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[–][deleted] 101 points102 points103 points 4 years ago* (13 children) | Copy Link
All I know with these apps, is that if you annoy the AI - you get thrown to the bottom of the pile and never show up.
You pretty much have to play by the algorithms rules or you get shadowbanned. You won't even know that you're in the naughty bin other than that you're not getting any activity.
You get punished for not having a good 3-5 clean photos (smiling, good lighting, facial closeups with no masks/sunglasses, high quality resolution, good composition, hopefully professionally done), and a decent enough profile. You can't put any racist/bigoted demands in your profile or use words that are going to get flagged or come across like a dick. You should try to ask some deep questions in the profile e.g. "Are you finally ready to have children?" and include a few vague words and sentences which are essentially meaningless but convey good feelings and suggest nice locations, without promising anything. E.g. "tall, surfing entrepreneur, loves warm sunshine, just stepping off the plane from Bali". Then end with a call for her to take action.
Sites will also punish you for overusing the pay-to-play features (sucked in suckers!) and swiping right too much. You need around a 30%-right to 70%-left ratio. You also need to log in daily (or every second day), or your profile will disappear. You also need to respond very quickly if you match. The AI will ping you for that as much as the women will lose interest.
Yes, it's like having to play along with the relationship mafia's rules.
To fix your profile you'll have to take new photos, write a new profile, and do the things I mentioned above.
But as others have said, Facebook dating is better. Tinder is just passe and can be full of IG models
[–]Nighthaven- 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Tinder got considerably worse after the new Norwegian CEO took over. But most of these apps are designed to 'milk' desperate men.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes it's all a business and the AI is honed to keep people on the site. It's finely tuned to make money. Needless to say that women get heaps of messages and have to wade through them. The site has to cater to the women on the site otherwise men (who vastly outnumber the women) won't line up to play the slots.
The AI favours women over men.
The only way to win is to cheese the algorithm(s).
And even when you do manage to match you have to wade through women shit testing you and trying to waste your time online.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]osavpoiss 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, it's even worse in Estonia - all I get is people from Finland, Latvia, Russia or bots. The last is like 75% of "people".
[–]lordswolf23 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
How do you make a new account if you're shadow banned or the algo has screwed you
[–]randomlystandard 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You can delete your account and restart it, go in on settings and at the bottom.
I've done it a few times works like a charm
[–]Blackmagician 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s tied to your phone number/pictures/Facebook account. Even when you delete your account and immediately restart they know it’s still you.
The real way to foolproof restart your account is to delete profile and stay off of it for 3 months because they delete your data then. Or get a new phone and use new/modified pics.
[–]Granny_Killa 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You may need to get new everything - phone, sim card, email, fb, photos. If deleting and recreating it doesn't work that is.
[–]OceanFury 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Delete acc and start fresh.
[–]gillmanblacklagooner 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You don’t even need to blame the algorithms if you are uploading bad profile pics and bigoted demands there…
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Your profile will also be thrown down the list if you keep getting unmatched.
You can get unmatched easily enough by starting out with boring messages like "hi, how are you?" or "you're beautiful" instead of a probing open-ended vague questions that challenge and intrigue the women.
[–]DrixlRey 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for the guide!
[–]Fulk0 24 points25 points26 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I've had 3 dates from Tinder. All 3 of them with women I already knew irl from local bars and such. All other matches ended up in girls who just wanted validation, attention seekers, gold diggers or no answer at all.
Guys go out and meet people irl, online dating is a scam.
[–]Popular_Rush 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Meeting people irl is way funnier, but dating apps aren't necessarily a scam. It works for some people and not for others. For me it has been a great blessing.
[–]gillmanblacklagooner 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You both are right.
[–]Exmerus 103 points104 points105 points 4 years ago (24 children) | Copy Link
It's simple. Let's think about this: there are 1000 men in a certain area. Not sure what's the actual ratio of men that do pay for Tinder, but let's say that 700 out of those 1000 pay for Tinder Gold/Platinum, so they get preference in the stack over free accounts. If you don't subscribe, you are buried under all the guys that pay, even if you have a better profile. The ladies will see the other ones first, most of the time.
Tinder doesn't hate you, they have to deliver what they promise to the guys who are paying them. If you pay as well, you can compete and show up before them if you have a better profile.
