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[–]garlopf 296 points297 points298 points 3 years ago (45 children) | Copy Link
Many girls will try to make you into an orbiter. They will get your attention and give you attention just enough so that you stick around. A lot of guys will get confused asking themselves why she shows them interest one day and not the next. This is why.
[–]R0ZPIERDALAT0R 57 points58 points59 points 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Holy shit, man, you've literally cracked the code. I'm seeing a girl that does exactly that. Drives me nuts, I didn't know what her deal was - until now. What would you suggest? Leave her and on to the next one?
[–]osavpoiss 50 points51 points52 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Yep. No point trying to get her. Unless you can play the disqualification game really well down to the point of sex.. there is no point cause once you give in they are gone and so is their interest towards you.
[–]R0ZPIERDALAT0R 14 points15 points16 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Got ya. She's coming over tomorrow. I guess I'll see how it goes and if she pulls the "Whatever, entertain me peasant" all of sudden, I'll tell her I don't want to see her again and that's that. Cheers man
[–]osavpoiss 78 points79 points80 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Dude.. don't tell her you don't want to see her again. Just don't say anything and that's that. Saying "you don't want to see her again" to her just amuses her even more and will come off a petulant child who throws a tantrum.
Believe me, I have done that so many times when I was younger and the result was always that I felt like a butt hurt kid and she got the final double dose of validation out of it.
She doesn't deserve to get the final double boost from you.
[–]R0ZPIERDALAT0R 14 points15 points16 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Fair enough. Thanks :-)
[–]Acousmetre78 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don’t express any anger or disappointment about anything she does to try to make you pay attention or be vulnerable be cool be yourself but act like she’s the fucking most interesting thing until you decide she’s not. You also have value and can pull sex off the table and there will be many others waiting. She’s missing an opportunity for an awesome experience. Be cool. Don’t ever rage or pout. Sometimes it won’t go your way but I’ve seen guys work wonders by not being baited and then suddenly the girl can’t get enough.
[–]Lazy_Guest_7759 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If she comes over by herself, stick it in. That’s your only goal.
[–]LonerStonerWolf 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Explain the “disqualification game?” Lol
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's probably for the best. If you want to be petty about it or teach her a bittersweet lesson, though, you could avoid her every time and say that you have a lot of things to do and no time for chit-chat when she tries getting your attention as when she confronts why you're avoiding her say that you don't have time to play emotional games.
[–]AvaaFaye 17 points18 points19 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup. 29f here. I can confirm.
That was me as an insecure 17-21 YO. Better at 21, but still.
It's an insecurity thing. They don't know what they want other than the attention just in case. If they don't know what they want, that's grounds to just go. That kind of insecurity is unhealthy. That kind of insecurity leads some women to cheat. I never cheated, but I'll admit, I still accepted flirtation, but didn't know how to shut it down when the flirtation from them got heavier.
That took some time for me to recognize and do. I had to learn to respect myself and others.
Create boundaries for yourself. If you still want friendship, limit interactions to help you get over her
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
What's the point of that?
[–][deleted] 92 points93 points94 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Free attention
[–][deleted] 46 points47 points48 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yep. Ego boost. Usually once you give in and give them attention they'll stop and it'll drive you crazy, lol.
[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
So i'm gonna keep doing what i'm doing. Wait til the next meeting
[–]DankCommander7 35 points36 points37 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Id just give up on her and pursue other women. Dont try to hook up with unless she comes back on her knees begging for the D.
[–]LeBrownMamba 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, go on showing your happy, fit life with other people to her. Unless she initiates and plans everything, ignore her and keep her on read. Be just as toxic and manipulative as her. And when she does plan it out, blow her off and don't keep contact.
[–]omega05 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What do you want from her?
[–]sandrahkoss 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Good observation. People who do this dont exactly realize that they are wasting their precious time and the other person involved on something they don't really care about. Life is too short for superficial relationships.
[–]ChampionshipStock870 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It drags out the amount of time they have your attention and it gives them the bandwidth to get that attention from other places (other suitors).
Essentially you’re the toy they play with every other day or so but they have a whole bin full of toys
[–]Miserable_Basil7363 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You realize women would rather have attention than an actual hook up? Attention is everything to them, hence why get all dolled up. Now you got women on only fans and Fuckin Instagram getting all the intention in the world. That’s why most dudes are completely fucked, because when you kiss their feet, they’re subconsciously finding you even more unattractive. Focus on yourself, don’t make them seem like they’re the prize, you are, and be sexual with them, someone has to make the convo sexual. Just know women spend every fuckin morning to put on makeup and look all sexy so they get hit on. Do not put them above you or act like They’re goddest. They paint their faces every morning and take shits just like us.
