Q4M: By which date can a woman expect a gift from you?

Nard_Bard · 2025-06-14T04:19:04+00:00

I am not buying you a fucking thing except dinner until you call me your boyfriend.

Not a single fucking thing.

Superannuated_punk · 2025-06-14T02:37:04+00:00

Just watched the vid. If I had thought I’d just been on a nice date with a woman, and she pulled that on me at the end of it, I would walk into the ocean. What the actual fuck? Is my judgement that awful?

Isn’t dating about deciding if you like one another?

I mean - I made my missus a mixtape when we were first dating, and I saw a book by an author she mentioned and grabbed her that; but I think she would have found it weird if I’d got her anything more extravagant.

washington_breadstix · 2025-06-14T02:17:03+00:00

It wouldn't even occur to me to give gifts to a woman just because she had been going on dates with me. I would only give gifts to celebrate an actual milestone, or maybe as a nice gesture if I stumbled upon a gift that reminded me of her.

I mean no offense, but the woman in your linked video seems insufferable. She'd never get a second date with me.

Logos1789 · 2025-06-14T02:24:52+00:00

Love languages are a joke. Most people like getting shown love in all or most of the ways.

Who doesn’t like gifts? Who doesn’t like physical affection from a sex/romantic partner?

If women treated love languages as seriously when it comes to men, there would be way more sex happening.

Gravel_Roads · 2025-06-14T03:30:36+00:00

Lol WHAT? I don't count dates like a freaking robot "BEEP BOOP DATE 4 ARRIVES; INITIATE TIMED GIFT-GIVING PROCEDURE!"

I get people gifts when I see a gift they'd like. There's nothing I hate more than obligated expenditures - buying random shit for someone is not my love language. Ain't nobody got that kinda disposable income these days.

Don't buy gifts just because you have to - that's basically saying "Here, pretend to appreciate this trash and then throw it away when I'm not looking."

SeemedGood · 2025-06-14T04:51:45+00:00

This is the kind of thing you learn not to do as a teenager. As an adult, this is a total sucker’s move - not much will make her lose respect for you faster. If your time and attention aren’t the best gift you can give, you’re dating the wrong woman. And if she has any expectation of receiving gifts, you can’t get out of there fast enough (unless you’re into dating prostitutes).

ThucydidesofHellas · 2025-06-14T02:28:06+00:00

If anything, I'd feel discouraged from giving gifts for anything except Christmas or their birthday just so I don't set an expectation for it.

For a second date? I'd just assume the woman would think I'm desperate and be put off by it.

This seems like one of those things that women enjoy the idea of until they're faced with a real person, giving them something that they're too awkward or unimpressed by to actually appreciate.

Give them less to be disappointed by, the less disappointed they will be. Sadly, no gifts are better than a boring gift, or a nice but unimpressive gift.

Also women latch onto their idea of what and who are you, and if you do things for them that are outside of your norm, then you'll be playing pretend for the rest of the relationship. "What, no gifts for me?"

I don't want to hear it. I'd rather establish a relationship and then surprise them once we've gotten past the first impressions stage.

It's been a rare thing in my life for a woman to appreciate a one-off gift without expecting it to become a thing, and also to turn around give gifts herself but that's another conversation.

aslfingerspell · 2025-06-14T03:01:15+00:00

They are not to be expected. I don't like that kind of thing in my relationships, and "gift-giving" is not my love language. I would like my presence alone to be enough, the same way I hope she would be for me.

nsfwthrowaway6996 · 2025-06-14T02:18:23+00:00

If a woman on a first date talked at me like the woman in this video. I would just ghost after the first date. They ain't no way I'm putting up with that noise. That is a crazy level of entitlement.

With that said, I've purchased flowers for a second date. But I don't consider it a gift. Just a nice gesture.

But for an actual gift, it wouldn't depend on the number of dates. It would depend on relationship level. Dates don't equal relationship stage. I would need a certain level in trust in the relationship to get a real gift. Just like my friendships.

TeacherSterling · 2025-06-14T03:44:34+00:00

If I really like a girl, probably after the first or the second date. I would not say an expensive gift, but something small like a flower or something I think they would like.

I am assuming in this situation we have talked a long time over text or knew each other before for some period of time. If we just met once and haven't talked much, I probably wouldn't even know what to buy.

EDIT: If a girl said this to me, I would run. A gift shouldn't be expected, but it should be appreciated.

anonqwertyq · 2025-06-14T05:12:38+00:00

I’m not giving women I’m only casually dating gifts. Does the woman in your instagram clip talk about women giving the men they date gifts?

