Does everyone has to struggle this much to get women ?

Turlast · 2015-07-07T18:14:46+00:00

A lot of this success is derived from their earlier experiences with women. They might've had positive reinforcement growing up, while many guys on here haven't. Getting girls was something that just came natural to them. I've been shit with women the majority of my life because of my own insecurities...which makes it way harder than it needs to be.

I'd like to think I'd be far more attractive and capable had I not dealt with low self-esteem for most of my life. Oh, well. Just gotta focus on improving and traveling your own path instead of wondering why others have it easier.

iedaiw · 2015-07-07T16:57:27+00:00

I realised one way is that they know which girl is in to them and which girl isnt, and be ready to move on.

Psychocist · 2015-07-07T16:59:00+00:00

Because they learned through experience. Studying seduction is like studying the lyrics to a song. It gives you knowledge, but it doesn't give you the ability to play the song. To do that, you have to start playing -- through that you will learn the lyrics, too.

Nobody needs to read a thing. You will learn everything you need to know interacting with and attempting to seduce women. We read so that we can absorb the experiences of other people. But without action, it's just fantasy, and it won't stick.

Agu001 · 2015-07-07T19:50:38+00:00

The process or becoming good with women is not 'learning' but an 'unlearning'.

An unlearning of all the bullshit beliefs and behaviours you now have.

Deep down in your core as a man, you know what to do, you know what to say, you know how to get the girls...

sillymallard · 2015-07-07T16:41:17+00:00

In short, they have some game, and they learned it from their dads, uncles, cousins, friends, or coworkers.

tivooo · 2015-07-07T17:13:33+00:00

I learned from being around basically all women through my childhood. I got comfortable talking to women. My mom's friends my sister's friends, my actual mom and sister. I'm pretty sure that's what made me good with women. on the other hand a lot of people think I'm gay haha

BeastAP23 · 2015-07-07T17:58:15+00:00

Yea man I feel like im trying to solve a puzzle or something with women while they are just being themselves.

piperson · 2015-07-07T23:34:34+00:00

One thing I've learned is to not try to get them but just go out and meet random people. When I go out, I talk to whoever is around. I go out and enjoy myself and if a girl happens to be standing next to me, I talk to her. I don't over think it. I don't have any aim other than to say hello. What ever happens beyond that is a plus. If we don't vibe I move on. If we do, I continue. Though I work my keno the whole time. Touching their arms or shoulders as I talk to them. I introduce myself and hug them, and can't ever remember being refused a hug. When you stop trying and just do, it's pretty liberating and damn fun.

Gamma_Male_ · 2015-07-08T00:22:50+00:00

I think all we see in seduction community are:

a) Unlearning some negative thought and behavioural habits

b) Learning some basic human interaction skills that normally we should be taught by older males in our families.

Also many guys that you see 'with girls' are not players they are just lucky to know those girls from their social circles it's not from cold approaching random women.

ChocolateHead · 2015-07-07T23:35:01+00:00

Most of this sub is teaching people how to do shit confident people do naturally. Also guys can't just go out and approach girls. I know a lot of rich, good looking guys who can't do that. Most guys meet girls through work or mutual friends or something where they don't need to do a cold approach. Also, "game" isn't required when you are dating a girl way beneath you that is already infatuated with you for some reason.

dafuqey · 2015-07-07T18:50:11+00:00

eye contact+ smile + Communicate with girls and make them talk. Once they start talking, they will not stop until they spit out every single word in their brain. Listen to them and find out what kinda girl is she. What she likes etc. If you like her keep her occupied with anything that might interest her, if you dont, move on.

SpectacularMan · 2015-07-07T18:48:47+00:00

The whole "fake it till you make it" thing that you see every so often on Reddit actually really helps. I used to fake being confident and outgoing, and at some point I got so good at it that it stopped being a lie and became reality.

This doesn't just apply to women. I noticed that people became much more interested in what I have to say and offer, and it certainly helped me up my game drastically. People just seem to gravitate towards me.

