Honest Question: Why Are You Here?

sillymallard · 2011-12-27T08:02:04+00:00

Every decision in my life has been my choice. I have decided where to live, what to study, what type of job I wanted, what hobbies to do in my free time, what clothes to wear, what friends to hang out with, etc.

It seems so insane that people leave finding the person they will marry up to pure chance. Even worse, people time and time again end up marrying the first person that shows them sexual attraction (aka AFCs).

I want the skills to be able to choose the person I want to spend time with and eventually settle down with. I also want to have the skills to keep her attracted to me, which is the best defense against cheating and nagging, and helps to maintain a good sex life and freedom.

This is love and life happily ever after, which is completely different from what Disney tells us.

osufan765 · 2011-12-27T08:21:01+00:00

I was stuck in the friend zone for over a decade. I had a crush on a girl in 5th grade and it carried on into college. Early fall last year we hung out a lot, and it all culminated in her drunkenly kissing me one night. She apologized for doing it the next morning, and instead of doing the right thing like saying "well, no more sugar for you!" I ended up feeling crushed and got all butthurt about it, first kiss and all that jazz. I haven't talked to her much since.

With my primary love interest of the past decade gone from my life, I stumbled around blindly for the next year or so. I avoided talking to people and didn't really have many friends. I had considered just talking to people casually, like on the bus, but let a socially awkward friend talk me out of doing it. I always enjoyed looking at the women on campus, but had never really talked to them.

I went on vacation with my dad, just the two of us, and we were sitting on the beach when a girl sat down not too far from us by herself. He kept urging me to go talk to her, as she was probably within 5 years of me (I'm 21). I couldn't bring myself to do it, and the sheer disappointment in my dad's eyes, who could teach even the most advanced pickup artist a thing or two (seriously, he's some sort of wizard), was soul crushing. He couldn't believe how far the apple had fell from the tree.

I had originally joined Reddit because of r/starcraft, and stumbled across Seddit one night while I was spamming the random subreddit button. I had always sort of thought the pick up community was bullshit and cheesy, but I realized what I was doing didn't have me swimming in women, so I started reading. I quickly found out how the community is about self betterment, etc. I started reading, interpreting the text in a way I see fit.

I haven't gotten any further physically with women than I did that one evening over a year ago, but I have come further as a person. I started talking to people at bus stops, holding conversations with cashiers, and generally being more social. I get invited to parties now, and have an expanding circle of acquaintances, which are things that didn't happen before Seddit.

Between letting myself and my life hero down, I finally bit the bullet and realized I actually needed help at something. Fortunately, the old man was wrong and I'm actually skilled socially, I just had, and still do sometimes, serious approach anxiety. Eventually, it will all fall into place and I'll find someone. I still don't approach as much as I should, escalate quickly enough, and I've never tried any night game when it comes to bars and clubs. I've had some success isolating women at parties, so I'm getting there.

Tl;dr: self disappointment + family disappointment + loneliness + luck = seddit

tl;dr tl;dr: I wanna get laid.

tl;dr tl;dr tl;dr: sex.

mileshigh_23 · 2011-12-27T07:57:49+00:00

I've dealt with anxiety for much of my life, much of it being "stage fright" kind of anxiety when speaking in groups or to certain people. Freshmen year of college, after dropping out of my public speech class, I did a "fuck this" and started throwing myself at things that terrified me. I ended up starting the speech club on campus, serving as governor of the county Toastmasters organization, and got into PUA.

I'm still a far ways away from where I want to be, but PUA is one of the biggest forms of transormation helping me get a hold on anxiety. That's my story.

Zero36 · 2011-12-27T09:38:25+00:00

I've grown up obese over my whole life until I got to college. During my adolescence I would pretty much fall for ANY girl that gave me attention (which was few and far inbetween). Finally my first couple years in college I lose a lot of weight and got pretty fit. Anyways, my freshmen year in college this girl gave me a lot of attention and I literally fell for her within a month but we ended up not talking due to my EXTREME AFC behavior I adopted from my childhood. This happened again every year until this year. I met a girl who was actually attracted to me and had a lot of interest but ended up putting me in the friendzone because I was again, an EXTREME AFC. This was the final straw, I lost something that I could have had and I was going crazy not knowing why. I never really learned how to anything and had very poor game including no rapport, needy attitude, generally bad AFC behavior but what I realized I was lacking the most was Inner Game.

