[xMODx] Seddit Simple Questions Thread 1/21/13 (please upvote - zero karma)

scorz · 2013-01-21T20:54:19+00:00

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dialdfordesi · 2013-01-21T23:10:02+00:00

2 questions:

How do I go clubbing solo and not feel like a weirdo? I love to dance but my friends don't dance (I'm not setting up for song lyrics I swear), but it honestly feels less fun than when I go with a group. I also don't drink, so I need to find other ways to channel IDGAF mode.

When it comes to going out and trying to meet women I always shift my goals to getting work done, but I feel it's a defensive excuse to avoid approaching anyone. What advice can you give to break this habit?

koolaidman123 · 2013-01-21T20:06:22+00:00

A lot of people seem to suggest the best way to approach a girl on the dance floor is make eye contact with her first. I really feel like the chances of her proactively making eye contact with you in a club is low as hell, factor in the dim lighting and that whole routine is next to impossible. I feel like the best way to go about this is to (of course, you must be dancing and having fun first, instead of just walking up to her like a stalker) make physical contact with her first (I tend to go with a light touch on the upper arms, then start dancing with her while apart, and slowly moving in. What do you guys think about this technique, yay or nay? Can it be optimized?

LilKuch21 · 2013-01-21T19:52:22+00:00

Ask link

http://redd.it/1706j3

rickrossroll · 2013-01-21T22:04:59+00:00

How do I approach a girl who does not speak the same language as me? (I just moved to a new country and didn't realize how large the language barrier was).

lovedoctor11 · 2013-01-21T21:39:55+00:00

Let me start off by saying i've been following seddit for about a half year, and I have worked to perfect my game- I was fortunate enough to have a modest baseline. The problem i've been having is with groups of girls I am friends with. Often times there are a few I would love to get with, and it presents this question- which one do I go for, and how do I do it while leaving the other girls as later options and not upsetting them? I feel like if I get with one, it would be like throwing the others under the bus. Competition between girls has actually become a rare, but real problem for me. When those situations present themselves how do I work around them?

TL;DR: Girls competing with other girls (who are all legitimate possibilities for a hook up), how do I pick one without hurting the other? This has become a problem for me at bars and parties (i'm a college student and there are almost always girls I know).

edit: Combining the below answers, it seems like the attraction is a good thing I can play to my advantage, but like AreYouEvenMoist said, I need to make sure to get around in a classy manner and try to avoid publicly hooking up. Thanks for the clarifications!

Aldairion · 2013-01-21T22:01:15+00:00

I had a question about letting one girl go because I'm focusing on someone else.

adiyo011 · 2013-01-21T22:08:14+00:00

Does anyone have resources for where I could learn more about using physical touch to promote attraction?

I feel like in a college/classroom situation, it's not as natural for me to engage in physical contact versus a club for example.

Another question is that even though we promote escalating, escalating, escalating, what kind of time frames am I looking at? Once again, in the context of a university campus.

Considering my age of 19, I feel like girls of my age still are exploring their personalities and what they want. What I seem to discover is that I need to become their friend first to establish comfort before they'll consider me as a potential partner.

Anyways, would love some insight on these topics.

eetsumkaus · 2013-01-21T22:52:57+00:00

Good places to shake off AA and just generally get started if you're still working on losing weight? Going to bars usually kills my calorie goals, and I'm generally clueless where else I could go. I don't frequent any eating establishments either because it's really hard to keep within my calorie goals if I did that regularly.

Any advice?

TheSadNick · 2013-01-21T23:08:46+00:00

I was working with this girl at a beerfest (in January i know) last friday. We were both bartenders and we had fun teasing each other, while also escalating kino. She would be hit on by a lot of weird guys, one person was 24 years old, who had his father come besides him and had to ask for her number, for his god damn son. I would tease her with it, and act as her boyfriend when people got a bit too offensive trying to talk with her. I think i played it well. I did as i read on this subreddit, Agree and amplify. So i would give her has kiss when some drunk 40-year-old would try to get her number or if he harrassed her. I got her number but haven't taken it any further though. I am 18 and she is 19, if anyone is wondering.

