Cold approach is ineffective

Canadian-Seductioner · 2022-08-25T02:56:00+00:00

You're right, but you also fail to realize that just like sales, the product matters. If your product (you) is shit, nobody is going to be interested in it, no matter how good you are at sales or how many potential clients you approach. You may get some out of luck or because they get bamboozled by your sales tactics, but in general, you will fail at closing deals. However, if your product is super attractive, your closing ratio will be much much higher.

Technical_Hawk8547 · 2022-08-25T01:40:10+00:00

That’s totally valid. If you want to only explore that avenue then more power to you. Cold approach is more about broadening your options. Think for a second if the tables were turned. You had a girl approach you and hit on you. Now this girl was nice, respectful, and warm. Yet she just wasn’t your type. Would you lead this girl on or just tell her you aren’t interested? You also probably wouldn’t be rude or mean to them, if anything it made your day better as someone found you attractive enough to take time out of there day to talk to you.

It’s a round about way of saying that not every girl will like you off approaching them in public and not to take it personally. It just doesn’t hurt to try

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-08-25T02:10:07+00:00

It’s funny because many other people get very good results from cold approach, which shows that someone’s social skills, natural charisma and attractiveness have a tremendous influence on whether cold approaching works or not.

Just because it doesn’t work for you, doesn’t mean it doesn’t work for other people. Your reality about cold approach doesn’t really represent the reality of many others who do cold approach.

There are some who will share your reality and many others won won’t share it

The only reason you are writing this here is because you just wants to hear that your failure with women is not due to your incompetence, when in fact it is.

Much like your failure in sales also has to do with your incompetence because i know people who are in sales who get a sale for every 3 calls on average.

5_7pickup · 2022-08-25T04:45:12+00:00

I find it funny you think its ineffective when you havent even tried it. You talk about a subject you know nothing about.

Cold approach has exponentially improved my dating life. I started a year ago exactly. During the past year, Ive met thousands of women, slept with dozens, made out with hundreds, and currently have 3 active FWB who I met via cold approach. Refer to my field reports. Ive documented my journey since day 1.

OLD has always been trash for me. 8 years of OLD intermittently with zero results. Never met a girl from OLD.

However OLD can be effective if you do it right. Social circle game is just trash. By the time you meet one attractive single girl via social circle game, I would have met 20 single attractive girls via cold approach.

2022-08-25T03:08:22+00:00

The thing about sales is that it's all about getting your prospect to MAKE THE DAMN DECISION. You can have the greatest thing to sell, but if they're still humming and hawing over pulling the trigger to purchase, you're still going to get nowhere.

In many cases it has nothing to do with your skill level, the quality of your product, or anything like that. It's all about getting them to have the courage to feel completely safe and comfortable making the decision, and feel really good about it.

It's the same in pickup. You might not be the best looking or most together man - but none of that actually really matters if you can convince them that sleeping with you is the best decision they've already made. You need to frame that and the reason why they're talking to you is not to screen you out, but to find more reasons to convince themselves that you're exactly what they are after.

Bicepsrage · 2022-08-25T09:30:58+00:00

If anyone is interested in statistics...

After many years of doing game. I finaly decided to do some stats.

So in May I did 44 approaches in DG...

From 44 approaches Ive got 4 dates 2 Instadates and 1 Pull.

Ive got 2 friends that also do game. And they have said that usualy you get 1pull from 100 approaches.

Nullroute127 · 2022-08-25T03:57:30+00:00

I want to call this defeatest, but it doesn't even sound like you've attempted cold approach?

You seem to draw some conclusion based on your sales experience? You don't even mention what you're selling, how these leads are generated, how your peers perform relative to you, or any pertinent details as to how they're analogous.

You also claim it doesn't work unless you're a college student, or live in a large city... And offer no argument as to why that is.

It seems to me like you gave up on something you never started, or if you did achieved no early success so abandoned the idea.

Every person that was in a relationship, casual or serious met a stranger at some point. Cold approach isn't some witchcraft voodoo, it's merely introducing yourself to strangers in a 'cold' context.

bethnalgreen08 · 2022-08-25T02:27:38+00:00

Sales is not the same thing as cold approach. There’s no monetary benefit, and most people understand sales people(not you) can be slime. Sales is a job that you need to perform your best. When you’re under pressure you may not get the result that you expected. With cold approach there’s no pressure, you sought after the girl at your own pace, at your own time, at your own location, and no supervisor is looking over you and pushing you to get that lady.

reddunt3 · 2022-08-25T09:29:24+00:00

It's not ineffective. You just suck at it if you can't get dates

burncushlikewood · 2022-08-25T02:29:33+00:00

I disagree, it can be done, you just need game, that's what this sub is all about, but I definitely agree it's not easy, but I have closed from cold approaches. Calling random people on the phone is annoying, it's not an attractive alpha male approaching you and interacting with you, and creating a positive experience

shusain2991 · 2022-08-25T03:21:25+00:00

Believe me online game is also waste. It just create the illusion. The most effective way is social circle game. Then Hot approach is next.

