Fake flattery doesn't feel like a "privilege"

wtknight · 2022-06-27T00:28:49+00:00

The men who call us beautiful and interesting are just trying to score pussy and will likely drop the act as soon as they realize it's getting them nothing.

Men actually mean the looks flattery. They really find many women to be attractive. It's the personality flattery that women should take with a grain of salt, though, and is usually the type of manipulation that men use to try to have sex with a woman. Too much personality flattery when a guy barely knows a woman is usually a good sign that he's just trying to score.

DisplacedBitzer · 2022-06-27T03:48:11+00:00

How would you like to never ever be complimented? Never have any effort you put into your appearance acknowledged? Fuck man, I’d take fake flattery any day over literally nothing all my life. I got complimented on my sweater once. I was so stunned I scrambled to come up with a reply and regret not complimenting the dude back because he walked away too quickly. A friend said they liked my unremarkable eyes. I knew it was just an off hand conversation thing. That’s two, that’s it. Aside from kid shit, those are the only times I’ve been complimented. Fucking two in my life.

ScarAdvanced9562 · 2022-06-27T00:29:50+00:00

It’s like this. Would you rather only eat shitty cafeteria food for the rest of your life, or nothing?

I think most men would still love “fake flattery” over what they have now.

supershotmd · 2022-06-27T03:38:05+00:00

The men calling you "beautiful" are not giving fake compliments. The downside is, they have lower standards than you do and think many women are "beautiful" enough. But it IS a real compliment.

NyahFriday · 2022-06-27T01:18:03+00:00

So are you saying all these compliments are actually not inflating the ego and self-esteem of women and have no effect? That's hard to argue, especially with all the ways women (and people in general) use social media to seek validation and attention. Ergo fairly clear that even if all the compliments and validation are 'fake' it's still better than the alternative.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-06-27T11:59:01+00:00

It's not fake because you actually do get more relationships and sex more easily. So you can't say, "well, yeah, I cashed all these checks and spent the money, but sometimes it was fake and I couldn't cash all the checks (tears)"

2022-06-27T03:08:33+00:00

Yeah it would bug me but in the same way that tall dudes are annoyed by all the fawning, tall guy jokes, and stiff joints. I’d accept the annoying stuff in order to have a faster 400 or dunk a basketball.

At the end of the day, hot girls are on the top of the pyramid. It’s so painfully obvious and cringey the way guys trip over themselves at work to impress the pretty ones and do their job for them. I’d accept any privilege tossed my way.

Barely-moral · 2022-06-27T00:33:28+00:00

living as a woman means receiving praise and attention much more often than the equivalent man would - but scratch the surface, and it's largely fake

Even if it were fake and that could be argued it is still better than nothing.

The female friends who compliment us are quick to gossip as soon as we're out of earshot. The men who call us beautiful and interesting are just trying to score pussy and will likely drop the act as soon as they realize it's getting them nothing

Still better than nothing. Also, men don't drop the act as easily, treating a specific woman well even if he is not getting any from her is still a good strategy to get something from other women. You know, treat all women well so the one that you can/want to fuck does not hear bad things about you.

This gives women a deluded impression of their value, the sex realists observe, and it's doing them a disservice to never be told the truth.

Still better than a man's situation.

True, men are starved for compliments. But if the solution were to blanketly give men fake pity compliments they know deep down they don't deserve, for things they know deep down aren't truly special... Would it actually be an improvement?

Yes.

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2022-06-27T02:07:47+00:00

If one woman would compliment me every day. My confidence would go from zero to hero and maybe fix my extreme Social awkwardness.

toughestanswers · 2022-06-27T01:01:25+00:00

Do you want to drown or dehydrate

AloneOnTheStrange · 2022-06-27T04:53:43+00:00

Compliments and flattery are from the halo effect, and that doesn't mean it's fake. Most of the time these compliments aren't lies. They're very real, it's just there aren't the barriers against giving compliments.

If you're a man, women don't want to compliment because they don't want to be perceived as flirting. Men don't want to compliment, because they don't want to give you a compeditive edge.

For an attractive person, people will stop and pay attention to whatever you're doing. You build something nice, and people look at it, look at the details, tell you all the nice things about it.

If you're average, you get glanced over. No one wants to stop and notice.

If you're below average and straight up unliked, you'll be actively dismissed, no matter what you do.

