Do touchy feely women really think they are being platonic when they grope men, I find it kinda hard to believe

Icyfemboy · 2025-09-16T14:02:17+00:00

Who tf does all this shit where do i find these women?

I-IV-I64-V-I · 2025-09-16T14:05:43+00:00

This isn't platonic, unless discussed beforehand. you are describing sexual harassment and should think about asking them to stop/ HR.

stockingsinrainboots · 2025-09-16T15:17:35+00:00

As a touchy woman, she's flirting with you. I hug and touch friends a lot, but not like that.

numerberonecynic · 2025-09-16T14:04:39+00:00

Women are generally more in-tune with social minutiae and cues when compared to men. If a woman is doing this while insisting it's totally innocent, there's a good chance she's knows better and is just playing you for a sucker.

Gravel_Roads · 2025-09-16T13:59:12+00:00

Some probably do. Some probably don’t.

Of those that don’t, most probably don’t know that it makes you uncomfortable. You will have to tell them, because no one tells women to keep their hands to themselves- they tell women that men love attention from women, so some will even think you like it… if you don’t say anything to the contrary.

If they know it makes you uncomfortable and they keep doing it, stop being friends with them, they are abusers.

SnooMarzipans8221 · 2025-09-16T15:20:33+00:00

That's not just "touchy", those kinds of touching is sexual harassment.

Lemon_gecko · 2025-09-16T14:07:35+00:00

Could be. I remember a moment when i was with my friends on a beach and hugged one guy (not a rare thing from me, i'm a huger), but this guy was new-ish in our group and i think didn't expect it. I thought nothing of it until i looked at his face a realized that for him it was either uncomfortable or more than a hug (we'll never know i didn't talk to him about it), so i stopped and wasn't like that with him anymore. You describing it like there was definitely sexual intent (pressing boobs) but this just might not be the case. She just might stand close to you during a dance (not unheard of) and boobs are just boobs and there.

That being said - could be not, and there might be flirting and intend.

You can put your grown man pants and talk to her about it, and if you're uncomfortable - ask her to stop.

TermAggravating8043 · 2025-09-16T14:25:11+00:00

This is from the same person asking about platonic women being touchy feeling when you go to their apartment at night time and drink alcohol together alone?

Your even using the same language

Mobrowncheeks · 2025-09-16T14:05:49+00:00

Sometimes they do. Most don’t. But even if most don’t think it’s strictly platonic, it doesn’t mean they want any further advancements then what they are doing. Some girls like to flirt and feel the attention of attraction and that be all they wanted .

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2025-09-16T14:18:49+00:00

None of that is platonic. She knows what she’s doing. It’s sexual harassment.

TransmissionsSigned · 2025-09-16T14:30:19+00:00

This is an invasion of personal space, be it platonic or otherwise.

EulenWatcher · 2025-09-16T15:26:58+00:00

No, and this behavior isn’t just “touchy feely”. I used to be very touchy with all my friends, but I still had boundaries and didn’t want people to misinterpret me. Certain touch is way too intimate and sexually coded to be shared with platonic friends. In a working setting, it’s just sexual harassment.

Qu3stion_R3ality1750 · 2025-09-16T15:53:07+00:00

I genuinely don't know what planet some of you live on or what pocket dimension you're stranded from where women are just 'groping' men willy nilly the way you imply.

I mean, yes, I'm not acting like women are incapable of getting a bit too handsy with men in the same manner as it would be the other way around. But most of the time this stuff is being perpetuated by men...against women.

If these women are doing these things to you specifically? Guess what, buddy? Those women were probably flirting with YOU and don't necessarily do that with men in general.

I hope reddit has some sane takes this time

Buddy, your post isn't even sane

Joey-Ramone_ · 2025-09-16T22:27:40+00:00

There is this older woman at work who wears way too much makeup and way too much perfume

She is constantly groping me.

She rubs my back like she's applying sunscreen

She puts her hands on my bicep area and feels my muscles. Inappropriate without question. Lots of flirting

And....

And. .

Truth be told...

Wait for it. ...

I love every second of it

Sorry, not sorry

Colt_Master · 2025-09-16T14:07:31+00:00

For the third time, how are you so sure these women weren't flirting (or at least pretending to flirt) with you? What is it, you ask them if they're coming onto you, they say no as they keep fondling you, and you take their word for it? Do these 'bubbly' women behave the same way with all men and women in their environment?

edit: comment below deleted by mistake, here was its contents:

chatgpt prompt: Why do people usually employ plausible deniability when flirting? Why not just be upfront?

chatgpt response:

Great question — it gets at the psychology of social interaction, risk, and attraction.

