Let me start by saying that cheating is terrible, but I cannot help but wonder if this "Wife-Girlfriend" of 10 years has utterly given up on him. I also like the "I guess" there at the end, suggesting a general passive-aggressiveness.

PassafistMonkey · 2021-11-26T14:40:32+00:00

I've noticed an uptick in the last decade of men calling their girlfriends, who they never intend to actually marry, their wives.

Platipus6 · 2021-11-26T11:12:46+00:00

Pushed me into an alcohol relapse, I'd been clean for almost eight months.

There it is folks.

whyanythingcanhappen · 2021-11-26T12:16:29+00:00

If he had only been sober for 8 months when this happened, I think it’s pretty clear that she put up with some serious shit before it got to this point.

I’d be curious to know if she also considers herself his wife (girlfriend). It wouldn’t be shocking to learn that she’s broken things off with him and he still thinks there’s something there.

WestAtmosphere · 2021-11-26T17:52:08+00:00

Honestly ... if it was the other way around and the post was in the sub about no sex relationships the men would be justifying the cheating. Men often justify their own cheating as a "need". Her cheating was probably an emotional need not getting met ... and I think he knows this by the title stating "wife" ... because he knows he should have fucking wifed her 5 years ago and now he's losing her because of his failure to commit for 10 years. I guarantee this is the scenario, he probably treated her as a live in maid who he has sex with on the odd occasion when he isn't jerking it to other women.

Regardless, she's still a pickme for staying that long and even letting it get to that point of needing to cheat. Women can do better, and the best option is always to just walk away.

fireforestfairy · 2021-11-26T10:43:27+00:00

The "wife (girlfriend)" part of this post is so cringeworthy.

Seraphinx · 2021-11-26T10:08:58+00:00

"I was just starting to turn my life around"

Translation : I've been nothing but a scrote for 10 years

Solid-Liquid · 2021-11-26T10:46:00+00:00

I couldn’t imagine being someone’s gf for 10 years with nothing moving forward. I did 3 and decided that was enough time. And of course he was just starting to turn his life around, meaning he was wasting her time for a while before this happened 😒

Tripdowire · 2021-11-26T11:01:33+00:00

I saw this earlier. He says it's pushed him into an alcohol relapse after he'd been clean for 8 months.

Living with someone who has a drink problem really isn't fun.

saint-jezebel · 2021-11-26T13:19:19+00:00

Cheating is the least of the issue here.

Let’s start with she is wife in name (conversation depending on who) only. Let’s not stop there. If he says wife (girlfriend) it means that’s his girlfriend but I’ll get more cool points/sympathy for calling her my wife. She’s been single for 10 years.

He’s just getting his life together meanwhile she’s been in a dead end “relationship” for 10 years. How much can we bet he’s put her through numerous emotional, financial, physical, mental ringers but he deserves a cookie for finally getting his life together. After. 10. Years. She is still single.

This is a man who can’t commit to a women or a goal, but she cheated. Ok. The debate is moot. She’s still single.

He only thinks she cheated because he thinks he made the rules. Someone tell this man she’s still single. Thanks.

staywiththecrown · 2021-11-26T18:54:19+00:00

Did he try communicating with her? Women aren't mind readers. They have needs. She could also be depressed, too. /s

PinkestMango · 2021-11-26T10:20:44+00:00

I also want to know how he saw pictures of it.

Did the new scrote share it? Did he hire a detective?

missusbateman · 2021-11-26T12:14:04+00:00

Imagine having the cheek to call a forever gf his wife, to cover his own embarrassment. You don't get that privilege buddy, hence her banging someone else.

xfelugirlx · 2021-11-26T18:16:31+00:00

Wife (girlfriend) boy bye and you are an addict. Yeah dump her because she cheated on you but she will be winning😂

artemisseven · 2021-11-26T11:59:06+00:00

Wife (girlffriend) threw me off. I feel like he suddenly started calling her "wife" just to make himself more of a victim.

