“He Used Me For My Body” makes no sense as an excuse

Gravel_Roads · 2025-12-18T19:33:11+00:00

This isn't about consent. You're confused about what the phrase means.

"He wanted me for my body" is the opposite of "He wanted me for who I am as a person."

It means he doesn't give a shit about her, he just wanted to smash - you know, "use only her body", instead of wanting to talk to her or love her or share a life with her. And when a woman learns this, it hurts her feelings because she mistook his interest as being sincerely interested in her as a person.

Men could also say this, or say "She only wanted me for my wallet" and it'd be the same sentiment. Because no one likes learning that someone they thought liked them doesn't actually like them at all.

ta06012022 · 2025-12-18T19:45:13+00:00

Your two options don’t reflect reality. In reality the desire to have sex comes with conditions.

Like say I want to have sex with a woman if she doesn’t have STDs. If she lies to me and actually has herpes, HIV, etc. I’m going to be angry because my desire for sex was conditional.

Likewise a woman might only want sex in the context of a committed relationship. If the guy lies about wanting commitment and immediately bails after sex, she’s also likely to be angry.

It goes the other way too. I’ve been explicit with some women that I only want something casual and then they push for something more. Again, I wanted sex on the condition that it was casual and wouldn’t have agreed to it otherwise. So yeah, I’ve been frustrated by that situation.

People get angry when you tell them one thing before sex and a different thing after.

kartu3 · 2025-12-18T20:14:42+00:00

I have heard a lot of women after hookups say something along the lines of “he used me for my body,” and it’s always confused me.

It is not a hard concept (and also an answer to "BUH FEMALEZ OF OUR SPISHIZ CAN EASILY GET SNUSNU").

Women, naturally, look for someone who would not easily dump them. Because, you know, pregnancy is 9 freaking month.

OH BOY, THIS HAS BEEN POSTED, THIS MUST BE PINNED IN THIS SUB

Are women as horny as men?

attendquoi · 2025-12-18T20:24:02+00:00

If men don't like this phrase, they should stop lying about wanting a relationship when all they really want is sex 🤷🏻‍♀️

Novadina · 2025-12-18T21:35:22+00:00

I’ll give some examples of when I’ve felt like this, so maybe you can gain some understanding.

Hit it off with a dude at a party, we enjoyed talking and then making out. I wanted a mutually fun hookup. He puts a condom on, enters me, and finishes in about 10 seconds. I did not have any orgasms. He goes to sleep. Did I consent? Yes. Did I feel used? Also yes. You say “you used each others bodies” but in fact I was not allowed to use his body at all, he didn’t let me ride him or anything, he ended the encounter when I thought it was just beginning! I felt like he masturbated into me, not like I had sex. When he woke up he told me he had a girlfriend who didn’t want to have sex, and thanked me for giving him an experience he felt “denied”. He asked if he could call me up more! Lmao, no.

Here’s another one. I meet a guy on a dating site. He claims he’s looking for a relationship. After a few dates he tells me he really likes me. Then one day he comes over and some of his friends call and are going to do a group thing, he wants to hang out with them, but says we should have sex first. I also want to hang out with his friends with him, as I thought we were dating and he liked me, but when I mention that he freaks out and insists he doesn’t even want me to MEET his friends. I push him on why and eventually he tells me he really just wants sex with me, he doesn’t want to “hang out”, and the times we hung out just together (like going on dates) he was only “tolerating” so I would have sex with him. He also insisted ALL men feel this way about women and I was delusional if I thought any man actually would like me as a person! Did I consent to sex? Yes. But I thought he liked me, and in reality, he just liked my body, so I felt hurt and used.

My problem is when women choose to have sex with men and then say that he was using her. The reason it bothers me so much is because there was consent provided, and consent means that sex was wanted by both parties.

Consenting to sex doesn’t mean we can’t be used for our bodies, it’s two separate concepts. You seem to think being used means being raped, but that’s not what it means at all.

There’s nothing wrong with regretting something. Everyone has dumb hookup stories they regret, but they make it so 1 sided

I didn’t really regret these experiences, actually. I was able to learn signs of patterns to recognize that helped me avoid these things in the future.

mcmlxiv1 · 2025-12-18T19:37:38+00:00

Or 3. Women always want to victimize themselves. They know someone will feel sorry for them and they can maintain their ego and reputation because “Big bad Chad took advantage of her” the poor thing didn’t even know what a penis was.

