What's the difference between the guys who get the girls and the guys who don't?

foxman987 · 2022-09-22T08:15:20+00:00

[deleted]

BensonInFL · 2022-09-22T06:38:32+00:00

My text game does suck though. Like how the hell do guys learn how to sext and escalate conversations? With most women from cold approaches, they don't reply back after a few messages anyway. So that's one thing I want to learn, how to be a flirtatious texter.

I'm guessing based on your comment that you try to flirt too much and/or too early, instead of building comfort and demonstrating higher value.

Also, text game is mostly about logistics and meeting up, you don't want to spend a lot of time (days/weeks) texting.

-B

cangero0 · 2022-09-22T06:32:09+00:00

Sounds to me that you're getting results

cronasminate · 2022-09-22T17:22:18+00:00

One big difference. Men who get girls step up to the competition. Men who don't, feel bad and get discouraged by competition. From an evolutionary stand point procreation weeds out both with weak genes and weak willed because game theory dictates that it will always be difficult to date. You will always be competing for women no matter what era you are in.

The difference is your raw genetics which is luck of the draw, and if you are within average, then your will to out compete other males.

MasterTeacher123 · 2022-09-22T10:26:35+00:00

Charisma and simply opening your mouth lol

Closed mouths don’t get fed

PullHerMando · 2022-09-22T05:48:18+00:00

Confidence and charisma

2022-09-22T06:09:47+00:00

Looks, height, money, and status...and seduction skills of course

Suspicious-State · 2022-09-22T09:15:01+00:00

Neediness

vegeta1418 · 2022-09-22T05:08:51+00:00

Have you ever bothered to ask those 2 guys how they get women so easily? Also, are the women they sleep with good quality women or just basic boring ones?

caesarfecit · 2022-09-22T14:24:03+00:00

The real difference between guys who get laid and guys who don't is courage. Mark Manson makes this exact point, arguing that lifestyle may influence the quality of girls in your life, and your communication skills influence your batting average, your courage influences your actual results, quantity-wise. And in my experience, this observation is straight truth.

And not just the courage to approach, that's merely the first step. The real hard part is staying authentic, staying bold, and assuming your own value. Most guys either run themselves down in their own heads, put on a mask of over-compensating narcissism, or jag back and forth between the two.

Most guys piss away good opportunities because they get too clever by half (while forgetting that girls ain't stupid), they dawdle, or they lose their nerve. Similarly, as others have pointed out, text game is playing her game. It allows her to flirt from a distance, risk nothing, and get a much better read on your interest level. Use texts to set up dates and flirt in person.

Similarly, the more willing you are to add value and show desire to her, the more willing she'll be to reciprocate. I've had countless situations go bad on me because I played it too cool, she assumed I was either not into her, or too awkward to make a move, and the moment was lost, or by the time I was willing to act on it, she had already lost interest.

So think about it this way OP. You're about to graduate. Most of these people you're never gonna see again. Live a little, take some risks, and be willing to fail. Seize the moment. And while you're at it, re-read Models.

rwalsh138 · 2022-09-22T14:52:15+00:00

Arrogance mixed with humility. In other words, you need to figure out how to be cocky and humble at the same time.

arckyart · 2022-09-22T14:25:00+00:00

If you are looking just for sex, women can smell that a mile away. Are you friends with any women? Maybe your goal should be to just make a lot of female friends at first. No expectation of sex, never push it there. See what happens. You are a good looking guy in college. I bet one of those friendships would turn into something more. But wait for feelings first.

Sufficient-Remot · 2022-09-22T16:48:19+00:00

Every indian boy is in same pain dude

bemore_ · 2022-09-22T20:14:06+00:00

Nothing is missing. You probably lack a certain degree of self control, a certain maturation of your growth as a man isn't quite there.