[–]SDdude81 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's simple. Let's think about this: there are 1000 men in a certain area. Not sure what's the actual ratio of men that do pay for Tinder, but let's say that 700 out of those 1000 pay for Tinder Gold/Platinum,
I think this is more how it is
1,000 men using the app in an area. 400 are paying.
300 women using app.
That's why online dating is a shitshow.
[–]rocksnstyx 38 points39 points40 points 4 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link
Except they know they are profiting off the misery of single men, destroying their self confidence. Even having a sub is no guarantee that you won't be buried by their terrible algorithm. So it crosses into the lines of consumer abuse. It's why I keep telling people to switch to FB dating. It's completely free, they don't bury you, and you actually meet quality suitors.
[–]conker1264 26 points27 points28 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Young people don't really use Facebook anymore though.
[–]dingleburry_joe 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly, fuck all of these people
[–]Lakeyute 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
It’s no different to any pay to win game.. these men are adults. They should have the self awareness to know that nothings free
[–]rocksnstyx 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
It isn't about self awareness, it's about morally questionable business practices.
[–]Lakeyute 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
If that’s what you’re expecting from any business, you’re better off growing up and realizing that none of these businesses give a fuck about being morally acceptable.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
See thats why there are supposed to be regulations, cause no shit businesses dont care, thats obvious, literally why regulations exist
[–]Lakeyute 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
What would these legislations be for exactly?
[–]jackzander 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
Dark pattern regulation. It's already a thing.
[–]Lakeyute 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
What exactly do you see this accomplishing in swipe apps? It’s not gonna lead to more guys getting matches.
Its the equivalent to going to an amusement park with a fast pass. You pay more to skip the line and ride more rides. If you don’t wanna pay then you’ll have to wait your turn until those with fast pass have gone. That’s all tinder is. Premium users appear first and women have limited swipes. And most times they get bored and leave the app before they even see the non paying guys.
Want to do better on tinder pay more..
[–]jackzander -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
That's all tinder is
You seem to not fully appreciate the differences between a queue at Six Flags and an algorithmic system designed to inconvenience and mislead for profit.
Your attempt to equate the two is an error in judgement.
[–]Exmerus 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree. Still, you have to compete with 699 dudes who also paid, they can’t guarantee you to be too 10 or that you will get matches, they just place you above most of the free accounts.
It’s a fucking gold mine for them.
[–]sgtlobster06 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
switch to FB dating.
I live in a big city and there was only like 5 people on Facebook dating in my area. It also barely respects my search criteria which is really frustrating.
[–]bckat 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They’re profiting off of people willing and able to put in more than others. That’s not new, exploitation or abuse in any way. It’s literally your own responsibility how you feel, and if knowingly using an app that will prefer someone over you, you just can’t be upset about not being chosen. You knew this already.
[–]blackopsplayer5 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No different than any coach/instructor/guide profiting off people who need help. Stringing them along
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yea that’s pretty much the business model of every dating site: to profit off desperate men
[–]SquashMarks 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hinge is the way. Not Facebook
[–]rtriples 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If your confidence is tied to swipes on tinder, you got other other issues you need to work on, which is one of the reasons you're not getting matches.
[–]Mission-Elevator-100 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Are you just guessing, or is it proven that it works like that? Does Tinder gold really get you more exposure and put you before the non-paying men?
[–]OceanFury 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It really works like that. All accounts have a match making rating that determines who sees your profile and when they see it. Paying for gold raises your MMR, so does updating your pics with frequency. There’s other ways too like for example if you get matches by women who don’t swipe right often, or having high percentage of women go through your photos before swiping. Mass swiping (>10 times in a half an hour) lowers your MMR, more so if you swiped right 10x in a row. Getting left swiped by someone who has equal or lower MMR will lower yours. There’s much more to it but you get the gist
[–]Deep-Advice7587 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dating apos aren't the best way to meet ppl in general, its the easiest as long as you have more potential.
[–]Remarkable-Cat1337 29 points30 points31 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
the old way is much better, get fit, get good clothes, a good perfume and go to parties, way cheaper!
