How do you escalate during a quick coffee date?

lildudefromXdastreet · 2024-12-30T04:23:48+00:00

I’m of the opinion that you should skip coffee dates and just grab drinks. The logistics are much easier and the vibes/ambiance are far more conducive to first date lays

TripleDigitNomad · 2024-12-30T05:45:02+00:00

Lots of bad advice in this thread lol. I love coffee dates for the exact reasons you mentioned and have brought home many girls from them, usually without much physical escalation at the cafe itself aside from maybe a princess hand hold across the table.

Since inviting them over to split some wine like you would after a drink date wouldn't really make sense timing-wise, you gotta have a different excuse. If you have a nice view, that's one excuse. Another could be to try a unique type of beverage or snack you have back at yours.

Another could be to show her your taste in music. Another could be to turn the coffee date into a dinner date by inviting her back to yours to cook dinner together. As long as the girl is into you, the excuse isn't all that important because she will say yes (as long as it's not too ridiculous).

notathr0waway1 · 2024-12-30T04:30:02+00:00

I just have a question, is this some sort of contest to see if you can get laid on the first date?

My greatest successes have come from pretending that I'm not interested in sex at all and then waiting until the third or fourth date when the tension is palpable.

The1WhoDares · 2024-12-30T04:53:20+00:00

I think u should do a couple things.

Make sure ur confident like tip top confident.

*remember she, is nervous meeting u. She’s human, just as u r.

It can go 1 of 2 ways.
Ask to see her hands bcz u want to compare them to yours
Ask if she’s up to go for a walk w/ said coffee’s and guide her from the back w/ ur hands above her 🍑. Then move to holding her hand as u get next to her.

From there, the ‘touch barrier’ has been lifted & u can see how reciprocal she is to allowing ur touch. If she denies u in any of those instances.

Don’t get down on urself, she just wasn’t feeling comfortable w/ that much pressure that quick. But keep going @ it.

Remember the turtle wins the race, not the rabbit. Slow & steady.. make her laugh, make her happy.

Only say positive things, show her where your state of mind is (in the positive).

She’ll cave, (& I don’t mean that in a negative sense) I’ve been on dates where everything just felt natural.

As it should, I went for the move. She denied me. I said ok, no worries. We’re having a good time anyways. (in my head). We were @ a concert. She was in her mid 40’s

I kept making moves & soon she was all ears. She told me that’s not wat she normally does. But she liked it…

I think everyone is different w/ how they perceive ‘first dates’

U can go @ it as… ‘if I don’t “attempt” to make a move she’ll think I’m not into her’ but she’ll respect me MORE for it than not

OR

‘If I don’t make a move…” & shes not comfortable w/ me & I’m not in my place of masculinity to guide, & show her wat fun I am. She will lose WAY more respect for who I am than wat I said above.

Always make a move, bcz it shows her your intentions. EVEN if she shoots u down, it will give her the feeling that shes wanted.

Woman LOVE knowing & feeling they are wanted by men (particularly YOU in this case)

Plane_Benefit7868 · 2024-12-30T04:16:24+00:00

Have some faith in yourself and trust your judgement. If you’re vibing, go for it. You can read body language and cues.

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2024-12-30T05:06:28+00:00

Finally, a topic surrounding my expertise! Upvote!!!!!

1 or 2 hours is ample enough of time to escalate. I like daygame because I can get to understand the girl well enough before having sex with her. So I might go a bit slow for your liking.

My first date usually dont involve kissing. Only my second date involves kissing. Girls will ghost you if you dont escalate to the point of sex within 3 dates.

I only escalate to incidental kino 3 on my first date. By the end of the first date I should be able to hold hands with her, hug her and touch her face. Of course, you need to combine this with strong verbal skills in which you should read my guide on how to flirt.

A coffee date is perfect for this, sit next to her and you can slowly escalate while building comfort over that 2 hours. Read my post on my profile on "pulling the girl home in one day, the fundementals of escalation."

appolonysian · 2024-12-30T04:45:51+00:00

I’ve done this a few times. Have a coffee date in the late afternoon (like 4, or whenever you get off work). I’ve rarely had a woman push back on coffee that late - if they’re into you enough to go on a date, they’ll go along with it. Choose a place near yours.

