Who is more likely to be the hornier person in a monogamous relationship where sex is great?

YaKnowEstacado · 2023-07-20T17:04:52+00:00

The man.

I'm married with a great sex life. We've steadily had sex 4-5 times a week for the last 10 years except for when I was on pelvic rest during pregnancy and after birth. I am always down when he initiates, but he almost always initiates. Because sex is simply "out of sight, out of mind" for me. I don't wake up wanting it like he does. It doesn't take a lot to put me in the mood, but "the mood" is pretty much a constant for him. This has been true of all my past relationships too.

roastpork99 · 2023-07-20T18:09:31+00:00

The man, no contest IMO.

I mean people come up with all kinds of reasons why women are "just as horny as men" but it just can't be true.

And ofc PPD and reddit in general is king for personal anecdotes; "well I'm soooooo much hornier than my man", alright alright maybe, but as a general rule I just don't buy it.

There's a whole industry (the "oldest profession in the world") that exists because of how horny men are, OFs is dominated by women. There's far less demand from women for prostitutes; some of that might be explained by societal norms, but the majority of it is simply that men as a whole are consistently more horny than women.

I think that continues to be the case in relationships.

Barneysparky · 2023-07-20T16:42:12+00:00

I can only speak for myself but when I have great sex I want more sex, and more, and more while the men I've been with are more, see you tomorrow

However, if I'm not having sex I don't think about having sex that much.

tonyghow · 2023-07-20T17:39:32+00:00

Likely the man because, testosterone.

But IME, relationships are so much better when the woman is hornier. There’s no convincing for the man to do. She will be more sexually creative and flirty, and sexual banter happens outside of the bedroom a lot more.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-07-20T16:45:18+00:00

Probably the man.

Lovers691 · 2023-07-20T17:10:37+00:00

Men tend to desire sex mor often in a relationship and report having more sexual fantasies that women, so the man most likely

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-07-20T17:16:51+00:00

I'm hornier than my husband, but he's also 58 and has a variety of health issues. He probably masturbates more, but that's because I am more self conscious about it when he is around.

One-Introduction-566 · 2023-07-20T18:08:00+00:00

I feel like usually the man but not always. My current relationship probably the man, my last one was me a woman but mostly because he had trauma that made it difficult for him

saraimarsena · 2023-07-20T18:09:29+00:00

ime, me

perks of being a woman are the back to back orgasms. and i suppose i’m a fiend, great sex makes me crave even more of it.

Workaholiconew · 2023-07-20T18:16:41+00:00

Depends on what you mean by hornier.

Men have without a doubt the strongest sex drive. Many men will do everything in their life to pursue sex when they need it...but...
Women can have more sex/orgasms in a smaller amount of time and may enjoy it more because of lack of satisfaction and lack of refractory periods.

grown_folks_talkin · 2023-07-20T19:12:55+00:00

Probably the guy, but it doesn't take much to get her started. In situations I've been in like this, I'd say 60/40 me.

The more significant thirst imbalance is for single unattached people, dudes are way hornier by most measures.

Motherofvampires · 2023-07-20T18:46:06+00:00

Depends on the age of the couple. Under about 40 it will be the man. 40 to 50ish it might be the woman, especially if the man is older than her. Over 50 it depends on the health of the individuals.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2023-07-20T17:07:16+00:00

Uh it depends? Like how old is the dude? What's his testosterone? Is one of them bipolar (if so it's them). There are a ton of factors that play in. Impossible to determine by gender.

neinhaltchad · 2023-07-20T16:53:32+00:00

I’m not gonna lie.

The Coolidge effect is a bitch for me.

It’s basically like clockwork, i coast for about 3 months on NRE and the sex is intense, frequent and great.

Then, eventually the novelty wears off and the NRE is gone. Things become somewhat boring and predictable.

It’s at this point that my “new pussy” radar becomes active again.

I can fight that off and manage it out of care for the girl I’m with, but it’s annoying how consistent the pattern is.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-07-20T18:20:39+00:00

If the sex is that great it's not going to be worth asking the question. Both parties will be very into it and neither will be obviously more so. (If you mean how frequently they want to have sex by "horny", I guess who it is, if anyone, doesn't really matter so long as there's no extreme difference.)

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-07-20T16:50:17+00:00

In my experience it’s usually the ladies.

