Gentlemen, Learn To Dance

ToxicRocketry · 2017-03-30T21:22:37+00:00

I tried it for a while, but the place I went to only had late-30's up to 50's-aged men and women, most of whom were couples looking to have fun. Plus my schedule was terrible for it. :-(

Maybe bigger cities are better for it, I don't know.

PlayLikeNeverB4 · 2017-03-30T21:38:58+00:00

I get that girls like dancing dudes, but I just don't enjoy dancing. I love singing and playing instruments, but dancing does not give me the same feeling.

Alexander_SuperTrump · 2017-03-30T20:30:24+00:00

I've always wanted to do this.

What's the cost?

Where do I find a dancing class?

rickraus · 2017-03-31T00:07:30+00:00

TIME TO PUT ON OUR DANCING SHOES BOYS

purplepilled2 · 2017-03-31T03:09:38+00:00

The thing is you have to actually want to dance. That's the problem I have. I just dont 'get it'.

iCaptainJax · 2017-03-30T21:47:50+00:00

I agree with this. If you're looking for somewhere to learn partner dances. (Waltz, Tango, Cha-Cha, Swing) Arthur Murray is a recognized name among ballroom and famous for teaching. I believe they also give a free try-this-out once lesson. To see if your interested.

j_blem5 · 2017-03-31T09:31:57+00:00

Been dancing for 2 years now (Bachata and Kizomba), and I love it. Now that I'm pretty good (not trying to brag), I get a lot of attention from the girls, whether I want it or not is up to me. But it has definitely skyrocketed my confidence in myself and as a man. Its addictive when you see results. In the beginning it can be slow, but if you persist it will open your mind to many new possibilities.

For those saying they only have old people where they dance, Great! I started dancing with older people so that I wouldn't make a prat of myself with the younguns when I did dance with them.

edit: OP where you from? London? Could do with a wingman in town!

Gman54 · 2017-03-31T17:26:29+00:00

Long time salsa and bachata dancer, dabbling a bit in west coast swing and kizomba as well. Been dancing 5 years in total so far.

It's the best thing that happened to my social life. Before that I was very insecure and afraid of touching girls. Today I constantly get complimented on how I can dance well. Through dancing I met my first girlfriend ever at the age of 25.

Even though nothing else has happened ever since (I'm 29 today), I still go out dancing once or twice a week. Made some good friends through it as well and also attended a dance festival abroad 2 years ago, which was an incredible experience.

Also, it's easier to learn the basics than it seems, I used to be so awkward and not that good when I started to, but people know that and at least in my scene, were very friendly and supportive.

Pro tip if you do decide to learn dancing: confidence is everything. If you lead assertively and with confidence, girls will flock to you, even if you only know mostly basic stuff.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-03-31T02:06:08+00:00

Alright, to supplement what OP has read:

___1: Social dancing is great for making contacts__

Social partner dancing is also great because you have a built in group of people around the world. If you travel to other countries, there will be contacts and possibly even people who'd host you. It really does open doors for you.

2: Arthur Murray & ballroom in general = No

Arthur Murray teaches ballroom and they often charge a lot, just to be part of a community that's usually older and overpriced to participate in, overall.
Most importantly, ballroom dances are rehashed versions of a group of street dances with vibrant communities. And what they did to those dances, was not pretty. That cheesy image you may have of the rose in a guy's mouth when someone says, "tango?" That's ballroom. Not the actual dance or the actual music. And they did that to every dance they absorbed into what's now called "ballroom."

3: Where to dance?

Don't know where to dance?

Step 1: Watch these videos to get a feel each of the dances.

Lindy hop
West coast swing
Argentine tango: 1. 2.
Salsa
Kizomba (Note: this video is out of focus at the beginning but clears up.)
Bachata

Step 2: do a Google search and a Facebook search for "[the dance you're interested in] + [the name of your metro area/city/town]. You don't really need to do both. The FB search will probably be better. But both searches should give you different leads on what groups are near you and where they meet.

Step 3: If there's a college or university near you, check their course listings. If they offer a 1 credit class for a dance you're interested in, take it. College courses require a little more upfront but are the best deal because of the actual rate per class and you get access to one on one help during the teacher's office hours.

Step 4: Reply to this message on the thread with the name of your area and I'll help you if possible. Or PM me if you don't want to share your location with the thread.