[–]chips_and_hummus -2 points-1 points0 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Literally dude just ask her out again. She's shown additional interest again. You asking her out forces her hand and you get your answer. If she blows you off again, then you know she's just liking the attention/not looking for something serious or casual enough to even go on a date. On the flip side she might actually be interested and say yes to the date, which is a win. I would strike while its hot, don't drag it on on your end.
[–]SleepyBeast89 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Nah, she’s doing it for attention. If you force her hand it will come off as needy and the answer will be no. Best thing to do is forget about her and focus on others. If she’s into him at all she’ll make a move or suggestion and if he plays it cool it could work out for him.
[–]chips_and_hummus 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Asking a girl on a date is not needy lmao.
[–]SleepyBeast89 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It’s not but it will come off that way when she has backed off and shown disinterest. If he asks her with the way it is now he’ll get blown off. Guaranteed.
[–]chips_and_hummus 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If she is snapping him and responding to stories, etc she is showing interest and now he is coming to a reddit forum confused. It can all be settled immediately by proposing a date again. It's very possible she was not initially into it but then changed her mind and is open now. Is that the MOST likely scenario? Not necessarily at all. However, why even waste time questioning it on his end? Just ask for the date and move on if she does not reciprocate again. Since there is a chance she DOES say yes this time, it makes no sense to not just send it. It costs absolutely nothing.
[–]Chad_Thundermember 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah. And these girls are extremely good at gauging just how much attention you need to get you hooked. Simply put, if you have strong feelings for her, you need to stay the fuck away because the temptation to allow her to manipulate you will be extremely hard to resist. If she isn't fucking you or at least kissing you, she isn't worth it.
[+]introsetsam -11 points-10 points-9 points 3 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
as if most men don’t do this lol
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]introsetsam -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
okay so you’re gonna be rude to me because you’re upset not enough girls are into you for you to even imagine stringing some along? okay
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]introsetsam 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
hahahaha man i could literally copy and paste this back to you. i’m so sorry, men are perfect and never lead people on for attention </3 i’m sorry you view women as evil
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]introsetsam 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
buddy…
[–]Chasing_Colours 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Did you forget /s ?
[–]introsetsam -4 points-3 points-2 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
no, lmao you guys are oblivious and in denial if you don’t think men usually flirt with a girl juuuust enough to keep her around. or i guess that’s only guys who can actually attract more than one girl a year?
[–]Chasing_Colours 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Nah, a guy will either want to bang you and leave or get into relationship. Never ever met a guy that flirted just to have a friend and feel validated xD
[–]introsetsam -2 points-1 points0 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
sexual attention is still attention my dude
[–]Chasing_Colours -2 points-1 points0 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Sex does not equal sexual attention
[–]introsetsam 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
you’ve clearly never talked to a man before so i’m just gonna go lmao
[–]Churroking69 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I don’t know about. I have better things to do then to string people along for my own enjoyment.
If i’m talking to someone, it’s because I actually want to date them or at least hook up with them.
yeah pretty much every man in their 20’s i know does this.
[–]Churroking69 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would say they would do it to get sex, but not attention.
[–]PsychoWorld 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That’s odd.
I guess the key to me is to meet in person. If we get along and fuck that’s good. If they’re not in person they’re not real.
[–]Matilozano96 60 points61 points62 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’d say don’t ignore her completely. Especially on campus. Say hi, talk casually, whatever.
Don’t initiate on social media unless she starts doing it first. Mirror her level of attention (or try doing her level of attention -1; that may work).
Don’t bring up meeting directly. Maybe mention your workouts or post about them, but let HER bring it up. The ball’s on her side on this one, tbh.
If she doesn’t, she’s not interested. Move on or just keep a casual acquaintance with no expectations.
Whatever you do, don’t show that you’re salty or concerned about the cancelled plans. Even better: don’t be.
[–]ef2111 72 points73 points74 points 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Women thrive off of attention. Your validation is their supply. Use social media and your phone for meet-up logistics. If she flakes and doesn't commit, don't waste your time and move onto the next one. Either she'll hit you up, at which point you need to get a meet-up on the calendar, or you won't hear from her again. Ignoring girls may get you some results, but not from all of them.