Vibe on the date and then mention you got work tomorrow, but would love to show them your X collection/instrument/hobby, etc. before calling it a night. Ideally mention this thing in passing earlier in the convo if you can. Take her back to yours with it being clear that it won’t be a long detour and then escalate there.

Build tension non-verbally as you normally would. Though your convo may be innocent, everything else about the interaction shouldn’t be. I usually don’t even physically escalate until I’m in a place (mine or hers) where sex can occur. Kissing in public feels to forced.

StepGeneral3597 · 2024-12-30T04:23:48+00:00

Coffee date is a good place to start. I would try to go somewhere else to escalate though. Like a park, a scenic location, wherever (building compliance is your goal) then eventually find a way to pull back to your place. A quick coffee date doesn’t lend itself to good logistics though.

Dandys3107 · 2024-12-30T08:34:43+00:00

You can still provide necessary intimacy level with coming close, sitting side by side, looking deep in the eyes, introducing some friendly touching, hugging, whispering, getting into personal topics. You can go as far as she lets you, the thing with day game is that you usually need to start from the very beginning, when girl’s mood is occupied yet with daily responsibilities. “Going for a kiss” should be more of a finalization of your escalation, there are plenty of milestones to be achieved, instead of conducting a standard date scenario and preparing topics to elaborate about, think directly how you can reach next intimacy levels with certain methods, moves, questions.

Yes_cummander · 2024-12-30T11:45:17+00:00

Sit close, show her something on your phone, look in her eyes, flip her hair behind her ear and comment her earring, grab her hand and compare her hand to yours. Make a joke and tease and wile laughing throw your arm arround her, or poke her side when she jokes about you.

iamsoenlightened · 2024-12-30T11:52:19+00:00

Pro tip: go to a coffee BAR kinda towards dusk. So you meet when the sun is still up, then you sit with her into the night when things feel more romantic for her.

Or it can just be a regular coffee spot downtown so you can easily transition to a spot close by. “Hey, I know this place with margaritas and tacos down The street. You wanna go?”

Other more practical option is to meet for coffee during the day for only 30 minutes or so, to qualify her and see if she’s even interesting or worth your time, and to ofc make her feel safe.

Then, plan another more proper date.

FlatDistance5 · 2024-12-30T07:17:27+00:00

You can sexually escalate and risk losing her in the process. So if you only have an hour it’s best just to have fun… escalate a little, and set up a date at your place for the next time.

You can escalate in a short time period but if you don’t have a plan in place you can escalate to the point of no return, basically you can turn her on SO MUCH that sex is expected, and if you don’t have it… she’ll never see you again. Why? Because Basically, next time she sees you there’s an expectation of sex, and she won’t be sure if that’s what she’ll actually want… so instead feeling pressured she’ll bow out, it’s happened to me a few times, got hot and heavy on the first date… only for the 2nd to never happen.

But if you want to go for it here’s how to do it.

Make sure to have as much time as possible. I would say 3hrs min. If only 2 hours I would just escalate to a kiss and setting a fuck date (splitting a bottle of wine at your place) later on that evening or in the next two days
Have a coffee shop or cheap place or eat close by your place, within walking distance. Make it so that she’s visiting 3 places minimum. The shop/or cheap restaurant. Then a walk talk and hand holding maybe some heavy petting. Then your place to watch a show, or whatever excuse you come up with.
Here’s what to remember when raising her temperature. 1. Make sure YOU look as presentable as possible, smell good, good style hair cut. 2. Break touch barrier immediately as soon as you see her, I would even take her hand and guide her to the table. Touch her during escalation in the conversation. Go 2 steps forward 1 step back. Hug, hand… no touch. Hand, rub upper arm no touch, hand around back, pull her close, move hair off her ear or away from neck, no touch. Do this continuously. Eventually you’ll have to make a BIG escalation move, the first after the first hour sit somewhere but before letting her sit, grab her hand and guide her to your lap… don’t ask, she’ll hesitate but if you ran the date correctly she’ll comply. The second move, while your walking talking holding hands and making her comfortable and laughing. Get behind her and make sure her ass is on you and hold her from behind… it won’t matter here if you’re hard or not, as long as you don’t treat it as a big deal and just still act like your conversing then she won’t see it as an issue either. After that all that’s left is to break contact act as if you weren’t just behind her and resume talking then find an excuse to kiss her… my go to is let me see your eyes I, I saw something are they such and such color? I’ll usually rub her nose with mine then go for a quick kiss. If you can do that she’ll pretty much be ready to fuck.

