Q4W: What do you think of men who want you to sign a prenup before marriage?

Zestyclose_Truth9999 · 2023-05-11T17:12:44+00:00

I'd think they're wise men.

I have my own familial assets I want to protect, so I'd completely understand a man wanting to do the same.

megapuffz · 2023-05-11T17:52:39+00:00

I'm all for it. I think prenups are good protections for all parties involved.

Novadina · 2023-05-11T16:47:22+00:00

If he had something before we got together and doesn’t want to share it as a marital asset, then that would be the smart thing to do, to legally mark it as an individual rather than marital asset. Whether it’s about distrust or not depends, I would need much more information.

ChadChasingB · 2023-05-11T17:03:31+00:00

It's mandatory for marrying me. He is not getting my family's assets.

crumblesnatch · 2023-05-11T16:56:54+00:00

If he had assets, I would think it's smart.

If he doesn't have any assets, it's... let's say "cute" that he thinks a prenup would be to his benefit lol.

Lyvicious · 2023-05-11T17:03:35+00:00

Depends what he wants the prenup to say, and what his reasons are.

AceArguments · 2023-05-11T17:16:45+00:00

Makes sense to protect the assets a couple had before they were together. I don't see any issues.

There are some women I know that are distrusting of prenups but in my personal experience they were either conservative, traditionalist, or religious and the idea of not sharing everything was a huge sign that the other person didn't want to give the marriage 1000%. In a lot of traditionalist views you're supposed to give everything to the other person; mind, body, and spirit as you would to God.

I'm neither religious, traditionalist, or conservative so obviously I think it's dumb.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-05-11T17:10:43+00:00

Depends on why. If he thinks I'm planning to take all "his" money or something, he's paranoid and probably not suited for a partnership like marriage. I'm considering one at the moment to protect my family assets to make sure they are legally always mine, but I'm not coming from a place of expecting to need it, which makes a difference. In terms of getting one just because I make more, I don't really care. I'd get one in that case if he asked, I guess.

HighlyFlashy · 2023-05-11T16:39:38+00:00

I used to be against prenups but I honestly don’t care anymore. If he wants to sign one, cool. My opinion of him won’t change.

Safinated · 2023-05-11T20:23:45+00:00

That he thinks I am an especially bad prospect and doesn’t trust me if he has to put in extra protections. If you don’t want to marry me, don’t marry me

MistyMaisel · 2023-05-11T17:39:10+00:00

Yeah, my opinion change. I don't want to marry him anymore.

Yeah, it obviously shows distrust, thus my not wanting to marry him anymore.

Yes, I will only marry without a prenup. I'm not playing this, "we're forever...maybe" game.

To each their own

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Infinite_Signal90 · 2023-05-11T16:40:35+00:00

He sounds smart.

mackenzie013_02 · 2023-05-11T17:22:52+00:00

I’d never talk marriage without discussing prenups before.

..and yes - it’s a form of distrust (not knowing what the future will bring), but it’s smart.

dishonouronmycow · 2023-05-11T17:29:45+00:00

I plan on marrying for love, but if we get divorced it’s better for a clean break. I want nothing from you or to do with you at that point. I’d happily sign a prenup that states this

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-05-11T17:29:51+00:00

I literally married my h in order to give him everything I had. if he divorces me, he divorces me

Popular_Accountant60 · 2023-05-11T17:34:37+00:00

I was the one that asked for a prenup. I want us both to be protected.

toasterchild · 2023-05-11T17:39:15+00:00

It depends on what he is trying to protect. If he had existing assets like properties he wanted to protect that would make sense, I looked into one before getting married too. Turns out that most assets can be protected without the need for any official documents by simply not comingling the finances. Keep accounts that existed before the marriage separate from investment accounts created during the marriage. Update your will and trust after marriage to reflect the different assets.

If he thinks that a prenup can protect him from splitting money earned during a marriage in case of divorce then he's got a misunderstanding of what marriage is and should probably reconsider getting married.

