IRL vs Tinder (and dating apps in general)

ImmodestPolitician · 2020-06-02T17:20:48+00:00

Women get more judgemental when presented with many options.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1948550619866189

Illimitible · 2020-06-02T17:29:36+00:00

IRL is streets better - scrap tinder

muff_marauder · 2020-06-02T19:30:29+00:00

I've never been right-swiped by an attractive woman on Tinder and yet women run up to me to ask for a dance in bars... very confusing.

JRSMITH31 · 2020-06-02T21:25:13+00:00

IRL tinder is for girl validation only and the occasional date from a low self esteem 6 or 7 that’s just happy to get attention ! unlike the really hot girls who are always getting hit up

DD780 · 2020-06-02T17:21:04+00:00

It is a known fact that the quality of the girls that you can meet online is drastically lower than the girls that you can meet in real life, it's the logic of the dating sites.

BigKevonBev · 2020-06-02T21:13:58+00:00

I’m dry as fuck texting but can hold lengthy and in depth convos in person. This is a bit of a pain in the arse because it seems everyone and their dog is on tinder/snapchat etc. Not my bag personally

lululenox · 2020-06-02T21:23:34+00:00

I work part time as a resident DJ at a college bar and meet most my women there, recently had to resort to tinder because of bars being closed from covid and I can tell you the quality and quantity of women I get off tinder are NOTHING compared to meeting them IRL. Like 3-4 times worst

IamNotKirkCousins1 · 2020-06-02T19:16:23+00:00

Atm dating apps are the primary way for random interaction. When bars open up again, do it irl. You’re results will be exponentially better

SlavinatorM · 2020-06-02T20:40:53+00:00

What annoys me about dating apps is that for every woman there are like 10 guys. Just last week I had the situation that a girl wrote me first (bumble), gave me compliments, I invited her to a date, she accepted first, proposed an actity and time to meet up, then rescheduled it the next morning and then told me she can't make it in the evening, then ghosted me and unmatched me a few days after it. It's just so damn frustrating, because you're kind of happy you're about to go on a date but then some other guy on the app got priority number one and you're done.

(However, if you think about it, it's just how Online Dating works in general, men act probably the same way haha)

1keentolearn12 · 2020-06-02T17:20:43+00:00

Yea agree. I’ve wondered if I’m just not photogenic.

iamozone206 · 2020-06-02T21:45:32+00:00

Dump dating apps. Unless you're willing to pay for the subscription, you're gonna be disappointed. Better to save the money, and meet people IRL.

Pls, people online are only showing you their curated content to make themselves look as best as possible, meaning, you're not seeing the real person, just a caricature of themselves.

IRL, I can see if you dig for boogers and eat them versus a gaggle of instafilter photos

Radicalmattitude1 · 2020-06-03T02:29:05+00:00

Tinder strips the intricacies of seduction and attraction to 9 pictures and a 500 character bio. If you do well on tinder it’s because you’re good looking, not because you have game. If you don’t do well on tinder but you date attractive women in person, you are probably not that good looking but have great game.

cooooook123 · 2020-06-02T20:58:23+00:00

Tinder is a time kill.

grack_slacker · 2020-06-02T20:21:40+00:00

It could be your pictures but probably not. My past girlfriends and the last girls who were interested in me were solid 8s and maybe 9s. The girls I match with on tinder however are always 6s and maybe the occasional 7 it makes me feel good that I’m not the only one with the problem lol. It’s just been tough tho because with everything that’s going on I can’t meet women irl right now.

careago_ · 2020-06-02T21:17:50+00:00

IRL is easier, better - everyone is online, and you're expected to outwit, outpun and be more attractive then their previous match. You also have to compete with other time absorbing apps such as instagram, fb, etc.

I find it isn't bad to have a good generic opener paragraph, great photos of yourself and watermark the photo with your insta.

I have people randomly add me and it's always a fun conversation, if they ask "did you match on me too?" just say you deleted the app but you're glad you met, etc.

The pics though are 100% marketing puff and need to be spot on. The biggest mistake is people think they're marketing to themselves, but no you're marketing to a generic audience of same age women. What attracts them, what do they like, what do they relate with and what do they want? How do you match up/ what is your brand or identity.

That's the tricky part but once you ace it, the matches keep on coming and then it is an issue of time mangement.

2020-06-02T21:42:36+00:00

IRL for sure! I recently deleted tinder

TwoTomatoMe · 2020-06-03T01:59:50+00:00

Some good points made here. In my experience with dating apps I can tell you that once a woman knows that you’re a 1. normal dude who 2. isn’t an asshole, it’s a huge relief and that’s all it takes for them to not regret showing up for a date. In real life women can pick up on that quick VS setting up a date on Tinder. I know the same goes for me VS tinder and real life. That’s why when they say “it’s important to never rate your looks on your success rate on dating apps” it’s because it’s fucking true (Trust me!). So if you really want get the most from dating, use Tinder and have some kind of activity that gets you out of the house once a week to meet other people, like coed soccer, softball, axe throwing, find something.

KillYourInnerLoser · 2020-06-03T05:50:06+00:00

If you wanna get better at Tinder, follow this.

quickjump · 2020-06-02T21:32:31+00:00

When you realize that 90% of chicks are hideous under their makeup (sorry but true) you won't care about impressing them, nor should you. Don't get caught slippin over photoshopped pictures. GO IRL, even then it ain't safe.

jimmychango1 · 2020-06-02T19:54:06+00:00

Thought the topic said Ireland vs Tinder... hm

Alex_O7 · 2020-06-02T21:35:44+00:00

I think that dating app like social media game should be only a side way to know more women with respect to IRL approaches.

