What do women mean when they say they want to feel protected by a man?

januaryphilosopher · 2022-12-07T22:23:09+00:00

They just want to feel safe. They don't usually expect anyone to actually protect them.

x_pyromance · 2022-12-07T22:16:36+00:00

Women in general want to be physically protected (height), financially protected (status) and emotionally protected (can cry, complain, and the man is a rock).

Edit: Love how the females are denying/lying about this. And also love how they have to talk about themselves egocentrically (world revolves around them apparently), instead of having a holistic view.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-12-07T22:13:46+00:00

both. i want to feel physically protected and emotionally protected.

decoy88 · 2022-12-07T22:28:40+00:00

I don't think protected is the right word. More like, you're together and it just feels very safe and cosy and pleasant.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-12-08T00:08:31+00:00

“I want to feel emotionally and trusting and safe enough to be able to fall asleep naked next to you and not worry about anything happening to me” is usually what it implies

starunner · 2022-12-07T22:43:51+00:00

I believe it more so means "safe" too. For me it also means that I—for example—would want my SO to back me up when I/we are in an argument with a stranger/friends/family (within reason, of course), and he should expect the same from me. We should BOTH support each other and try to be a safe and nonjudgmental person to open up to.

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dumbbitchcas · 2022-12-08T12:48:33+00:00

I want to feel emotionally safe with someone. Not feel like they’re going to constantly ridicule me, belittle me and make fun of me. I also would like to feel physically safe- in the safe that I dog wan to to have to even entertain the possibility of him killing me or harming me.

revente · 2022-12-08T02:54:38+00:00

No. They don’t mean a meaningful protection just a visceral feeling of being with a man who has physical characteristic of a big strong warrior.

CimZim · 2022-12-07T22:50:53+00:00

I don't want to be protected by my lover, if anything I'd prefer to protect him from outside threats whenever possible.

However I want to know that I'm safe with him, that when we're alone he will not intentionally harm me physically or emotionally. This is far, far more important than being "protected" against rare threats.

Perfect_Promise_943 · 2022-12-07T23:14:41+00:00

Generally, it means being able to be vulnerable without fear of attack or harm.

If she can be physically vulnerable (sick, naked, pregnant, etc.), emotionally vulnerable (cry, rage, be silly), and financially vulnerable (handle a job loss, pursue new job/educative opportunities, feel she will be fed and housed even if she has little income) then she'll feel protected. Same at most people. It's the ability to be weak without being punished or wounded for said weakness.

SmilesLikeMardiGras · 2022-12-07T23:28:20+00:00

yes physical protection and general vigilance and security mindedness. after physical attraction this is the most important thing to me in a man, above all other things

pinktuliplover · 2022-12-08T00:07:14+00:00

I want to feel safe.

He protects me physically by standing on the outside of the sidewalk, watches entrances, warning me when I’m doing something unsafe, and defends me in an altercation.

He protects me emotionally by speaking to me respectfully, giving encouragement when needed, and never giving me reason to doubt his intentions.

Diamond-Breath · 2022-12-08T00:46:21+00:00

Both obviously. Also, a man that provides makes me feel secure too.

Kronbopulus · 2022-12-07T22:54:57+00:00

A big broad guy has the natural physical presence of a protector. Even a deterrent… the guy in reality could be the most uncoordinated goof in the world but it’s the presence. A 5ft guy can never bring that presence no matter how much he pumps himself up to look the part. They will always come across as a pipsqueak and may even attract more negetive attention since they look the part of a victim

syndactylity · 2022-12-07T23:26:18+00:00

They want a man to protect them from nature, primarily other men, because men are better at it

upalse · 2022-12-07T23:01:44+00:00

People with inferiority complex and self-loathing when being offered help. It's not generally that gender specific, either. Men do exact same thing when they refuse to ask for help.

avoiding_a_stalker · 2022-12-07T23:35:56+00:00

I imagine it depends on who you ask but to me, it means a sense of security and stability, both physically, emotionally, and financially.

Physically, as in, if I’m ill / unable, someone who can physically take care of me and the household. Even small things like being able to open jars and reach shelves that I can’t falls into this category.

Emotionally, I want to know that if I’m having a bad day, I can rely on them to compensate when I’m not at my best and support me through it.

Financially, I want to know that we can weather illness, job loss, etc, and that we’ll mostly be okay (I.e could get by on one income)

Upstairs-Rip-604 · 2022-12-08T01:19:51+00:00

I feel protected by my family. If someone were to pick on me, my family would stand up for me. I stand up for my family too.

My mom and dad would try to protect me from physical harm. I would try to protect them from physical harm too.