TL;DR Worked as a bartender last friday, pretended to be a co-workers boyfriend which lead to a k-close (non passionate though) and #-close. My question is: Should i have acted any different?

BrokenEscalator · 2013-01-21T20:51:59+00:00

I have a really hard time trying to meet women, but my biggest anxiety comes from the thought of having to either meet them when my friends are there, or the inevitable interrogation if I do hook up.

My friends aren't judgmental people either, they take me out and try to get me to talk to women. To be more sociable. One also happens to be my flat mate.

In my mind, it would be perfect if my dating life and my friends never met, until I was in an actual relationship, should I get to that point.

Is that feasible, or stupid?

Throwawayseddit1234 · 2013-01-21T23:09:37+00:00

I kept seeing this one girl, a junior in college like myself, at house parties and other nightlifey events near my school, and although we'd never talked longer than a few minutes, the other night we finally spoke, kissed, exchanged numbers, and the next day we went on a date at a nice restaurant. We chatted for more than 2 hours, got to know each other really well, kissed again, and went our separate ways.

She's smart, driven, has cool hobbies that she's passionate about, and is also a total babe. Imagine the female version of seddit's alpha male archetype. How do I communicate how cool I think this girl is without seeming needy or supplicating? The date was last night, can I text her a link to a video I mentioned at dinner today, or is that coming on too strong? She doesn't have a fake ID so we can't do the standard meet at bar to grab drinks thing, but what are some other good date ideas that lend themselves to escalation/eventual sexytiem?

curryme95 · 2013-01-21T23:56:42+00:00

I just recently had a winter dance that i went to. I went with a friend of mine and we had a great time. also i dont really think she is interested (one of her friends says she doesnt necessarily like me, but may be "open to the idea")i went in a group and there was one really cute girl that i got interested in (not my date). we all danced together and at the after party we (me and the cute girl) talked a little bit here and there while most other people were getting smashed. i left the party and i was like shit i didnt even get her number. today, 2 days after the dance, i fb messaged her saying i had fun this weekend and asked for her number because itd be fun to hang out with her again. shitty part is it said she read the message like 2 hours ago but she never responded.

any tips on what i should do?

edit:shortened

GirTheRobot · 2013-01-22T00:12:11+00:00

On the escalation ladder, overt class 2 has something that says "Sitting next to her with her leg over yours"

Does this mean that she literally has her leg on top of yours? Do I just grab her leg and put it on top of mine or something?

philmiester · 2013-01-22T01:39:55+00:00

It be a lot of help if someone could answer the second example question.

Philosophicaltree · 2013-01-22T02:35:50+00:00

How do you escalate with someone who lives 90 minutes away? I can only see her once every 2 weeks. I've known her for quite a while, but I'm pretty sure she is/was at least a little bit attracted to me. Do the texting rules still apply?

Edgar_Allan_Rich · 2013-01-22T04:22:26+00:00

What are some key signs that a girl likes me if I just met her?

2013-01-22T01:02:43+00:00

There's a girl in my class who always touches my arm when she wants to talk to me. Now I don't know if she just does this to get my attention or if she's trying to say more.

Edgar_Allan_Rich · 2013-01-21T23:10:41+00:00

I've got one. How do you guys deal with your admitted weaknesses? Like the ones you are working on but haven't conquered yet? I wasn't really given much as a kid so for me its my career and finances. Been busting my ass for a really long time and the returns have been painfully slow. The uphill battle really stabs at my ego. Confidence becomes an issue with certain women sometimes. Tips?

Nimbo343 · 2013-01-22T00:55:48+00:00

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Nimbo343 · 2013-01-22T01:06:21+00:00

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drifting_ · 2013-01-22T01:09:51+00:00

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Edgar_Allan_Rich · 2013-01-22T01:29:42+00:00

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Penguin154 · 2013-01-22T01:52:26+00:00

I live in lower Alabama near Mobile. In this area there just doesn't seem to be many people in my age range (young professional not too long out of college.) What are some good things I can look into that will make meeting people easier?

isthisforeal · 2013-01-22T02:19:19+00:00

I have gone on a few dates with a girl, there is obvious attraction. She mentioned that she was talking to her friends about me. Some kissing on the last date. But we seem to have most conversations via text and I want to get away from that. Is it better to just call her or preface with a text asking to call?

robot_army_mutiny · 2013-01-22T02:28:58+00:00

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isthisforeal · 2013-01-22T02:33:13+00:00

Text messages response, to delay or not to delay?

