date tomorrow, will update you guys with the results.

SidechainZ · 2015-01-17T23:52:30+00:00

This has actually been known for a long time.

It is an old PUA technique called building rapport. You ask rapport building questions like these.

It is even in the old mystery method.

Gold_Mouth · 2015-01-13T14:53:15+00:00

So you just use the lines and people fall in love with you? Like those three weird questions that can make any woman instantly wet?

Gioware · 2015-01-13T23:15:25+00:00

I am not sure I am getting this, they fell in love because of intimate questions or what?

Fetish_Goth · 2015-01-13T14:09:59+00:00

True love is the love of a parent, or the love of a brother.

There is silent appreciation, fun, friendship, and sexual attraction, but not "love" as a concept with regard to romance.

LifeAtPeace · 2015-01-13T12:00:00+00:00

I have not read the article but I can tell you that falling in love is something that happens to teenagers (or once in a life time). It happens when you have not understood women well and have not fucked more than one woman. Hang out with 3+ girls for a few weeks and fuck them well. I will guarantee, you can't even think of love.

PartytimeEscape · 2015-01-13T21:02:35+00:00

This is new and interesting. :|

Aok4twentay · 2015-01-13T16:46:37+00:00

Commenting to revisit this when im not sitting in the bathroom.

Title	To fall in love with anyone, do this
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	445
Comments	132
Date	January 13, 2015 11:02 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2s9r0i/to_fall_in_love_with_anyone_do_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.27911 https://theredarchive.com/post/27911

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