Blueexpression · 2022-06-27T00:50:01+00:00

If that is not privilege , there wouldnt be so many half naked instagram models.

DrinkItInMan11 · 2022-06-27T00:40:09+00:00

You still have people who want to sleep with you, that's all that matters.

PurplePillEric · 2022-06-27T00:45:24+00:00

As a man, many people who have complimented me have then turned around and talked shit as well. I don't think females are unique in this.

If men got the same level of attention, they'd complain just as much as women do.

slightly_off_beat · 2022-06-27T01:23:06+00:00

I was thinking about this the other day and I like how you've put it into words. Great job thanks for sharing

0-13 · 2022-06-27T06:28:33+00:00

Wanna know what happens when you’re honest with people in the real world? They don’t like you

woosmon · 2022-06-27T21:58:11+00:00

Most compliments in general are vapid, that doesn't inherently make them worthless or predatory. Too much flattery is going to make a normal person feel uncomfortable, and too frequent flattery will have them doubting their legitimacy. Let's not get ahead of ourselves though and say this is just as bad as hardly receiving compliments at all. I can agree that flattery doesn't really help women, but only after a certain point. If someone only receives admiration on the rarest of occasions, then they're not going to feel accepted by society.

As for the privilege thing, why are both genders so much more likely to compliment women? A compliment is more likely than not the byproduct of the halo effect, which is something that's generally reserved for women and children, and comes with more benefits than just the odd expression of admiration from a stranger.

NinjaOfTheSouth · 2022-06-27T00:40:09+00:00

You say that as your in a position of having it constantly. Men don’t get flattery or compliments like that so that’s why a lot of men see it as a privilege.

Like me having strength and muscles could be a privilege to you but to me it isn’t .

TheRedPillRipper · 2022-06-27T01:47:09+00:00

This gives women a deluded impression of their value

Fake or otherwise, Flattery doesn’t give women, or men, a deluded impression of their value.

Self awareness is a choice.

blanketly give men fake pity compliments

The majority of men are logical. So derive far more benefit from accomplishments; rather than aesthetics. Most men will appreciate compliments. They however derive far more value; from accomplishing something.

Godspeed and good luck!

badgersonice · 2022-06-27T01:21:34+00:00

If men are so starved for compliments, why don’t they offer them to other men out of kindness?

It’s because what they want isn’t a compliment or flattery, it’s an in.

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daproest1 · 2022-06-27T05:55:16+00:00

It’s not fake. Either way I advise most men to never praise or compliment a woman (until after she likes him) for this very reason. It’s not appreciated or believed.

HazyMemory7 · 2022-06-27T06:54:43+00:00

The female friends who compliment us are quick to gossip as soon as we're out of earshot.

Get better friends. The men might be trying to score but the compliments are often genuine.

Cerrax3 · 2022-06-27T11:36:04+00:00

living as a woman means receiving praise and attention much more often than the equivalent man would - but scratch the surface, and it's largely fake.

It's not fake, it's shallow.

Praising a woman solely on looks is a doomed exercise, because looks fade, boners soften, and the beer googles will unfog in the morning. These "compliments" men provide to women are not fake or insincere, but they apply to a condition that is extremely subjective and can literally change with the wind. A girl that is thicc when she's half bent over a pool table to make a shot, becomes a fat-ass when the guy doesn't like her shutting down his advances.

He was initially attracted to her appearance, but once she wasn't giving him what he wanted, his brain activated a classic revulsion technique. It takes the thing that initially attracted him and reverses it so that he feels justified in destroying the relationship.

TomBerwick1984 · 2022-06-27T12:17:33+00:00

IMO if you think the majority of compliments you are getting are fake, then I think you're sound like you're surrounded by shitty people (and the issue is your social circle), and/or you have self esteem issues.

Also, I don't think you can comprehend what it's like to go a year without a single compliment from a person. I don't think most women could handle that, tbh - simply because they are used to receiving compliments.

Pigeon_of_the_sea · 2022-06-27T14:58:18+00:00

You need new friends if they gossip about you when you're out of earshot

Title	Fake flattery doesn't feel like a "privilege"
Author	LatterDaySaintLucia
Upvotes	27
Comments	160
Date	June 27, 2022 12:23 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/vliej2/fake_flattery_doesnt_feel_like_a_privilege/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/fake-flattery-doesnt-feel-like-a-privilege.1121336 https://theredarchive.com/post/1121336

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