Got fired

upvotersfortruth · 2023-04-25T14:29:26+00:00

This is as well written as it is sad. That's a lot for a man to take. Hopefully the light of your kids shines bright enough for you to see your way through this low point. Hopefully this is the bottom or very close to it. Stick with it, man.

Tricky_Ice_7493 · 2023-04-25T15:25:15+00:00

Here’s the good news. You’re literally at rock bottom. There’s literally no way to go but up. You lost a driving job. No offense, but you’re smarter than that. I can tell by how you write.

I’ve said it before. What helps me is polarizing my thoughts. I think in the very small and the very big. Not in between. The very small is every individual action I need to take. Not “go to the gym”. Not “look for jobs.” I’m talking “get one foot off the couch. Stand up. Go to the fridge. Drink a glass of water.” That level. And when my thoughts wonder I force them to dream of the biggest things. The best things. The big and the small. Your future is brighter than today. That’s the good news.

Plenty-Entertainer71 · 2023-04-25T15:43:18+00:00

File for bankruptcy and start off on a clean slate. Find another job and work your way back up! We are men we are meant to rebuild and conquer. You can do it we all believe in you brother !!

CleburnCO · 2023-04-25T16:02:15+00:00

Many of us have been where you are.

Start by cutting things from your life and mind...cut everything that doesn't make you better, happier, wealthier, and more capable.

You are going to look back at right now and see that it was the hardest, but also the time that made you the strongest. You have nowhere to go but up and your future is 100% what you make it. You own it...nobody else. Everyone has shown you who they are...believe them, cut them out, build you into the best you...and it starts with a goal.

What is your goal? What does success look like? Define your end state and you can then make a plan.

That plan must be specific, quantifiable, and have a schedule that you follow with absolute discipline. Discipline is freedom. Build your routine. Eat- Gym- Work- Read Books- Sleep. No drinking or drugs, avoid women, and learn to love perfection in basic things. Build perfectly. Do all things with precision....from your laundry to your writing. Focus your energy and destroy anything that distracts you or consumes your energy.

Plan. Plan. Execute.

FUMoney · 2023-04-25T15:03:52+00:00

Of course she doesn’t care. This is the reality of divorce. Nor is this your fault.

Here are the hard truths. Marriage: bullshit. Marriage with kids: bullshit on steroids. Not bullshit: women initiating the vast majority of divorces across the planet. Also not bullshit: during the divorce process, fathers have no value other than their propensity to be a walking wallet.

You’ve been handed an enormous shit sandwich. There is only one card to play: cowboy up, Get off the floor, get back to doing productive work. Save. Invest in yourself. Bank as much money as you can. Get to a place where you are truly independent, meaning you never have to give a flying fuck what any woman or man thinks. You need financial independence, emotional independence, relationship independence. No permanent entanglements, ever. Only then will you will have achieved a level of peace, confident in knowing neither female nor male can unilaterally blow apart the life you have built.

So, adopt the fighter and builder mentality. One more thing: never, ever, ever, ever get married or have children again. Modern legal/marital relationships in Western-style democracies are fucking rotten to the core. “No-fault” divorce ensures your family and life can be annihilated within seconds.

There is only one way to win this disgustingly rigged game: do not play.

Grand-Expression-493 · 2023-04-25T16:38:23+00:00

Last month I basically was too tired and fell asleep for 2 seconds at the wheel.

This is a big deal, you can kill someone in those 2 seconds, or even yourself. Your boss did the right thing.

It sucks, but as others have said, you are at your lowest.

If I can offer my advice:

Try to stop thinking of your past actions (simp etc). They are done. You can't undo them.
Treat her as someone you used to know. That is it. That is all she is now, just the woman who birthed your kids. Take the personal out of it. Take the history out of it.
Stop caring what she does and who she gets under. You said she had a bf before divorce even finalized, I can see that. That just means she had it brewing for a long time, had time to think about the divorce, go through the stages of grief and then blindside you with the divorce.

You and her were totally at different places.

There is nothing wrong in moving back with parents to recover. I don't know why the west has made it tabboo. As long as you don't sponge off them and be an imposition, you are doing nothing wrong.

You seem well educated, try to find a counselling agency and get a different job. There is nowhere but up from here buddy.

Best of luck.

Queasy-River7357 · 2023-04-25T17:29:28+00:00

Seriously feel for you, this is a terrible situation absolutely no doubt about it. It amazes me how people can care so little about someone they spent a huge amount of time with.