Honestly, if you're trying to set something up and she flakes or doesn't commit, don't waste your energy on her. Keep it moving.
[–]Thunderdell 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Solid.
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]ef2111 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
What about my comment was chauvinistic? When did I refer to women as "master manipulators"? What about my comment makes you believe I think women are inferior to men or deserve lesser treatment?
My comment is pretty clear. The average women feeds off of attention. If she is flakey or doesn't commit to a date, move onto the next one. I'm telling OP that his time is valuable, and he should treat it as such.
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Chasing_Colours 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So let me get this straight, you expect men to stick around indifinetly in hopes that one day she might finally go on a date with you?
If she doesn't show interest and flakes on you 2-3 times withouth a geniun reason and she doesn't try to set up a next date then yeah, why waste your time on someone who's clearly not interested / doing it just for an ego boost?
I value my time and won't waste it on someone who clearly doesn't give a rats ass about me or my time.
[–]ef2111 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Typical deflection. Can't answer simple questions. Thank's for wasting our time.
[–]Thunderdell 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Seems like you need some attention.
[–]Sleight_Hotne 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Somehow you objectify men so much that you don't seem to understand they have a life of their own
[–][deleted] 21 points22 points23 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
It only works if she’s attracted to you. If she’s not, nothing works.
[–]TimGreen_1888 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
And that - believe me - works as a filter to weed out the uninterested. A simple
“Let me know when you’re free next week to meet up?”
“I’m too busy with work to talk, but contact me in a few days and we can sort a meet up”
Then maintaining radio silence will ensure only those interested will get back.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
You are 100% correct. I have always played by those rules and it saved me a lot of time. If she’s interested in you, she’ll return your call or text and if she doesn’t, that’s your answer. I did have a mind fuck earlier this year when someone I was flirting with for awhile took my phone and put her number in it only to not respond back, but that’s the way it goes. Some women are just impossible to figure out.
[–]TimGreen_1888 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It’s a mindfuck. And I set the same rules.
Personal experience here, I have wasted weeks texting then finally asking myself what I am trying to achieve by doing this.
I told a woman I met last Tuesday at her house after we hooked up to contact me when she got back from a trip she was on. I then texted her the same next morning- she agreed. She’s been silent since Sunday. And I have seen her online.
I have my answer from her silence, but I will not contact her again. But of course be “unperturbed” if she reaches out.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
That’s a similar example of what I experienced and the only thing I can make of it is, she’s got a lot of guys trying to get inside. When the competition is so thick that she can’t give you the courtesy of a reply back, walk away.
[–]TimGreen_1888 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Perfectly put. My thoughts exactly
[–]Chasing_Colours 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This. Throw the ball into her court.
[–]tristian_lay 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ignoring girls only works if she’s already attracted to you but she has to give in at some level in order to progress forward or it’s just a game. Have fun with it and snap some gym stories with you and a random girl or somethjng
[–]ColombianNova 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No no no no no.
Show interest. Not neediness. If she likes you she will respond well from the first time.
If you didn't hit it off, then just move her to friend category and look for others.
Would you ignore your friend?
[–]kphoenix137 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Its more about the end result. How you get there can ruin or for you or make it better. If you're ignoring girls because you're actually busy, yes it works. If you're ignoring girls to play games because you're desperate and want them to like you, it will work but will probably backfire
[–]GeezRick 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It only works if she already wants you. Basically, it’s more of an amplifier than an actual cause of attraction. Most normal women don’t care for the attention of guys they don’t want.
[–]ChampionshipStock870 10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ignoring women is a risky proposal especially with online dating. It used to be ignoring girls worked pretty well because unless they’re constantly getting hit on in public, usually their choices are limited.
If you’re ignoring a girl that has 1200 matches on tinder you’re begging to get forgotten completely.
In those situations a lot of men prefer the push/pull method. You give them large amounts of attention at once, make them feel special, then you pull back. You have to make yourself unforgettable
[–]roakmamba 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Next time she hits you up schedule a date and if she comes out with some bullshit then tell her to hyu once she's figured out her schedule and do not reach out until she does and when does assume she's down to hang because that's what you stated and if she flakes again disregard her because she's just bullshitting and probably wants attention or validation.
[–]demonspawn9 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I don't know what you are into, but the type of girl that would respond to being ignored, isn't going to be the most stable person. There are insecurity issues and if they are very persistent, it's a red flag. What you have said makes me think she's the take it slow type and may think you are as well. Feel this one out, don't keep ignoring her, her response now is going to be important in determining what you are dealing with.