Distinct_Face_5796 · 2022-08-25T03:32:44+00:00

Online only works if you are above average looking. Every attractive guy says "have you tried tinder?" Because for them it works.

Kronuk · 2022-08-25T03:53:25+00:00

It’s a skill that can be improved

UncommonSense89 · 2022-08-25T06:33:09+00:00

In terms of your sales clients....have you tried sleeping with them...? 😜

Sure-Wish3240 · 2022-08-25T07:26:30+00:00

Cold approach works If you Don't broke both rules.

Much the same way cheesy pick lines work If you are handsome Man and result in harassement charges If you are not.

You correct that If a male is respected and loved among friends and peers his value increases for the females.

melancholichamlet · 2022-08-25T08:05:35+00:00

If you look like Tom Hiddleston or Henry Cavill, your cold approach would be very effective. Even higher if you’re funny and charming.

If you look like Peter Griffin, talk like Peter Griffin, and act like Peter Griffin, your odds doesn’t look so good.

Success is opportunity meets preparation. People often focus on improving their frequency of opportunities but not always on their preparation.

NuKidOnThBlokchyn · 2022-08-25T09:48:50+00:00

You need to factor in the compounding increase in your ability to recognise social cues and smooth over your own "pitch" or "branding".

You shouldn't be thinking about it vs cold calling sales, you should be thinking about it as market research.

Approaching actual girls you're attracted to or socially connected with would be more like cold sales.

Then I'd consider it funneling and pumping buying temperature until "closing" being sex or LTR, whatever your goal.

If you're not making micro adjustments to your pitch, you're not selling, you're spamming. Ask your existing leads what stood out to them, when they decided to make the purchase, what they liked about your pitch. This applies to your job and your game IMO.

Also: as a big user of online game, let's be honest, it's a crutch. It's there to protect you from harsh face to face rejection, which when you're aneasthetised to it, can enable you to be much more congruent with your actual personality around women.

Economy-Director9690 · 2022-08-25T03:47:49+00:00

2 dates out of 100 is VERY GOOD, also, if ur doing online dating the odds will be MUCH LESS, compared to cold approach

Jasonhardon · 2022-08-25T10:50:18+00:00

You’re one of those guys that doesn’t like to put in the work of doing cold approaches and later says it doesn’t work. You even put in a self limiting belief in there just to justify your own laziness of approaching. Online dating is mostly for shy people, people who are usually not good at socializing face to face with new people.

Repulsive-Fee393 · 2022-08-25T03:38:02+00:00

Well judging by your post you haven’t even tried it so no exp point for you buddy. Btw if you have any sort of game and macho aura about you you won’t get anywhere near 100

nevertextgoodnight · 2022-08-25T04:21:55+00:00

Sucks for you dude

atomant88 · 2022-08-25T04:34:24+00:00

yet another post from some keyboard warrior who cant be bothered to go and actually experience what hes talking about. youre wrong. but youll never know it till you try

DiscombobulatedCan8 · 2022-08-25T04:39:24+00:00

what I like to do is find a girl who is attractive and reading a book by herself. I’ve been able to approach her by asking about her book. But, I’ve never been able to say “hey thought you were hot and wanted to introduce myself” or anything along those lines because I just don’t think it’s me.. but maybe I’m wrong.. I don’t know

petkoTHEVIKING · 2022-08-25T04:46:42+00:00

There's benefits to cold approach to doing it regardless. First of all, you don't need to exclusively do cold approach. Even if you only get 2 dates, it's 2 dates on top of the attention you'd get on dating apps.

Second, cold approach allows you to flex your social skill muscles. Flirting, projecting confidence, and talking to strangers is a skill. Even if you don't get a date, being able to strike up a flirty conversation with someone is good to practice. You can apply these skills on your other dates.

JakeDaAussie · 2022-08-25T04:55:56+00:00

Keyword - sales, completely different to Meeting actual women/people. And your comparing to sending out either a call or email compared face to face contact

Yo_Techno · 2022-08-25T04:56:32+00:00

What in the fuck even is this logic?

I have a sales portion of my job and I convert 1 in every 3 or so sales. Does that mean 33.3% of my cold approaches should become dates? sex?

Become more attractive, develop your social skills and you'll get dates from cold approach.

whiplash81 · 2022-08-25T05:00:59+00:00

Telemarketing and email spamming is not the same as seduction.

"Cold approach" is that you attract by interacting.

Nobody likes telemarketers or spam. Everyone likes mingling with people they enjoy.

MA_CA_NV_CA · 2022-08-25T05:21:32+00:00

said the guy who hasn’t done 100 cold approaches.