[–]Chispy 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're also more likely to meet quality people. You'll naturally gravitate towards them. Tinder is way too artificial and you have to pay money for something you're naturally able to do in a way more effective and emotionally-viable way.
[–]Prof4CMV 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Buy tinder platinum on Wednesday. Set up autoswiper. Use boost around 7-8 on Thursday. Get a refund on Saturday. Keep tinder free and let the matches roll in for the next week.
[–]drewcer 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I do both online and cold approach. Nobody can ever replace the personal development and social experience you get from cold approach. But tinder is great for when I’m lazy and don’t want to go out lol.
Ofc paying for tinder is nbd to me. But if you’re a broke college kid I get it. Cold approach is fine, everyone should learn it as part of being a man imo
[–]youcheekydelinquent 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
1) You probably need to delete your account and start over later.
2) Apps are not dating. Apps are a controlled/curated way to make assumptions about people based on a limited set of pictures, text, and images using arbitrary criteria. People who really like to seduce people know that interaction is the way you seduce someone, and that's impossible to do in a single action or a text message. Real seduction requires in-person interaction. You can certainly build trust and intimacy on these apps, but the selection process is biased toward people who are naturally good-looking or good at creating profiles.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]idontneedfame 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Why include that first step? Wouldn't it make sense to go for platinum right away?
Dead accounts don’t show up early in the queue. Not logging in for 3 days removes you from the pool altogether, I’ve tested this. If her profile shows up she uses the app.
[–]rjones416 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
i like super likes but damn they get expensive. back in my day you didnt need to pay to send a girl a message in online dating.
[–]kettlebell_workout 23 points24 points25 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
It’s not a scam, it’s capitalism.
[–]dingleburry_joe 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They were really right when they said everything would be commodified eh?
[–]False_Bear_8645 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Capitalism can be a scam, it's about making as much money as possible with the least effort and that include any non morally correct practice.
Tinder for exemple, renew automatically subscriptions because it's proven people will sometime forget and spend more money than they wanted and their app does not make it easy to cancel it. They do not respect every countries laws surrounding subscription and knows most people will give up because legal actions are slow and painful.
[–]theqv -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
lol every service renews automatically
[–]TTV-DontEvnTrip 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I will always prefer real life over online dating. I’m 34m. I was around before online dating existed and when it first came out and you could put your distance on 1mile to find local hookups. It’s changed a lot since then and people have jaded intentions online more than ever. Real life is the best place to meet someone you will actually have a chance in a real relationship other than that a paid dating site is much better than online garbage like tinder which is full of bots or attention seeking women who don’t plan on meeting you ever in real life.
[–]wabbuwabbu 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’m surprised how the market has changed. 7 years ago, tinder was the easiest way to “socialise” with new people, for free. Now it just seems to be a tool for attention seeking people and scammers.
[–]osavpoiss 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think covid made a big difference in that also - a lot more guys joined up, Tinder got more use behavior data and are now milking their user base more "efficently".
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same with Hinge, i’m getting connections out the ass while subbed. Even when i’m not going through and trying to connect I was still getting matches.
When I let my sub expire I stopped getting matches. Maybe 1-2 a week.
[–]wdbreneprod 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dating Apps 101:
[–]Canadian-Seductioner 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Try Bumble and Hinge, I've had better success with those apps not paying.
[–]CompetitionFair7686 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah, it’s a business after all, and the servers and the programmers, and the investors who put their money to make the platform bigger and reach more markets, don’t pay themselves.
You are also not entitled to Tinder or matches, so if you don’t like the service you stop using it and go for a competitor.
Tinder isn’t a public service or a human right, so they don’t have to give you stuff for free, specially when operating a platform as big as tinder costs millions of dollars every year.
[–]no_not_this 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. And the fact that op can get 1k matches for the price of a drink at a bar seems like a good value. What about the poor dudes who pay and don’t get a single match
[–]greatlifeahead 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There was a study done that said that even 90% of Tinder users are men.
[–]rienjabura 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah, but I'm going to assume most of use have fallen prey to EA-esque "pay to win" scenarios by now. Not paying for Tinder, especially because I literally get no added benefits, unlike OkCupid(I can filter for no Trump chicks, for example).