Personally I didn't dislike at all using dating app (even if I'm not a huge user and currently didn't have a profile on them for years now). I think they could be helpful to develop chat game, and also even if girls are not that good as the one you can get IRL you can still enjoy their company and grow in both experience and abundance mentality.

So I would say: 1 real life, 2 social media, 3 dating app. Not a priory excluding any of them (even if with lockdown measures the 1st isn't that simple).

Redditorsheaven · 2020-06-02T21:45:19+00:00

I don’t understand how people are becoming “superior” IRL, I don’t even yet know how to succesfully get girls irl specifically if you live in a country that does not have good nightlife and only have high class restaurants (with many cute girls) and coffeeshops.

DonMacorli · 2020-06-03T08:41:33+00:00

Nope. I am terrible at both.

nearedge · 2020-06-02T22:24:43+00:00

On tinder/bumble I swipe left on profiles without text or emojis profile. I have a higher self worth to swipe on bots and self absorbed profiles. That being said I'm now dating a smoking hot dancer I met on bumble. But full disclosure, I already knew her and had her number but she was seeing someone else and we reconnected back after we swiped on each other through bumble, she had an emoji profile but I guess I gave her a pass because I already knew her.

jxcartier · 2020-06-02T20:21:45+00:00

Always IRL.

Dominus-Prime- · 2020-06-02T21:31:12+00:00

Getting girls numbers? What is this, 1990? Don’t harvest numbers. Give them yours

impendinggreatness · 2020-06-02T22:52:59+00:00

I have literally never been turned down by a girl irl when I asked for her number

over tinder I find it hard to keep the conversation going to the point where I ask for theirs

The physical chemistry aspect matters way more to me than others I think

purple-cockroach · 2020-06-02T23:21:00+00:00

There is a sub there people make a opinion on each other tinder pic to improve it

fakeit-tilumakeit · 2020-06-02T23:58:02+00:00

There’s a lot more boxes to be able to check right away when online. If a woman sees a person irl it takes time to actually figure out those boxes. It’s a smaller pool. You look like a much bigger fish in the bar

johnny_hamilton · 2020-06-03T06:08:24+00:00

You are preaching to the choir, OP! I've experienced the same exact thing. I do great approaching but don't do in enough volume to have sustainable prospects. And I've connected with some very beautiful girls by meeting them in person.

Where it's easier to have abundance in dating apps, but the quality is pretty dang low.

Hang in there, buddy!

mavad91 · 2020-06-03T08:11:42+00:00

It's an even worse time to be an unattractive guy... online has skewed things so terrible against people like me, it's ridiculous. And I do not have very high standards when it comes to looks at all.

evenifitdoesntmatter · 2020-06-03T09:11:41+00:00

I look a lot better in person and have a more attractive personality, too. Compared to online curated dating profiles and the options women have there, irl I rank a lot higher for my market and it's not even close. So I think it would be common for men to do better irl and women to do better on apps. And I observe this, too, as I see female friends (cute w/ good personalities but 5s or 6s at best) match with 100s or 1000s of guys and wonder why they don't get beyond 1st dates.

sweetkandie · 2020-06-03T12:00:58+00:00

As a girl, I give guys IRL way more chances than online. This is because irl, I get a feel for his personality and fall for him as a person. Once I’m attracted to their personality everything they do, including their physical appearance, becomes attractive to me.

On dating apps (1) I can’t get a feel of his personality, even video chatting because it’s not the same as a face to face interaction. (2) this means it’s harder for me to gradually fall for him so it’s not as compelling as a guy I would’ve met IRL. (3) hard to trust guys online anyway, probably messaging dozens of other girls. (4) there are more options of people online, therefore we become pickier when it comes to appearance. (5) I also don’t trust meeting up with guys on dating apps in real life because I’m a woman and scared of getting taken advantage of.

Looksmax123 · 2020-06-03T19:44:25+00:00

Dating apps have destroyed my self-esteem. Don't really have the wherewithal to date IRL. I feel like if I get rejected on the app I'll basically get rejected IRL.

I'm not sure though, part of me doesn't believe in things like women "detecting" someone's vibe or energy or whatnot - it doesn't make sense to me that they (and them alone for some reason) have these sort of telepathic abilities.

jpglhh · 2020-06-02T19:11:08+00:00

Sorry, what is IRL?

JonyKenedy · 2020-06-03T18:49:56+00:00

I tested tinder and I did not liked it as it whose location based, to change location you need to pay money, after that I tested a lot of dating apps most of them generally are "free" but after you chat not much you need to pay. One week back I found MeetKing app now I'm using it one week and did not find any vips, or coins if anybody wan to try this https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=net.meetking.android

na7oul · 2020-06-02T21:43:15+00:00

Tinder isn't good and even irl sucks. I don't like the concept of seduction basics, seems like a job interview for guys

Title	IRL vs Tinder (and dating apps in general)
Author	alpsman321
Upvotes	390
Comments	140
Date	June 2, 2020 5:05 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/gvb75u/irl_vs_tinder_and_dating_apps_in_general/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/irl-vs-tinder-and-dating-apps-in-general.1496667 https://theredarchive.com/post/1496667

Comments