PetraNasima · 2021-11-26T15:11:50+00:00

If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it

millennialpink2000 · 2021-11-26T16:11:01+00:00

He dragged her through the mud for 10 years, she supported his addicted ass, and finally had enough. Of course it's "just as I'm turning my life around" and she's supposed to patiently wait another decade. WHAT HAS HE BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS?? Getting drunk and letting her deal with the consequences. I don't feel sorry for this loser who's externalizing all his problems that he causes

AnniaT · 2021-11-26T12:14:35+00:00

Cheating is low value (and I say this weather it's a man or woman cheating and regardless of the "motives") but he's also extremely low value and has kept the forever girlfriend shannanigan scam for all to long.

rainbowhelix · 2021-11-26T20:53:38+00:00

"I wAs JuSt STarTinG tO TuRN My lIFe ArOund". Suuuuuure, after 10 years lol!

He wrote barely a few sentences, and it's already obvious he has NPD. Everything is about HIM and his feelings; he doesn't care why she did this or how he made her feel. And everyone should have a crappy holiday because HE is. Wherever she is, I'm happy for her that she got rid of this LVM. Happy holidays indeed!

Need_2_dance · 2021-11-26T10:31:56+00:00

So he was a loser for the past 10 years and his gf-bang maid got tired of it lol.

Solid_Judgment_8026 · 2021-11-26T11:35:21+00:00

I saw this and really wanted to respond to it but decided against it. So I'll do it here instead.

The fact he calls her a wife (girlfriend) is laughable after a decade of dating, realistically they'd know if they wanted to make that commitment. The fact that neither one of them seems to have would suggest that they are in fact both wasting one anothers time.

She realised that he was a waste of time, 10 years and no ring, he's just getting his life together, and he wonders why she went and cheated? Like women generally cheat because they are missing something from their relationship, generally speaking women are far more better equipped and willing to discuss what is bothering them within their relationship.

Now I appreciate that this is a leap, and perhaps partly personal experience, but if this woman has been communicating with him that something he's doing is bothering her and he did nothing, up until recently, to start getting himself together and actually being of some value within the relationship then it's little wondet she went elsewhere.

IhreWerbungHier · 2021-11-26T12:31:24+00:00

he was just starting to turn his life around?

vaguelinen · 2021-11-26T14:06:31+00:00

I’m also curious about the timeframe for cheating. One of my ex’s was furious that I cheated on him. He had moved out we were that broken up after I dumped him.

hexriot2001 · 2021-11-27T01:01:17+00:00

she probably cheated as a way out of the relationship. not a good way to leave (very dangerous actually) but i can't imagine she wanted to string him along while having a side piece.

misandryisnotreal · 2021-11-26T17:39:57+00:00

NOT the top comment advising OP to make a list of everything important in OP’s life that isn’t the wife(girlfriend) as if such a list wouldn’t include LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE

Dstar538888 · 2021-11-27T17:30:48+00:00

Why do males think it's cute to playfully call you a wife, without actually making you a wife?? I don't get the joke and never understood why they did that....

HappyCoconutty · 2021-11-26T15:01:00+00:00

He doesn’t explain if the pictures were taken before she met him, only that he saw them right now and it punched him in the gut.

lostmillenia · 2021-11-26T15:13:01+00:00

Oh so he does care? Haha

ItsFreezen · 2021-11-27T15:55:06+00:00

Why am I reading it as "My girlfriend did have sex with someone before we dated and I found out by looking at pictures." Meltdown.

dogfart4 · 2021-11-26T19:24:56+00:00

I feel like people in here are excusing the cheating. Nope. Break up with someone. Please for the love of god. I don’t care how shit the other person is…just break up with them.

zbplot · 2021-11-26T16:31:41+00:00

Unpopular opinion but it’s not cheating if you’re not married 🤷🏻‍♀️

Upper-Scene-4787 · 2021-11-26T14:28:10+00:00

She could've left him. Cheating is abuse.

2021-11-26T14:26:28+00:00

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