Post-divorce “hoe phase” from a woman married at 19 and divorced 5 years later. Would she still be considered a HVW?

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2025-01-06T09:41:58+00:00

I don't particularily like the HVW/M terms. They are followed by some standards depending of the culture of the person. There are some universal principles though

I won't say she is high value since she seems unstable and unhealed but she is not a bad person

Schleudergang1400 · 2025-01-06T12:10:37+00:00

She was never a HVW to begin with. Holy fuck, she is autistic! I don't care about the number of men she slept with or for what reasons.

Electric_Death_1349 · 2025-01-06T09:39:49+00:00

Her being autistic is a red flag - I personally don’t give a shit about a “hoe phase” or whatever

shadowrangerfs · 2025-01-06T12:01:04+00:00

This isn't a hoe phase. This is a woman with mental issues who couldn't handle being alone. That alone makes her not a HVW. The mental issues. Even if this woman hadn't had sex with any guy after her husband, the mental issues make her not high value.

Also, you clearly don't understand what HVM and HVW mean. A HVM is a man who possess many of the qualities that women want in a man AND is in short supply.

A HVW is a woman who possess the qualities that men want and is in short supply.

The term HVW is totally unrelated to the women you described because you said nothing about her value.

weenieandthebutt · 2025-01-06T10:21:33+00:00

Hoe phases are definitely not weighed the same. Most are red flags but maybe just about overlooked depending on the person and how I'm treated. Others are just clear deal breakers.

wtknight · 2025-01-06T12:17:14+00:00

I personally have never been into women who have had casual sex for whatever reason. I don't know how other men feel about this, though, but I'm guessing that the fact that she has a mental disability and that she is a victim of rape would be even greater red flags for them.

Proudvow · 2025-01-06T09:37:26+00:00

"Hoe phase" women under any context are never high value to me.

In this specific context the woman is a divorcee and naive on top of being high N. She should've probably stopped cuddling with random men after the first 2 or so times she got pressured into sex, but she seems incapable of learning lessons. The bad guys got to use her while the good guys got to be a living blanket. Where is the value? I feel bad for the last guy she ended up with, whoever that is.

meisterkraus · 2025-01-06T12:13:17+00:00

Speaking in general a hoe phase is a hoe phase. And to me it indicates low value for dating. That low value comes from prioritizing short term pleasure over long term. I am looking for a long term thing and that takes work and prioritizing long term satisfaction, so we are not compatible. You can do whatever you want. And it doesn't make you less valuable as a person just as a dating prospect for me.

ComfortableJeans · 2025-01-06T09:31:51+00:00

It's hard to give a straight answer, because the whole hoe-phase thing here is obfuscated by a bunch of other issues.

I don't quite know how to answer it. Even people not phased by the whole hoe phase thing should see some substantial issues here.

I take sex and my romantic relationships pretty seriously. I don't sleep with a woman unless we're in a relationship and have developed real feelings towards one another. I've had plenty of offers, but I've only been with two women and kissed three, all three of those were in relationships. And I'm 30 years old now. Honestly, without the emotion and romantic aspect, I just don't have the WANT for sex without love in me. And I want a partner who wants the same thing.

I also wouldn't call someone High Value or Low Value or whatever. They're just not my kind of partner. And that's fine.

So I've never really allowed myself to get that close to a potential partner who's had a hoe phase just off of the basis that if they did want to do that, they they're not someone who really shares my values around love, sex and intimacy in the first place.

But this sounds more like a whole other issue. This person sounds like they've been pushed into having a bunch of people they didn't want.

There's also not understanding what come over and cuddle means in the adult world.

Inviting strange men over to cuddle you in bed is also just... an issue.

This person sounds almost childlike in their naivety. Hoe Phase stuff aside, this is already a person who would need to get a grip on themselves before getting into a relationship.

I guess they're not all weighed the same, but at the same time, there's probably no type of phase that leaves me still being interested.

DiligentRope · 2025-01-06T10:12:36+00:00

You can feel bad for her, but doesn't change what she is. A lot of men become homeless due to bad luck, it doesn't change their dating prospects.

She can probably get some beta simp to take her seriously, but she has too many red flags to be considered a HVW. At most she's no different than the other mid 20s women who rode the CC and now are reformed hoes.

Chance_Journalist_34 · 2025-01-06T09:25:06+00:00

Yeah, thats a big fat red flag and no from me. Hoe phase is a big nope. Invites guys over to cuddle, again a massive nope. Naive enough yet receptive enough to have sex with men she didnt want to sleep with, absolutely nope.

Basically to answer your question, mostly being a hoe is being a hoe. While some blokes may look past it or consider other factors generally we dont care why a girl was promiscuous.

