In the absence of your own desire to improve yourself, lie to the allegedly superficial women who want an educated, driven partner. His post, my answer. The comments were a cesspool of twisted validation for him and denigration of her. I had to say something.

Stargazerlily425 · 2020-08-21T13:29:46+00:00

Also, props to the sister who backed me up 👍👍👍

oldncranky1982 · 2020-08-21T13:51:40+00:00

If men are allowed to have standards then so are women. I've dated, and probably would still date, blue-collar men, but these tend to be tradesmen. Carpenters, plumbers, etc. A couple of them owned their own businesses and made an excellent living. The living isn't the important part to me (although I'd be lying if I claimed it didn't matter), it's the drive and the willingness to better yourself. I got my BA at 33. I did it with an autistic child, a no-good husband, and daily panic attacks. I walked out with cum laude, 2 senior thesis projects, and having worked on campus for two different departments. I work hard, I always have. I have to be with someone who has the same commitment to their family and themselves. I don't look down on people who aren't educated, but I do look down on people who refuse to better themselves.

Honestly, much of what keeps people in their place is the fear of being inadequate. You will feel that way as you climb the ladder. It's not comfy, but bravery isn't the absence of fear, it's doing what you know you have to do anyway.

pickmieshaexorcist · 2020-08-21T13:34:15+00:00

Yes to everything, and also, if the roles were reversed and he was the highly educated one with a good career, he would likely want the same in a woman. Despite what LVM say about “He DoEsN’t CaRe AbOuT yOuR CaReEr OnLy YoUr YoUtH And LoOkS”, the evidence does not bear this out. Statistically, people end up partnered with people with similar education levels or in similar classes of wealth.

GenerousD-mensions · 2020-08-21T15:16:43+00:00

Oh wow, he was super triggered by your response! 😂

The way he keeps saying he's glad you'd swipe left on him and that he wants nOtHiNg To Do WiTh WoMeN lIkE yOu!!!! but is still considering bullshitting about his career the future, knowing full well that that's something women he claims to hate take into consideration when looking for a match is just... so far beyond stupid.

The bar is so low that there are plenty of women in the world who'll date a guy with a job (ANY job) so maybe he should stay in his lane and try dating them, instead of trying to trick the supposedly superficial women that he "can't stand" into wasting their time on him. 🙄

Stargazerlily425 · 2020-08-21T15:55:54+00:00

Wow, he was so desperate to respond to me that he actually responded to a thread I posted on another sub (but not this one!). Let me point out also the fact that he's evidently a custodian at a school, and he has a severe porn addiction. This worries me tremendously.

BasieSkanks · 2020-08-21T13:29:05+00:00

I loved your response. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a man with ambition and drive. Also, if the guy wants to lie about his career, he should go right ahead. I’m sure he’ll be able to pretend he lives the life of a lawyer whilst he’s earning a cleaner’s wage. That would be very easy to pull off! /s

PhoenixRisingAsap · 2020-08-21T14:24:11+00:00

Men : “it’s totally okay for men to want beautiful attractive slim women with big butts because we like what we like and can’t change it” Also men : “how dare you want a partner with an education and career”

EclecticBarbarella · 2020-08-21T14:04:30+00:00

We’re not responsible for her standards triggering his insecurities. The way he says “don’t tell me to get another job during a pandemic” like... I’ve been having some issues at work. Do I expect it to be as easy to find another job as it was prior? Probably not, I know a lot of companies are pressed for money. But you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take so I’m still looking and applying if something fits. He sounds like he doesn’t want to improve, but doesn’t want to be graded on what he won’t improve, he sounds like he’s given up on life. That’s not attractive.

fastidiousadipose · 2020-08-21T14:14:20+00:00

This is an easy fix

Ask specifics about his job (without sounding like an interrogation, just a simple of my ex is a lawyer, he would do this n that what do u think about . ..)

Talk about a nice bar from a nice part of town

Ask for more pics, no suit pics or loose fitted suits means he ain't it

Watch him disappear.

amiranda00 · 2020-08-21T15:34:33+00:00

Bruh a person commented and lumped in nurses in the same list as custodians, janitors, and garbage collectors. Lmao haaaaawhat?

“We need janitors, nurses, custodians, garbage collectors, and delivery men. These are essential workers we cannot properly function without.”

I get it. We absolutely need these type of workers. However, I don’t think there is anything wrong with a driven and successful woman to want her partner to match her success and ambition. Whatever that may mean to a woman.

No one is shitting on his job.

Summerisle7 · 2020-08-21T17:20:28+00:00

If he's in a union job and has seniority, he's probably making ok money and has good benefits. If he lives in a lower COL area, he could be smart with his money and own a home. He could absolutely find a girlfriend at the same socio-economic level as him*. He's not going to get a doctor, lawyer, or CEO to date him, that's just facts. Same as a male doctor probably would not seriously date a woman who was a custodian.

*Except he'll never find a girlfriend because his problems go a lot deeper than the status of his job. He's a mess in many, many other ways.

ItsFreezen · 2020-08-21T16:45:49+00:00

He's probably going to scam 20 year old's into believing he is successful.

daisy_0720 · 2020-08-21T16:03:00+00:00

Why is it 'shallow' to want a man whose means and lifestyle are compatible with your own? I have a good job. I go on about four foreign holidays a year, I love spa days/weekends, I eat out at nice restaurants, I invest in my property, I have a gym membership, I wear nice clothes and buy good quality beauty products and like to visit cultural and artistic places.

