So self improvement is preached here. But at what point are you good enough?

VDKay · 2022-04-19T14:36:54+00:00

at what point are you good enough?

Right now. Yes, you read that right: Right now you are good enough to start approaching and working on your social and flirting skills. Self-improvement is something you do in-parallel with game, and not before that. In fact, improving your social and flirting skills is part of self-improvement

norwegiandoggo · 2022-04-19T13:35:08+00:00

You should improve yourself all the time. And you're also always good enough all the time. These two are not opposing concepts even though it seems that way at first glance.

You can be the best in the world, and still look to improve yourself. What drives a desire to be better is not because you "don't feel good enough". It's because you enjoy the process of improving an learning. You are born good enough. You improve yourself because it's fun.

Do self improvement for fun. For enjoyment. For learning. Self-improvement is not supposed to be a final cure for self-worth issues. You were born worthy. Self improvement is just adding onto the inherent worth you already have. Like a billionaire adding another million to his worth.

Then-Recording6836 · 2022-04-19T13:53:17+00:00

Underrated problem. It's difficult to overcome.

You become the person you wanted to be, the person who you thought would be void of insecurities. And then you realize, you have a whole new set of insecurities.

I think the only answer lies in acceptance that we will always feel this way. Life is short and it's our responsibly to rise above this. Enjoy today. Self love and action in the face of insecurity.

Canadian-Seductioner · 2022-04-19T13:46:54+00:00

Once you've achieved an abundance mentality, are able to attract/seduce multiple women at the same time, and not give a shit when you lose any one of them for any reason.

hagakurejunkie · 2022-04-19T18:06:35+00:00

You either move forward or you move backward. You are never "enough" or else you go stagnant.

Granted, going from a fatass loser to a ripped guy who has decent game will get you 95% there.

But you'll spend the rest of your life working to achieve that last 5% and you should because that's the game of life.

For example, I've been in muay thai for about 20 years and not a week goes by that I don't learn a new way of doing things.

But don't sit inside and just do situps and read PUA books, go outside, live your life and perfect your life in the process.

DrTommySalami · 2022-04-19T23:24:16+00:00

Never good enough. Thats a losing mindset. Always push to be better. Till they bury you. You can always be better then you are. Why not strive to the best possible version of your self. Life is a gift. A friend of mine died a couple days ago. Thats the type of person he was. Balls to the wall, humble ambitions and kind. Never settling. Always pushing. Puts things in perspective. When you look back what will you remember. How will you judge your actions and path? Being good enough like you say and pushing to be better are different. You’re always good enough. Its inside of you. You’re always enough. Good enough to chase your passions, live with fire, become your ideal self and more. Women come and go. Always. Learn to love yourself by respecting yourself, your time and body by constantly treating it like a fine automobile. Lots of maintenance, polishing and when necessary punching the gas and shooting the gap (even when ill-advised). If you can master that dance, of living on the edge at 7000rpms (literally and figuratively)…. you’ll have to beat women off.

Whats more is you’ll be a man in every sense of the word — and when you walk past a mirror and say “there goes a bad mother fucker” ….

you’ll actually believe it.

Stay hard gents.

VorpalPaperclip · 2022-04-19T13:55:19+00:00

Its about achieving something and that builds self esteem and self worth. Every time you grow or conquer something, even something small, you feel valuable and that makes you more confident and that….makes you attractive!

intensely_human · 2022-04-19T14:11:35+00:00

Finding yourself good enough is the trap.

Consciousness is painful, and exerting oneself toward a goal takes the pain away.

Nothing is more conducive to suffering than consciousness without a goal.

So self improvement is not a trap. It is the way out of the trap. The way to suffer in the trap is to declare to yourself “I’ve done enough, just gonna consume what I’ve created so far” and to spend the rest of your life attempting to consume more than you create.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a goal that keeps increasing each time you reach it. Self improvement is not some miserable thing. It’s a way of life, and it’s a good one.

caesarfecit · 2022-04-19T16:50:05+00:00

You're good enough when you're not thirsty. When you can be happy alone and you're on your purpose.