[–]Hot-Win-1613 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Up!
[–]tastless_chill_tonic 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
each situation is different,
make the call yourself, at the best time, and you will either succeed or fail, if failed, don't get desperate, just get learned
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Right. Im gonna go with my gut. don't have much experience but I think i got it.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
When a guy ignores me for a long time, I lose interest and move on. I like consistency because I’m that way if I’m interested and I always make it clear when I’m interested or not interested in someone that pursues me. Playing games is so exhausting but there are men and women out there that enjoy it which is a waste of energy. I don’t get it at all. 😑
[–]TimGreen_1888 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
What does the direct question of
“Let me know when you’re free to get together?” Make you feel?
If the ball is in your court and a kind of radio silence is implied until you get back. What’s going on in your mind?
I’m not talking about a text being left on read, or a call going unresponded to
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I would really like that if I have the slightest attraction to the person at all. It would really get my attention for the person for sure. I’d definitely start communicating more with them if I wasn’t already and would be honest if I’m not interested in hanging out. It would be a turn on for me but I’m pretty direct and honest so whoever is similar to me in that way is so damn refreshing. 😊
[–]TimGreen_1888 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Perfect response, 99Perfect99 😉
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
WAIT DID I WIN!? 🤣
[–]TimGreen_1888 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Well, I think we both won, 99. Give me your number and I’ll take you out for a drink next week and we’ll discuss all of this.
(Wrong platform, sorry 🤣🤣🤣)
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You’re smooth though not gonne lie!😆
[–]Longjumping-Bug-4383 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
For me it’s just the reverse. I just unfollowed the dude on Instagram and his phone number too. Look man, I’m trying to get laid and I’m already making it easy for you by setting the stage but if you still wanna play games, I do not have time and energy to invest in you, afterall it’s limited energy.
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for the perspective. So I tried the opposite, tried initiating conversation/meetup and she was very unresponsive. Moved on and then she came back and started replying to my stories and snaps. Interesting.
[–]SS117_ 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah as per top comment. She’s only giving you enough so you hang about and gives her a free orbiter. Sucks but that’s how some girls are. I’d just ignore completely/ cut her out.
[–]chips_and_hummus 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Said this elsewhere but literally just ask her out again. Force her hand. If she is still unresponsive then you have your answer. She may have changed her mind and the timing could be right so just go for it. Either outcome is good: you get a date or you know to spend energy elsewhere. I doubt dragging it on longer would ever change the outcome of another date proposition.
[–]SeaPen333 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“Still want to work out? Let me know what times you are free next week.”
[–]thirdwallbreak 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don’t ignore girls, instead I make it known that their response or presence won’t effect me.
If you’re going to work out then go do that regardless.
You want to be someone that others want to be around. But you do not want to be someone that needs other people to be around them.
You can invite people to hang out with you, but also make sure it’s not coming off as desperate.
[–]The_Entertainer217 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Kind of. This is nuanced. If you ignore her TOO much she might lose interest and just move on. What seems to work best is to be inconsistent and also work on a frame you like.
For example, I prefer when women call me over texting. So if a woman texts me, I’m in no hurry to get back to her, once in a very great while I will text right back, but hardly ever and especially not in the early stages. However if she calls me I will usually answer or call back pretty shortly after if I am able. So most women who actually want to get ahold of me know she has to call, I prefer this and it fits into my frame better. Also it’s more convenient for me because I can talk while I’m doing other things.
So yes, ignoring can work if you don’t overdo it and it seems natural and like you’re just busy. It helps a lot if you are actually busy.
This is the way. I’d call back as well - but only with the aim of asking - quickly - how things are going. And to set up the next date.
Be unresponsive to the idea of being text or phone buddies.
[–]samk002001 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Move on! She’s not interested of you but just want you to be around. You’re wasting your time
[–]bmunger718 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A man I’ve been in an exact same situation as you. Many girls are wonderful actors just because she seems interested does not mean she is unless it comes with her doing work like meeting up with you. As you get older you will be able to dissect cues of women more easier. But from experience when a women wants you she makes it easy for you. You won’t have problems seeking dates or anything she’s gonna reach out. The problem either she has a dude or just not that into it fuck it there’s always another one.
