Thread for annoying stuff your ex did

skirted_dork · 2023-06-03T19:09:23+00:00

I hated the double standards. She would bitch about a fork being out of place in the kitchen but then borrow my tools and never put it back in place.

ijustdontcare74 · 2023-06-03T20:18:06+00:00

Never tiding up after herself and just leave empty dishes in the sink for DAYS or until I got sick of it and did the washing up. I usually had to do a full days work, come home wash up, cook the kids dinner (she couldn’t cook for shit), then wash up again. Despite being the only person at home during the day (kids at school) the house always started off clean and was a shit tip by the time I came home. I lost count of the number of times I had to ask her to clean up after herself, it would change for a day or two then business as usual. Now that we’re divorced it kills me every time I go pick up my kids and see the utter state of her house, I feel like I need a tetanus booster just going in the front door. Filthy disgusting bitch.

_uCanDoBetterBrO_ · 2023-06-03T17:47:57+00:00

Constantly sleep in the kids room and blame me because “I didn’t help when they were little.” We never agreed on how to put them down I was more of the “kids it’s bedtime brush your teeth, get in bed, goodnight” where she’d lay with them until they fell asleep but then she’d often also fall asleep. I’d wake up alone and frustrated which led to a lot of rough weekends.

Rustyrockets9 · 2023-06-03T21:29:19+00:00

Breathing

Diablo_Canyon2 · 2023-06-03T21:49:42+00:00

Leaving the house thrashed and when I cleaned and she'd come home she'd say "Its still dirty". She'd never take out the trash, she'd hide garbage bags around the house. I'd open a closet and there would be a bag of trash in there.

She and her mom were fuckin convinced they were Cherokee or something. They got a 23 and Me to determine just how much Cherokee they had. Zip, zilch, nada, not a drop of native blood. Pure white English/German. They said the test was wrong.

mcoop1220 · 2023-06-03T23:53:02+00:00

She tried to tell me it was illegal to direct deposit my paycheck into a separate checking account I made once I found out about her cheating but before filing. Which is hilarious because she has always kept at least two other checking accounts separate from our joint one. It’s incredibly difficult not to bust out laughing when you get told that from the person who’s openly done the same thing the entire marriage without any issues. Everything I did was either illegal or abusive. Lady is nuts

grease_munky3 · 2023-06-04T01:49:32+00:00

Bitch about how I always wanted to chill at home and relax on the weekends, while she worked part time and lived her best life while I worked a manual labor job Mon-Fri sometimes 10hr days.

Complain about how I never spent any time with her kid and then would butt in and take control anytime I tried to do anything with step kid.

Blew thousands of dollars on a MLM and then complained about being broke and how I didn't care about her financial situation.

Obsessed over social media and what everyone else was doing in life instead of putting the fucking phone down and accomplishing anything.

Threw fits about people smoking Marijuana. Allowed her mom and bestie to smoke around our kids and never said a word.

I would always come home and eat lunch at 1 to eat with her and the kids. 1pm everyday like clockwork. Her and the kids starting taking their naps at 1 so had to tiptoe around and it finally just stopped going home to eat.

Glittering-Coat3141 · 2023-06-04T00:24:40+00:00

Being a useless cunt.

warrior_up · 2023-06-04T01:00:48+00:00

Posting on social media like she was a fucking 18yr old, using the kids as photo props to get more attention.

IceDue123 · 2023-06-04T01:44:35+00:00

When I would make plans, like vacation, my ex was not enthusiastic. I would ask where she wanted to go, she would say “somewhere else”. Thanks for the guidance.

Mister_Vandemar · 2023-06-03T17:37:16+00:00

She would accuse me of using “tactics”, and say that I always “flipped” things anytime we argued. I ultimately concluded that she interpreted any disagreement or alternative perspectives as being a form of abuse. Needless to say, trying to amicably resolve the divorce has been very difficult.