Atmkilla28 · 2013-01-22T02:51:53+00:00

I'll just get right down to it. Everyday walking down the hall towards my next class I see this girl who is a year younger than me. We've made eye contact many times before and there's obviously some connection between us but the problem is that I don't know her name. So, should I just do the Hi my name is____ what's yours? Or does someone have a better way that I can approach this girl and actually start talking to her. Thanks!

SentinelOfLight42 · 2013-01-22T03:08:29+00:00

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Myselfv2 · 2013-01-22T03:25:51+00:00

How do you go about scheduling a meet with a girl who's really busy? If I suggest one or two days and she has a legit (sounding) reason how can I make it happen without being needy or too accommodating

ssk211 · 2013-01-22T03:57:17+00:00

A couple weeks ago I essentially pre-closed a girl, we had been talking online (I used to know her, then just hit her up) and met twice quickly but nothing happened. I had jokingly invited her to my house for a drink, and she agreed.

Now she's away at boarding school, and I need to find a way to make sure she is coming over when she comes home. I don't want repetitively text her to find out when she will be around, but she saidbshe would hit me up when she gets back. How do I do this?

N.B. I'm in high school if you didnt pick that up.

Avacell · 2013-01-22T04:20:47+00:00

There's this girl I really want to talk to. But its been an entire semester already. Is it to late to make a move? Here's some info: She's in my Chemistry class. She's basically the smartest girl in my class. I always see her alone at the end of class. And I always wanted to go talk to her but I've been to beta to actually make the approach. She never really stared at me or shown any IOI before. But I feel like if I were to approach her. I could change that. So all in all, I'm basically asking you guys what should I do? How can I approach right. How can I keep the conversation fun and fluid? Thanks for any tips or advice you might give.

Starting tomorrow this would be the second semester for your information.

soxruie1414 · 2013-01-22T04:20:54+00:00

Is it necessary to have a sexual frame or can you be successful with a fun, happy and energetic frame?

Edgar_Allan_Rich · 2013-01-22T04:25:04+00:00

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confusednewguy · 2013-01-22T04:33:41+00:00

I have read the sidebars on seddit and /r/askseddit over and over again. Yet i still do not feel like I know what im doing. I will give an example that happened to me recently. I went to a house party the other day, I arrived with my friends and realized i knew one of the girls from one of my classes, we were then all introduced to everyone and then it all started going down hill. I spoke to a few of them but received no IOI's or anything. I did not make a move on the girl i knew because she is much taller than me and i have heard that she only likes guys as tall as her. I know you are probably saying this is an excuse but i don't think I'm experienced enough to know how to handle the situation either. She did give me the "stop talking so much!" shit test because i was barely talking at this point. How does one react to that statement? i wasn't sure what to react with so i just laughed it off, please give me something to use against that line. Back to the story, next we head back to our place with a lot of the girls. As we walk there, everyone receives IOI's from the a lot of the girls, except for me. The most drunk girl actually wouldn't even talk to me, yet she talked to everyone else. This brought my self esteem down quite a bit. I am now wondering what i did wrong. I feel as if i lost it when i slowed down on the talking to people but also wondering if I'm ugly or something. I don't know why no one was interested in me at all. I do consider myself average but at this point i am starting to think otherwise, I do not know what to do now. I try to do everything i have been told to do from joking around playfully, using witty comments sometimes, a bit of kino, but nothing has ever been fruitful and everything has ended up with me receiving no attention from any girl. Any advice? (I also still do not know what to respond with to the "You talk too much!" shit test line.)

c1d2aust · 2013-01-22T06:03:48+00:00

How or what is the best way to tell how old a girl is?