Quick guide for ya

montanalombardy · 2024-12-30T08:42:45+00:00

Who said the coffee date should be quick?

Meet in the afternoon/evening. If the date is going well, continue to dinner or drinks or dessert or a walk.

If she is like "aight imma head out" after talking to you for an hour, she isn't into you anyway lol. Unless she has to be off for work, in that case you set up a second, proper date.

Silly-Wrangler3754 · 2024-12-30T12:12:28+00:00

I think you have to make them feel a bit comfortable first before you end up building tension then going in for the lay I suppose? X

Short-Storage-7889 · 2024-12-30T12:32:07+00:00

Just escalate? Stop overthinking just go with the flow

AlastairXXL · 2024-12-30T13:59:03+00:00

Go for a coffee shop that opens late at nite, sit next to her touch her alot, waist then leg then breasts then pussy. When the coffee shop closes ask her back to yours.

CulturalRoll · 2024-12-31T18:49:22+00:00

I’ve brought girls back or have been invited back to eat because of the idea of getting lunch right after. Coffee dates are usually in the noon so lunch is literally perfect. If your place is near by you can try eating back at yours. Food is comfort. Pretty easy imo.

Then escalate after

GeorgeKaplanIsReal · 2024-12-30T05:47:46+00:00

Here’s what you do. You buy a biscotti. And you dip it into your coffee. First you just gently tap the surface of it. Maybe slap it with your biscotti a little bit. Then you push that biscotti into the coffee, moving it around, feelings the dimensions of the cup as you do, then you pull it out a little and push back in. Then pull it out again and push back in again but angling it against the left side of the coffee cup, letting it drag against that side as you pull it out again and push it back in angling the right side of the coffee cup this time and so on. Then you begin to combine deep thrusts with short thrusts. Some with force, some more gentle. Finally when you’re close, you pull your biscotti out (should be pretty fucking mushy at this point), grab some of that mushy biscotti and throw some on the coffee cup handle while exclaiming “oh fuck, oh god.” Feel free to replace god with your deity or deities of choice and it’s alright if you miss the handle of the cup a little. Who doesn’t like a money shot every now and then? Now you’re spent and let whatever is left of your biscotti rest. Maybe leave some cab fare for the coffee cup.

After doing all of this, if she’s still there, and her eyes lighten up with wonder and seductive delight, you know it’s gonna be a home run. Take this chick home and Hulk smash. If she’s not there or is there but with a look of confusion and/or disgust you know it’s not gonna work out. Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and dip out, leaving her with the mess.

tom_hagen_jr · 2024-12-30T05:22:08+00:00

I typically suggest a date at a coffee or yogurt shop for a couple of reasons. While the other person often picks yogurt for me, it sets a relaxed tone. As we sit across from each other, enjoying our desserts, it’s easy to reach over, hold hands, laugh, and flirt—just like you would over dinner. You can savor the yogurt for a long time if you’re truly enjoying the person's company. Ultimately, it’s all about how you communicate and connect with one another; it doesn't matter whether it's drinks, food, coffee, or yogurt. If there's a connection, it will shine through, regardless of the setting.

great_account · 2024-12-30T05:43:57+00:00

I prefer drinks for a first date. A good bar is much easier to escalate in and the chances of sex are much higher.

But if you're going to do a coffee date, then don't expect to get too physical at first, especially in the afternoon. If you're having a good time together, you could potentially transition to dinner. The fact of the matter is if you're meeting a tinder date at a coffee place, you're probably not getting laid, so you can feel free to leave the expectations of a bunch of physical contact. Maybe a hug at the end.