KayRay1994 · 2025-06-14T01:56:47+00:00

In short: N/A

It’s not that i don’t like giving gifts, but moreso that gifts are more a personal gesture from me. Like you’re not gonna get a gift from me simply for going on dates with me - it has to actually mean something whether it be a milestone, something to celebrate or as a symbolic emotional bridge. I won’t give someone a gift simply because they went on dates number x with me.

I also should say that I differentiate between gestures and gifts - a gesture is small, like think flowers, candy, a surprise dessert or whatever during a date - those could happen at the spur of the moment, but to me a ‘gift’ is larger and more meaningful, there is symbolic meaning behind a gift to me

midnight_blue77 · 2025-06-14T04:30:45+00:00

Depends entirely on the woman. Would need to study her and figure out what she likes or if a gift would even resonate with her. Some women take gift for granted, others even have the go to feel entitled to them, and some don't even expect gifts, or feel they don't deserve them. Distilling the romance down to a countdown is missing the point.

growframe · 2025-06-14T10:02:07+00:00

By which date can a woman expect a gift from you?

I don't date transactionally. A woman expecting a gifts just for going on dates would be a turn off

I'm curious for the pill men In this sub, how many dates until you consider buying her a gift?

However many dates it takes for us to make relationship official

Ruztomski · 2025-06-14T15:23:56+00:00

August 7th

CerealExprmntz · 2025-06-14T15:56:21+00:00

It isn't a matter of time, it's a matter of connection and affection. You can't expect a gift. You get one if you get one, and you don't if you don't. It's a different story if you're in a relationship but if you, like this woman, try to get a guy to get you a gift as some sort of test or because you "deserve" it, then you're not worth dating in my opinion.

Livid-Log7463 · 2025-06-14T21:07:34+00:00

The real question here is why do women believe they deserve gifts for just existing?

So what if it is her love language? It could be the guys love language too and that along with any other love language a guy can have will also be unfulfilled at least until fully in a relationship and even then it’s only possibly.

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Ultramega39 · 2025-06-14T02:56:34+00:00

When she's my girlfriend or if she decides to give me a gift first.

Basically I need commitment before I start giving gifts. If she expects gifts before she decides that she wants to commit 🚩🚩.

Downtown_Werewolf_44 · 2025-06-14T05:52:07+00:00

I don't think I would buy anything for someone unless we become official, I'm already paying for most dates.

Speaking on that video, any woman asking me for a gift like she's agressively doing so would be a massive pass for me (and for the majority of men i suppose).

Edit: Video comment section shows that everyone think that this is some bad advices. Getting men and women to agree on something dating related isn't that easy. Kudos to her for that.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2025-06-14T07:46:38+00:00

I am a pro princess treatment but I would only start buying things frequently when we decide to be commited but it can change given the circumstances. People don't realize it but dating and marrying for a man can be more expensive than getting a license and buying cars so I can understand than some men don't invest too much given a woman can decide to see someone else because of the illusion dating apps bring to people

Jazzlike_Function788 · 2025-06-14T17:54:51+00:00

Before the first date if I feel like it. If you need to buy her a gift she doesn't want you though, so you're wasting your money.

Steakman1 · 2025-06-14T22:46:01+00:00

I don’t have a number. I just do it when I feel like it.

millenium-kestrel · 2025-06-18T20:02:38+00:00

I’ve never had a good response doing any nice guy shit until after fucking. Before that I feel like women think you’re weak and lame for doing so much.

kopdjernigan · 2025-06-14T02:01:50+00:00

Does bringing her a treat like a dessert count as a gift even if it’s not a cheap dessert?

If so I could see it happening on a second date. If not and it’s flowers a 3-4th date earliest. But anything other than that she would be my gf first.

I say this as a sit down restaurant for first date that I don’t mind paying for kind of guy.

Edit: yeah the way asked in the video is a big turnoff. At first it was okayish and depending how well the first date went I can see myself bringing a dessert type gift that I think she would like but the more I watched the more entitled it seemed.

Title	Q4M: By which date can a woman expect a gift from you?
Author	Windmill_flowers
Upvotes	0
Comments	79
Date	June 14, 2025 1:52 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1lax648/q4m_by_which_date_can_a_woman_expect_a_gift_from/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-by-which-date-can-a-woman-expect-a-gift-from.1554933 https://theredarchive.com/post/1554933

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