2013-01-22T06:28:51+00:00

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watermelonpickle · 2013-01-22T08:07:35+00:00

This past weekend I went out a few times, ended up with 5 numbers. 2 of them were just me being friendly and accepting somebody's # that I didn't want. Anyways upon hanging with these girls again later in the weekend I realized the hottest one is a compulsive liar (told a bunch of blatant lies about her life) and then the other 2 I was interested in at all had no sense of humor and were just sort of stupid and gullible both giving obvious IOI's I didn't get anywhere with them, didn't even try. but would it be too wrong to call this a success since even though I didn't get laid I recognized that they weren't of high enough value for me to sleep with anyways? I mean, idk I feel kind of victorious in the fact that I didn't just settle and leave with one of them, when I was no longer interested.

SentinelOfLight42 · 2013-01-22T08:40:08+00:00

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SentinelOfLight42 · 2013-01-22T08:55:52+00:00

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Cloud20 · 2013-01-22T10:09:38+00:00

Your thoughts on taken girls. Especially those that flirt back but you can tell its not just for the attention - there's more there than attention seeking but the bf seems to be a barrier even when you never bring him up. Possible to have success in that situation without falling into the friend zone?

orihalcon · 2013-01-22T10:31:44+00:00

So i've been messaging a girl i liked. She is quite shy irl so i tried to loosen her up over fb by getting to know her better. Anywho turns out she was looking to flirt and i didn't know it. So in the next convo i tried to flirt much more but it wasn't done compulsively. I had to do all the work in the convo even though she seemed interested. Anywho i let the conversation die and its been more than a week since i have talked to her. Move on or keep trying?

SentinelOfLight42 · 2013-01-22T11:22:28+00:00

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paki123 · 2013-01-22T11:22:36+00:00

How to increase my self-esteem/self confidence. I do a bunch of stuff you guys recommend, but I still feel like shit about myself.

SentinelOfLight42 · 2013-01-22T11:24:14+00:00

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Ricey015 · 2013-01-22T14:34:28+00:00

Building attraction long distance before we meet up in a few weeks, was easy at first but now its quite hard should i carry on texting or just keep it short and sweet until we meet?

techslaves · 2013-01-22T15:17:58+00:00

I'm going to see an old friend from school a few days from now. I was never close to her but my best friend is (technically she's his girlfriend best friend at first). We're meeting up for a dinner and afterwards, a play. Any idea how i should get this girl?

ReadDinger · 2013-01-22T15:50:18+00:00

I don't have a problem meeting girls at parties or around campus or anything but I have a hard time establishing that I don't want any long term relationship or anything serious. Two girls have already misread me thinking that I would be a good boyfriend. I don't want this right now. What can I do or say to show this better?

drsatan1 · 2013-01-22T16:11:21+00:00

So I hooked up with this chick at a party last night. We had great sex and I got her number before either of us left. I'm awful about getting Day2's. How do I make contact with her? Text her today and set something up for tomorrow, or call her? I want to start a rotation but I seem to be limited to one night stands.

fmarti09 · 2013-01-22T19:31:47+00:00

alright, since this opportunity has presented it self to me i may as well use it. so i just started a new semester in college last week, and all the introductory stuff is behind us. there is a girl in one of my classes that is really attractive. last week on the first day of that class i got to have a short conversation with her, just basic introductory stuff. she seems pretty sweet and nice. she mentioned that she was somewhat introverted. that is something that we share. we are both 21 years old, and studying similar subjects. my biggest issue with this girl is now i don't really have a reason to keep talking to her because that first conversation was required by our instructor. how can i talk to this girl a little more with out seeming like im trying to do so? im assuming something a long the lines of just taking a seat near her and asking questions about the class or something. suggestions appreciated! thanks

ozenglish · 2013-01-22T21:06:43+00:00

Hey Seddit. I have one for you.

I am 38, not an old grumpy 38, but a generally easy going mutanty 38. I am generally fit and active when injury isn't an issue. I have been divorced in a rather messy way, and broke up with an excellent woman as I didn't want kids and she does.

What do you suggest for us more older chaps in the way of dating tips. Honestly, I am in the process of reinventing myself. This started with a good deep internal look at myself. I have changed a lot of my outlook on life just by changing perspective. I flirt with hot ladies on the train, with a definite weakness towards our Indian/Pakistani/Persian girls, and seem to be easing into it well. But, due to a very poor developing stage in my younger years, my ability to be something than a total gent and not express the fact that I want to satisfy not only her needs, but my wants has just left me in this limbo of being able to tell a girl that her eyes are probably the most beautiful things on earth. Then, yeah, that is it.

