Reason for divorce

Blackend-1989 · 2025-01-15T22:07:53+00:00

I didn’t have the porn issue but this is why I left … dead bedroom and no interest or initiation on her part. When it did happened I got the starfish treatment as well. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I told a friend yesterday I felt like my sex life was held hostage. Funny part is we got along really well in all other aspects of our marriage except that. At 52 I just couldn’t allow my sex life to be put in someone else’s pocket any longer.

willowtrees_r_us · 2025-01-13T14:49:44+00:00

Porn has saved me in a dead sexless marriage. Good for you for taking care of yourself. I don't believe what she says she's just trying to put the blame on you.

Physical-Candle-7552 · 2025-01-13T10:08:47+00:00

And then there’s me , perfectly willing wife who enjoys sex and was rejected several times and porn was chosen over . It killed my marriage .

Cvdiva · 2025-01-13T08:45:35+00:00

Sounds like you just weren’t happy

RagingSorrow · 2025-01-13T05:33:31+00:00

You know sometimes this group annoys me… this post not so much.

My wife, stbxw, would go months without sex if I let her. Then she made me feel guilty for watching porn. Thing is when we had sex I wouldn’t even think of porn for a few days and the more we did the longer I went. Eventually it started getting rare to have sex and I wouldn’t even watch porn a lot. Like way more than op but I wasn’t getting anything from her. Her excuse is that I wasn’t doing anything to help at the house. At this point I worked 12 hour days with an 1-1 1/2 hr travel one way and 6 nights a week as a labor worker. Of course I didn’t help around the house and barely with the kids. I was sleeping. Showering. And not eating enough.

Well that’s enough of my rant about it. I just want to say that this thread made me feel better about the fact I watched porn during our marriage when I wasn’t getting any from her. It wasn’t the main part of the divorce but it was a main reason of resentment on both sides in our marriage.

GreatEdubu · 2025-01-12T20:18:03+00:00

Don’t worry bro. Nobody is signing up to marry an unhappy middle aged woman with 2 kids.

She could have sucked your dick more too. Oh well. Some younger chic will.

Miserable_Ad_1172 · 2025-01-12T19:59:32+00:00

Same after our second child. We both just ended up resenting each other. Sad as it could have been worked on from both our parts.

NewDay0110 · 2025-01-12T17:07:35+00:00

Lol same happened to me. Only difference is that my wife totally turned me off about wanting sex with her by yelling at me all the time. I can't get turned on by someone who is always mean to me, and then she was angry about the lack of sex.

I think what really gets under their skin is that they can't use sex to manipulate you if you have porn as an alternative. Now that I'm divorced I am no longer interested in sex in general - it's just feels like such an obligation in a relationship that its no longer fun. I don't crave it like I used to.

darealyst · 2025-01-12T15:47:43+00:00

Masturbation is a symptom not a cause

No_Astronaut5941 · 2025-01-12T10:04:01+00:00

She broke the contract IMO by not being available for sex. To me anyway that is the case. Sex is part of marriage. Like a real fucking vital part to my marriage.

Porn is well. It's kinda complex but it is something available to fulfill a need, and sex is a need for most IMO, if that need is not being fulfilled.

It sucks. I understand where she's coming from, but it's not cheating. It's fantasy IMO. I understand that she's comparing herself to that fantasy world, but you have needs that she isn't able and or willing to fulfill.

Only once a day though dude? Low T?

jimsmythee · 2025-01-12T06:22:58+00:00

That’s the thing. They’re excuses and nothing more. It’s the curse of “only if!”

Only if he didn’t look at porn, she’d be interested in sex,

Only if he didn’t look more housework, she’d be interested in sex.

List goes on and on.

You could be the pope, rich, and working your fingers to the bone serving her. And guess what? She’d still have no interest in sex.

Subtle-Catastrophe · 2025-01-12T05:36:07+00:00

Heh. Once every day? And you're not blind, with hairy palms, you monster?

I'd bang out the wife, sometimes two or three times in a day, and still take care of my own business before falling asleep. Big whoop. She never complained. I recall she walked in on me once or twice, and we both had a good laugh.

Your ex saying the fact you looked at porn was the reason for divorce is an enormous load of baloney. Here's a fact people don't like to talk about: women do not care what their man does with his sexuality, in the most fundamental sense. They care only if his actions might embarrass or financially impact them (such as making passes at women in her social sphere, or paying professionals or sugar babies, or having outside kids, or catching the clap or whatever). They really truly DGAF about where or under what circumstances he shoots his shot; not in the way that we men care about the act of coitus itself vis-a-vis our woman.

PriorPineapple3778 · 2025-01-12T05:34:35+00:00

This article is the best I've seen on when a woman doesn't want sex and devalues her partner's need for it. Treating it as if it's merely an optional add-on in a relationship. https://www.drpsychmom.com/when-women-consider-physical-touch-to-be-a-less-real-or-important-love-language/

Altruistic-Monk-6209 · 2025-01-12T05:32:55+00:00

It's all white noise man. If your ex had a reasonable sex drive you most likely wouldn't have had much need for porn. Obviously introspection wasn't one of her qualities?

Confident-Crawdad · 2025-01-12T05:04:51+00:00

The phrase "porn addiction" gets thrown around a lot. Often when the behavior described comes nowhere near an actual addiction.

If anyone else; wife, pastor...anyone, is arrogant enough to think they have a say in what I look at and whether I jack off, they'll be shown the door with a quickness.

Longjumping-Cup-4018 · 2025-01-12T04:47:36+00:00

When you are single, there are opportunities and encounters everywhere

Title	Reason for divorce
Author	ww3historian
Upvotes	91
Comments	47
Date	January 12, 2025 4:34 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1hzeuhz/reason_for_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/reason-for-divorce.1540988 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540988

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