This made me search for how to improve my inner and outer game and I ended up on seddit/ASF/PUAblog/Tylerdurden etc. trying to become better with girls. I eventually realized that at the core of all my problems was my lack of Inner Game but more importantly self esteem. I used to have a pretty cruddy view of the PUA community but I realized its so much more than pick up lines and touching skills, its about improving yourself and your sense of self worth that your "inner being" always comes through and your confidence is automatic because it is a part of you.

Anyways ever since discovering seddit, I have started taking steps in improving my inner game and notice I push myself out there more in working on my game and I've seen myself become better and my experiences with girls improve. That's why I keep coming back, because this whole self improvement thing is a journey and all of us "brothers" are in this together.

Coz7 · 2011-12-27T14:18:00+00:00

I used to be a very social person when I was a kid, but series of events led me to be a very reserved person since the end of my pre-teen years, therefore I didn't have much sucess socially.

These events were a constantly moving home, very secretive untrusting religious parents (specially my dad), not having female friends, family problems outside of my inmediate siblings(including death threats and legal action), an evil older brother, geeky hobbies, a rocky path through college, etc; just a bunch of things that added up.

One day I was reading the webcomic XKCD and it mentioned The Game. To understand the joke I looked about it on wikipedia, and found that it's a book about getting girls. I laughed at the idea, but since I have great respect for XKCD, I thought it must be better than the other thousand of books written about the subject. So I downloaded the book, and read the first page, thinking that I would get tired quickly. It surprised me that the book was actually a story, and I love stories. So I read the entire book, and I got convinced that social interactions can be predicted and manipulated to achieve perfect results.

After 25 years of taking the good guy approach, I felt like I had done all the wrong choices, and though 'fuck it, if I have to learn to manipulate people to get laid I will'.

The things I have learned in my PUA journey have changed my social goals, as much of the mystique of social interactions and the rose tinted glasses that I used to view life dissipated. When I started, I thought about getting laid with 2 - 4 different girls, and pick one of them as a partner. Now, I want to get laid often with different girls, but I might want to keep a close group of females, might actually get a partner if I find a girl that amazes me(very very difficult at this point), or I might just keep going for getting laid often with hot girls until I die.

30vanquish · 2011-12-27T10:24:17+00:00

Got a major case of oneitis with a particular redhead. She loved Psychology, had an epic sex life (fetishes matched), gothic victorian steampunk crap, etc. I was getting lucky by being condescending (she had daddy issues and was turned on by that) but then never took bigger risks. (Stopped at Stage 1 KINO, didn't know how to act when her friend was there.) Slowly, she lost interest.
Few months later, she heads to other side of the states and ends up with a bf there (had his stuff together, whatever that means) and moved in with him.
Got into seduction after that nightmare. In the future, when an amazing woman walks into my life, I'd like to know the skills to have the best shot at attracting her.

Bout_It_Bout_It · 2011-12-27T10:38:27+00:00

Inspiration. I like the idea of people purposely changing their lives through sheer will.

Technique. I am a fucking realist. I can stand to improve my relationship with women and i am honest and strong enough to acknowledge that.

Remember most people will never ever take this first fucking step to admit to themselves that gasp! they could use some help with women. Instead they lie to themselves- i am okay just the way i am. Even those who do have an idea that they're not good with women are often too embarrassed to seek help or they hold some retarded moral high ground and feel it is "lame" to actually improve yourself in that area.

Lastly, by some stroke of luck, seddit appeals to the bs detector side of me. See, i'm a skeptic in all matters and i love ripping illusions and pretty lies. A lot of the seduction material cuts right through the heart of all the PC bull shit that has built up around human relationship behaviour (human behaviour in general). You read something like "do not lean in, do not flatter a girl too much" and it clicks because you have picked up on it through your interactions but no one has actually articulated it.

I like that a lot of the material in this was stands outside the screen of PC that everything i covered by. It is just seeing human relationships as they are.