I have downloaded some of your stuff so I can read on the phone when I am out to try and get my headspace going. I don't think this is a simple question, but help would be great.

TsumeAlphaWolf · 2013-01-22T23:12:25+00:00

Hope this thread is still active.

Anyway, meet a girl at a club. We exchanged numbers & we've only had 2 "sessions" of texts exchanges. The first just some a normal exchange where I mention we should meet up this weekend. The 2nd exchange of texts I bring up a question about our kids (in a humorous way). She then mentions that she would love mix kids (me being black & her being white). She then goes to show me a picture of kids who are mixed and says that those are her guys nephews.

At first I text back something about our kids...but I just had to ask "Oh, by guy I hope you don't meant your boyfriend". This may be a chump move but I had to know outright as I wouldn't feel right going at a girl with a boyfriend. Her reply was just a simple smiley. I just responded by saying that's "Well that's descriptive. You gonna have to break his heart soon though". We then continued with some back & forth messages

Well guess what I'm trying to ask seddit, does it seem like a girl telling me she may have a boyfriend a long way into a convos that there's actually a chance for me? Not really sure if I should pursue this.

wagamo · 2013-01-23T02:38:43+00:00

How appropriate is it to game girls while I'm working? I work in a deli/sandwich shop near a big University and there are a decent amount of girls my age that walk in. While I can have decent conversations with some of them it's impossible to kino. I also don't know if I can get away with sexual innuendo as they are still customers. Perhaps don't shit where you eat applies here?

davedm · 2013-01-25T15:48:27+00:00

My issue is that not approaching. It's more of escalating whether its on the dance floor or sitting down and talking. What sets do I run on them and how do I escalate kino at the right moment to pull in for a kiss. How do I I close ( knowing the right moment )

LilKuch21 · 2013-01-22T00:12:39+00:00

Yet another question. Was introduced to a hb6.5 about a month ago. She's decently cute but not at all talkative. I didn't think she really liked me even though her friend assured me she thought I was super cute. After hanging out and forcing conversation I pretty much gave up and went elsewhere in the bar after seeing some other friends come in. That night I ended up f-closing. The next weekend I take her out to dinner and we f-close again.

The next weekend we go to different bars and she ends up texting me late saying her roommate is out of town and I should come home with her. Sounds good man. So we go to her place. We spoon and I start making out with her. Then out of the blue she denies me even from touching her. I ask whatsup and she goes into how I'm too "young for her". Mind you she's 6 months older than me. Weird considering she got into bed after taking her bra off. She just rolls over saying how it "isn't working" and I get pretty upset. I call my buddy and he comes to pick me up

Fast forward and she starts texting me out of the blue. She's always super expressive over texts and really quiet in real life. I ran into her at a bar two nights ago and she hung out with me most of the night while I did my own thing with a group of friends. She had to leave early.

Tonight I invite her over to hang out after work. Do I have a shot at making something happen again? She'll be here in a couple hours

EDIT: the night she denied me we were both pretty drunk. But then again so were we the first night I f-closed

RiseAboveIt · 2013-01-21T21:20:56+00:00

I made her my girlfriend. But we only see each other in class (Uni) and she's very hard to get her out due to different cities and the bitch is poor. I feel as though I could lose attraction by not seeing her except in class (where PDA is off limit) so I'm very handys and all over her in class (which works well but may die soon) and we kiss goodbye.

I refuse to text her loads since she's a shit texter and also because I follow the seddit rule of only texting to meet up really. I throw her a bone somtimes like xxxx and miss you once in a while/

So really I'm asking for ways to maintain attraction and DHV and that sort of thing. Any advice is welcome.

Title	[xMODx] Seddit Simple Questions Thread 1/21/13 (please upvote - zero karma)
Author	SedditModTeam
Upvotes	337
Comments	212
Date	January 21, 2013 7:47 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1708k7/xmodx_seddit_simple_questions_thread_12113_please/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/xmodx-seddit-simple-questions-thread-12113-please.1346139 https://theredarchive.com/post/1346139

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