EDIT: Added a step about college courses.

Suavementeeee · 2017-03-31T13:55:25+00:00

Listen to this guy!

stopdoingthat · 2017-03-31T14:56:21+00:00

This guy knows what's up. Though, "not clubbing"? Laughter Out Loudly, if you learn how to move on any dancefloor, you pretty much won't have to know any other stuff to score on a regular basis.

VDKay · 2017-03-31T17:21:42+00:00

Latin & Salsa dancer reporting in sir!

I like how you comment on kino. You HAVE TO touch the other person in order to dance. I am naturally shy, but I find that hugging, touching and generally keeping your hands all over the place feels NATURAL after you dance with a girl a few times. Whereas, I got childhood female friends that I am still reluctant to hug. Bachata is essentially rubber your crotch against the other person's leg...

Dyolf_Knip · 2017-03-31T01:43:29+00:00

So fucking this. Once upon a time I went to 3 weddings and a family reunion over the course of a few months, and I couldn't dance at any of them. So I started taking lessons (swing, ballroom, latin styles), and it was the best goddamned thing I ever did. I wish I'd started 10 or 15 years earlier, before high school, even.

And when I started, I had to aspire to having two left feet. If I can learn it, absolutely anyone can. I will also be making sure all my kids can at least be comfortable out on a dance floor.

bradtwo · 2017-03-31T17:01:39+00:00

I'm out of the game. BUT Dance lessons are PERFECT for second dates. It allows you to be intimate with your partner, have fun... make a fool of yourself all while being low pressure / low impact on the girl.

easygo · 2017-03-30T21:23:15+00:00

Luckily I'm a natural good dancer. And if I can get a girl to the dance floor, it's over. But hard part is getting her there without sounding like a douche

hondaaccords · 2017-03-31T05:00:22+00:00

Salsa is not a sensual dance. It is a flirty dance, but if you are doing sensual salsa, you are doing something wrong. Zouk, Bachata and Blues dancing are sensual dances. Kizomba and Tango are intimate. Salsa and Swing are flirty and all about showing off.

Kgb725 · 2017-03-31T05:37:36+00:00

I'm uncoordinated , nervous , and scared. Me and dancing would do well to keep far apart from each other

ModuRaziel · 2017-03-31T13:45:59+00:00

This doesnt always work. As someone who took dance lessons at a well known studio for multiple years and performed in a few competitions, I can say from personal experience that it was NOT a good way to meet women (at least, for everyone).

My age was a factor, as I was taking these lessons in my mid-to-late teens, and 95% of the women around were 30+. Additionally, the moves I learned were all completely useless in a club or dance setting. Unless I was dancing with someone who at least new the basic steps to the dance (anything ballroom or latin), it was just a waste of time.

Maybe with older more established women this is something that would be helpful. With anyone under 25-30, I wouldn't bother.

__ReginaPhalange__ · 2017-03-31T09:27:37+00:00

I go to salsa classes and socials regularly. As another poster said, salsa is more of a flirty showing off dance than some of the others.

I started learning salsa with the intention of moving on to bachata. To me, bachata is way more intimate and, I guess, slightly intimidating. I like the showy nature of salsa and it's great for normalising fun, physical contact with the opposite sex without me feeling awkward. So now that I am a more intermediate salsa dancer I feel confident in myself as a dancer to go onto something more sensual.

Being skilled at salsa (and most dancing tbh) does make a guy look cooler. My instructor is insanely attractive and combined with salsa he has the ability to make every girl he dances with feel special. However, he has the added advantage of being hot even if he couldn't dance. So if you're already a good looking guy and become an advanced salsa dancer, you will be a winner. Even if you're not a 10, a guy who has put in the time and effort to sincerely develop the skill can still be attractive.

At socials if a guy asks me to dance I don't read into because it's like an unspoken rule that we're all here to dance. Salsa is already flirty and everyone is feeling relaxed and having fun, chances are it won't register if a guy is flirting with me. So you have to make sure you engage in some quality flirtation in between dances.

