Are men the employer or employee of relationships?

shadowrangerfs · 2024-08-05T10:05:28+00:00

Going with this analogy, the man is the employee. In dating, the man has to convince the woman to date him. The woman has to convince the man to stay.

In this analogy, the man has to convince the woman to hire him. BUT once he's proven himself to be a good employee, the woman has to convince him to stay on the job instead of looking at other open positions.

DJ_Dialga · 2024-08-05T03:46:08+00:00

Neither. He’s the business partner in the joint venture.

EulenWatcher · 2024-08-05T03:43:14+00:00

A wife and a husband are co-founders, not an employer and an employee.

McPigg · 2024-08-05T07:03:46+00:00

Depends on the dynamics of the relationship, in a healthy relationship neither

SupportRemarkable583 · 2024-08-05T04:02:51+00:00

Employee. You can easily be replaced

2024-08-05T03:41:00+00:00

I think that the concept of employee and employer shouldn’t be compared to relationships. lol. Makes relationships sound like a living hell.

Appropriate-Peace-17 · 2024-08-05T04:01:43+00:00

I like using analogies to better understand complex concepts, but I think that to liken a relationship to a commercial exchange is to steal the love and the joy out of it.

The goal of finding someone to marry is to find somebody whose character you love, and thus, who you would love, comfort, provide for and protect, even through personal sacrifice. Of course, it would be ideal if your partner did the same for you. Romantic love is, at its core, the desire to be merged with somebody both physically and mentally, and if you're merged with someone, then taking care of them is like taking care of yourself. Maybe you don't take such good care of yourself now, but I'd like to believe that there is more motivation to take care of someone you love romantically, because with their addition to your "self", your self becomes all the more valuable.

Because of the existence of love, relationships are not like jobs or transactions at all. You are not "partnering" with someone on the surface level in the hopes of acquiring an external resource, like money, or in this case, physical comfort or sex. Rather, the love you feel for one another compels you to care for each other, often involving physical comfort. The desire is to be merged with that person, not to get something from them.

I get upset too when I read statistics like the one you brought up. However, they should not be a lost hope for men. Those statistics are measured by women being asked to rate men based on physical attractiveness alone. But genuine love is much, much more than that. You can see someone from a distance and decide whether or not you find them attractive, but love is delight in somebody's spirit. Someone's external appearance is very often a good indicator of the kind of person they are, however, real love takes longer than a single glance to develop. There is attraction at first sight, but romantic love does not come immediately. A woman's attraction is usually connection-based, even more so than a man's.

A woman who wants to determine who you are, and whether you are worth their attention, based on physical attraction alone, is almost completely doomed for failure in all her relationships. But you can become more physically attracted to someone by getting to know their spirit. Has it ever happened to you that way?

Even romantic love blossoms only out of genuine caring and affection for a person. Love can't be overlooked or ignored when you talk about relationships.

-Kalos · 2024-08-05T07:32:01+00:00

You guys are always obsessing with power dynamics in a relationship over just building an actual bond with your partner. Relationships aren't a competition for power, that sounds exhausting. I'd be miserable too if I dated like that

ta06012022 · 2024-08-05T11:28:47+00:00

The OKCupid graphs are instructive. Men think women are about normally distributed in attractiveness. Women think over half of men are less than 2/7 attractive and only 16% are over average attractiveness.

It’s hard to tell what either gender thinks from the OKCupid blog post, because they chose to include 0 star ratings and treated them as “least attractive”. That’s flawed, because 0 star ratings were assigned when you skipped rating someone altogether. Over 1/3 of men in the graph have an average rating of less than 1 star, which is the lowest rating that users could assign.

The authors of the blog post obviously should have excluded 0 ratings rather than treat them as least attractive. When I skip rating my Uber driver, it doesn’t mean I think he was worse than the guy who I assigned 1 star. It just means I didn’t feel like rating him. I assume the authors knew this, but realized they could generate far more buzz by including the zeros.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-08-05T13:11:26+00:00

Neither, because relationships don't work like that. Each side has the same rights even if they choose not to exercise them or struggle to, like in a friendship.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-08-05T13:24:49+00:00

Your thinking about it wrong.