But trust me, not everyone is like that. Speak to friends and family, let it out if you can.

One thing that really help me was running, never ever ran before this happened. all you need are trainers, shorts and t-shirt. Just go out and run, put some music on and run. It costs nothing, requires no thought and makes you feel so much better. Dont over think it, just go.

Ever heard of a runners high? Well go running and you'll feel it. It won't clear your mind completely but it will make think straight, help organise yiur thoughts, make the pain more manageable, give you a lift, give you some confidence if you get what I mean.

There's only one way back from this and that's doing small things that make you feel good. Small steps, they eventually turn into bugger more rewarding steps.

Fuck I'm going to go running now, just convinced myself.

Good luck, take care of yourself, you can do this!!!

rmpwinwin · 2023-04-25T15:51:30+00:00

Hang tight! Tough times don't last long, tough people do!

You've come this far, not to just come this far. Feel free to pm me. I've been through hell and wouldn't have made it without self reassurance and this amazing group!

Hang tight brother!

Sergio_B_ · 2023-04-25T17:17:37+00:00

This is your rock bottom, take this time to regroup, I know it's hard very hard, find one good friend(Male) if not come back here and keep asking for support if you want to talk, we are here.

Metabater · 2023-04-25T17:45:01+00:00

My brother and fellow King; life is long. You have an open road in front of you and the path ahead is yours to make. Don’t write yourself off so quickly when it comes to your children, if they’re young, you have time to work and save and see them as you’re able to.

Right now there is only 1 way to go and that is up. Your living situation will change once you get steady work again, and make no mistake you absolutely will. Money can always be earned.

Think of a future where you’ll have your own place, and money in the bank, planning a trip to go see the kids. Maybe you’ll bring a new gf with you.

Most of all, this is your time to heal and focus on self care. Start positive habits like the gym and eating healthy, and next thing you know it your life will be refreshed.

You will be ok bro. Now pick up that crown.

Error-Original · 2023-04-25T18:42:58+00:00

Do what Im doing, get in ridiculous shape and make some damn money. Start a business or four, build an empire. I can already see my empire and it stretches from the sea to the mountains. Literal geographical places Ill own properties and businesses. If youre spiritual toss in some of that and some knowledge building for knowledge sake. Then when you pick up your kids from your private jet, car service is a bentley and you are jacked toss your ex a wad of hundreds and say thanks for the service bitch.

No-Blackberry7887 · 2023-04-25T16:29:36+00:00

I was also kicked out of my house when I had a little daughter and a newborn baby boy. Pls don't do what I did, just hear me out. I used to drink 2 bottles of whiskey everyday at my grandmother's house for months and I would barely eat anything. Until one-day I felt so sick that I was going to die. That's when I realized that if I continue on this path I will end up dead. That's when a switch flipped in my head and I didn't care about anyone except for myself. You can't do anything now for your children given your current situation. The only thing that you can do is work your way up.

Don't let her screw you out of your life! If your children are safe and ok let things be and work on yourself. You'll see day by day that things will fall into place.

By the way Don't ever get married again! The western court system screws men worldwide.

DicksOut4Edamame · 2023-04-25T17:44:44+00:00

How fortunate you have hit rock bottom, for you can only go up from here.

Rise!

SafeHarbors · 2023-04-26T03:26:11+00:00

This is the absolute best moment for a heroic comeback!

rmpwinwin · 2023-04-25T15:56:15+00:00

- Drink at least 10 glasses of water every day. You're kidneys will thank you for this and you'll stay well hydrated - which will ultimately help your body adjust with the stress.

- Start journaling. Helps tremendously. They say, 'if you have write it clearly, half your problems will be solved.'

- Not sure where you are geographically, but go for a walk/run. Just go sit at the nearest park and scroll your phone there instead of sitting at home.

- Take one day at a time. Remember, this is a journey not a destination. No two days are the same.

- And most importantly, give yourself credit for how far you've come despite all the atrocities of life. Value yourself more than anything else in the world (just less than Oxygen, may be!)

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2023-04-25T17:51:43+00:00

Honestly, you're not that bad as you have a place to live. I know many men who ended up homeless or sleeping in their cars.

Start running everyday and praying/meditating. You will get out of us this just like the 10k members on this subreddit have done the same. Just push through.

sicrm · 2023-04-25T15:57:49+00:00

right now you have to focus on these three things.

getting a job, your physical and mental health.

once you get all three sorted, you can look into other areas.

