Want attention but can’t be bothered to give it back.

Want to feel loved but treat connections like a one sided transactions.

Ghost friends and then cry “nobody cares about me”.

Push people away and then act shocked when no one’s left.

You can’t expect people to care about you when you barely show that you care about them.

If you’re always the one waiting for someone else to reach out, make plans, check in, or be emotionally present, but you do nothing in return, you’re not actually lonely. You’re selfish and dont like the consequences of it.

Im pretty sure that’s a sign of depression, but you can only use that excuse for so long until people would rather be with someone who’s more stable.

I was thinking of this because I have had a couple of friends who sound alot like the guys venting about loneliness on social media.

One complains that he feels he has so little people to talk to and he’s worried being only tolerate him, but when I invite him to a group outing, he doesnt want to.

Then there was a couple of them that had to move and complain how isolated they feel. Thing is, they ended up ghosting everyone, even though one of them merely moved to another side of town.

On the plus side, there was one friend that realized he was sounding ridiculous, got professional help, and became funner to hang around. Hell, he eagerly wanted to go meet up with friends and meet new friends.

Now, this was more focused on friendships, but it extends to relationships too: If you suck at maintaining friendships, you’ll suck at maintaining relationships too.

These ‘Im So Lonely’ people usually just want gratification, not an actual relationship. Typically, they want the short term dopamine high of sex or the high of someone chasing them.

If you want to be emotionally distant, thats fine. Just dont complain about it.