And that is why so many people hate- it is hard for a lot of people to look at it objectively because of political correctness and because it renders women in a less flattering light than the putting the pussy on a pedestal crowd would like. Guys call it lame and cheesy (white knights defending the virtue of womanhood), girls claim it never "work" on them, it is only for bar skanks blah blah.

I remember coming across Mystery, with his silly hat and ridiculous boots and there were all these comments deriding him, the article itself was not very flattering. Well i looked at his appearance and what he had to say and i looked at the kind of people dismissing him and i decided "i think i am going to go along with the interesting guy".

2011-12-27T09:38:18+00:00

Because I suck with women, then when I came I realized I needed a major upgrade for my inner-game in order to stop sucking.

DesignMyself · 2011-12-27T15:53:55+00:00

"How am I not myself?"

After telling a friend I was into this PUA stuff, she said, "Just be yourself." I think more experienced PUAs have pointed out that that is both great and horrible advice. If I take it to mean, "just keep doing what you're doing and expect different results", then it's not helpful. If I take it to mean, "find out how to more sincerely and effectively express myself", then it's great advice.

What I learned is that I couldn't just "be myself" because I was getting in the way of myself. I was aware of what I wanted but I was not aware of the beliefs and habits that were preventing getting what I wanted it. Seddit makes me dig deeper and doesn't allow any excuses.

We really do walk around with a lot of unexamined beliefs and treat them so much like facts that we're not even aware they exist. For example, "out of your league" is a concept that we probably all internalized at some point. This PUA stuff threw that shit out the damn window. That women have to be somewhat tricked or bribed into sex is another very dangerous idea that many people treat as truth with no awareness.

Like others have said, I want to choose the women in my life. I don't want to love whoever happens to be around out of desperation. I want to value myself.

I was foreveralone before that term became popular. Then, I started facing some fears, facing some beliefs, tried some techniques, gained some knowledge, and started seeing success. Then, I got left by the girl I loved and it hurt like hell. And I had to ask myself, "Why?" Not really, "Why did she leave me?" I can ask that forever and maybe never be satisfied or confident in the answer. I had to ask myself, "Why did it hurt so much?" Why was someone else's opinion of me so important? I'm still digging at that one. The world is small and intimidating when you're afraid. The world is a big playground when you're not. I want to play.

ZorbaTHut · 2011-12-27T14:19:20+00:00

I find human behavior fascinating and enjoy learning about it.

2011-12-27T10:36:36+00:00

tl;dr I don't want to deny myself something that will make me happy.

I grew up in poverty. I have lived where I am used to denying myself nice things my entire life, socially, financially and even mentally beliving that I didn't deserve it.

I am used to sacrificing my own self for the betterment of others, ever decision I made was influnced to better the life of my mother. She basically raised me to care for her, and never for myself. As a child, I wasn't allowed to go out, have non-Chinese friends or even play video games except for a few hours every week. I wouldn't call myself an AFC, I would call myself a bitch.

I rejected those thoughts when I took psychedelics. I realized that I was socially stunted, I am still years behind everyone else who was social (I'm at least good enough to understand more social cues. It used to be so bad that I didn't care about awkward situations like people yelling at each other and me being in the same room just chilling). I liked girls but was used to thinking of them as 'greater beings' and something I didn't deserve.

I see cute girls I wanted to meet. Talk to. Have fun with. Always denied myself that because I was used to feeling undeserving. Read the game, knew how to get them. Didn't change the fact that I was only parroting stuff I read. I didn't feel it, I just knew what to say. It didn't help.

Now I am on the road to recovery. To gain what I feel will make me happy.

ROCKSTARseduction · 2011-12-27T13:21:12+00:00

It's my job, I do this for a living. I also see myself in a lot of guys and I just genuinely want to help them out. I know where I've come from and I'm very aware of how long and hard that road can be, so if I can help someone, even slightly, is really rewarding for me to see them, for a lack of a better word, blossom into a social, outgoing, confident person. This is what drives me to push myself and my employees.

