Wife has all her stuff packed. Last ditch effort or do I sit by idly

-AppropriateLyrics · 2024-06-16T23:32:35+00:00

Why do you want you? You told her to file.

Remarkable_Egg492 · 2024-06-15T00:09:23+00:00

In all honesty, if my wife were to have a side chick I would be completely fine with that.

However, the marriage situation sounds toxic.

I've heard people say that one of their biggest regrets is staying together for the kids and that kids are resilient and will get over this. They will probably need some therapy but sacrificing the rest of your life is up to you.

Boomhower113 · 2024-06-14T17:47:36+00:00

Maybe it’s just me, but since you two have been screwing since the separation, go for the three way with her side chick right before you throw her shit in the street.

Best of both worlds.

Librarian_Friendly · 2024-06-14T14:30:29+00:00

UPDATE: SHE DIDN'T move out. But was crying all morning before she left for work.

Old-Help9452 · 2024-06-14T14:13:01+00:00

Guarantee the emotional affair is because she couldn’t get her emotional needs met by you brother. Hear me on this, women act on emotion not logic like we do. You arguing and wanting to be right brings to the table an additional feminine aspect where the masculine (you leading and being an emotional guide as a man) should have been.

From what I am reading, and being perfectly blunt, she needs you to bring leadership and to stay in your masculine frame. Not argue with her about things that in the long run don’t even matter.

Advice? Fight for your wife. She is probably just hurt and, not to be sexist, being a woman. That’s it. Judging by the other guys commenting here you can see she doesn’t have many pickings when it comes to men who would actually know how to handle her feelings.

Source? Me, myself, and I after what I learned from 6 months of separation.

LonelyNC123 · 2024-06-14T12:41:08+00:00

But for the children I would say 'let her go'.

But....because you have children, I think you should spend at least 12 months in intensive marriage therapy. I think you and she both owe that to your daughters.

If nothing improves over the next 12 months, then, YES, let her go.

bk2747 · 2024-06-14T11:06:18+00:00

Go see an attorney and file as the petitioner. At 14 years, you’re on the hook for a lot of shit. The infidelity might just save you but you have GOT to get rid of that soft spot in your heart for her.

You either get on top of it and save your own life, you you do the typical husband thing and try to “save the marriage” while she drags you through court, steals all of your money, and you end up on the street.

Up to you. Mark my words, that good guy shit will wind you up homeless

Internal_Echidna5646 · 2024-06-14T09:58:35+00:00

No. Let her go. Maybe maybe maybe sometime way down the road you guys can reconnect but not now. There has to be changes/consequences for her & you to change in some way. The kids will figure it out.

She's moving out, count that as a win. Lots of guys would love that. Otherwise you guys are going to end up on an episode of Forensic Files or Snapped or something with all the arguing & other people involved.

As others have said, change those locks too. Get a few cameras set up outside. I'd bet money you'll catch them snooping around.

GroparuNemernic · 2024-06-14T08:53:47+00:00

If you really want her out, beg her to stay. She will rocket herself out the door, content that she had the final say. Then, it's all fireworks and freedom for you.

Ok_Seaworthiness9275 · 2024-06-14T05:22:19+00:00

Fuck that just get it over and done with, itll only happen again in the future

henrysmyagent · 2024-06-14T03:31:42+00:00

If the trash wants to take itself out, then don't stand in the way.

She hasn't been your wife or friend for 2 years. Move on.

shcma · 2024-06-14T02:30:43+00:00

Nope! Let her go. I’m not much further ahead of you brother.

Mine came out to me as bi in 2021. No biggie, but what was problematic is she had feelings for the neighbor. I tried to hold that shit together for 3 years. Lots of resentment, ended in an open marriage for two years, and then me filing for divorce in April. Oh an I still got the emotional and verbal abuse accusations thrown around after all the trying.

It’s hard…and will be for a while. But it’s a huge bandaid your ripping off. And an investment in you and your kids future.

I’ve got two daughters, 4 and 7. It’s fucking tough with the kids in the mix. I finally came to terms the arguing is worse than the separation. Its hard but we’re adapting.