Any-Dare-7261 · 2023-06-04T11:16:11+00:00

Vindictive: She will never forgive & will hold a grudge FOREVER. It is never her fault, she has no form of accountability at all. Shame/Guilt is always someone else’s fault. She will enjoy making them suffer and there is no quarter. There is no such thing as enough suffering for her victim.
Active Distrust: She will question every action as suspect. She will challenge your integrity. You WILL be as terrible as she wants you to be. She will spread false allegations about you and gas light you to hopelessness. She will destroy your confidence. You will be a lonely object of contempt and disgust. Your desire to be close to her will be annihilated.
There is no safe place to fall: A good marriage has stability, reciprocity with your partner, empathy and a view of your partner as a person with value. She sees you as an object who should be honored to provide and care for her. Service will only be with a smile or she will punish you. There is no one to count on or be supportive, while she revels in the chaos she sews.
Accusations of being emotionally unavailable: There is a constant sense of tension and hostility in the marriage; yet criticizes you for not being vulnerable and available with feelings. If we try to have a deep conversation, she talks A LOT without explaining anything. I called it “word salad.” It was as if her empty explanations of ideas/feelings were attempts at mimicking someone WITH feelings. Her partner will be a villain for “not paying attention” or wanting affection also. You will be confused, take the blame for anything, have feelings of despair and THERE NEVER WILL BE A CONNECTION. There is nothing behind her “mask” or false self. Everything about her is false. From an authenticity perspective, “She is HOLLOW.”

toooldforthisnonsens · 2023-06-04T11:24:42+00:00

One time she left her belt on the bathroom floor for a year.

I refused to pick it up. I was the only one that tidied up and was tired of it.

It came time to move and she finally said "you need to pack the belt you've left on the bathroom floor for a year.......I refuse to touch it."

I replied "I own one belt and I wear it every day."

She discovered the belt was hers and didn't speak to me for days.

patsytheautistic · 2023-06-03T23:02:33+00:00

Accused me of wanting to fuck my friend’s girlfriend because she happened to be hanging out with my friend group one night.

DigitalisEffect · 2023-06-04T08:30:21+00:00

Never did the fucking laundry, dishes or took the trash out. To this day when I go pick up the kids for my time there is still trash pouring out of the can. It's pathetic.

jujumber · 2023-06-04T03:37:58+00:00

whenever she put my clothes away she would hang my shirts inside out and backwards half the time and put the rest in whatever drawer she felt like. I told her I would just do it since it was always done super shitty but she would just keep doing it like that. This is just one of the hundreds of things but for some reason this one popped into my head right now.

Ok-Quality-9739 · 2023-06-04T15:37:42+00:00

List is long.

Would use a new cup every time she wanted to make a brew instead of rinsing the current cup. Leave her clothes in a pile on the floor or random chairs in almost every room. Would leave dirty nappies etc in the living room. instead of just putting them in the bin. Would smoke or vape and lie about it. Would spend money on the about and lie about it. Would get really toxic when called out on lies. Snored really loudly. Leave used nose strips EVERYWHERE. Would use my face razor to shave her pits Hack my Google. Would ask me all the time "were you on fb or insta, saw you were last online x number of hours ago" Ask for a selfie to prove I was where I said I was. Email me at work accusing me of random affairs. Would constantly pressure me into getting takeaways 3 times a week even though I'd happily cook.

Think that's all...for now.

Spodee5 · 2023-06-05T01:24:51+00:00

Nothing was ever right. She was never happy with anything.

Do the dishes, not put away right. Do the laundry not folded right.

Build a deck….loved my deck, the landing and the stairs coming off it, refused to allow me to put a handrail down on it…..

Cook dinner not seasoned right

Build a fence, didn’t like the wood; despite her picking out the type of wood we used for pickets

The sky wasn’t blue u less she said it was

The difference between God and her is God knew she wasn’t my ex wife

Control is addictive

zazdude7 · 2023-06-05T06:31:25+00:00

Spending indiscriminately and haven't worked for 15+ years. No value concept of money.
In and out of depression despite many hours of therapy and many different therapists. Sometimes suicidal.
Not getting along with literally anyone, including her family, my family, most of our friends, except some emotional affair partners!
Downvote as much as you like, but zero sexual attraction after gaining 60 lbs and no intention of getting back in shape, in contrast I tried to set an example by becoming fitter over the years.
Untidy, no contribution to household tasks for days on end, despite not working.
In the last 3 years of our marriage, she started drinking and smoking, a lot. She became an alcoholic in denial. This was the death blow.

I always thought she'd get it together, but she never did, it only got worse over the years. Unbelievably I sometimes still feel guilty for leaving, but looking at this list, I don't know why I haven't left 10 years ago.