Humblebrag over.

gg4444 · 2015-07-07T23:45:16+00:00

Yes. Just like if you go down to the local basketball court, some guys are going to be pretty good. They just played their whole lives.

pop_rocksoul · 2015-07-08T02:53:54+00:00

Some men are naturally talented with women, some learn and some sit at home and complain they can't get women. Pickup is a skill that can be learned and the information to do so is readily available. The only way to learn to become better with women is to get out there and talk to them. It works pretty much the same as learning any other skill. Also, coming from an attractive guy, looks only get you an audition. Personality plays a much larger role in the long run.

alphamaleblueprint · 2015-07-08T16:27:15+00:00

Change your urge for comparison to inspiration. You are your own person and need to run your own race. I never attracted women naturally. Now I have more than I can handle whenever I want. When you see someone else succeeding be happy for them and realize what one man can do so can another. Keep working on yourself and don't focus on comparing to others. Use them for motivation/inspiration at most.

Emxif · 2015-07-07T22:27:17+00:00

Something you need to realize is that most of the guys you see with girls aren't cold approaching these girls in the streets and dating multiple women. It's most likely a relationship they fell into.

That being said, a lot of seduction is simply having your fundamentals down (looks+confidence+basic social skills) and taking your shot when it arises. It's pretty simple. You don't need to study all this to get girls, this material serves mostly to correct dysfunctional learned behavior.

this_guy2001 · 2015-07-08T14:23:34+00:00

I think most guys just happened to be at the right place at the right time, or possibly they met their significant other through family/friends/church. I really don't think most guys have game.

I'd almost be willing to bet if most of those guys hadn't met the girls they're with now, they'd be in a rut trying to pick up on another one.

alex0919 · 2015-07-08T15:52:51+00:00

They had the confidence to approach her, build a connection, whether it be on a date or not, physically and sexually escalate the interaction, and sleep with them. The girl happened to be attracted to him and went on the date, and let him lead her to intimacy.

Most guys in all honesty meet girls through social circle or work, or parties. They settle on the first girl who's interested enough to sleep with him. But again, most guys are ordinary, boring, providers - and they chase for relationships. Sometimes when a girl likes you enough, chasing works, but it sets a terrible precedent for the relationship, you're weak, she's dominant.

I'm not going to go into relationship dynamics or strategy for learning pick up. But suffice it to say, if you keep sitting here at the keyboard wondering, and never doing, you'll never know. Get out and build some reference points, take action; try new things, learn from mistakes, find a technique congruent with yourself. Seduction is about emotions, capitalizing, amplifying, recalling.

AbundyFtw · 2015-07-07T21:08:46+00:00

Some people are just confident by nature, even if they don't have looks, success or whatever to attribute it too.

skippytatertots · 2015-07-07T21:47:55+00:00

Advice look clean cut and relax and just be an interesting person. The rest will fall in place.

trebory6 · 2015-07-07T22:14:58+00:00

Yes. The difference is that most don't see it as a struggle.

enhac · 2015-07-07T22:18:33+00:00

They keep trying or just get lucky I would assume. But I've never had any trouble getting girls. In my experience keeping the girl is a lot harder then getting the girl.

rondeline · 2015-07-07T23:55:11+00:00

Are you comfortable in your own skin? Do you like you? Do you work hard to avoid being perceived needy? Are you fun to be around? Do you limit running your mouth when you have critical thoughts about yourself or those around you? You focus on what's great about being alive? Do engage strangers with a sense of positive curiosity? Do you have good hygiene? Are you usually relaxed and in control of yourself?