Needless to say, this is my passion and what drives me on a regular basis, I just managed to get to the point where I can pass this skill onto others and if you would have asked me where I would have been 8-9 years ago when I was first getting into this, it would be the last thing I would say I would ever be. At the same time I wouldn't do anything different, from the way i grew up to the mistakes I made along the way.

italkinriddles · 2011-12-27T14:44:08+00:00

The pure psychology. I've always been able to see right through people and analyse situations. The human mind is an endless fascination, and human interaction, on unconscious basis, stands out for me for some reason, especially the seduction part.

Of course it's also very practical.

WolfInTheField · 2011-12-27T15:37:19+00:00

I'm here because I'm not getting laid. But that's not all.

While I've made tremendous improvements in confidence, happiness, and (I hope) personality, I still have a long road to go in personal devlopment. I was a needy, geeky kid in high school, and now i'm a cocky, geeky kid waiting for a study. While this is a lot more comfortable, and allows me to focus on artistic development as well as other forms of soul-searching, it's not the place to be yet :P

Honest question, honest answer, I'd say.

Edit: Oh, also- urge to omnipotence, thus urge to be able to control other people. This probably is the subconscious urge, springing from existential angst, that drives me to explore these things in the first place. Seeing as how I'm still held back by my social decency and my conscience, I'm not really bothered by this though.

urfaselol · 2011-12-27T09:21:33+00:00

My end goal is to get a girl who's the full package (gorgeous, smart and great personality). Sadly there's nobody in real life I can emulate so I came to the internet and the seduction community.

Find answers where nobody I knew in real life knows. How to get better with girls, social skills, confidence. General male issues that is never talked about within a group of friends who hates to admit they suck with girls and something is wrong with them.

StraightEdgeRazor · 2011-12-27T09:52:14+00:00

Abstractly - I want to lead a life filled with interesting conversations, exciting and interesting people, and ever evolving challenges, experiences, and constantly pursue excellence in all it's forms. Charisma facilitates this lifestyle in a way few other skill sets are capable of, making it very worth the investment.

Concretely - I work in an industry where connections are everything. These skills mean a great deal to forwarding my career, along with bringing new and interesting people into my life.

puaqueso · 2011-12-27T13:00:23+00:00

I think seduction just fascinating from a social sciences perspective. As an engineer, I've always been obsessed with how things work. How are problems solved? What lever can I push to get xyz outcome? Studying, understanding and practicing seduction is developing in the art of attraction, which allows me to develop and articulate a life philosophy of giving instead of taking and abundance instead of neediness. Who wouldn't want that?

2011-12-27T13:33:17+00:00

I was hurt by a girl when I was younger, and developed unhealthy beliefs that success with women was the only way I'd feel good. I've since gotten over that, but it's still a great community.

redditorfor16days · 2011-12-27T14:05:14+00:00

i want to meet someone i actually love and like and enjoy and am really really attracted to. i know that those things aren't constantly perceptible, as humans are fickle creatures, but i'm pretty antisocial, and allowing women to select me hasn't gone great.

i also want to just talk to people, male and female, and i learn interesting things about humans in seddit.

magicroot75 · 2011-12-27T14:24:56+00:00

My religion (Catholic) claims to be about love and responsibility, yet there are so many of us out there just waiting around for the right girl to fall into our laps. PUA is a great way to start sharing yourself with the women around you who are in real need of love. God make us naked and innocent, ready for some lovin'. Nowadays everybody thinks you gotta be all buddy-buddy with girls. Nope, thats absurd. Women were created to be our sexual partners.

anupthehipster · 2011-12-27T14:51:17+00:00

Since I was sixteen (two years ago). I found that growing up in an all boy school has somewhat decreased my social interaction with women. At the time Neil Strauss's book seemed like what I had been looking for. About halfway through I put the book down and learn't nothing from it. However, what I did learn from his book and from various other places on the internet is that, if a woman is interested she will indicate it to you in some form. From there you have to make your move.

Why subscribe to /r/seduction? To pick up witty lines I can use in my conversation from day to day.

