Favorite one-liners that always get a laugh

mrhorrible · 2013-03-09T22:38:15+00:00

"I like your outfit. I was gonna wear the exact same thing tonight."

I've always liked this, I don't know why.

"Wow that's a nice dress, I have the same one." "Nice outfit, I wore the same one last week" etc.

People often comment on my hair, since I have fairly long hair. "Wow, your hair is really nice" "Thanks I grow it myself"

Babayaga20000 · 2013-03-10T06:38:59+00:00

Not exactly a one liner but this

takemylife · 2013-03-09T23:41:18+00:00

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Langd0n_Alger · 2013-03-10T00:47:07+00:00

see a cute girl working somewhere and if she gives an IOI you say, "hey, i've heard it's rude to hit on a girl while she's working, but what do you think?"

sirblake1 · 2013-03-09T22:13:23+00:00

If I see a girl texting, Ill say, "You don't have to text me, I'm right here."

When I ask her name:

"Laura." "What- MINE TOO! this is weird." Always gets a smile.

Or I'll approach a girl (usually at a place where there is dancing) and ill say, "look I just left the dance floor, I didn't want to dance with this girl so I told her I was going back to see where my friend went. Can you pretend to be my friend when she walks by?" Any random girl that walks by (pick a pretty one, that way the girl you're talking to will notice that you're not interested in looks) just start with "oh here she is- Heyyy where have you been! I was looking everywhere for you!" She will play along. Trust me. Then thank her and go from there.

Edit : sorry I just went into setups after that. First two work though :)

Aushou · 2013-03-10T04:41:28+00:00

Personally tailored to me, but I like to introduce myself as "Christian, you may have heard of my religious following."

takemylife · 2013-03-09T21:32:22+00:00

When fumbling with a drink or something like that, I often say:

"Excuse me, I was raised by wolves and it is my first day in the city."

It is not too self-depricating as I say it with a big smile. Often leads to a little inside joke and has led to me biting the girl playfully cause that is how "we play".

corey3 · 2013-03-10T04:06:46+00:00

I hi five girls then walk away. Later that night if she is still there I bump into her. She feels like she already knows me a bit and BAM conversation gets rolling.

Dispy657 · 2013-03-10T03:39:52+00:00

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snurrefel · 2013-03-10T13:20:16+00:00

Now you have to comb your hair, when she says anything stupid. Sounds much better in Swedish!

itsmevichet · 2013-03-10T19:03:18+00:00

My name's Dennis. Reynolds. You should come hurricane party. Bunker. We have bunker.

For the good of the species.

snurrefel · 2013-03-10T01:24:04+00:00

Happy birthday!

koncept61 · 2013-03-09T22:59:08+00:00

"I'm bigger and better than the Titanic, only 200 women went down on that vessel."

pjhollow · 2013-03-10T19:01:01+00:00

She asks "What was your name again?"

Me: "It was pjhollow, it still is, don't worry."

SilentA57 · 2013-03-10T20:03:14+00:00

Some cocky funny lines from David D:

You know it's a good thing you are pretty. (after dumb move)
This is the last time I let you out unsupervised
Baby gap
If you were any slower, you would go backwards in time
Yay +5 points. You were like negative 20. You really needed that ha
Hair comment(thanks I grew it myself)
That's not gangster.
You're sleeping on the couch tonight.
Shake head" kids these days"
Keep your fantasies to your self.

takemylife · 2013-03-10T05:32:28+00:00

TIL: you guys don't study pick up :/ most of these are flat out bad

olivedoesntrhyme · 2013-03-10T18:17:45+00:00

tough crowd guys

ritipo · 2013-03-10T18:18:21+00:00

I like to say a simple "hey, how are you doing?" followed by a enthousiastic "glad yo hear it" (or something in this lines) The point being that, if you want to get something from someone, saying this will make them significantly more encline to do it. Coming from r/socialengineering

1vibe · 2013-03-10T18:46:32+00:00

HAHA awesome!

".... Of course, it looks better on me!" (Or her, depending on the girl)

MC-Asymptote · 2013-03-11T14:30:34+00:00

You have a boyfriend? You don't need a boyfriend, you need a man friend. Say it jokingly obviously, it always gets a good laugh for me.

helalo · 2013-03-10T07:47:40+00:00

"my body is ready"

theseAreHardTimes · 2013-03-10T05:39:09+00:00

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LordPoopyIV · 2013-03-10T11:18:34+00:00

them : cashier

"do you need a bag?"

me : no matter what i'm buying

"no i'll wear it out"

Entershikari · 2013-03-10T07:25:09+00:00

When they ask me what do I do for a living

I answer " I do abstract sculpture on brioche bread "

baisketball · 2013-03-10T12:47:44+00:00

I love lamp.

rfranke727 · 2013-03-10T07:04:24+00:00

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Reforging_Souls · 2013-03-10T07:27:55+00:00

Here are some one liners to toss in if you want to make a girl laugh, found them in an article:

"I was complimented on my driving today, I was left a paper that said “parking fine”, so that was nice."

"You know what the best birth control is? Leave the lights on."

"Whenever a doctor hands a kid a lollipop, I like to believe it’s because he’s in a grudge match with my dentist."

arslet · 2013-03-10T12:25:54+00:00

How is the title comment working if you are a guy talking to a girl? Or is this seduction in a HBTQ type place?

joey0v · 2013-03-10T04:43:59+00:00

I really like that one man, do you have any more like that?

SurgeTech95 · 2013-03-10T02:03:07+00:00

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EklyM · 2013-03-10T02:34:03+00:00

CHALLENGE: Yell "Bazinga!" afterwards.

dangoree · 2013-03-10T04:03:16+00:00

To a girl, of course: Fuck me if I'm wrong, but you're Bob, right? Also, you: Knock knock. Her: Who's there? You: The interrupting octopus. Her: The interrupting octopus... You: (wrap arms and a leg around her.)

NahDudeFkThat · 2013-03-10T13:41:15+00:00

lol so many people who're taking these lines serious.

"yah have fun with jail time" "you must be good looking"

You must be retarded.

All of these lines work perfect with a frolic/troll frame. Every single one.

stunspore · 2013-03-10T06:23:24+00:00

"you guys wanna hear a dirty joke?" "...uhhh YA! for sure!" "okay, so these two white horses fall in some mud.........."

eyeothemastodon · 2013-03-10T16:05:38+00:00

Not an opener, but when with a girl you often have an opportunity to say "Sure," so instead of outright saying it, ill run this joke off quickly (best not to pause between lines) : Bert and Ernie are hangin out, Bert says to Ernie, 'Hey Ernie, you want some ice cream?' 'Sure, Bert!' (said in Ernie's voice).

Edit: Sherbert guys. It's kind of like ice cream. Has never once failed to pull a laugh.

synergy_ · 2013-03-10T01:12:28+00:00

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gigitygigitygoo · 2013-03-10T02:46:26+00:00

You got some great teeth. I want my tongue to get to know them better

Edit: I am never deleting this post...think it's funny as hell

YippyKayYay · 2013-03-10T08:18:03+00:00

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Title	Favorite one-liners that always get a laugh
Author	MGM420
Upvotes	332
Comments	230
Date	March 9, 2013 9:06 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/19zlb2/favorite_oneliners_that_always_get_a_laugh/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/favorite-one-liners-that-always-get-a-laugh.1348617 https://theredarchive.com/post/1348617

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