Are there some men you will have sex with but not have a relationship with them?

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2022-12-16T05:57:05+00:00

For the same reasons a man will have sex with a woman, but not want to have a relationship with them?

We find them sexually attractive, but they're lacking some qualities we would like in a partner and/or have qualities we wouldn't want in a partner.

genieinaginbottle · 2022-12-16T08:26:21+00:00

If they're hot but dumb as rocks or just not relationship material, sure

ashpr0ulx · 2022-12-16T02:20:24+00:00

yeah. i’ve been sexually attracted to men but not romantically attracted to them. i might find the guy hot but we’re incompatible. something like that.

EulenWatcher · 2022-12-16T03:15:42+00:00

I’m not into casual dating scene, so no. I wouldn’t have sex with a man I wasn’t in long-term commuted relationship.

Blame_the_Muse · 2022-12-16T02:03:50+00:00

Sexual and romantic attraction are pretty much the same thing from my perspective. If I think a guy is cute and funny, I want him to be my boyfriend—not my fuckbuddy.

HighestTierMaslow · 2022-12-16T04:18:56+00:00

I never did that. I was never into casual sex.

Fearless_Trouble_168 · 2022-12-16T07:53:20+00:00

It's not cheating, it's "they're not long-term material."

A guy who's attractive and funny or charming but doesn't have his shit together and would clearly be awful for an LTR.

northernlights190 · 2022-12-16T02:24:12+00:00

In the past I’ve had sex with guys I wouldn’t have wanted a relationship with. Nothing to do with cheating, they were good dudes, they just weren’t people I would have been compatible with… too young, or we had nothing in common, etc.

Now, nah. If I sleep with a guy now I’m at least into seeing where it can go.

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-12-16T02:37:46+00:00

Just about all of them. I do not seek out relationships though I've had some in the past. When I'm on the apps I am exclusively looking for something casual. And no it's not a vibe they give off.

armpitpics · 2022-12-16T03:37:32+00:00

Yes if I were single. There are more men that fall in this category than men who are both sexually attractive and romantically attractive. This is a guy who passes the looks threshold, but lack other qualities that I need in a romantic partner. Being untrustworthy as a long term partner can be one of the reasons.

Novadina · 2022-12-16T02:26:57+00:00

Yeah I’ve had FWB situations with men that were not compatible for long term relationships. For example if they were really bad with their finances, or they wanted a lot of kids, or they planned to move to some place I didn’t want to live or that didn’t work with my plans.

CruelAngelGradThesis · 2022-12-16T02:22:27+00:00

For me would have relationship, would marry, would sex is a package deal. In that order.

Relative_Bee8356 · 2022-12-16T02:27:16+00:00

Yes.

Looking back the cheating possibility hasn't been a major concern. More like, they want kids, they live far away, they have unaddressed mental health issues, or just basic lifestyle incompatibilities. If I'm going to be in a relationship I want it to have some chance of lasting so a guy who eventually wants to move to the suburbs, have 2.5 kids and a dog is fine as a fuckbuddy but not boyfriend material. Same for the guy with the crippling untreated depression.

Birb-brained · 2022-12-16T09:48:52+00:00

No. I don’t have sexual attraction with men who don’t have good personalities who I would want to be in a relationship with. It just doesn’t exist for me. They could look like a perfect human but unless the personality is there I have no interest.

I have literally zero celebrity crushes for this reason. There are people I think are good looking, but that’s not the same thing.

NakedStreets · 2022-12-16T02:22:19+00:00

Do you have any friends that you like going to the bar with or going on trips with, that you wouldn’t want to be roommates with or give access to your bank account?

XiphactinusAudax · 2022-12-16T04:38:22+00:00

Yes, because romantic and sexual attraction, while heavily correlated, aren't one and the same. Several of my friends I'd be more than fine with fucking (and have). But I (probably) wouldn't date them.

I don't befriend people who I think would cheat.

2022-12-16T07:41:21+00:00

One of my FBs was polite, handsome and great in bed but not LTR material. He was too hedonistic and unsettled in life.

Or sometimes I sleep with someone, get to know them but I don't see much potential with them. Usually we drift apart.

Urbanwitch666 · 2022-12-16T08:55:29+00:00

Not really tbh.

I don't enjoy fucking around with no emotions. I also have a different preference to most women maybe being quite into women myself - I like gentle sensitive guys and I find masculinity a huge turn off. Even my BDSM partners have been gentle soft guys that know how to switch in the bedroom.

I have and would do FwB... But yeah the friend part is important. I'd want to feel like we could date.

2022-12-16T09:07:28+00:00

Yeah. It had nothing to do with thinking they would cheat lol. It's just that they weren't the type I was looking to date or be serious with.

Ainsleygz · 2022-12-16T11:01:10+00:00

Of course, but no thoughts of cheating.
They just have annoying personal habits despite being fun in bed

CimZim · 2022-12-16T12:27:51+00:00

Nope, I don't do casual sex. Sex for me is only within some kind of relationship.

Soon-to-be-Catlady · 2022-12-16T12:31:35+00:00

Yes, and the reason to not have a relationship are varied. During dating it often turns out that we are incompatible for a LTR, but we already had sex. Last guy that happend with was just not sharing my humour really, we enjoyed spending time together but I never had full on laughs with him etc. Just not what I wanted for a relationship.

thelajestic · 2022-12-16T11:22:24+00:00

Most men I've had sex with I probably wouldn't have had a relationship with. For me, I need to want to have sex with someone in order to want a relationship, but I don't necessarily need to want a relationship in order to want to have sex.