2011-12-27T15:52:59+00:00

Dating has been a hobby for me since puberty. I'm 32 now. I read through Neil Strauss' book and loved it. I came to the community to learn and share what I've learned from my experiences.

tyrannosaurus_dude · 2011-12-27T18:40:23+00:00

I'm here for those nights where you just feel you have a mind-blowing connection with someone, where you're on that same page and both think the other person is awesome. The nights when you meet a dozen new girls at a party and get them laughing and they get you laughing and you feel like all the possible paths going forward are amazing ones with amazing people.

It's also so I can just be a more complete, mature, independant person - I don't like feeling helpless or that the world is out of my control. That's the way I feel when I don't have confidence in my social skills.

I guess shel silverstein put it best, I can relate to the triangle who "roughs out" his edges: http://osorhan.com/bigo/index.php

2011-12-27T18:52:37+00:00

This community has improved me. I'm a much better lover, and far more attractive as a result. There have been some great tips on moves that will make a girl want you so bad, and there have been great tips on things to do that will make a girl want to be with you more.

Now that I'm single again I've taken a lot of the advice that is very commonly thrown around here and yesterday I assumed attraction and asked a girl for her number. Didn't get it, but I felt like a champ for not passing up the opportunity. I had passed up so many opportunities years ago when I was single.

graffiti81 · 2011-12-27T19:15:15+00:00

Because someday I'll stop hating myself and this is a good place to start after that.

2011-12-27T21:47:29+00:00

I'm finally able to be a fly on the wall overhearing the shit that guys only talk about when girls aren't around.

2011-12-27T22:03:37+00:00

I discovered this subreddit, thought it was an interesting curiosity, then forgot about it. Then, I lost the attraction of a woman I was growing to love in a dramatic and hurtful turn of events. I was devastated by my failure to make it all the way to the bedroom with this beautiful woman when she was so clearly attracted to me at first. Then I started reading this sub with a vengeance and realizing all of my horrid AFC mistakes. It was cathartic and infuriating to relive the previous few months of my live in light of your simple but tested knowledge. When an experience is traumatic, it stays fresh just long enough that you can remember every little detail.

I've been Sedditing for about about a year now. I crunched my numbers the other day and they impressed even me. I could have never imagined how much sex and how many great connections I would make by studying PUA.

2011-12-28T12:11:44+00:00

I don't really like the philosophy of this place, but I like that everyone here is saying things to boost my confidence!

backbitting · 2011-12-28T15:27:22+00:00

i hit Random reddit. after trolling this area i have come to learn a few things.

Once you removal all the douchbagness from the posts, the advice really boils down to this

Be friendly, fun and playful
be honest
don't let a rejection stop you. think positive
be confident
talk to women as many women as you can/ would like
be as good looking as you possibly can -dress well and be clean
try to fuck as many bitches as possible. *i think its sad men are soo focused on getting it in.

rfu12 · 2011-12-27T12:55:33+00:00

I'm a teen. I got rejected and got pissed and the internet gave me a helping hand and now I'm here. :D

iznou · 2011-12-27T08:02:18+00:00

I'm a masochist.

sayn · 2011-12-27T16:29:24+00:00

When I first started my PUA journey 4 years ago, I just wanted to be better at talking to everyone and I wanted to gain that 'I don't give a fuck' mentality that I admired so much. Today, I can safely say I've come a long way.

With that being said, now that I'm much better with people and give less of a fuck what people think, I just wanna have some fun with some beautiful women.

shelostcontrolagain · 2011-12-27T15:46:00+00:00

Long-term; live the life I want to live full of joy and great people that I can converse with on an emotional level

Short-term; have fun and experience great stuff with hot girls

Mitogi · 2011-12-27T16:55:31+00:00

When I came on this subreddit for the first time, I was pretty amazed with all the information. I always had decent game, but I wanted to take it up a notch. more importantly, Most of my friends are REAL AFC's who need someone to have their backs. so I read most of the stuff here, and tought them what I know. I'm not saying i'm not using it for my own benefit as well, (because hey! we're all guys right let's just be honest about this) but mostly I now see what my friends could improve

theubernoob · 2011-12-27T17:50:23+00:00

I like giving advice. Once in awhile I'll see something that really strikes me and throw it into the mix when I go out. I also like to argue about some of the shit that gets discussed here, particularly the stuff I feel promotes douchebaggery instead of self improvement.

glassuser · 2011-12-27T22:02:37+00:00

Mine? I am absoltely appalled by the divorce rate nowadays. I love hearing stories about couples who stay together well until the point they're old and wrinkly. But that's not all.