Neuro_Skeptic · 2024-12-30T13:00:18+00:00

Does she know it's a date?

jamesfalken · 2024-12-30T13:44:31+00:00

A coffee date is really just an excuse to meet someone to see if there is attraction/chemistry. If there is, you could literally invite into your car or back to your place at the end of the date and make your move there obviously, but not ON the coffee date.

used_npkin · 2024-12-30T14:15:33+00:00

Going for a kiss with coffee breath? Ew...

Intelligent-Roll-763 · 2024-12-30T15:44:36+00:00

It's about investment Vs return.

Some guys don't want to spend on dinner and drinks for no reason.

Also, when your game is structured you are supposed to pull fast, in between 45 minutes to 1h30. Spending more time outside sometimes brings diminishing returns. You might lose attraction or on the contrary she might decide to make you wait because you are "boyfriend material".

mmmm_frietjes · 2024-12-30T17:45:33+00:00

You need to sit next to her.

punktfan1 · 2024-12-30T17:58:36+00:00

You don’t it’s not worth it. She’ll complain she couldn’t drink in piece.

Ant010101 · 2024-12-30T18:51:16+00:00

Gotta make them feel comfortable, and break the touch barrier. Talk/Story tell with your hands, and slowly but consistently find ways to break the barrier. Do this and make her laugh, if it doesn’t happen the first date you’ve subconsciously laid the ground work in her mind of being comfortable with the idea of spending a prolonged period of time with you. Then it’s just a matter of when, not if. Happy hunting.

The_rock_hard · 2024-12-30T20:50:02+00:00

I start coffee dates by saying I'm not planning to have sex on the first date. Takes the pressure off for the girl. Ironically when I started saying this, I started getting laid regularly on first dates. Girls are weird man.
In case the coffee date goes well, have a second place in mind that's more intimate vibes. Depending on the girl, there's a couple options near me: A speakeasy wine cellar which is super cozy, candles on the table type of place; a classy whisky bar; a mildly upscale brewery for the more casual types of girls; or the indoor mini golf place. I'll try to get a read on the girl's vibe and suggest one of those places as a next stop.

If the coffee date is going really well, I'll tell her I know a cute spot for our first kiss, and then I walk them to this overlook in a nearby park. This tends to have a great reception because girls love romance-y things that feel destined, like oh we have this cute spot where we had our first kiss and we can go revisit it and she definitely doesn't need to know this has been the spot where I've first kissed easy two dozen girls.

TheKnownUnknown- · 2024-12-30T20:57:16+00:00

Y’all overthinking it. Just ask her, you tryna go have ***?

lucholas · 2024-12-31T11:14:18+00:00

Smash dick on table
Wink
Sex

MvstxrFowler · 2024-12-31T15:22:02+00:00

I read: greet, touch, compliment. when she comes through the door. So give a hug. And more like 15 to 20 minutes in once she feels comfortable, ask her back to your place to hang out or for a drink. so the coffee shop needs to be about 5 minutes driving time from your place or motel. Don't get the motel until she gets there with you. Grown women don't mind the wait to check into the room. If you're driving her to the room and while walking around the motel to your room talk to her cause this is where they can get most apprehensive and focusing on their decision to go there with you the most, sit on the bed, when she sits on the bed with you, she's ready to go. So I read this guide in a book, but it has worked 70% of the time

KongWick · 2024-12-30T05:06:56+00:00

I only do first dates 1) after dark and 2) for drinks.

This eliminates such problem

LightYagamiComplex · 2024-12-30T07:33:22+00:00

meet during evening and go for drinks that sets up the premise better for things that you're looking for and it's okay to not have sex everytime you meet someone

Tough92 · 2024-12-30T04:42:01+00:00

You don’t that’s the thing.

Idk if it was you or someone else posted an exact thread like this last week.

Skip the coffee and do dinner/drinks 1st date.

Plane_Benefit7868 · 2024-12-30T04:14:53+00:00

Confidently

Title	How do you escalate during a quick coffee date?
Author	cs342
Upvotes	126
Comments	115
Date	December 30, 2024 4:10 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1hpenx5/how_do_you_escalate_during_a_quick_coffee_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-escalate-during-a-quick-coffee-date.1539872 https://theredarchive.com/post/1539872

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