I just want her to admit that she regrets it!

Short-Obligation-704 · 2025-12-12T15:40:14+00:00

She sees this as a vulnerability she can exploit. Escape as soon as you possibly can.

Ok-Guidance6491 · 2025-12-12T07:45:32+00:00

You’re not wrong for wanting that. You’re a dude so logic rules your (our) mind. Trust in the facts. Facts are stubborn things. The truth doesn’t rust. Unfortunately you probably won’t ever get the acknowledgement from her that you want. Her regret. Because they aren’t built like us. She will have it, but she will likely never say it out loud. Sorry but that’s also a fact. Take a little comfort in the fact that MANY other guys feel the way you do.

The truth is that you will be better in the long run because you ARE living in reality whereas she is denying it. It may seem like slim consolation right now but over time it will become more relevant. Does that make sense? You cannot outrun truth. No one can. Which means she cannot either. Good luck dude. You’ll be okay. Eventually.

Boglehead101 · 2025-12-12T05:39:55+00:00

Who cares what she thinks or feels?

whistful1 · 2025-12-10T20:05:16+00:00

If she tells you she regrets it would you believe her?

She made her choices - if she truly regretted it she would have said so immediately and worked with you in rebuilding your relationship.

MiloGoesToPorridge · 2025-12-09T14:29:51+00:00

After enough time has passed, you won't need her to express regret.

You know wrong was done, that's all you need.

Believe me, her regret will come one day, and when it does, you won't remotely care.

Sins_0f_War · 2025-12-09T12:15:00+00:00

Move on. Find something to help you. I don't know what a monkey branch is, but she doesn't regret it, or you wouldn't be here. And for that, she's not worth it.

Ok-Huckleberry1967 · 2025-12-09T03:56:10+00:00

Let go or be dragged. Don’t desire anything that’s not in your control. That’ll keep you stuck and give her power over your happiness. Move on and live freely.

You’ll heal from this. Time is a powerful healer. Think that your future self is being built right now. Face your challenges proudly.

iqeq_noqueue · 2025-12-09T02:25:38+00:00

Mine said, “I’m not sorry”

What makes you think that she regrets it?

BigBubbaMac · 2025-12-09T01:19:13+00:00

I knew she'd never take accountability for her actions and for a few months I wanted her to. I realized one day that no matter how this all shakes out, I'll still be in a better position without her. She's a bum and a deadbeat mom. I know part of her just wants to abandon our daughter but is so afraid of other people finding out what a piece of garbage she is.

Cool-Lavishness-1955 · 2025-12-09T00:59:18+00:00

I was like you for a period of time, but after two years, I realized an apology will never come. Nor do I need one because I’m doing much better. Just looking at my ex-wife, she looks absolutely horrible and miserable. Not surprised given that she blew up a great marriage and lifestyle to be with an absolute trash bag.

These women or even cheating men, have too much pride to own up that they made a mistake. They’ll stay in the relationship with their affair partner because of sunk cost fallacy. They blew up their entire world to be with this partner, and they have to make it work, even if it’s a horrible situation to save face.

In my opinion, the only time when you might hear an apology is when the AP dumps them soon after divorce and they tried coming crawling back before you move on to another woman.

Try becoming the best version of yourself. Trust me, your ex-wife will notice when you reach that and she would think, why is he doing so well without me?

Intrepid-Scarcity486 · 2025-12-09T00:37:22+00:00

My ex monkey branched and still lives with me. I changed my entire life around in 3 months, whole new perspective, quit alcohol, AA, some therapy and life coaching, major weight loss and diet change. Life is amazing.

She asked me to go get some gifts for our son and leans in for a kiss on the way out the door… she doesn’t want to give up but her “heart is confused” she still is talking to this guy but I’m just acting how I’d act either way.

I’m waiting for her to tell me the same thing one day, but not holding my breath. I bet her new friend would be pretty pissed if he knew she jerked me off yesterday lmao. I’m happy and content with my potential future. Single male who owns a house in my HCOL area with residential custody of his son in his early 30 just sounds like a cheat code. I told her I don’t want her to leave but if she does I’ll be fine… (I will!!)

Immediate-Story2562 · 2025-12-08T23:35:47+00:00

I know the feeling bro. I get it. I used to ruminate about her asking me back and how I would say no thank you, and that I will never take her back after what she has done.
Now I realize that it is just one more thing that I have to work on to accept, just like I had to suck up and accept all the other things that I did not want to happen, but it did.

machmusic76 · 2025-12-08T22:33:12+00:00

The best revenge is to live well. Move on and find new happiness.

Tires_For_Licorice · 2025-12-08T22:23:43+00:00

So, you need her to feel regret so that you can believe that you weren’t worth being left?? I don’t need my ex to regret a thing to know that she made a terrible choice - and to know that I deserve better treatment and someone who values me as I deserve.

This is rooted in either insecurity or unresolved anger slash desire for revenge. Love yourself and let her go. You don’t need anything from her in order to heal and to value yourself well.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2025-12-08T20:35:27+00:00

Yeah i feel the same way to a degree. I want her to regret it, not in some vindictive way, but i kind of want her to see or hear about me thriving. Sticking to my morals and being a good man despite her cold and callous behaviour. I want her to see me be a great father to our daughter. Seeing me maintain my friendships with our mutual friends while she chooses to isolate herself from everybody. I want to get in better shape for myself, but also so can see a physical representation of me improving myself. See me moving on from my current job (we currently work in the same place) and stepping up in my career. She knows i am doing therapy, so she knows I am working on my mind too. I want her to understand that while she may have given up on us, given up on me, I have not given up on myself.