I did just have a wonderful evening with my kids. Watching what they wanted on tv, cuddled on the couch in the basement while I read a book. I’ve had more time away from them than I ever wanted lately but I’ve been able to focus on being present better when I am with them. So it’s not all hell, just a lot of it, not all. And you’ll get through it and be better

MR-Ozmidnight · 2024-06-14T02:13:03+00:00

Look, I think it's over and is using you as a plan "B" If she wants to go, let her go if you try the "Pick Me Dance," she is just going to think you are a simp and you don't want that it sounds like she's made her mind up but is waiting for the right time if she can't or won't talk to you about it let her go, stop wasting your life on someone that's moved on find someone who will love you for you

UglyDude1987 · 2024-06-14T01:15:04+00:00

Sounds like its over.

She don't give a toot and is gas lighting you. Don't waste your mental energy. None of what she says will make sense at this point and that is by design.

stupididiot78 · 2024-06-14T01:10:28+00:00

Neither. Hold the door open for her and wish her well with her work friend.

berniefl44 · 2024-06-14T01:05:19+00:00

Omg even worse she had an affair with another woman.. lol .. kick her out lol

Enough_Youth_4564 · 2024-06-14T01:02:00+00:00

I tried to talk her out of this when she came to pick up her stuff (with her friends and filthy parents) , and it’s the only thing I regret in my divorce.

Accomplished_Gene176 · 2024-06-14T00:43:45+00:00

She 100% cheated, the relationship is over. Only thing you should ask her is if she wants you to help her pack.

BabyYoda55 · 2024-06-14T00:34:25+00:00

Sounds like you two aren’t meant to be. Time to let it go.

This_Train340i · 2024-06-13T23:10:33+00:00

Don't let the door hit her in the ass as she leaves, but leave she must. It's over brother. Put that dysfunctional relationship behind you and start living your best life, which is impossible right now with a woman dragging you down.

Grouchy_Software963 · 2024-06-13T23:06:41+00:00

hold the door open and let her walk... then shut it with legal papers...

TechnicalAd5152 · 2024-06-13T22:36:22+00:00

LET HER LEAVE ABSOLUTELY

Let her get all butterflies and gitty with her new love, and get those custody papers signed dated you need to work fast with this on before she realizes it's a mess.

captainchippsixx · 2024-06-13T22:05:39+00:00

Bullshit bro. You don’t know shit. She cheated. Let her walk man. There’s no saving it. But if she moves out she needs to help Support the kids. She’s thinking It’s lesbian inferno time.

bluephotoshop · 2024-06-13T22:05:27+00:00

You didn’t say where your children went. Did your wife take them with her or did they stay?

iSurvivedltd · 2024-06-13T21:40:45+00:00

Fuck that shit.

Let her leave and when the door closes change the locks.

Sooner she leaves is the sooner you can start healing.

ArtichokeSavings9472 · 2024-06-13T21:30:38+00:00

Get out of there start healing she had already moved on what she’a telling you is only the surface . Get to a gym reconnect with friends take care of yourself . Read books on codependency build a better stronger you and find the girl that wants to be around you not someone you’re trying to guilt into staying even after she cheated !

ColorlessGem-n-eye · 2024-06-13T21:21:57+00:00

Sorry man, but you can't say "leave" and expect them to stay. Unless it's my stbx... then the rules are different apparently. Cut your losses, remember the good times together, and hold on to those. It's time to work on yourself now.

mr21vp · 2024-06-13T21:07:39+00:00

Sorry to say but from the outside the marriage looks done. Time to move on and things will be much better on the other side. Best of luck!

Miserable_Ad_1172 · 2024-06-13T21:05:41+00:00

No man, I’m afraid. I’m all for fighting for a marriage and I tried damm hard. She sounds very confused. She’s had an affair, the abuse she’s claiming is nothing more than trying to appease her guilt for the affair. Please look after yourself and your daughters this is what’s important right now, let your future ex wife walk her own path. I’m so sorry this has happened but you can’t control other people. If you have offered to work on the marriage and she’s still not interested do not ask again.

Grand-Expression-493 · 2024-06-13T21:05:27+00:00

She's done bruh. Save your dignity. Let her go.

Title	Wife has all her stuff packed. Last ditch effort or do I sit by idly
Author	Librarian_Friendly
Upvotes	15
Comments	44
Date	June 13, 2024 8:56 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1df9iql/wife_has_all_her_stuff_packed_last_ditch_effort/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/wife-has-all-her-stuff-packed-last-ditch-effort-or.1521454 https://theredarchive.com/post/1521454

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