Of course it's way different if you're the one bringing people to a dance as a date. You can teach them basics etc and generally look good in front of them. Personally, I wouldn't enjoy going on a date to a social for a dance I was unfamiliar with if there was no taster class beforehand. I'd feel more relaxed on a date if I wasn't a total novice.

rom9 · 2017-03-30T23:46:17+00:00

I am one of the finest dancers around in my city (and I even instruct salsa time to time) and yet I have issues with girls. Lots will be attracted to you but remember that these girls are used to dancing with many men and you being a dancer or learner does not make a big impact on the social scene unless u got game and you are physically desirable to at least some extent. Danicng will however give u lots of confidence to go out there and not be afraid of things. I was much worse before dancing. Dancing has surely helped me along. But it's not something that will change things unless u tighten your game.

Romnonaldao · 2017-03-31T00:16:37+00:00

Waaay ahead of you. Love dancing

plutoniomfeld · 2017-03-31T01:08:03+00:00

Swing dancing was a mandatory thing for my school. It doesn't seem everybody knows how to do it but it's quite easy and provides enough fun.

Snazzy_Serval · 2017-03-31T13:31:57+00:00

Social dancing is something that is mostly frustrating for me. I got into it a few years ago hoping it would help me meet women. It has not.

If anything it's become a bit of tease where I get to interact and play with cute girls who have no interest in me. It's not as bad as giving myself blue balls, but it's close.

As for what dance to focus on, I'd suggest taking a Salsa lesson and a Swing dance/Lindy Hop. Then pay attention to the gender ratios. For whatever reason at my local dance hall there is far more men there at Salsa night. On Swing night there is more women.

saxoriko · 2017-03-31T14:56:46+00:00

Most girls in clubs can't dance. I only had a couple of salsa lessons, but by confidently dancing with girls in a club you already get compliments like: "wow you can dance so well".
During dancing it's easy to escalate; start out with the gril on arm's length. After a while you put her arms around your neck and dance closer. Then go for the kiss or/and isolate.

SirByron · 2017-03-31T17:17:08+00:00

I love dancing and I second. Only one point of departure. This will be unpopular but I don't like Latin music like Salsa, Bachata or Kizomba. Monotonal, diatonic music which is played one key (or chord), no more than 2 keys, and the only thing that changes is the hook. (the clave is the foundation of the latin beat). I do like Flamenco though...

TRY BOLLYWOOD DANCING instead. It is more energetic than Zoomba and one of the best cardio exercises out there. The music is Amazing, full of variation and richness and highs and lows - absolutely intoxicating.

Here is a Playlist

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqSGfwwKZ-64ImRBIjhJHYtXZ7p_LUyzf

Mr_Talent · 2017-04-18T10:31:03+00:00

Coming a bit late to the party, but I found this thread through another.

Just yesterday I went to my first ever dance class. First hour was Kizomba, 2nd hour Latin dances. I was terrible at both, but considerably worst at Kizomba... It's incredible how seeing only videos it seems so easy and like nothing, yet in the dance studio, even the simplest steps were hard to execute.

Anyway, the "crowd" was not big. 4 guys (counting me and the teacher) and 5 women. Ages of the females went from 22 to 60. I mean, it was a bit awkward how intimate Kizomba is. The girl really gets close to you and I mean boobs touching your chest close! Then you have a hand on their back and they have a hand on your chest... it was fucking awkward dancing like this with a 60 year old lady. On the other hand, with the 2 girls in their 20s it was pretty sweet :D

Still, I was very stiff, very nervous and also tired. I can't help but feel I was the worst student ever. I will start with 2h per week... lets see how it goes.

olronk · 2017-03-30T21:24:30+00:00

I've never danced before so I don't think doing it in front of a class is a really smart idea.

But sounds like decent advice and I'll look into seeing if there are any private classes that would be more personal.

AR-47 · 2017-03-31T06:32:48+00:00

I've been playing drums for 7 years now. You'd figure I can keep count just fine with swing dancing, but I just fucking can't. I wanna make girls twirl because bitches love getting twirled.

Cookiest · 2017-03-31T18:28:38+00:00

Anyone know of free salsa lessons in manhattan?

Xanarxses · 2017-03-31T18:29:43+00:00

Fuck that.

Title	Gentlemen, Learn To Dance
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	382
Comments	134
Date	March 30, 2017 7:42 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/62gal0/gentlemen_learn_to_dance/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/gentlemen-learn-to-dance.1422630 https://theredarchive.com/post/1422630

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