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-05-11T17:48:53+00:00

I've never dated or married a man who had prenup money. In retrospect I should have considered a prenup when I married my husband, because I make more money and have marginally more assets to lose than he does. But I'm not inclined to divorce him, and he seems content with me, so I'm not sweating it.

EulenWatcher · 2023-05-11T17:59:40+00:00

I wouldn't mind it if it made sense for our situation. I.e. if he had business or he had much more money than I did. But if my husband had asked to sign a prenup when we were marrying as two broke students, I would have raised a brow and asked him why he thought he needed it.

JSears90210 · 2023-05-11T17:59:59+00:00

The thing with a pre-nup is that it doesn't necessarily mean that one party gets nothing. It means that in the case of a divorce the asset split is pre-negotiated and a group of lawyers shouldn't be able to bill hundreds of hours to get each member of the couple less. (Although people often do hire divorce attorneys out of pure anger.)

A good prenup would be seperating assets when the couple gets married and having a fair calculation of how any assets acquired during the marriage will be split. Also, if someone owns a business the prenup can have language of how the business will be valued, etc.

thekinkyhairbookworm · 2023-05-11T18:23:10+00:00

I don’t have any issue with prenups and think they are a good idea. I honestly think more people should get them regardless of financial status. A prenup that is drawn up with representation on both sides and is fair is great.

chalkandapples · 2023-05-11T18:29:43+00:00

Depends on what's in the prenup. It would cool some of the warmth I feel towards him at least temporarily, a contract of yours or mine is not how I want to think of a marriage. But my parents and grandparents have lots of assets, and it would be a good opportunity for me to protect them.

Slipthe · 2023-05-11T18:34:28+00:00

Guess I'd have to read the stipulations of the prenup before I form that opinion.

AngeCruelle · 2023-05-11T18:40:14+00:00

I've grown indifferent to it. Prenups apply to the secular/state institution of marriage. I could not care less about that.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2023-05-11T18:41:28+00:00

I signed a pre nup. I earned more money but his parents have assets that he stands to inherit and my parents are fob immigrants.

It's smart and it's a good thing

Plastic-Exit-9679 · 2023-05-11T19:26:16+00:00

Prenups protect everyone. I'm a big fan. So was my husband.

ashpr0ulx · 2023-05-11T20:20:31+00:00

i prefer a marriage without a prenup, but my partner and i have discussed in-depth the instances where we would desire a prenup and luckily those points are the same for us.

we both believe in protecting a business if one of us were to have one at the time of marriage. we both believe in protecting things like inherited family homes or land, with some basic contingency guidelines. we would be open to post-nuptials for things of this nature inherited later in the marriage.

beyond those circumstances i don’t find it necessary.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-05-11T23:21:12+00:00

I dont care. Prenups get thrown out in divorce court all the time. I'm not the type to really try to screw over my spouse but thats me now with no resentment or whatever (apparently married people hate each other fairly often). Honestly I can't really imagine getting married to be honest, or rather how your perspective shifts when youre married to someone, more accurately. I just don't think about it that much.

houstongradengineer · 2023-05-12T00:15:05+00:00

I would want a nutual indifelity clause. I know I can be faithful.

If he's got something to protect and it's legal, I guess I understand. Never met a man who has so much more to lose than I do, though. Most of the US is broke, and we all know it, especially my generation and the slightly younger, more virile gen Z men.

begayallday · 2023-05-12T01:49:45+00:00

As if I would ever be able to attract a man with assets.

Title	Q4W: What do you think of men who want you to sign a prenup before marriage?
Author	wheelchairdrifting
Upvotes	4
Comments	66
Date	May 11, 2023 9:10 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/13ehtm8/q4w_what_do_you_think_of_men_who_want_you_to_sign/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-what-do-you-think-of-men-who-want-you-to-sign.1218993 https://theredarchive.com/post/1218993

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