BenNewcomb1 · 2022-08-25T05:22:14+00:00

Cold approach can work but it is harder, by far, than social circle game.

Cold approach works well if you are in a scenario where cold approach makes sense, for example, if you are new to a community or at like a comic book convention where you know everyone there has the same interests.

Even approaching women in bars is a lot easier if you build up a lot of social proof in the bar first then approach.

My preference is social circle game and if I am going to cold approach I do it by building a small social circle where I am, first.

Socialinception · 2022-08-25T06:24:28+00:00

Your math is really silly. You're randomly assuming that sales and cold approaching would have the same rate of success.

Consider that the rate of success in sales is wildly different depending on the industry and type of lead.

Why don't you actually do 100 cold approaches, ask all the ones that don't reject you out, and see what the numbers are?

Rather than deciding that you know the truth without any evidence and then spreading that belief to others.

fuzzifikation · 2022-08-25T06:35:32+00:00

Cold approach is training to talk to strangers. It's not about success. It's training to talk to strangers and to train language and social behavior, despite the inherent fear going with it.

A success is determined by a "good talk" for some 10 min.

Dense-Face-487 · 2022-08-25T06:51:30+00:00

Looking for cues to approach makes cold approach much more effective and efficient. Not as efficient as dating apps or socials media but if you approach 100 women that wanted you to approach, you would achieve more desirable outcomes.

No-Emotion-7053 · 2022-08-25T06:59:04+00:00

Not correct, I think I could get 10 dates.

It’s all about where you’re looking and your approach. Warm? What is warm?

Because your marketing department says it is? Everyone is trying to keep their job

puma085 · 2022-08-25T07:06:26+00:00

There is not THE only effective way to meet women. There is no ultmate methode.

It depends on the person and age. For guys in my age range mid/late 30s social circle game can suck like in my case. In my circle there are just couples or even maried couples with children.

Not attractive enough for online game. I also cannot get at attached to women online. It just does not click.

You are right cold approach tidious method and it can suck. But for me it is the only way.

It really sucks to be single in the late 30s after a long term relationship.

But whatever I need to try it.

For younger guys your advice might be not bad. If you people are still in their teens or twenties they chance are hight that the social circle is still growing which means potential new partners might happen.

You younglings also might have a different approach to connecting with people online.

Mezmore · 2022-08-25T07:08:16+00:00

This just sounds like you haven't actually tried it.

What's the difference between a cold approach and a sales call? Easy - you're demonstrating a HUGE amount of value very quickly when you show you have the balls to approach a woman. That level of value cannot be demonstrated with your job's sales pitch nearly as easily, because you are not selling behavior to your clients.

This is still a numbers game yes - but don't get it twisted, there is no other approach that is anywhere near as effective in getting a woman's attention, and showing her you have what she wants most.

Vancopime · 2022-08-25T07:46:43+00:00

Not saying it doesn’t have its merits, but let’s everyone ask themselves this, what kind of man sits around or loiters around a campus to cat call chicks on a schedule or cold approach on a schedule? Like really honestly. Like do you really think that lowly of yourself?

WillyWonker97 · 2022-08-25T07:49:31+00:00

Buuuhhh

Top_Client9752 · 2022-08-25T08:31:34+00:00

I think it may help to qualify that comment in terms of objectives. Are you looking for one night stands with physically attractive women, or to build lasting relationships with women you actually value beyond their appearance? The odds of cold approaches of random strangers are not in favour of the latter outcome.

On the other hand, actively involving yourself in communities (IRL) that attract women who share your values and measure up to your idea of quality gives you much better chances of connecting with women you find attractive beyond their appearance. You still need approach skills, but you waste less time harassing women you don’t even end up liking.

2022-08-25T08:35:15+00:00

Disagree. You work in sales. It is a business. People usually do not like receiving promotive emails. Dating is different thing. Also, even if you are not in college, you can meet many people by having some interesting hobbies and going to many different places and interacting with different social circles

Economy-Director9690 · 2022-08-25T09:06:56+00:00

I cant believe any person would upvote this, truly pathetic thread. This thread should be removed and OP should feel bad about himself pushing such dumb self limiting beliefs

distawest · 2022-08-25T11:18:59+00:00

Dont be preoccupied with statistics ... even one hit per week is enough

Leave away negative thoughts and concentrate on improving the product , ie yourself

fuzzyD_9 · 2022-08-25T12:09:38+00:00

has nothing to do with math and all to do with you. choosing the right people managing your state, gaming well... could be 0 could be 10 could be 30 if you're great an aligned and flowing. women aren't buying products they're buying you.

Title	Cold approach is ineffective
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	32
Comments	108
Date	August 25, 2022 1:34 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wx0zbe/cold_approach_is_ineffective/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/cold-approach-is-ineffective.1251278 https://theredarchive.com/post/1251278

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