You drop hints of escalation being a problem over text but it's probably more of a mental than technical issue. Are you a man that knows what he wants, that can lead her? Then you would just step up, women are quite literally waiting for who will step up. You would just feel where she's at and try and lead her to whatever you're about. That's all it is, there's degrees of this - due to upbringing some guys are naturally clear in thought and action, women will be easier for them during some stages

It's a process of maturation. Sexual maturity is the last to develop, men mature slower. Try learning something new or taking more responsibility for something in your life, something small and easy but meaningful to you. Reading about how to improve your sex might help, maybe start with better foreplay

beenpimpin · 2022-09-22T07:42:44+00:00

if you're not having success despite constantly cold approaching then you are approaching women out of your league, simply as that. Im willing to bet you are only approaching the best looking girls in the vicinity instead of the average boring looking ones who you'd have the best chance with.

I see way too many guys only cold appraoching 8s and 9s when they themselves are a 6 then they get frustrated they can't get anywhere. One guy i know is a 3 that only appraoches 9s and blames his ethnicity for not succeeding but never once questions whether it's viable for an out of shape 40 year old with greying hair and a round face to be hitting on the hottest girl in the bar who's half his age. Dont be like that guy and don't be a snowflake, we can't all come first and get a trophy.

CoNoelC · 2022-09-22T17:01:48+00:00

Making a move. That’s the difference. And eye contact.

FeelingFix1021 · 2022-09-22T14:33:35+00:00

It’s confidence without a doubt. I’m a decent looking guy, 6ft, and make good money. Though I’m just not confident. I care what people think, I get nervous. That’s why a lot of guys do better than me, and that’s ok. It’s not easy to gain confidence but through dedication and hard work it’s possible

Hyphalex · 2022-09-22T08:29:41+00:00

Courage.

Do eet mane

jbo99 · 2022-09-22T13:37:04+00:00

Ironclad sense of self.

Ask out women and make your intentions known early and often.

This is what makes it happen. The second one for me took years to figure out. You've got to just make your position known and if she's not into it, no problem. She'll probably respect you more than you think. And if she doesn't, fuck it, she's missing out and you've got a world of other women to go talk to.

Matt_guyver · 2022-09-22T14:48:10+00:00

There was this video I saw about how Morgan Freeman, Mike Tyson and LL Cool J deal with women. There was another dude on there too. I liked what LL Cool J said the best that if you’re approaching women and displaying with your ability to be a provider, you’re doing it wrong. My recent experience would corroborate. It’s all about having goals and vision and something else going on besides looking for chicks. The provisional aspect is the icing on the cake, who you are is what’s important and, contrary to what they say, you’re not ok the way you are, you gotta get better each day. Don’t compete with anyone but yourself.

Hand_Sanitizer3000 · 2022-09-22T17:31:31+00:00

Confidence

Think_History_5682 · 2022-09-22T18:46:08+00:00

I haven read any responses but as a guy with a lot of experience, its looks

Anything else is BS

Now"keeping" a woman and maintaining a good relationship is another story.

Looks get you in the door.

snicky29 · 2022-09-22T19:33:14+00:00

bruh im Indian too and 6'4" & good looking but apparently i also have trouble landing the final product. it's the confidence in the end imo

RSNK10 · 2022-09-22T22:17:31+00:00

Rejection & indifference

below298 · 2022-09-23T05:33:37+00:00

The difference between guys who get girls if they don’t care who gets in the way of what they want.

As long as you portray value, strength, wealth etc doesn’t matter if you actually do or not. Appearances are everything now a days for attracting ladies.

BakarGubimGlas · 2022-09-24T16:12:17+00:00

Who get

Confident, Strong mentally and physically, fun to be around, has a purpose

Who don't

Needy, no purpose, too nice, no discipline

foxman987 · 2022-09-22T13:41:59+00:00

Hate to tell you, but height. If I personally could add 4 inches to my height and size (I’m 5’10). I’d get triple the pussy. If I didn’t change anything else. It is what it is. Don’t hurt the messenger

modidlee · 2022-09-22T14:59:57+00:00

Women will probably never admit this, and some may not even consciously understand it, but the main thing women look for is sexual attraction. It's not necessarily about looks, although that's part of it. It's about whether or not she can see the man she's talking to as a sexual being. He may be nice and attractive and a good conversationalist. But if a woman thinks a man won't be good in bed she's far less likely too even agree to go out with him. And that's often just a "vibe" a man gives off. When I met the woman I'm seeing now there was no cold approach, or real flirtation actually. But she told me she felt like I was "trouble." That's basically her saying she thought I'd be good in bed. So all I had to do was make myself available and let her know I was down and things progressed to that stage. The guys that struggle usually aren't really less attractive or shorter or anything. They're just missing that sexual aura women look for.