Acceptable_Photo6956 · 2023-06-05T12:39:58+00:00

I do know women for whom it doesn't apply. I used to think my stbx was one. Put it on another thread about how she tends to make choices and then tries to run away from the logical consequences of those choices. So it's de mos apropos in those situations. Like chosing to wait till I get home from work to go spend time with her friends and blaming me for us growing apart, or lending the neighborhood junky 500 dollars and telling me it's my fault our budget has a shortfall. I shouldn't door dash, but he comes around again the next time he needs money and she finds somewhere to pull it out of.

Acceptable_Photo6956 · 2023-06-04T12:44:48+00:00

Jack Nicholson in "as good as it gets" how do you write women so well?? Jack "first I write men, then I take away reason and accountability."

ranger69danger · 2023-06-03T19:55:00+00:00

Swallowed every single time she went down. Variety is the spice of life.

CommanderOfCheese45 · 2023-06-05T18:02:30+00:00

I'll just whine about the 'little' stuff, not the f$#@ing psycho stuff that I divorced her over.

Nothing was ever good enough.

I cleaned? Accounting of every random item I might have touched, or you just shoved it all aside.

Related to cleaning: Can't throw away any paper because they "might" be important. Especially all the frickin receipts.

So I don't clean because it'll get me yelled at. Then she yells at me for not cleaning all the same, but at least this way I don't have the double ego hit for having done my best and get yelled at for it.

"Just do it the right way" I did and it took 10x as long as "my way" and still got yelled at.

Loaded the dishwasher wrong.

Supposed to wait until the dishwasher is jam packed and there are dishes in the sink before starting the dishwasher.

Can't wash the dishes in the dishwasher until they've been hand-washed first.

Laundry can't touch the floor. Must be put in washer one item at a time, moved from washer to dryer one item at a time. Most items must be hung to dry (f$#@ that I'm never buying a 'hang dry' piece of clothing ever again, but that's not mentioning that even stuff that says 'tumble dry low' she demanded should be hung to dry . . . again, one item at a time. You know, just to make sure I'm not moving anything that's not supposed to be there).

Washer smells like pee but I'm not allowed to ever use bleach or anything else to actually clean out the washer, but it's somehow my fault it smells like pee.

"Why don't you take me on dates?" Because when I did you still complained about hating all the things.

Bought a house after considering several options. We agree on this particular one but she was also considering a different one. "No! I hate this! I would have finally been happy if we had gotten the other one!"

Eventually moved. Same deal, she was considering a different one but we agreed to one and then decided she "finally would have been happy if we had gotten the other one."

Did a nice finish on some wood benches. Didn't realize you're not supposed to shake the can of hardcoat so there were bubbles. I offered to sand it down and redo the whole damn thing even after spending hours and hours on it. Nope. She pays someone else to paint them plain white (and I think they look hideous compared to the wood finish, but hey, at least it's not my fault they look bad.).

Couldn't hang up any of our pictures because she would have been mad about how I arranged them, but she wasn't willing to do a lick of the work herself.

Was working on clearing out the garage after moving, she insisted on sitting there the whole time micromanaging me. I said nope. She then complained "He made me do it all by myself!" Heh. At least this way I didn't have to do the work and get yelled at.

Oh, and she made sure I always had to be the badguy. I had to be the enforcer of all the rules. If she was unhappy about something about a store or about some service, I had to be the one to make the phone call and act like a f$#@ing Karen -- and she'd get mad at me over not getting mad enough at them, even though I had no f$#@ing clue what she actually wanted me to say to them. Pretty sure every dentist and doctor she ever went to had her labeled as a PITA on file.

Defiant_Cucumber_920 · 2023-06-06T14:33:08+00:00

It is this kind of control behavior which has drive me here to read and contemplate. The final straw is now she wants me to quit my low-mid six figure job to move across the country because she “hates” the house we built. Everything is wrong even though she picked it all out. Now at 52 I should throw away what will probably be the pinnacle of my career so we can live somewhere “cooler”, what are we 16? I’ve seriously contemplated it but know no matter how “cool” of a place we move she will be just as unhappy in 6 months when the novelty wears off, and the move will probably then be my fault, she really wanted to go somewhere else. There is no winning, and if I disagree I’m gaslighting or lying or abusive. I figure if I’m going to take a 40-50% income hit like moving will probably do, I may as well get divorced and be happy.

Title	Thread for annoying stuff your ex did
Author	bnsrx
Upvotes	26
Comments	67
Date	June 3, 2023 4:51 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/13zih7z/thread_for_annoying_stuff_your_ex_did/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/thread-for-annoying-stuff-your-ex-did.1221188 https://theredarchive.com/post/1221188

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