Why I have trust issues and why we should be guarded.

MyLifeIsWandsXIII · 2021-12-27T07:47:23+00:00

Just one of the many reasons not to send nudes to anyone.

PenelopePitstop21 · 2021-12-27T08:10:52+00:00

How can anyone equate snooping on someone's phone with sending sexually explicit images of you to strangers? They are not even remotely on the same level!

PerspicaciousCat · 2021-12-27T07:46:43+00:00

It’s so sad to see the way she’s trying to reason with this situation. There’s no “working something out”. Her boyfriend betrayed her trust and she needs to get far away from him.

lansburysoda · 2021-12-27T08:19:50+00:00

And they wonder why this page exists. Dating men has become a hellscape

mareetran · 2021-12-27T07:56:57+00:00

Does it hurt any one else’s heart that she’s trying to believe he has no malicious intent when he claims this blatant violation of boundaries as “tributes”. Lvm see women as trophies and not human beings. I regret sending nudes in the past because now I think how many of them were used to boost a shitty guy’s ego? These men are so invested in impressing other men, they’ll share something so intimate and special. This should be an immediate dealbreaker.

Edit : also the way she feels guilty for snooping, distracting from the fact that she found out he did something that was incredibly fucked up, it’s so sad. She seems to mention his suicidal issues perhaps because she wants to empathize and rationalize with him? He has no compassion for her though. I’m also mentally ill and have suicidal tendencies, that’s no excuse to be abusive.

Edit 2: Hey everyone, thanks for the replies. I feel really terrible though now because it appears that I have been banned from posting on femaledatingstrategy. I’m unsure why from FDS since I didn’t include the subreddit name or the username 😔 I’m sorry to vent. I can still view likewise, but not post or comment. Sigh. I’m sorry mods if I missed a rule. If any FDS members can DM me, it’s much appreciated. I feel quite discouraged. This sub meant a lot to me.

Edit 3: A mod messaged me to inform me my ban is because my account had too much personal identifiable information, which I completely understand now because Reddit scrotes often do attack and harass women on here. I will try to make an alternate instead and submit comments/posts until I’m approved again. I’m sorry I got excited to post on this account after waiting for a flair all year :,) it will be worth the safety and peace of mind to get re-approved.

StrawberryMoon3 · 2021-12-27T07:45:19+00:00

She should leave him, point blank. There's nothing to work out

barbedwiredaisycrown · 2021-12-27T12:48:43+00:00

You guys will love this lmao, but in high school a scrote was trying to gain favor (ie nudes/sex) with me and decided one of the ways to do this was tell me my best friend's boyfriend had shared her nudes in a groupchat of friends this guy was in... it backfired big haha. I was like

1) why do you have nudes of my best friend saved you can send to me?

2) did you not call out the guy out who sent you the nudes?

3) why are you friends with people who trade girls' nudes? Doesn't that mean you're all bad people, including you?

4) when I tell my best friend about this, are you confident my bff's bf won't realize you're the reason I knew and could tell my friend?

Like this small brained scrote honestly thought I'd think he was a good guy for voluntarily telling me he had nudes of my best friend and that somehow, some way, that would get him closer to fucking me? I can't even with that logic lmaoooo

gfcacdista · 2021-12-27T08:08:26+00:00

This is a huge disrespect.

creamtart_ · 2021-12-27T08:13:26+00:00

That is a crime. Wilfully distributing an image without consent. You report it to the police, is what you do. Fun fact: it’s also considered a sex offence.

To the male lurkers, take note before you think with your scrote.

Specific-Composer300 · 2021-12-27T10:32:36+00:00

Ugh she should be filing a police report about him, not whinging on Reddit feeling bad that SHE invaded HIS privacy - what?!

ivesynthed · 2021-12-27T08:09:45+00:00

Oh sweetheart, not only is this grounds for a breakup, but she also needs to file criminal charges ASAP

brylm92 · 2021-12-27T08:13:40+00:00

So SICK of snooping through someone's phone being considered an awful crime that cancels out all the other depraved shit men do.

You only snoop if your gut is absolutely screaming at you that something doesn't add up, and if there wasn't dodgy shit like THIS going on he wouldn't give a shit anyway. I have never cared if someone used my phone or looked in my inbox because I never had anything to hide.

This is disgusting, tributes???? You can bet if she sent her own nudes to another guy he'd kick her out. She needs to drop this porn-ruined scrote ASAP.

afrodeasyak · 2021-12-27T14:01:55+00:00

Never ever send nudes. This is the only way to avoid such a situation and if the man does not respect your decision to do so, next him. Also I can't fathom the mental gymnastics this woman is doing to justify something that is entirely disgusting, a huge invasion of her privacy and putting the pickme role of not wanting to "kinkshame". So many of us are right to have trust issues when these types of behaviours are done by our supposed significant others.

souredskittles · 2021-12-27T08:16:49+00:00

Omg this girl is so far gone, no hope

Zubinka · 2021-12-27T09:55:30+00:00

Poor girl, she feels ashamed for snooping through his phone, even though she did it because he was suicidal, and when she find out he's pimping her nudes, she feels bad she didn't pick up on his kink, she feels bad he didn't feel safe enough with her to confess.. That's just so bad.. I am seriously worried about my kids in this world..

vaguelinen · 2021-12-27T10:32:17+00:00

I’m sure I’m going to regret asking but what I’m earth are tributes?

myeggsarebig · 2021-12-27T11:06:49+00:00

“How should I approach him?”