If any answers are consistently "no", then you might need to check your own shit because that's what is stinking.

nicechallenge · 2015-07-08T02:55:58+00:00

Imo everyone is different, a lot of guys got it easy con dating like a friend of mine who breaks with one girl and in no more than two weeks he is with another girlfriend. I was astonished by the way he was capable of having relationships or fwb whenever he wants. I began to wonder how and the answer that really sticks imho is this: he may not be good looking, extremely fit or really outgoing but he has natural fluency when it comes to dating and women. On the contrary there's a lot of guys like me who are not capable of having a great or even normal sexual and dating life. The reason I supposed it's the upbringing and some innate personality traits but who knows I'm not a sicientist haha.

justthrowmeout · 2015-07-07T20:32:44+00:00

I would say two things.

I think the game is getting rougher these days especially with women getting so much validation from online sources. They can be much more choosy
You can't discount the huge component that is luck. It IS a numbers game to be sure. And just like trying to hit lotto, some people will be lucky and some will be unlucky. All things being equal if you put in the numbers you're more likely to be lucky.

cammil · 2015-07-07T20:40:49+00:00

Seduction illustrates better than most that old notion of belief in oneself. The obvious equations don't add up. It's only about belief. The outcome really only depends on your most innermost self.

It can be hidden to some extent, but alas that path reaps course results, and is also ultimately unsatisfactory.

Girls are the perfect barometer of inner belief. They had to evolve that way. Do you really believe you have the goods? Some people do. Do you?

Change your innermost self. Change your beliefs. Let those changes shape your life. Don't hold on to them in your imagination and confine them only to dreams. They can bare fruit. They will then also shape your reality.

DaygameCoach · 2015-07-07T17:46:00+00:00

They have some game, either naturally or learned. Also, they probably aren't as negative and judgmental as you are. Some may even have been more willing to improve themselves to be better with women.

Stop comparing yourself to other men. You're really only competing with yourself.

Please don't respond with self-limiting beliefs or excuses.

Cuisine Daygamer.net

CongoVictorious · 2015-07-07T21:55:31+00:00

You want to "get" women? What would you think if a girl used wording like that? You should be trying to have authentic connection with other human beings, not trying to acquire females.

PunisherXXV · 2015-07-07T18:58:23+00:00

Confidence is what works for me.

ImJustSo · 2015-07-07T19:16:49+00:00

Looks is a small part of the big picture. If you look good and act wrong, you won't succeed. If you look bad and act correctly you can succeed. And well, if you look good and act correctly you'll succeed easily.

I was fat and unattractive, but I watched my male friends and family members interact with women and learned a lot. I learned how to be funny around women from Arnold. I learned to touch women by watching Jeremy ask girls about their necklaces or bracelets. I learned how to be bold and confident towards women from my father. The list goes on and on, but now that I'm older, in better condition, and just way more attractive, I've got my own way of doing things. I think people just learn from others, since we're social creatures and part of a society of our creation.

GeeCan · 2015-07-07T20:16:52+00:00

It's only a struggle if you chase it. Don't chase the game, let the game come to you.

masterdebater117 · 2015-07-07T21:26:10+00:00

Well, it couldn't hurt to be able to write a coherent title

HiltonSouth · 2015-07-08T00:39:04+00:00

they do if they have the grammar skills of a 7 year old

SirByron · 2015-07-07T19:35:28+00:00

The successful men know something that took me 2 decades to learn. Conditionally reject women continuously. Conditional rejection means you say 'NO' first with a conditional acceptance. Examples:

Unless you can cook, sorry, you can't be my girlfriend
Nice canines. Do you bite? If not, I have something for you...
You have a sexy look...but what else do you have to offer?

samirahmad2594 · 2015-07-07T23:45:38+00:00

The secret to getting totally hot women:

Don't be a Phaggot!!!

DONE! Let the loads of women enter into you now.

Title	Does everyone has to struggle this much to get women ?
Author	hdue89
Upvotes	95
Comments	112
Date	July 7, 2015 4:12 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3cfu5o/does_everyone_has_to_struggle_this_much_to_get/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/does-everyone-has-to-struggle-this-much-to-get.1390675 https://theredarchive.com/post/1390675

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