That's pretty much what got it for me. Realizing that, and hearing from people with successful marriage that you don't stop courting your wife after she becomes your wife. I wanted to know how to make her girly-bits tingle, even after she's known me for forty years. I want to know how to keep her on her toes in that good way that she'd look forward to seeing in the next twist. Yeah, learning how to more effectively date around is fun, until I stumble across her, but keeping marriage endearing, exciting, and interesting is when the show really starts.

2011-12-28T00:10:45+00:00

I just want to get laid and meet a girl.

2011-12-28T00:38:50+00:00

I have a huge problem with oneitis. I've had girlfriends since I was 4, but as soon as I lose one, I rebound, and get stuck with the first woman to show interest for the next few years. I become infatuated instantly. And then I realize who they really are a few months later, and then try and find the balls to break up, until she breaks up with me for whatever reason.

My past 2 girlfriends have been not the brightest of women. And that bothers me quite a bit. Intelligence matters much more to me now than ever before. I need to find a woman who can match me in intellectual discussions (shouldn't be that hard to find), and someone who actually likes some of the same stuff I do. My last girlfriend absolutely hated video games, because her ex was a WoW addict. I just got a job in the video game industry. And our tastes in music, movies, books, and nearly everything else were pretty dissimilar.

Basically, I need seddit, not to get laid, but to find someone I'll actually be compatible with. And to kill my oneitis.

Wavedasher · 2011-12-28T00:54:28+00:00

Why? Because I want to improve myself. Better myself. I'm tired of being an AFC. I am determined to get better at this and am confident that I can. Sometimes though, I need help/guidance/encouragement. That's when I come check out seddit.

As for why I want to improve myself? Well, for a long time in my life I thought that what you started off with is what you ended up with. I realized only recently that my fatalistic way of thinking wasn't true. In addition, I was beating myself up because I was screwing up my interactions with women and friendzoning myself, even when I had opportunities to do better. Now I've realized that trying to improve myself >>>>>> beating yourself up by tons.

Really, reddit is amazing. I only discovered reddit a few weeks ago and it's already provided me with tons of great advice.

coralto · 2011-12-28T02:05:29+00:00

I'm a girl who wants to get better with inner game / socializing. Places like /r/depression and /r/selfhelp or /r/socialskills aren't that helpful because they are mostly populated with people who are bad at these things. Seddit is unique because it encourages FR's and a general badass you're-in-charge attitude towards life.

It's also fun to see how hard y'all try to get sex, when I can get sex whenever I want, but what I actually want is better friends and guys that are awesome instead of scared most of the time.

sadpuanda · 2011-12-28T02:10:05+00:00

Unti recently had an extroverted girlfriend, who could make small talk with a deaf and dumb person, I always managed to get chatting easy but I never really made the approach or carried the awkward moments.

So now im hear not necessarily to get laid, more to better myself, become less introverted and more extroverted, coz really wallflowers r boring as shit. Just want to develop a confident and positive mindset to get out, talk to people, meet people, expand my stagnating friend circle, and if a girl is dtf well thats just the icing on the cake

2011-12-28T09:39:52+00:00

I was raised by parents who knew nothing better but to beat her kids as a punishment. My parents were both religious people and they went out of their way, through force, to make us study everyday. I grew up in an elementary school where everyone thought I was retarded or something of that sort because I would act in this dumb and goofy way which no one really liked but it got their attention.

As for friends, I had a best friend in 2nd grade who was just as weird as me but he moved. I then made a best friend in 3rd grade but I ended up moving. I was always the smart one in elementary school. Always getting those good grades so I can be a good boy. In middle school, I moved to a new area and I really didn't know anyone there. So, I made the choice of speaking only when spoken to. That didn't turn out well as I didn't speak much during middle school. Halfway into my 7th grade I made an awesome friend and we did awesome stuff together. However, a couple of months later, he had to move too. I didnt talk to anyone after that. In highschool, I hung out mostly in the library, starting up small chat with the people who would sit at my table.