When you can enjoy the company of women without letting your dick take over. When you see the "hold my drink" scam coming because you haven't got tunnel vision.

When you feel comfortable expressing a healthy and calibrated sexuality that's neither imposing nor timid but feels right to you.

When you find yourself deciding that some women are better as friends than as love interests.

When you run game because it's fun, and not for any other reason.

To me, the root of all healthy masculine behavior is psychological self-sufficiency. To be able to be happy alone, to disagree with others, to neither be a bully nor a sheep.

You're good enough when you're good enough for you and you alone. When you can meet your own standards for yourself in your own life. Then everything else is just fine-tuning and window dressing.

Trying to run game when your self-esteem is a mess is like trying to play competitive team sports when you're out of shape. You can still play especially if you've got skills and the stakes are low. But every bit of progress you make on getting in shape will pay dividends and in the long run, there's no substitute.

Ineedanswers6789 · 2022-04-19T14:20:11+00:00

It’s all kinda fake, pretending to be something your not with the hopes of attracting some girl that doesn’t like the real you, when at the very start you were good enough.

essendoubleop · 2022-04-19T13:56:23+00:00

Why stop at good enough?

NocturneBotEUNE · 2022-04-19T15:45:23+00:00

You're never done. Which is why it's important to improve first for yourself, based on your goals and ambitions, and then maybe to hit some tinderellas.

Im_inappropriate · 2022-04-19T16:42:48+00:00

Mark Mason in "Models" covers this. Self improvement is important, but in the general sense it is a buzzword filled, grifter trap. The most important thing in dating, seduction, and life is finding the best version of yourself. Being "good enough" means you're striving to be good enough to others, which is unattractive neediness, but being the best version of yourself means you're striving every day to be the best version of you. When you're the best version of yourself, that means you're comfortable and aware of who you are with zero neediness, and that's the most attractive you can be. Mind you, the idea of the best version of yourself is obtainable but requires maintenance through whatever keeps you in good physical and mental health, it's a constant ongoing part of life. Sometimes it takes months or years to achieve, but the best version of you needs to be winning against the worse version of you for you to finally see results. Once that flip happens, you'll start seeing changes across the board and won't feel the constant need "to be better" because you realize you are better. Neediness is the seduction killer.

thelongestchain · 2022-04-19T17:14:04+00:00

You already are "good enough". What happens once you get to the next level? And then what?

Then there's the always the desire of not being good and need to reach that next state/level. And it becomes an empty void inside. Always chasing.

This doesn't mean to not take action to better yourself, but come from a state of you already are good enough.

bartsy1993 · 2022-04-19T17:14:42+00:00

when you stop asking reddit

yoitsappy · 2022-04-19T17:24:56+00:00

If you're not getting girls then you're not good enough. So keep going on

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-04-19T18:28:34+00:00

Don’t improve to impress a woman. Improve to impress yourself.

putcoolusernamehere · 2022-04-19T18:37:50+00:00

Good enough to game? When you’re confident enough that the variance of rejection and bad dates won’t lead you to doing activities that lead towards losing progress in the areas you are working on.

avirup_sen · 2022-04-19T18:51:24+00:00

There is never a saturation point in self improvement. Every time a problem arises, I am like if I fix this everything will be perfect. Once done, another problem arises and it goes on. So self-development is a constant process. Do it for your own good.

monkey36937 · 2022-04-19T19:39:53+00:00

When you are g And people remember your name.

No_Cheesecake_3957 · 2022-04-19T19:44:56+00:00

No matter when, where, what, why, and how you exist in the world you are ALWAYS somebody's type. Every step of the way. The challenge is becoming your own type. When you're down to open up and let yourself be enough. We're all in the trap on "needing" to be better until we are open to allow ourselves to be enough. Now as far as self improvement goes there is never an end. Its what keeps us busy and alive. So never stop that shit my dawgs.

sbdpilot43 · 2022-04-19T19:46:42+00:00

You are good enough today, but you can always improve yourself. If you hope that it will be different tomorrow or you are missing something today. Your missing the point of it all.