I doubt she'd ever say the words as she has been very bad at expressing her feelings or taking accountability for anything during our breakup so far. But I know she will feel it. A lot of her behaviour and actions seem to indicate she has some level of guilt and shame for her decision. It'll take some time, but once her built up resentment fades I think some part of her will really regret throwing away our 17 year relationship, our home, our life together, without even giving it an honest go at saving it (she refused couples therapy and any of my other suggestions to try to work on things). Of course it will be far too late by that point...

Ok-Archer-5796 · 2025-12-08T20:21:30+00:00

Been there. Total waste of time my man.

Inevitable_Aide_7145 · 2025-12-08T20:05:30+00:00

You probably won’t hear what you want to hear until after it doesn’t matter anymore. That was definitely my experience

malsell · 2025-12-08T19:03:23+00:00

I got a laugh at mine Saturday and it was almost as good. She said the shop she takes it to said she has low transmission fluid but it wasn't low enough to be an issue. Well, I er this cold snap, apparently it had been slipping. He boyfriend "added transmission fluid" to it. I get there on Friday to pick up the kids and I'm like, sure I will check the fluid level. Well, there was an 8mm bold holding in the transmission dipstick and her boyfriend didn't have anything to take the bolt out with. On my way home I got to thinking, "If he didn't have anything to get that bolt out with, where did he put the transmission fluid. Found out the next day she had to pay almost $300 because he put the transmission fluid in the engine.

Legitimate-Corgi · 2025-12-08T15:54:45+00:00

Won’t happen. If it does it’ll take years and she still won’t admit she was wrong

Key_Display_4189 · 2025-12-08T15:37:10+00:00

You might get that admission through your circle of common people as she may say that one day.

Xw1 did that to our close friend....but instead of doing something about it like telling me for maybe a reconciliation she remarried someone else.

Xw2;is the one I really want to hear that from. But that'll never happen as she is in a LAT relationship....well...when she doesn't have our young teen

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2025-12-08T14:52:52+00:00

They never will. Even if they do they will convince themselves what they did is the best because if they know they wrecked things they wont want to confront that.

I dont know i think i just needed to vent and get this out into the ether.

VENT AWAY, it absolutely helps.

warwww · 2025-12-08T14:35:56+00:00

An absolute waste of your time. It is akin to trying to figure out why the sun is hot and when it will explode. You know it is hot and will more than likely be hot for another billion years. To add, you know* on some fundamental level how it works. Do you ruminate over this?

She cheated and left. End of story. There is nothing to ruminate over. Yes it hurts but you should look at the silver lining in this.

You can now find someone that truly loves and appreciate you.

This is your pride and ego speaking. You are still holding her on some sort of pedestal - Do you have any idea how many attractive non-cheating women there are in this world? A LOT... get on to living a life that you can be proud of when you turn 80 and can barely walk anymore.

That_Cup_3858 · 2025-12-08T14:19:29+00:00

My first divorce was 15 years ago. My ex finally admitted she was part of the problem too. Up until then she would take no responsibility. I was shocked she told me that.

serkovavantgarden · 2025-12-08T14:09:50+00:00

I don’t think I ever heard my ex mutter the words sorry throughout our whole relationship

Can women even pronounce the word?

zvekl · 2025-12-08T14:08:55+00:00

But why does it matter. I felt the same way but now I realize she did me favor, I am free and get to live a life the way I want with endless possibilities. The future is daunting as a single father but it’s also like the gloomy clouds lifted and I can do anything now without… that huge cloud raining all the time causing me to wilt and succumb to the dull inevitable future

AssistantActive9529 · 2025-12-08T14:06:41+00:00

She’ll never admit it brother . The best thing you can do is move on and live the best life you can. Once the gravy train has ended and these women have to work on their own and split the bills 50/50 with her dream guy is when reality slaps her in the face.

Be your best while she crumbles like an old statue

Acceptable_Piano4809 · 2025-12-08T13:56:41+00:00

I know you do, this is ALL I wanted for a longgggg time. But then you break it all down, and what you really want is her to acknowledge she made a mistake, which she’ll never do. You realize it’s more about her. You don’t need anything from her, that’s the real lesson you have to learn.

Good luck!

Then-Stage · 2025-12-08T13:52:00+00:00

This goes against human nature. People innately believe they're on the right path and do no wrong. Even if the cheating relationship blows up she'll just justify it as, "I learned a lot of lessons & at least I moved on from my ex husband".

Don't tie your life to BS dreams and expectations that will never happen. Give yourself closure,"she was a cheater and and I don't value her opinions anymore." Then move on. Good luck.

dystinct · 2025-12-08T13:49:08+00:00

It doesn't matter. It won't change anything. It's an unnecessary distraction keeping you from focusing on your future.

Spared-No-Expense · 2025-12-08T13:47:31+00:00

My early 30s ex wife has dated so far dated:

a 5’5 ugly murderer illegal Cuban who served 9yrs federal for trafficking firearms and drugs

a fat, balding 35 year old hospital HR admin guy obsessed with legos and size G bra bimbofication who was excited to play hide and seek for 6 hours in my house when my process servers were trying to serve him a summons.

And now a 59 year old manbaby who lies constantly, beat his ex wife, and starts video-recorded fights with his neighbors and local judges like a full-on Karen in every neighborhood he’s ever lived in.

Burned every bridge on the way out from my upper middle class extended family.

She will never admit to a single mistake.

Don’t hold your breath.

Title	I just want her to admit that she regrets it!
Author	DisciplinePast7260
Upvotes	27
Comments	51
Date	December 8, 2025 1:40 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1phcnbd/i_just_want_her_to_admit_that_she_regrets_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-just-want-her-to-admit-that-she-regrets-it.1568352 https://theredarchive.com/post/1568352

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