Daygamesimplified · 2022-09-22T15:22:50+00:00

Skill and confidence

Dactheguy · 2022-09-22T17:38:32+00:00

Don't be outcome dependent.

jaypb182 · 2022-09-22T20:40:50+00:00

looks

zenboy_69 · 2022-09-23T08:05:12+00:00

You have a binary view of success (either you "get the girls" or don't) and are comparing yourself to others.

If you want to get good at seduction you have to understand it's a long road with incremental improvements. Uni makes certain things easier but you're working on your cold approach skills which will help you wherever you go in life.

I dress well, talk and speak confidently, and appear interesting and fun. My text game does suck though. Like how the hell do guys learn how to sext and escalate conversations?

Just keep practicing. Don't expect your SMV to give you automatic success.

hairlossthrow4w4y · 2022-09-23T09:24:07+00:00

do you have a 6 pack and make 100k?

You don't make money yet because you're still studying, so how is your body?

I don't say this to be a dick, I say this because it brings up a valid point. You still have stuff to work on so there's your answer. Unless you're a perfect 10/10 you should constantly be busy working on yourself and it'll solve literally every issue you have with women.

INKEDx · 2022-09-22T16:11:54+00:00

I mean I’m not sure what your question is… you say you are good at cold approach and kiss women on the first date. Like where do you define men who “get” women. By your explanation I would say you are a man who gets women. I very rarely cold approach unless they make it blatantly obvious they want me to come up but usually because I’m happy being alone at a bar or club. I kill it on dating apps though it’s almost overwhelming and i have dates every weekend. Online dating you just need really great photos, a nice body and a profile that makes them laugh. Then you get good at chatting with them to get the number and schedule a date. Maybe your profile needs work cause in the “real world” you’re doing better than most

staggerlee718 · 2022-09-22T10:37:06+00:00

Well, for one, you are approaching which already makes you lower status and unattractive. Instead of doing this, start socializing with people for the sake of socializing without any expectations. Do it because it's fun to talk to people and get to know everyone. Do it, because it's fun to walk into your college bar and have the bartender and waitresses greet you and people at the bar saying "what's up to you".

As you get to grow into this social animal who doesn't have an agenda, all of a sudden women will be looking at you and saying "who is this guy, he's kind of cute". When they give you signals aka approach YOU, then you can walk through that open door boldly and without hesitations.

Jasonhardon · 2022-09-22T09:38:57+00:00

Hardwork

Capable-Stock-4699 · 2022-09-23T12:33:08+00:00

They are Chad’s and chadlites with good phenos/race, and we aren’t. That’s literally it

Throwawayadistance · 2022-09-22T15:17:36+00:00

The guys who get the girls don’t care about the girls. They guys who don’t get the girls do care about the girls. Be indifferent.

Gerald00 · 2022-09-22T14:22:30+00:00

the crazy thing about players, is that they aren't needy, and that attracts woman, so its an auto feeding cycle. Jealously and promiscuoity are easily forgotten by women somehow. Source: personal scumbaggery

leetcoder217 · 2022-09-22T15:55:53+00:00

I will admit that Indians are my least preferred race but I also think that its because I notice a starring problem from most Indian men. Even if raised in America. I’m not sure why that is. Also, i work in a retail store that has a lot of Indian women that come in and sometimes.. i honestly cant tell if its the same women I’ve already seen or if its someone new. I hate to say that but its MY truth. I find this to be the same with Indian men for the most part… sorry bud. Its not advice but I guess some insight from my own experience. I guess my takeaway is that you will just have to find women that are interested in your type or maybe indian women might be more open too. Not saying you have to date the same race but i do notice it can be easier to find partners.