Got to play the cards dealt to you today, and as you play you’ll learn and get better. Improvement comes with experience

Dominate humbly

supreme_jackk · 2022-04-19T19:51:25+00:00

Never!!!

connro5 · 2022-04-19T20:08:20+00:00

When you understand you'll never be "good enough". That you're already enough, and that it is a never ending process of "improving" (more like modifying) and learning about your self

Psychological-Hotel9 · 2022-04-19T20:58:34+00:00

What does good enough mean? Good as an object describing something that is positive? There are so many things that are “good”. “Enough is more difficult because you must decide at what point goals that you have end, and if they do end, where is the next area in life you don’t have “enough”. I think working on self fulfilling improving habits like reading about human struggle or achievement, meditation, exercise, are all health ways to cope with self esteem issues stemming from “not being good enough”. I’m sure you’ll be ok too.

user009818 · 2022-04-19T21:10:06+00:00

You've got it wrong , self improvement doesn't mean not good enough. Ur always good enough even at your worst. That is first step to this, u never stop improving

The-Royal-Fork · 2022-04-19T21:26:45+00:00

I love and hate this question: Answer: there is no limit

that_guu · 2022-04-19T22:47:04+00:00

For me to improve is to try and reach your true potential.

Tbh, I don't believe that anyone can reach their true potential, simply because its not well defined.

Trying to define what ones true potential is, can be a Life long journey and this is what gives meaning to my life. To try to learn myself well enough to discover and mabe definite what my true potential is.

Infinite_Net_5075 · 2022-04-19T22:49:17+00:00

When you're fit. Mentally and physically fit, and you accept good and bad outcomes. That's good enough.

Dumy_Hmn · 2022-04-19T23:25:00+00:00

As other dude said. Self improvement is an infinite journey.

For me "good enough" is when you start to feel more comfortable about who you are and start to build connection with other persons, not because you want to get something from them, just because you wanna have fun meeting new people.

PitiRR · 2022-04-19T23:53:13+00:00

Self-improvement is the journey, not the destination. Stop being a monk

Low_Fondant9911 · 2022-04-19T23:58:37+00:00

Never, we're humans. We're insatiable

HolisticPlanner · 2022-04-20T00:43:32+00:00

From a Zen master: “Each of you is perfect the way you are. And you could each use a little improvement.” -Shunryu Suzuki.

youcheekydelinquent · 2022-04-20T01:13:03+00:00

Good enough is relative and always changing. Are you good enough? It depends what you want. Plenty of people out there to settle down with. But that's not what you want. Why else would you be here. Ask someone OUT? Sure pretty much always. You just don't "deserve" a shot. Are you good enough to take it? Are you strong enough to deal with rejection?

SpinCity07 · 2022-04-20T01:24:27+00:00

I think keeping busy in general is the idea. If you slow down, suicide tends to creep in. Keep moving forward. It doesn’t have to be the generic exercise, healthy eating, sleeping right. Just keeping busy at something will make you better at it. Know that you’re good enough no matter what and that status is a game built around shame that you don’t have to play. It can only affect you if you agree to shame yourself for not being number one. Shame does no good for anyone and only serves to make you spiral further into depression. Just stay busy with your interests. You will always improve from there.

Both_Move2565 · 2022-04-20T03:40:54+00:00

You’ll hVe an answer once you’ve lived life enough until then enjoy life and learn

Quirky_Tale_9739 · 2022-04-20T08:17:21+00:00

You improve yourself for yourself until the point you are happy. It could be decades from now.

EclecticOpal · 2022-04-20T10:33:32+00:00

Until you get the kind of woman you'd want to settle for.

Elegant_Weasel · 2022-04-19T23:30:04+00:00

you're good enough now, but you should always strive to be better for its own sake. because you want to be. not because you you need it to love yourself or feel worthy of someone else.

Title	So self improvement is preached here. But at what point are you good enough?
Author	headcase1111
Upvotes	62
Comments	62
Date	April 19, 2022 1:26 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/u754y9/so_self_improvement_is_preached_here_but_at_what/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/so-self-improvement-is-preached-here-but-at-what.1261704 https://theredarchive.com/post/1261704

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