It’s less a Hiring process and more the development of a joint venture.

Your not working FOR someone and they aren’t working FOR you. Instead it’s the two of you working in something special together.

nightcall379 · 2024-08-05T04:35:34+00:00

Women are the gatekeepers to both sex and relationships

They hold all the power, both in terms of dating, and in terms of the systemic power

TraditionalPen2076 · 2024-08-05T05:08:41+00:00

Every non chad guy is emoloyee. This perception that men are gatekeepers of relationship is bs

Fabulous_HonestTea · 2024-08-05T03:42:45+00:00

Are men the employer or employee of relationships?

Employee of everything regarding intimacy with women.

Lanaglu · 2024-08-05T04:01:42+00:00

neither, those are analogies, the point of analogies is to make a comparison to make a point you want to make, they aren't actually representative of real life.

There is an untold number of analogies you could make about men and women based on specific aspects of relationships in any direction you like. And I think it tends to do more harm then good as it's usually based on stereotypes and now rather than talking about the point you want to make directly people will just debate how plausible the made up scenario is.

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2024-08-05T03:49:34+00:00

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Unique_Mind2033 · 2024-08-05T04:46:44+00:00

They are each one eye looking out of the same face

obviousredflag · 2024-08-05T10:52:53+00:00

The relationship is the company, so the employer side. Both men and women are employees of the relationship. Men are the HR department, women are the upper management.

SaBahRub · 2024-08-05T12:02:52+00:00

They can be either, or a partner. Depending

apresonly · 2024-08-05T22:16:36+00:00

idk how many times women can say they want PARTNERS not hierarchy

Pathosgrim · 2024-08-05T05:06:41+00:00

Men are the employee and the other shit is the background check/social credit score

kongeriket · 2024-08-05T08:16:43+00:00

Women, for their part, also seem to come into the relationship with capital (the ability to make babies)

What's the usefulness in that if they're not willing to spend it? As evidenced by the dogshit total fertility rates.

BrainMarshal · 2024-08-05T04:04:14+00:00

Employee, for sure, especially nowadays.

Tywinlol2 · 2024-08-05T04:55:35+00:00

Man is a victim in a relationship. Essentially a slave at the whims of the woman who can abuse him, lie about him, exploit him, get away with all of this and blame him. Avoid Ltrs like plague gentleman there is nothing in them for us.

xxxMisogenes · 2024-08-05T03:55:56+00:00

Employer before marriage, employee after. Courts are the HR sods that ruin everything

Cactus2711 · 2024-08-05T05:18:37+00:00

Employer

Men are the gatekeepers of marriage

Women are the gatekeepers of sex

arvada14 · 2024-08-05T16:36:12+00:00

Men are employees. Any question that men ask about dating can be rephrased into employment terms. "Should I tell a woman I'm a virgin and never had sex" can be reinterpreted as " should I tell my boss I've never been employed before". Just like a job, this does depend on age a bit. You having an interesting friend group and social life acts as references for what you say and proof that you can maintain relationships. Previous girlfriends are previous employers that you should keep in good terms with in order to get decent references.

The goal of a relationship for a man is to become an employee who is irreplaceable to a woman. An employee can ask for a raise and get it because she knows he's that valuable. You have to be an employee that's so valuable that other employers want you, but you'll stay with this employer as long as you're treated well.

silverhippo15 · 2024-08-05T17:01:26+00:00

Relationships only work when the more capable party (usually the man) takes the reigns. Women need to be told what to do. They need guidance and reassurance. Not quite fit to be in a leadership position.

Upset_Material_3372 · 2024-08-05T17:57:14+00:00

Who makes the final say at the start of the relationship? The employer/woman, who has to do the searching and initiate? Employee/men, Who has the options should they need a replacement? Employers/women.

untamed-italian · 2024-08-05T17:58:16+00:00

Depends on the relationship, but most men are employees. For many men, romance is a 2nd job they have to pay to participate in

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