“Finally I got a guy who makes me feel safe and takes care of all my sexual needs? Yes I’d like more please!”

GeneralFig6053 · 2023-07-20T18:27:17+00:00

The older women get the more their sex drive increase

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baiser_vole · 2023-07-20T16:42:29+00:00

Could depend on how hot the woman is. Men are so easily visually stimulated I think.

JNRoberts42 · 2023-07-20T17:27:07+00:00

What is their health like, do they have a religious or conservative upbringing, is there an equal number of orgasms, and are either or both sex positive or inhibited?

hungrychick404 · 2023-07-20T17:32:12+00:00

Probably the man but not always necessarily.

I personally have been in the mood for sex more than the men that I have been in relationships with. If I’m in love and the sex is great, I can be very horny. My ex once had to “take a day or two off so he could recharge” once when we were going at it multiple times per day once. I also have ADHD, so I sometimes wonder if I might like sex because of stimulation seeking brain.

I think women are more limited in their drive mentally while men are limited physically from what I’ve experienced at least

ComfortableOk5003 · 2023-07-20T20:25:06+00:00

ace52387 · 2023-07-20T21:15:10+00:00

The man is more likely probably. There are fewer barriers for men as a whole. No period, (no ovulation either but i think the negative drive with the period trumps the positive with ovulation usually?) pregnancy, breast feeding etc.

Even assuming the general sex drive is the same, the woman will have more gaps prob. Even if some women dont go through some of these scenarios, many do.

Obviously speaking only from minimal experience. Not a large sample size to draw from.

SoulBadguy0408 · 2023-07-20T22:28:45+00:00

I'd say the man just because, stereotypically, men in general are more horny and there's that whole thing about dead bedrooms where women are too tired to have sex.

However, funny enough I've definitely seen some stories of women complaining about how badly they want sex and their bf can't get it up or other similar things about how he doesn't want it which is an interesting reversal of things. If the sex is great, maybe women do want it more, but they just don't initiate it as often, so you'd never know.

I'm sure there are various factors to this kind of thing that aren't all easy to account for

kalashhhhhhhh · 2023-07-20T23:16:53+00:00

I mean I'm pretty horny for my man but he's definitely hornier than me.

It's kinda funny, we can makeout for like 45 seconds and he gets a raging boner and becomes obnoxiously horny while I'm like wtf I could kiss your face for the next hour

coldhazel · 2023-07-21T02:38:24+00:00

If you just love each other and enjoy the sex, the man is gonna want it more. If the woman is actually very sexually attracted to the man instead of just love/enjoying the sex, she'll want it more than him and he'll start to feel the coolidge effect.

MachineEqual4328 · 2023-07-21T06:05:57+00:00

It depends on a lot of things. Most people would say the man but in my relationship it’s definitely equal. Sometimes he’s hornier and sometimes I am. I’ve seen a few women in the replies saying they only have a responsive sex drive and not a spontaneous one. I seem to have both, definitely spontaneous around the time I’m ovulating and even on some other occasions when I’m not but responsive most other times. As others have said if a man knows what gets his woman in the mood the it’s very easy to trigger to responsive sex drive. When I was single not having sex for long periods never bothered me so men and women are definitely different in that regard.

2023-07-21T13:39:44+00:00

I don’t think that this is relevant in a relationship because it goes both ways tbh just get w a partner who has the same sexual drive as you🙄

thesaus223 · 2023-07-21T15:46:45+00:00

Hate to be that guy, but one answer. With a much used quote. "It's too cold"

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-07-21T17:37:17+00:00

The man is still typically hornier, but you’ll generally see less of a gap in this sort of a relationship than between single men and women or in a not so great relationship.

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-07-21T19:24:22+00:00

In our 20s, my husband.

In our 30s right now, me.

Women peak sexually in their 30's (the weekish of ovulation time I turn into a teenage boy, it also remains a week after). I wonder if this is why women's sexuality peaks in their 30s...its a "going out of business" sale.

Things may be different a decade from now.

Title	Who is more likely to be the hornier person in a monogamous relationship where sex is great?
Author	bitcoinisbubble
Upvotes	1
Comments	44
Date	July 20, 2023 4:33 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/154vw0p/who_is_more_likely_to_be_the_hornier_person_in_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/who-is-more-likely-to-be-the-hornier-person-in-a.1225884 https://theredarchive.com/post/1225884

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