FYI: if you pay for okcupid premium for about 3ish months, then cancel, they will prompt you to pay 100 for a lifetime premium membership
[–]rjones416 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
i used to really like okcupid but its kind of dead now.
[–]Kitchen_Entertainer9 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sum of post
Real life is better. Sum
[–]Caio_dos_Hack 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
fuck these apps
[–]JadePhoenixMage 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Our entire society is just a predatory machine that feeds on the despair and desperation of the average man. Women have no fucking clue how good they have it.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Prof4CMV 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Even if you pay it’s a scam
[–]OceanFury 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s only a scam if it’s not working for you.
[–]ImNotClayy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Like what lil Baby says… business is business
[–]Popular_Rush 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Great song 🐐
[–]h1mera 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Looks like you don’t know how to use tinder correct way. Why do you need 1000 matches? You need maybe 5-10 matches at maximum. Price you pay for the gold account is $50. This is amount you spent on a regular date. The price you pay is not that large if you want to date many woman in short period of time. Otherwise use free account where you can get matches(not 1000 as on gold account)
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Its $15 a month? If what you are saying is true, that $15 is for sure worth it. I am just concerned nothing will change if I purchase
[–]Granny_Killa 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Depends on your location and age.
I'm in my 30's in Australia and it's $45 per month for me.
[–]willgo-waggins -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Always say. IRL is the only way to go. Online is mostly a waste.
Shit my girl keeps Bumble and literally uses it to entertain herself when she’s bored. I have sat there and had her shown me guys profiles and laugh.
That’s the reality of the majority of OLD.
[–]mrrooftops -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol, you thought Tinder was a 'find-a-date' charity.
[–]Low_Fondant9911 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I mean they provide a service. Do you expect them not to make money? How would they maintain their business?
[–]Lakeyute -4 points-3 points-2 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
It’s not a scam… people need to understand that Tinder is a business that doesn’t give a fuck about matches for its users. It’s designed to do whatever required to get people to buy the premium features..
That being said, if you’re going to use Tinder or any of those apps, your best off using the premium features vs the free version.
[–]Prof4CMV 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So...a scam?
[–]5_7pickup 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I mean… it’s a business at the end of the day lol.
Real talk, truth
Yup. The company wants profit. Short it to 0
[–]vitamin-cheese 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I find Bumble to be worse and Hinge worst of all. And at least Tinder has fairer prices and options than Bumble (never checked hinges prices). The first time I used Hinge the first person who liked me was an obese woman (I don’t mean this in a mean way) , but the system automatically ranked me lower and all the woman I got shown after that was bottom of the barrel picks. I had to delete and start over. What a messed up system.
[–]Atibana 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How is it a scam? The paid version is going to be better, the free version should suck. Paying for services is normal not a scam.
[–]PuroPincheGains 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've had 2 very serious relationships and dozens of hookups from Tinder over the years. It's just ine way to meet women you might not be able to encounter in your day to day life. It is what you make of it
[–]ijustlovebreasts 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
True. The only matches I get are the ones where you can kinda a blurred photo of who likes you and I just look for photos that look close to those.
[–]xtzferocity 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's weird because I feel whenever I pay for Tinder I get less matches, conversations and likes. Now I know how the likes thing works as Tinder will just keep profiles you've swiped left on as profiles that "liked you" but my matches have dropped and even quality conversations have dropped there's zero chance I pay for it again.
[–]IrishSkillet 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I mean…they do have to make some money or the free app wouldn’t even be there. Nothing in life is free my friend. If something is free…then you or your information is the product being sold somewhere else.
[–]gillmanblacklagooner 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
P2P gamers know that
[–]dry-foo 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I believe in wide build in the dating game. Do daygame, nightgame, meet girls via your friends, do tinder, bumble. Have a wide variety of options and it doesn't mean anything if you fail on tinder.
Tinder can be extremely dangerous for your self esteem. Both getting a lot of matches and getting none matches at all.
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[–]Granny_Killa 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]willgo-waggins -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mrrooftops -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Low_Fondant9911 -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lakeyute -4 points-3 points-2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Prof4CMV 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]5_7pickup 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]vitamin-cheese 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Atibana 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PuroPincheGains 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ijustlovebreasts 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]xtzferocity 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IrishSkillet 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]gillmanblacklagooner 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dry-foo 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link