[–]Scorchyy 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've had that before with young girls, they'll even send you a snap of their face, basically fishing for compliments or attention, just ignore it completely, you won't get anything from those girls
[–]breakbelowHL 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Be direct. Tell her you think she is beautiful and that you want to be more than gym friends with her. Then tell her a time and place where you will meet her for a date. If she declines, then move on. You save a lot of effort this way.
[–]Ariannanoel -2 points-1 points0 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ask her to the event and then carry on ignoring her if you want her to go.
I wouldn’t ignore her completely though.. maybe send one text a day “hope you have a great day/ had a great day”
[+]Sinstormm -8 points-7 points-6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ignoring girls absolutely works, assuming the goal is to not talk to them. Otherwise, not so much
[–]jenkinsonfire 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That’s shitty behaviour on her end and I personally wouldn’t give her the time of day. The best thing to do is call her out on this behaviour
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes.
[–]Ribbet537 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's not necessarily "ignoring" them, ignoring is intentionally not talking to them. That's just rude. It is more like you don't have time to keep bending your schedule to them and you're just putting in as much effort as they are. If she starts talking to you talk to her, if she stops talking to you stop talking to her. That simple, it's not a game you play.
[–]Thin_Violinist 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It definitely decreases the potential imo. If it’s to save money though then if you’re young I’d recommend it. That’s what I’m doing. 💰over 🐱until I’m older and more developed as a man.
[–]chocolatekitt[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For me? Never. If a guy doesn’t talk to me, I might reach out once to see what’s up, but that’s it. I don’t chase, nor does any self respecting woman. Some younger women with self esteem issues and codependency will likely ruminate on your lack of attention, which is what I suppose you’re after, someone who is easily manipulated. Makes for a pretty irritating time, though.
[–]RedPillAlphaBigCock 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’d say when you see her in person , flirt with her , if she reciprocates , then you need to ask for the close . If it’s a no this time , leave her
[–]caesarfecit 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As a tactic? No.
Why? Because if it works, odds are she's in your orbit for the wrong reasons. Ask me how I know this.
The right question to ask is why would you ignore a girl, and why should you/shouldn't you?
The right time to ignore a girl is when you're done with her and she knows it (i.e. going no contact or nexting her) or when she's clearly crossed boundaries and won't be accountable (i.e. ghosting, flaking, etc).
The wrong time to ignore a girl is when you're trying to get to know her. There, the move is to interact with her, with purpose, and don't be needy. Don't give her your full attention until she's invested and working for it but don't hold back either unless you want to send her the wrong message. Nothing encourages a girl to play games like you playing games.
Point is, that if ignoring a girl is a successful tactic with her, either she has low self-esteem and needs to chase guys she's interested in, she's not interested enough, she's trying to play you, or she's kind of a mess and has accountability issues.
When you get really good, you can playfully ignore her, or tease her by making her work for your attention, but this requires experience to know what kind of girls respond to that well, and to know when you're going too far.
[–]OJSimpsons 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you're young enough, maybe.
[–]Striking-Panic3120 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When you give her your attention you lose keep it pushing
[–]TheTruth221 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
yeah ignoring is good
[–]ChicoBrillo 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Mm ignoring can work but not always. I think people in general are attracted to those who are in their own lane and have a sense of direction.
When you’re too available it can show that you don’t have anything going on.
Ignoring can make you appear like that person, but it won’t work that well if you don’t actually have that confidence and direction yourself
[–]Thin-Cartoonist-9485 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If yourvgay it would work well. Ignoring is usually the result of ignorance
[–]blessedbelly 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No. Be yourself, If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. If it isn’t, it isn’t.
[–]Gaydame 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A lot of these posts come down to: "This girl is playing games with me. I hate people who play games.
How do I outgame her?"
[–]Karmacosmik 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don’t waste your time and energy. Most likely you are not the only one she plays those games with
[–]thekidwhoruns 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
From my experience the ignoring" tactic only works if you've already had sex/hooked up with the girl.
Playing distant/hard to get after hooking up is what landed me my current girlfriend. :)
[–]Electronic-Thanks-84 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No, don’t do that or they will just move on to a different guy. They have many options
[–]neversleeps212 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The technical term here is breadcrumbing. She’s dropping you a little trail of breadcrumbs to keep you following after her but she’s not interested in you as a primary romantic or sexual partner. You’re really just the fallback to her backup plans.
There’s nothing wrong with continuing to stay in touch a little bit and seeing if anything further develops but don’t expend mental, physical, or emotional energy pursuing someone who, at least at this point in time, has you very much on the back burner.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
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