It's not anything about a cheating vibe. You just really need to have a very specific connection with someone for a relationship. With my husband we started out having casual sex but we just got on so well, we had so much in common, I loved being around him and wanted to keep spending time with him. We both felt really comfortable with each other early on to be our own weird selves without any guard up. This isn't the case with most people - plenty are nice enough and you have a good laugh with them and the sex could be great, but the specific connection part is missing.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2022-12-16T02:17:20+00:00

Yes, I was in this situation, I slept with a very good friend of mine, but I'd never be in a relationship with him.

I just don't see him that way, I can't imagine having romantic feelings for that dude, I can't have a crush on him. I've known him for a way too long time. Our personalities work really well together as friends and collegues/business partners, but not in a romantic setting, not as life partners. He just doesn't have that factor that would make me like him. We were straight up acting like platonic buddies 5 minutes after sex. Our friendship was never inappropriate in any way after we stopped the fwb relationship. Last but not least, he used to be a big manwhore. I know he's capable of staying loyal to his girl (he's in a very healthy relationship now), but it's just not for me.

I had sex with him because I was single for the first time since I was 15 and I was in a very bad place mentally. We stopped being fwb the second my current boyfriend broke up with his ex and we could finally start something.

Ducks_Are_Watching · 2022-12-16T04:20:20+00:00

Yes. Nothing to do with cheating, just didn't like their personality.

lle-ell · 2022-12-16T13:03:40+00:00

I once briefly dated a guy who wanted to be my boyfriend. He was really sweet and caring, and really hot... We slept together and he was good in bed. But after dating for a month or so I realised that he bored me to tears. I was bored when we talked on the phone. I didn't look forward to seeing him again. We didn't have anything in common. I didn't find him funny. He took my rejection gracefully, which adds to my perception of him being a quality person, just not the one for me.

ohdiddly · 2022-12-16T14:06:35+00:00

Yes lol

It basically just comes down to an incompatibility for what I need in a relationship, which I am extremely picky about. It's not that they're bad people or anything, just incompatible.

localmicrodosechamp · 2022-12-16T20:03:17+00:00

no. gross.

SecretAccount111191 · 2022-12-16T04:08:00+00:00

Yes. The bar for sex is low - be attractive and fun. The bar for a relationship is much higher.

catniagara · 2022-12-16T12:51:32+00:00

Yes. I know a lot of girls who sleep with guys who just aren’t public guys. Like he’s cute but he doesn’t have any social skills. My one friend married a guy like that, instant regret, marriage ended. He was always commenting on other women’s bodies and her friends boobs and stuff. He had sweet abs but you’re not introducing him to your mom or worse, your baby cousin.

Before you start acting that way hoping for casual sex, it can easily backfire into no sex. Very few women put up with any of these guys and it quickly becomes none.

Plus he would also say things like “that actual child will be hot one day” so if he’s not in prison now I’ll be shocked.

Correct-Warthog-9061 · 2022-12-16T04:58:53+00:00

This whole conversation is just if he's attractive enough but he doesn't want a relationship ill just have sex with him with no expectations of anything more

MistyMaisel · 2022-12-16T02:34:26+00:00

No. The female equivalent of this thing as far as I can tell is that I would be friends with men, but not date/relationship them. Because they weren't romantic relationship material due to being self-destructive, seeming likely to cheat or dip out quick, not really having jobs or a future, being kind of dumb, being doormats, etc. Sexual and romantic attraction are pretty much the same thing in my world. I wouldn't sex outside romance. If you mean can I find a man hot without going after him, absolutely. Much the same as above. A lot of my friends were hot guys....but I knew they were TERRIBLE decisions so I didn't make them.

But also, I wanna make clear, it's not always clear cut. Sometimes you're feeling things out via being friends and then one day you kind of make a final judgement after seeing some actions by them.

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Safinated · 2022-12-16T05:12:26+00:00

Obviously yes

Apprehensive_Cut_146 · 2022-12-16T12:30:25+00:00

No? Why would I want to be intimate with someone I am not ALREADY in a relationship with?

napthaleneneens · 2022-12-16T16:30:57+00:00

Oh yeah, and it had nothing to do with cheating vibes. Believe it or not women are actually not that concerned about that lol. Sometimes sexual compatibility can exist but you just don’t vibe on any other level. Maybe they smoke and you don’t. Maybe they’re very spiritual but you’re not. In my case they wanted to tie me down or wanted marriage/kids and I wasn’t about that.

IntegrityDJones · 2022-12-16T16:35:11+00:00

Yes absolutely and that’s been the men I’ve dealt with for the past few years. I don’t want a relationship so it makes sense we’re on the same page.

Why is I don’t want a relationship, but if I did I wouldn’t be dumb enough to start one with any of my old FWB. They’re assholes, just good looking and good in bed, which is my only requirement.

_revelationary · 2022-12-17T01:05:29+00:00

I have never had casual sex, so not in practice. But in theory, absolutely.

There are guys I’d definitely fantasize about but would never even consider for a relationship, usually because of a horrible personality/lack of shared interests. I need to enjoy spending time with a partner.

_lexxxi_98 · 2022-12-17T05:17:40+00:00

After my last relationship and before my current one there was two people that I would see every now and again. We would get food, hookup, talk and then go on about our days/weeks. We both knew what was up and kept it that way. The one guy I liked but I never pushed for anything serious, and the other one had started to like me more and more, but I wasn’t super interested in him.

2022-12-19T04:25:49+00:00

Most Women won’t tell you this, but the bigoted ones still have sex with the people they’re bigoted towards in some cases.

Title	Are there some men you will have sex with but not have a relationship with them?
Author	knowledgeseeker999
Upvotes	24
Comments	87
Date	December 16, 2022 1:44 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/zn2tgv/are_there_some_men_you_will_have_sex_with_but_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-there-some-men-you-will-have-sex-with-but-not.1143710 https://theredarchive.com/post/1143710

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