I’m a man in my late 30s and in the last months my life basically fell apart on multiple fronts at the same time. I’m having a hard time even believing it myself, so I’ll just list it.

– Our family business (that I’ve been working in for years) failed. I’m literally in the middle of selling our office furniture and remaining stock. – My brother has talked about killing himself. I managed to convince him to see a therapist and he was prescribed antidepressants, but he refuses to take them. – My father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. – My mother has decided to divorce my father. – The job market in my field is awful. My career transition stalled, so I’m basically still working part time in the dying family business. – Over the last year I actually made serious money in the stock market (about 35x my monthly salary), which has been one of the only things that made me feel competent and in control. – My wife told me she wasn’t attracted to me anymore, started saying she sees me more as a friend than a husband, and a few days ago said her decision to divorce is final. No “if you do X I’ll stay,” just: it’s over.

On top of that, I’m on venlafaxine (Effexor). My psychiatrist had suggested going up to 225 mg but that made me extremely sleepy, so I went back down to 150 mg. I’ve wondered if some of the “strange strength” I feel is hypomania or just adrenaline and survival mode.

What’s messing with my head is that part of me feels weirdly strong and focused, like I can get through this. Another part of me feels like I don’t even have the right to be stressed, like I’m a spoiled brat for struggling, even though objectively this is a ridiculous amount of loss all at once.

I’m not suicidal. I’m not planning to hurt myself. But I am:

– exhausted – hurt and angry about my wife choosing this exact moment to leave – worried about my brother – scared about my dad – ashamed about the business failure – and confused about who I even am now

I’m trying very hard to handle this with as much grace and dignity as I can: – I don’t want to beg my wife to stay. – I don’t want to trash her or become bitter and hateful. – I don’t want to blow up my finances out of emotion. – I don’t want to completely collapse either.

What I’m looking for from this sub:

– If you’ve been through “everything fell apart at once,” how did you keep going day to day? – If you’ve gone through divorce while also dealing with family illness / financial collapse, what helped you not lose your mind? – Any practical coping routines that helped you?

Again, I’m not in immediate danger, but I am under extreme pressure and would really appreciate some outside perspective, coping ideas, or even just “I went through something similar and survived” stories.

Thanks for reading this far.