People often use plausible deniability when flirting because flirting inherently carries risk — of rejection, misinterpretation, or social fallout. Being upfront removes the buffer of ambiguity, while subtle or deniable signals let people test the waters more safely. Here are some key reasons:

Fear of rejection
- If you’re blunt ("I like you, want to go out?") and the other person doesn’t feel the same, it can be awkward or embarrassing. Plausible deniability ("Haha, you’re always fun to talk to") lets you backtrack if it’s not reciprocated.
Social consequences
- In certain contexts (workplace, social circles, friendships), a direct approach might create tension or damage relationships. Deniable flirting allows someone to gauge interest without risking too much socially.
Playfulness and attraction
- Flirting thrives on ambiguity and tension. Part of the fun is the "is this serious or not?" dynamic. Plausible deniability keeps the exchange lighthearted and teasing rather than immediately heavy or high-stakes.
Cultural and gender norms
- In many cultures, being too direct can be seen as socially inappropriate, "desperate," or overly aggressive. Indirect flirting lets people align with those norms while still expressing interest.
Emotional protection
- Ambiguous comments or gestures allow someone to retreat with "I was just joking" if things don’t go well, shielding their ego.
Mutual signaling
- Plausible deniability gives both people space to gradually signal interest and escalate only if it feels safe and mutual.

In contrast, being upfront is more efficient and can be refreshing, but it requires confidence, tolerance for rejection, and a context where it’s socially acceptable.

👉 So, in short: people use plausible deniability in flirting because it provides safety, social cover, and playful ambiguity — whereas being upfront trades those for speed and clarity.

Would you like me to also break down when it’s better to be upfront vs. when subtlety is smarter?

Former_Range_1730 · 2025-09-16T14:04:25+00:00

They know they're not being platonic. But they also know most guys are too dumb when it comes to women, to say anything about it.

ThatBitchA · 2025-09-16T14:58:35+00:00

This reminds me of working a restaurant/bar/club.

If someone is touching you in ways you don't like, say "no", "don't do that", "stop doing that".

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GrandpaDallas · 2025-09-16T14:24:48+00:00

All of those don't seem like platonic gestures. I'm friends with touchy feely women and those gestures would be over the line even for them.

This is def more than friendly

What makes you think she's not into you?

BackgroundTime8298 · 2025-09-16T15:38:10+00:00

Tell me the social circles you are into, I wanna fo some “research”

Commercial-Race8180 · 2025-09-16T15:39:07+00:00

Women don't do this.

KayRay1994 · 2025-09-16T15:53:53+00:00

Sir you are being sexually harassed

Most platonic touching is often at the shoulder, arm or maybe a friendly chest punch/slap

Psykotyrant · 2025-09-16T16:00:20+00:00

It’s a bait. If you touch them or flirt back, you’re headed straight to HR or the nearest police station at best.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-09-16T16:06:34+00:00

Nope!

Redhotangelxxx · 2025-09-16T16:11:24+00:00

Dude you've told the same story of this one woman at your weird place of work five times now. Don't make it seem like this is a normal and common thing when it's one woman at your work, who you should report to HR. Just report her bro.

MailenJokerbell · 2025-09-16T17:03:38+00:00

Where do you meet these people? All of those are 100% sexual harassment lmao

Economy-Praline9372 · 2025-09-16T19:26:49+00:00

"touching your chest and squeezing it (saying acupuncture points are there)"

Wow.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2025-09-17T05:45:17+00:00

Wow those are signs of a manipulative woman if she call that "platonic". She just know how to tease men and can use it to obtain some favor "for free"

Robot_Alchemist · 2025-09-17T09:51:28+00:00

How many beers in?

Odd_Row4109 · 2025-09-17T14:27:52+00:00

There are women who aren't touchy-feely?

majesticSkyZombie · 2025-09-18T01:28:58+00:00

Do you ever touch someone’s back or shoulder when talking to them, without asking them first? Many people do, and I imagine some people who do the touches you listed above see them as similar to the forms of casual touch I mentioned. I don’t think you should touch anyone, even on the shoulder, without asking, but for many people it’s normal to do. Of course, some people will definitely use that as an excuse without really believing it - but others may genuinely not see the issue.

RahLyt · 2025-09-16T14:28:34+00:00

I feel like this is a tricky question. Modern women lie to themselves often, so I wouldn't be surprised if they believed it was platonic.

Title	Do touchy feely women really think they are being platonic when they grope men, I find it kinda hard to believe
Author	Crazy_Kray
Upvotes	19
Comments	90
Date	September 16, 2025 1:55 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1nii6av/do_touchy_feely_women_really_think_they_are_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-touchy-feely-women-really-think-they-are-being.1562101 https://theredarchive.com/post/1562101

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