Can a woman be a hoe if she never admits to having sex?

OffTheRedSand · 2025-12-18T20:40:37+00:00

As a gay man I’ve been used for my body before, and I guess I’ve used people for their bodies before. Meaning we did have casual sex, granted it’s different between two men since men are extremely sexual from the get go and with each other, it’s much more blatant.

It has nothing to do with consent, women aren’t saying the man abused or raped her, but she’s probably saying he only saw her as a casual sex prospect instead of a dating prospect, which is different.

Women who feel used probably wanted more, and may or may not have been fooled by a dude who showed interest in dating but then flipped it around and stopped showing interest after sex.

Now I do somewhat agree it’s not a good “excuse” I think it’s on the woman to vet better and scan for men who are not really interested in her, but this will just result in women making men jump through hoops to get sex which men hate, but the opposite is women feeling used for sex.

I’ve seen an argument that “well you did give him sex which mean you like it so why you mad even if he left? You agreed to it” and yes that’s fair but like, she wanted more. It’s fair to be annoyed by him leaving.

It’s like men wanting to date but then get a date and it’s a date! But it’s mostly the woman using the date for a free meal. Can I say the dude should be happy he’s not dateless anymore and he DID in fact go on a date? So he shouldn’t be unhappy. See how the logic is a bit faulty?

Yupperdoodledoo · 2025-12-18T20:22:30+00:00

Then you don’t understand what women mean when they say that. They mean the guy wasn’t interested in getting to know them better, didn’t appreciate them as a whole human being, didn’t think they were special and led them to think they felt differently. Almost every guy who has a lot of ONS leads women to think they are interested in more than just a one night stand, like more about the woman than her body. They are dishonest.

bluestjuice · 2025-12-18T20:50:01+00:00

This will only make sense if you are able to put yourself in the headspace of a person who does not want to have sex that only happens at the physical level.

Many people experience sexual desire as part of a package that includes them connecting on a personal level with the person they are having sex with. Lacking that element, they feel disappointed and upset. If they made efforts beforehand to make sure this was happening and their sex partner offered affirmative noises that turned out to be untrue, they may also feel misled and cheated out of the experience they were looking for.

Lemon_gecko · 2025-12-18T19:33:13+00:00

OR 3) there was a conditions under which she wanted to have sex and he lied meaning conditions for consent were not met.

Minute_Criticism_844 · 2025-12-18T19:54:54+00:00

It’s a common sentiment here that an n count over 0 makes a woman undateable. While also believing that if a woman doesn’t immediately have sex she’s not interested and also undateable.

Clearly sex with a man is a much more degrading and devaluing experience than sex with a woman. A woman who risked having sex thinking she was in a relationship will feel betrayed at being tricked. Because having sex with men makes men view you as disgusting.

ThatBitchA · 2025-12-18T19:49:35+00:00

It makes perfect sense when the man finds the woman ugly and is just having sex with her to get laid. Or the man lied to get laid. Or the man wants nothing to do with her but will have sex with her anyway.

All things men in this sub have said they do or would love to do.

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DrAlbino1 · 2025-12-18T19:30:31+00:00

r/WomenAreNotIntoMen

wtknight · 2025-12-18T20:16:21+00:00

I think that it makes sense when she is love bombed or deceived. Almost all women are not going to say this is the casual sex was mutually agreed upon beforehand, although some of these women may still be upset about how he treats her during the sex.

MarioWilson122 · 2025-12-18T20:29:19+00:00

Well they have to be saying this, because they want to get something else out of it, other then sex. SO I guess it makes sense in their heads, since for most men they want more then just sex. No other reason to say this, when both parties get to enjoy the experience, its not one that only men get to enjoy. So it is silly whenever they try to speak of it in that way.

FuckLeRedditMods · 2025-12-18T21:22:55+00:00

Women lack accountability and can't say they make poor choices in people so it's easier to play the victim.

Title	“He Used Me For My Body” makes no sense as an excuse
Author	armsdownheadback456
Upvotes	25
Comments	143
Date	December 18, 2025 6:21 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ppy0zm/he_used_me_for_my_body_makes_no_sense_as_an_excuse/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/he-used-me-for-my-body-makes-no-sense-as-an-excuse.1569174 https://theredarchive.com/post/1569174

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