My only dates in the last 3 months have come from approaching. How can people say it doesn't work?

Trialbyfuego · 2025-07-09T18:00:10+00:00

Good shit man! When you say "action" what do you mean? Are you hanging out with women, which is cool enough, having sex or getting into relationships?

I've approached women a lot before but usually don't have success even if i get their number/ Instagram/etc.

Pepes_parrillaXXX69 · 2025-07-10T04:16:45+00:00

Being attractive and neurotypical helps a lot

LazySignature2 · 2025-07-09T21:38:07+00:00

It's a skill like any other. I know a dude who was cold approaching, quite a bit, in even less competitive spaces - not clubs / pubs, but like parks or just on streets.

No luck though.

Like he got conversations going, some back and forth, no numbers though.

So your anecdote says it works. My anecdote says it doesn't.

Lesson here is YMMV.

DGenerationMC · 2025-07-09T20:01:52+00:00

They say it doesn't work because it doesn't work for them.

Just like how you're saying it works because it's working for you.

WTF are we doing here with this post

GrouchNslouch777 · 2025-07-10T05:31:02+00:00

As someone with more actual experience with women than probably every man on this board, more experience talking to strangers, etc. I will tell you this...look at your post

You are approaching women non stop. Your success rate is not over 2% regarding conversions to lays. Why? Because I've done it and gotten good at it. Spoiler alert it works best when you LOOK GOOD. And even then it doesn't work particularly well.

Paul Janka cold approached in the late 2000s. Before tinder so before women got blown up on social media and had tinder brain. Paul Janka was tall, a model, and ivy league educated. And his success rate was 5% - from numbers he got. So likely close to 2 or 3% if you count half of women as rejecting giving him the number.

You aren't doing better than that.

So yeah, I'd say cold approaching strange women DOES NOT work. As in, your hit rate is so low that it just really isn't worth it.

You will realize one day that all you're doing is gassing up the egos of these women and jestering for them.

Take the time you're spending approaching women and just spend more time upgrading your appearance. Get a hair transplant. Fix your shit.

When you max your superficial qualities out, the issue of women should solve itself.

Having said that...it is GOOD to know how to do it if you ever find yourself just like NEEDING to get laid or some shit and you have 0 names in your contact list. Aka LAST RESORT.

petellapain · 2025-07-09T22:50:25+00:00

No mention of height, probably tall. Its not complicated

WebNew9978 · 2025-07-10T04:54:51+00:00

To the women you are approaching, they consider you to be good looking and have some sort of attraction to you to at least go somewhere with it.

In essence you’re not universally ugly like how I am.

ImpossibleCandy794 · 2025-07-10T13:08:46+00:00

Because you are attractive and because of that managed to get experienced on doing ir right.

Not attractive, no chance to learn. Even if yhey learn, likely to still get ignored before they open their mouths

fat-squid2025 · 2025-07-09T19:23:44+00:00

I don't think they say it doesn't work, they say it doesn't work if you're really ugly. The apps are complete trash so IRL is about all that's left. Although it helps if you're a regular somewhere and a familiar face

growframe · 2025-07-09T19:16:32+00:00

Who says warm approaching doesn't work? The contention is usually with cold approaching

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Powerful_Monitor3659 · 2025-07-09T18:49:30+00:00

I think people conceptualise 'approach' differently.

AMC2Zero · 2025-07-09T19:09:42+00:00

Going for IRL over apps does put you ahead since you aren't directly competing with several thousand other dudes but I have some questions.

Are you approaching complete strangers or someone that you know something about beforehand like work?

I'm also curious about the success rate as cold approaches are notorious for being very low.

Many people say it doesn't work because they aren't attractive enough or are afraid of causing a scene.

hoblyman · 2025-07-10T00:01:16+00:00

How tall are you?

GOVERNORSUIT · 2025-07-10T04:40:16+00:00

anyone can come on here saying they got dates from that. l will believe it when l see it

Your_Mommy_Loves_Me · 2025-07-10T10:09:33+00:00

It doesn't work for them, they think a woman should fall out of the sky onto their dick while they're sitting on the couch doing nothing.

Main_Aside_3072 · 2025-07-11T03:57:54+00:00

Congrats on being good looking! I'm sure now you'll believe is your personality and sense of humor the reason you're successful! saw it a few times with my late bloomer friends back in college.

Khanluka · 2025-07-12T22:30:00+00:00

One part that you fail to understand is.

Many men do not enjoy going to clubs or bars. If you don't enjoy being there not matter how good you are you will have no success.

Or have jobs with a 90% men 10% woman working force.

As for hobby's there are many hobby's that are just 100% male presence.

yes if you go to clubs and bars go on dancing lession cooking course as men it will increase your succes with woman if you enjoy doing that outside of wether you get woman or not. But only if you truely enjoy it.

Least_Contest3913 · 2025-07-13T17:30:50+00:00

Damn how tall are you? As a 4ft2 man I've been shot down hundreds of times in person without being good enough for a single date.

torytho · 2025-07-09T19:58:24+00:00

That's hot man. Your confidence is oozing. Congrats. Keep that energy about yourself always.

BCmutt · 2025-07-09T20:12:44+00:00

My experience has been exactly like yours, meeting people in real life is so easy in social settings I dont understand what all the negativity is about. A lot of guys are just crabby and want others to be miserable with them, they can be safely ignored when it comes to dating advice.

Knight-Bishop · 2025-07-10T02:59:30+00:00

You are thinking too hard, OP.

I have cold approached thousands of women. It isn’t even worth having this convo w/ these dudes.

These dudes have too much EGO to ask other men (I.e., dating coaches online, brother, dad, male friends) for help OR figure it out on their own.

So— rather than humble thyselves— they just call all dating coaches frauds, grifters & harass them day and night. ⬇️👇🏼

https://youtu.be/cJP_Je0YesQ?si=7JQ8ypTssqxtj4K7

If everyone is a fraud, figure it out on your own.

Simple.

alotofironsinthefire · 2025-07-09T20:06:49+00:00

How can people say it doesn't work?

Those guys can't read body language and can't take a no

Title	My only dates in the last 3 months have come from approaching. How can people say it doesn't work?
Author	SurroundWide447
Upvotes	12
Comments	132
Date	July 9, 2025 2:09 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1lvjref/my_only_dates_in_the_last_3_months_have_come_from/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/my-only-dates-in-the-last-3-months-have-come-from.1556732 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556732

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