MistyMaisel · 2022-12-08T03:30:29+00:00

Physically protected from harms, dangers, spiders, etc. It can be as simple as holding your hand on the stairs or ice, giving you a piggy back ride if you don't have shoes on, all the way to like punching a wolf or other human.
Emotionally protected: I can open up to you and you won't use it against me. You'll let me cry without making me feel silly or ashamed or weak for it. (I think it's often, for example, quite funny here that guys will call women weak or inferior for their emotional expressions...that doesn't make me feel very safe. That makes me feel like admitting anything hurts me is some display of my inferiority. Doesn't seem very emotional rock of you, sir.)
Financially protected: I mean, this really depends where the relationship is at, but on some level I'd like to think if I lost my job you could take care of me or if I became pregnant, I could do that. If we had children we could do that.
Sexually protected: I mean beyond the obvious, I feel safe to have sex with you, I feel safe you're not going to pressure me into doing things, guilt me about stuff, maybe take advantage of or lie to me, you won't hurt me, we have a plan about if babies happen, you're doing everything you can to make sure they don't.

Honestly, a lot of this comes down to protecting me from the worst version of yourself and others. And some of it is really stupid and just a feeling that for example, being the little spoon and having strong manly arms around me gives. It's about trusting the arms around you to always be gentle, fair, and out for your good and ready to go out of their way to keep you safe from harms and real genuine dangers. Even the ones lurking in your heart.

Infamous_Guide_8994 · 2022-12-08T15:54:19+00:00

it means he's 6'+ lol

anonymous-platypus1 · 2022-12-07T22:35:22+00:00

I want to feel like my partner is able to keep his cool in difficult times. Like he’s not going to fall apart when things get difficult every single time something happens.

Some women don’t mind being the one that keeps things together.

I would also like to feel protected from other people but really it’s just an illusion of protection: if a man has a gun and neither myself or my partner have one, there’s only so much we can do without actual training.

But also if someone tried to attack us, I’d do something to help and not just sit there. But I feel like some men would be okay with their partner running to safety if danger ever popped up. But really I feel like if there’s one attacker and two of us, we can definitely protect each other.

Other than that: I want him to feel secure financially and I want him to feel emotionally secure with me, and I’d like to feel those things in return.

Really, my mom and dad both told me that my partner should protect me from other men. Since they are generally at least a little bit larger and a little bit stronger, if I’m with a man that cares about me, and a man wants to hurt me, my partner should be the one getting in front of that.

KayRay1994 · 2022-12-08T02:26:09+00:00

wear a condom

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-12-08T02:35:40+00:00

Women think men belt each other up all the time.

2022-12-08T11:51:21+00:00

It's pretty simple, anyone who says that probably means they don't want people who are gonna manipulate or abuse them.

Which is actually more common than people wanna admit.

NotARussianBot1984 · 2022-12-08T12:25:37+00:00

Same thing when they say they wear heels. They want tall man. Doesn't have to be strong or skilled at fighting. Nothing to do with protection, just virtue signalling. Ime.

jobbo321 · 2022-12-08T14:53:32+00:00

It means they want a man who is, compared to themselves, physically, emotionally, intellectually and financially superior.

You can't be inferior to her. If she could beat you in a physical fight, make you cry in a discussion, feels like she is smarter than you or can buy more things with her wage, she will think that you are inferior and will leave.

Women always date up, never down.

Deadinthehead · 2022-12-09T11:51:19+00:00

When I was much more muscular a male friend of mine jokingly (but seriously) said he felt safe around me when we went out. That really stuck out for me. Just recently my mum said she felt my sister was safer whe she would go out with this particular girl who was quite tall and "thick". I get it, but having that as a dating criteria is ridiculous unevolved hominid shit.

BruddaMSK · 2022-12-09T15:57:36+00:00

They want a troublemaker type

LabyrinthianPrincess · 2022-12-09T17:29:14+00:00

Someone who can have your back when shit goes bad. Whether that’s against an economic downturn, a collapsed roof, an emotionally difficult time or a dangerous criminal. Women don’t like to feel like they’re the last line of defense and the buck stops with them.

2022-12-14T21:34:11+00:00

Both emotional and physical. She wants to know you are a trust worthy man who she can give her heart to and not be broken. She wants to know if the house is on fire and she is panicking that you will remain calm, have a game plan. She also wants to know you can physically protect her, from anyone.

Title	What do women mean when they say they want to feel protected by a man?
Author	EVS040901
Upvotes	12
Comments	109
Date	December 7, 2022 10:11 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/zffq7z/what_do_women_mean_when_they_say_they_want_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-do-women-mean-when-they-say-they-want-to-feel.1144366 https://theredarchive.com/post/1144366

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