And if I'm being honest, those men that do overlook it do so because they have no other options or self respect.

harmonica2 · 2025-01-06T14:08:03+00:00

I'm a guy and I had a post break up 'hoe phase' l, so I don't think I should judge her for it if I did it.

GrandpaDallas · 2025-01-06T14:30:40+00:00

A limited list like that is difficult for me to determine whether that woman would be considered "high value" to me. I consider far far beyond body count/marriage to be a determining factor.

Frankly, as someone who has been through a hoe phase(s) himself, I also don't consider that to be a determining factor.

Sex is fun. I can't blame a anyone for getting a bunch of it if they want to.

Cultural-Ad-8486 · 2025-01-06T14:52:51+00:00

To be honest, it looks like this woman didn't have a "hoe phase" so much.

And that she was in a very vulnerable position and was subjected to sexual violence and coercion most of the time.

It looks like she has a lot of problems with her life and psyche, so I would probably be more careful with her, although technically a relationship is possible. But only on the condition that she will be madly in love with me of course.

But here she also needs comprehensive care and psychological help (if she has not received it yet)

I understand that she is autistic and rather obsessively amorous? I am also not against it, like some guys here

No-Rough-7390 · 2025-01-06T15:12:53+00:00

Seems like an alpha widow situation. Also, while not the nicest sounding, I’d prefer someone with less issues and trauma.

Friedrich_Friedson · 2025-01-06T13:30:58+00:00

What you describe is sexual coercion towards than an autistic person with depression than a "hoe phase".

And lets put the stupid "HVM/HVW" terms to the trash where they belong

Gravel_Roads · 2025-01-06T11:48:56+00:00

Different men would think different things.

As a free-love hippy, I don't see anything wrong with anything she's done - but I personally wouldn't want to date her because of this:

was incredibly naive and had trouble sleeping alone

I am personally a very introverted and independent person, and I need partners that are high-functioning and aren't reliant on me to go about their business.

My current partner and I prefer to each have our own condo, so we can have our own personal space.

So I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who's "clingy" (for lack of a better word.)

But she sounds like she'd be a great partner to a more traditional man.

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Accomplished-Alps204 · 2025-01-06T13:33:40+00:00

HVW/HVM are such a dorky terms. Only things that matters at the end of they day are personal preference and compatibility. Anyway based on the limited description of the woman in woman, she wouldn't be appealing to me for a LTR, not solely because of the "hoe phase".

Dry-Ad3452 · 2025-01-06T15:28:59+00:00

I wouldn't call this a "hoe phase," but the woman is obviously mentally unwell and would not be the right partner for me.

Zabadoodude · 2025-01-06T16:48:38+00:00

This woman clearly has issues and is a glaring red flag. She kept inviting guys into her bed after she kept getting pressured into sex and got raped doing that... twice? She's either not honest with herself about why she's inviting these men into bed, or she's not high functioning cognitively.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2025-01-06T17:48:23+00:00

There's no such thing as a good "hoe phase" to men with standards. Men without standards will not care either way.

markov_truwitt · 2025-01-06T17:59:27+00:00

I prefer "quality" over "value", cause value is contingent on scarcity which is out of individual's control. What a person can control is their quality.

What you described is less a 'hoe phase' and more a refusal to mature into accepting responsibility for one's own mental health, safety, and overall well being. While it was wrong of those men to take advantage of her or assault her, she is not to be blamed for their choices, at the same time she has to look at her choices and accept the fact she made a lot of bad moves.

Her quality has less to do with her sexual experiences and more to do with her lack of respect for herself.

EetinAintCheetin · 2025-01-06T11:38:18+00:00

Why is it any of your business who is fucking whom?

Whiskeymyers75 · 2025-01-06T09:28:49+00:00

It’s probably best if people would STFU about their past bodycount/hoe phase. As a man, I have had sex with 6 different women in the past month and have slept with around 120 women in my lifetime. But I would never tell a potential partner about it.

Desperate_Coat_5244 · 2025-01-06T09:27:06+00:00

Men don’t think about such things at all, use words like “bodies” or “hoe phases”, that is incelspeak. Don’t worry about them.

KamuiObito · 2025-01-06T16:04:42+00:00

Either way mfs be failing the game on easy mode from my pov.I just see yiu as less intelligent and likely has a personality problem or subconscious issue. Life should be pretty smooth for women. Women are the ones who make it complicated for the sake of fitting in.

Title	Post-divorce “hoe phase” from a woman married at 19 and divorced 5 years later. Would she still be considered a HVW?
Author	throwRAbowlofchow
Upvotes	0
Comments	120
Date	January 6, 2025 9:16 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1huv3g3/postdivorce_hoe_phase_from_a_woman_married_at_19/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/post-divorce-hoe-phase-from-a-woman-married-at-19.1540493 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540493

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