There was one girl that I liked in high school but I had no chance of getting her. I spent my entire time in highschool rotating between porn and video games. I rarely slept since the only time I got to do both was during the night, where I pretended to do homework.

To be completely honest here, I had this messed up smile. It was those awkward smiles that people knew would only come from an awkward person. I had my first real smile during my junior year of highschool. I kept touching my face that day, feeling the muscles that made a real smile. I practiced everyday after that. I really started talking to people during the end of my junior year.

I'm now a junior in college and I'm still ironing out the kinks. I've done ridiculous things in college in terms of social exploration. However, I still lived in my head. Being quiet all those years, those thoughts really take a hold of you. This past semester, I smoked alot of weed. I smoked enough to learn how to live in the moment. And here I am now, learning something new everyday.

I've read Anthony Robbins' book Awaken the Giant Within. It's a good read. It has really helped me so far. I'll continue to grow into the person that I want to be soon enough.

tl dr: I didn't talk much to anyone till I reached college and now I'm undoing the damage.

chicken_hugglets · 2011-12-28T15:26:28+00:00

Haven't kissed anyone in four years, obviously a bit frustrated.

acconrad · 2011-12-28T21:32:39+00:00

Not sure if this is the "right" reason but here goes:

I got out of a relationship 8 months ago with a woman I thought I was going to marry. We certainly talked like it was going to be forever. After that I was pretty much in a stone-cold depression, and felt like my life was never going to recover (I'm 26).

I'd read a bunch of stuff similar to seddit over the years, but it never really stuck cause it seemed so hokey and, well, mean. Plus, I was still getting "success" - and by that I mean never going more than 3 months without a girlfriend...which, in retrospect, was because (A) I hated being alone, a factor of having 0 confidence and (B) I'm fairly attractive, so pretty much every girlfriend I've ever had has been via the woman approaching me / someone introducing us. After this last girlfriend, I started to question a lot of things, and I wondered if my "successes" were truly success or I was just a creature of habit, destined to find the same broken women. I didn't want to live like that anymore.

So within the past few months I've actually put this stuff into action, bit by bit. I'm not where I want to be yet, but mentally I'm worlds better than I've ever been in terms of confidence, social anxiety and being comfortable being on my own / not in a relationship. Until I find that person I can grow old with (like the OP), I'll keep working until I make it work - and I want to make it work so bad because my dad wasn't really there for me, and I never want to be that kind of father.

Callypo · 2011-12-27T11:38:05+00:00

Actually what brought me here is a good ladyfriend of mine. well.. more the "care" of her and how I could use the techniques here to try to seduce her.

Let's call it a bet, if I were to seduce her, i'd fuck her brains out, if not .. well then no sugar for her.

What I found is more than simply pick-up-lines, what i've found here is a guide to a completely new lifestyle. I'm occasionally looking here to watch people talk abotu inner game because actually that's what's most infulencial on the person standing in front of me: my inner self. How do I think of myself? what do I think?

Everything is clearly visible to the eyes of someone who's familiar with the inner game.

Why is it concerning me? Well, i'm a good speaker, i know how to befriend people... but I am struggling with the aftermath: how to get a person to care for me more than the time we hang out? how to talk to her afterwards? What to do to be popular, without being a total dickwad?

This are the questions I realize I have now, thanks to seddit.

What happened with my ladyfriend?

I realized that me trying to seduce her would ruin our friendship. I'm kinoing her sometimes to try out the effects and keep her attracted not only to my friendish side but to show her she's dealing with a man, not only a friend.

No sex happened.

adriens · 2011-12-27T19:19:25+00:00

Me man, me like woman.

rmbarnes · 2011-12-27T21:26:20+00:00

I want to fuck more women / hotter women.

Title	Honest Question: Why Are You Here?
Author	ShowcasePUA
Upvotes	37
Comments	65
Date	December 27, 2011 7:28 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ns2a9/honest_question_why_are_you_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/honest-question-why-are-you-here.1326235 https://theredarchive.com/post/1326235

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