…with a restraining order.

TheGreatMastermind · 2021-12-27T15:27:42+00:00

HAH this exact thing happened to me!!!!!!!!! my ex shared all of my nudes without telling me (with my face attached) and then compiled a giant folder of my nudes and other mens girlfriends nudes all for cum tributes and then he showed me it like he was proud. my little pick me ass said “this is not something i’m comfortable with. please stop” instead of just dumping him and suing him. instead he did it AGAIN.

this is also the man that pretended to stalk me with creating a burner instagram (that he had photos and followers on) with the express purpose of dming me telling me he was stalking and going to rape me. i was in a public bathroom and got a DM from a stranger saying that he could see me and he was going to rape me and i panic and texted my bf, crying, until he gave up the act and said it was him. i fucking hate him.

eternalalien8 · 2021-12-27T09:49:07+00:00

maybe she's trying to rationalize staying because she fears retaliation- he has many compromising pictures of her. she needs to take screenshots/send proof to herself so she can tell the police, snoop again, delete everything, dump him, and run. if she ever feels weak for him she'll have the reminder he can't be trusted.

ifhewantedtohewould · 2021-12-27T08:47:49+00:00

She needs to leave his ass ASAP then call the cops!! Also we need her here to tell her that ‘snooping’ on your partners phone is not wrong!!

Mozelle99 · 2021-12-27T13:04:19+00:00

This makes me feel sick to my stomach. I don’t know which is worse, this scrote’s depraved behavior or her making excuses for it.

VintagePallor · 2021-12-27T09:09:22+00:00

"He didn't tell me it turns him on... I think we would've worked something out" aka "I'm such an enormous Pick Me I probably would have said yes to him sharing my nudes on the Internet if he only would have shared iT's HiS KiNk!!1!" The lack of self respect... Also for anyone confused when he uses the term "tribute" here I'm 99% sure it means "as dues to access this nudes-sharing forum". Pedophiles do the same thing, you have to share your own CP (🤮) in order to gain access to the "community", to prove you're one of them and worthy and to keep feeding the monster. This is a freaking revenge-porn cabal and he's using her body as currency.

Japanese_Lasagna · 2021-12-27T15:25:23+00:00

One reason among many why I have never and will never send nude pics of myself to anyone ever. These men cannot be trusted to not spread your private photos everywhere.

Optical_Optimus · 2021-12-27T12:08:27+00:00

leave him and spend time alone until you feel comfortable enough to date again or not, depends on how you feel sister 🤘

iacint · 2021-12-27T08:27:43+00:00

How to approach? If usa with a gun anywhere else with an order

purasangria · 2021-12-27T19:54:41+00:00

Don't send nudes, period. You never know when the "love of your life" will turn into a cheating scumbag; men cannot be trusted.

The only way that you can be assured that no nudes exist is to never take one.

lvrcalii · 2021-12-27T14:17:25+00:00

Wow. Just wow.

23eggz · 2021-12-27T18:04:23+00:00

I'm learning more and more that all these things I would do (like refusing to send nudes) that I thought made me a stick in the mud were actually helping me all along. Thank God.

Skittleschild02 · 2021-12-27T21:42:55+00:00

And that’s why I cringe when guys ask me for selfies. I don’t want to used as hot commodity for bragging rights.

Odd_Construction6742 · 2021-12-27T22:53:50+00:00

I don’t think you have trust issues. You are being appropriately cautious, and your worry is completely valid. Being guarded and having boundaries around men is healthy.

voidcactus234 · 2021-12-27T17:46:14+00:00

Wtf is a tribute?

SwampDwellingPirate · 2021-12-27T23:29:23+00:00

This poor woman is so gaslit by pick me culture that she feels bad for breaching his privacy, and that he should have told her it "turns him on" so they could "work something out"... This makes me sick.

quirkypinkllama · 2022-01-04T02:49:02+00:00

Honey, never send your boyfriend nudes if you don't want them shown to others or sent to others. All men do this. This is Dating 101.

I would tell him why you're dumping him and then never send nudes to a guy again. Tell anyone, "You want to see me nude? Gotta get there first and you'll only see it in real life, with your own eyes."

Title	Why I have trust issues and why we should be guarded.
Author	mareetran
Upvotes	678
Comments	58
Date	December 27, 2021 7:29 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/rphuhe/why_i_have_trust_issues_and_why_we_should_be/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-i-have-trust-issues-and-why-we-should-be.1090471 https://theredarchive.com/post/1090471

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