BlackFire68 · 2023-04-25T18:34:22+00:00

Marriage makes you Santa Claus if you buy into the bullshit (big belly that jiggles like a bowl full of jelly, large full sack, only loved for what you give them, only come once a year).

2023-04-25T18:35:16+00:00

Maybe find the true enemy within and displace it:

I wonder do you take medication or

do you have behaviors that really take up all your free time?

what another could consider addictions or dependencies even if you don't feel like that?

Or is it common for you to hide or lie to your people about behaviors or consumption? -

Perhaps that is the hidden path, the hidden enemy to defeat, to make things easier.

animalx3 · 2023-04-25T19:11:26+00:00

I agree with all stated more or less. One thing I’d suggest which has helped me and it costs little is yoga. I’m middle of divorce and do yoga almost daily and started a few months ago. You’re focused on breathing, living energy, self love, and then the poses so it’s not like the gym. You wanna be a gym rat rock on but the mental and what not of yoga is mentally therapeutic. Second thing I’ll suggest is read ways of a superior man - twice. Or listen to it. Live that stuff. Third thing. Forgive yourself as she’s not going to give you an inch or let you sound things out you are feeling…she’s moved on so you can only do you and think this crap through.

ThrowRAcq4444 · 2023-04-25T19:11:41+00:00

The past is the past. Don't look back, never look back. Only look forward. Focus on yourself. You are still SO young. You've got a lifetime in front of you.

DatabaseSpace · 2023-04-25T21:14:20+00:00

Not sure where you are or what the laws are but maybe notify them of job loss, file for alimony pendente lite if she is working. Tell them about medical issues.

jamesjeffriesiii · 2023-04-25T23:35:08+00:00

Hey man, only place to go from here is up!

Int-Merc805 · 2023-04-26T00:30:34+00:00

My brother, you only have up to go from here. When you get a new job you can stack cash while living with your parents. Set some goals and meet them. What’s most important to you? Having a house or a nice truck and rent. You get to pick your new life and build it from scratch.

The new boyfriend will no replace you ever. You’re always dad. No matter what mom says, the kids will see the truth when they’re older.

Work on your ptsd. Enjoy your new found freedom from your ex, and fix your life dude. One step at a time. Set small goals and crush them, your wife did you a huge favor you just can’t see it right now!

checkoutdeeznuts2 · 2023-04-26T00:54:46+00:00

Everything offered seems on point. I want you to read a book called The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi. You will then start to see thr reality of women. Who you thought she was? Never was. Smokescreen brother. Now don't feel like reading it? Good listen to it. For free on YouTube. You can get a free listen to the book there. Hypergamy misandry on and on my friend. Get working again and hit the gym, run or do something that raises serotonin across the synaptic cleft in the brain. All of these activities do that and will make you feel good. Trust me.

yeldellmedia · 2023-04-26T02:37:33+00:00

Focus in building a relationship with your kids, dust yourself off, stand up straight and conquer life!

ke7cfn · 2023-04-26T05:52:32+00:00

It could be worse. You could have child support payments and debt accrued.

out-the_door · 2023-04-26T13:14:49+00:00

I had the same deal shoved down my throat. Had been a devoted husband and father for the past 20+ years. In 2002 I was at a crossroads in my own life; 20 years later I thought I had it all figured out, that I'd slaved to make everything safe for my family and that it was all worth it. No. This happens to me now when I am right on the cusp of retirement and in a lousy economy. I didn't lose everything, but I did lose what was most important to me. You can start your whole life over at 36. I can't.

There's always someone worse off.

Figure it out and dispense with the 'I want to end' business.

deenath247 · 2023-04-26T22:11:59+00:00

If you snore and overweight. Please get checked for sleep apnea.

Training_Ad1368 · 2023-04-27T16:52:28+00:00

Heal, it is time to heal and embrace that you are single once again !!! Your kids will show up again later in life, or you can go to visit them. But I know it sounds cold but, try to get the positive out of this even if it sounds heartless.

Diablo_Canyon2 · 2023-04-27T19:58:52+00:00

How's it going today, OP?

Title	Got fired
Author	UN_sensored
Upvotes	55
Comments	54
Date	April 25, 2023 2:11 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/12yklr2/got_fired/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/got-fired.1216838 https://theredarchive.com/post/1216838

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