Twix1958 · 2022-09-22T14:36:06+00:00

How about less focus on seduction, and more focus on living.

UglyaSFBOIIIIIIIII · 2022-09-22T21:30:48+00:00

Hot - guys who get girls

Average - guy who gets Hot guys sloppy seconds (possibly kid included)

Ugly - you're worthless, maybe get some money but you'll need millions and she's just using you as a ATM while getting dicc'd down by the Hot guy who's unemployed

mishka_444 · 2022-09-22T13:35:28+00:00

stop “cold approaching” that isn’t attractive and women are cerebral which means they don’t “fall in love” based on looks. If you cannot interest a woman it’s definitely a personality problem and not anything to do with looks or height, especially since women constantly date short/ugly men simply because they are “nice to talk too”

sidbunch6 · 2022-09-22T07:35:13+00:00

for texting, get them to show you their phone and how they text girsl after the first message

Do you see them approach in person a lot? Are these girls they hookup with more social circle or completely cold approach?

Successful-Try7035 · 2022-09-22T12:18:25+00:00

Confidence and idgaf attitude

Edit : also you should check out playingwithfire on YouTube for text game.

incognito3107 · 2022-09-22T08:29:54+00:00

Well, you need to cultivate that specific trait in you that would make women chase for you. I think that you are doing all the work, and girls seem low energy invested in your potential relation. If you make them eager to make moves on you, game will flip and you will just slightly manage to "naturally" get in bed together.

AshyBoneVR4 · 2022-09-22T10:55:13+00:00

Confidence.

Senior-Dot387 · 2022-09-22T11:42:16+00:00

Confidence

Aromatic-Bed2313 · 2022-09-22T14:05:32+00:00

Probably your personality

zapadz · 2022-09-22T14:22:10+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4xnk4zGx3c

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYmFAWvk0TU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovS27WQU5-g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXehvygXNEc

gillmanblacklagooner · 2022-09-22T14:44:31+00:00

It all depends… which girls? Some girls will find foreign accents an interesting touch, you know? Maybe this girls are not really in the mood and shouldn’t worry about it. And the cheater guy… is he sleeping with a lot of good looking and fine girls? Probably not. Beware the liars. And about things getting harder after college… no way! A lot of folks get in a good physique, get a decent money and a cool lifestyle way after college. So things can be better after college too.

TanishPlayz · 2022-09-22T18:34:19+00:00

Dating world in India is fucking ass, also an Indian here, steer away from this shit cuz you aint gonna get anything meaningful in here

NinetailsDestruction · 2022-09-22T23:44:58+00:00

I feel Indian guys who try to get western women always talk bad about other Indian guys to make themselves feel good. It’s kind of sad and it’s a pattern I’m seeing. Whether it’s because you have fair skin, rich or taller it’s for the lamest reasons. Stop comparing yourself to other people. Stop hating on your own kind and judging them. You literally go up to girls and talk to them and get their numbers. What else do you need? How to be less thirsty? Like no need to be like that with women and other Indian men. Just chill

didled · 2022-09-23T12:45:27+00:00

1.) They actually try to interact with women. 2.) They don’t try when they interact with women.

neotonne · 2022-09-23T22:37:31+00:00

Money. I am probably the most attractive person in this subreddit, get stares and smiles daily..... still too broke to initiate or maintain anything thus an Incel.

I think that's why someone like me struggles, while the less good looking thrive.

Title	What's the difference between the guys who get the girls and the guys who don't?
Author	hunterfest
Upvotes	197
Comments	141
Date	September 22, 2022 4:46 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xkrppb/whats_the_difference_between_the_guys_who_get_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/whats-the-difference-between-the-guys-who-get-the.1249563 https://theredarchive.com/post/1249563

Comments