What on earth is the point of me having a life partner that can't afford to do any of those things? Am I supposed to pay for him to tag along? Or leave him a home where he'll stew in resentment and cheat as 'revenge'?

chateauduchat · 2020-08-21T14:10:56+00:00

WOW. I was nodding my head like crazy. You spoke the truth. Every single word of it. Thank you. 👏🏻💕

lupeytoons · 2020-08-21T14:12:10+00:00

Yes girl🙌🏻🙌🏻 I had a guy try to blame his lack of a job on the pandemic when I told him I only wanted to date men with stable careers at our age(both 28). He hadn’t had a stable career or gotten a college degree even before the pandemic.. but sure let’s blame the last 6 months for a decade of bad decisions

shortywannarock · 2020-08-21T22:37:12+00:00

Honestly that entire comment section is just hilarious, but this one definitely takes the cake:

Jeepers my high libido female brain thinks that plumbers are crazy sexy hot but my brain does tend to fill in a lot of blanks on your behalf lol i mean, if you can somehow finangle your way around installing a kitchen faucet think of what you could do with me ;) Manual dexterity and manual competence is a very sexy thing on a man holy shit

But i am high libido and I think of sex first and lifestyle afterwards because I can make my own money but I cant go fuck myself no matter how many people have told me to hahaha!

A plumber with zero debt? Hot!!!

1000% written by a male plumber

girlyispowerful · 2020-08-21T16:44:40+00:00

My mom literally got her degree in law when she was raising me and my older brother. And she was a single mom and she had to work too! That’s why I don’t feel sorry for the lazy fuckers. Women literally are expected to multitask and overwork themselves and nobody ask them if they are tired. 🤡🤡🤡

fancypantsdance92 · 2020-08-21T18:55:32+00:00

I went to read the original and I just can't. He's seriously twisted everything you've said to try and continue to make himself the victim. It's mind blowing, really.

paperbagskirt · 2020-08-21T13:49:38+00:00

Sorry homey, you need to have a graduate degree to ride this ride. Lol

beautysubthroww · 2020-08-21T16:27:57+00:00

What gets me are the comments from PickMes saying they don't care about a man's career as long as he has "a GoOD PeRSonALiTY". Do these people think career/education and a nice personality seen mutually exclusive?? If anything it's men like the OP who have no ambition and a chip in their shoulders about their job that have the worst personalities. Sis, you can have high standards for material things and compatibility at the same time.

sexualfoodpantry · 2020-08-21T18:46:45+00:00

WELL SAID. I agree with every single word!

Men have NO problem having the same or even higher standards when it comes to women. Poor? Uneducated? Only if she's really young and hot!

But when it comes to them, OMG how dare we be so superficial!

BeADecentHumanBeing · 2020-08-21T17:24:35+00:00

Love your eloquent response, it’s captures everything perfectly 👌

purasangria · 2020-08-21T23:02:53+00:00

He wants an attractive woman, and attractive women want successful men.

Maybe he needs to lower his standards, and then his profession will be acceptable? The fact that he feels he needs to lie about his job means that he knows that he's out of his league.

Either level up, or lower your standards, dude.

MistressSelkie · 2020-08-21T18:10:51+00:00

If he is a custodian at a school or hospital and has realistic expectations from the women he is seeking he shouldn’t have much trouble finding someone. Like, custodian isn’t the most glamorous job, but it’s consistent, pays well enough in most areas, and in settings like schools/hospitals/nursing homes people usually have pretty positive associations with them.

Of course women who are in careers where they wouldn’t have much in common with him wouldn’t be attracted to it, but there are plenty of women also working normal jobs that aren’t glamorous. IMO it sounds like he is either pursuing women who aren’t realistic options for his situation or there is more going on and something else about him is making them head for the hills.

KetoKittenAround · 2020-08-22T00:34:35+00:00

Damn ... you went full 🔥🔥🔥🔥

I am your fan.

Oswald-C-C · 2020-08-21T15:47:01+00:00

MOOD! when I started dating my ex he was working with computers and was doing really well for himself. a few months in he moved from his small town and picked up a job washing dishes as a "temporary" stop to keep him afloat while he was looking for something better. guess what he was doing a year later? yup. he wanted to be a tattoo artist and after pushing him to get a job at a shop he quit that after two months because it wasn't exactly what he wanted to do and went back to washing dishes. he asked if I was embarrassed by him washing dishes and tbh I was and had to point out when I had started dating him he was doing MUCH better for himself. LVM. ugh.

eyeahyabasic · 2020-08-21T22:35:30+00:00

There’s nothing wrong with being a custodian. My mom is an accountant and once told me that of everyone she worked with the person handling their money best was a custodian. Because he handled money well he was going to have a really nice retirement, while some people with more prestigious jobs were looking at not being able to retire at all.

IntrepidStorage · 2020-08-21T21:12:49+00:00

Knew a guy once. He really stepped up his game when he was told about a child he hadn't planned for. Dude's #1 ambition is to be a good father, the job is a means to an end and any career change or advancement would be done with kid's welfare in mind. Not everyone's cup of tea, for sure, but career ambition isn't the only kind of ambition out there and that's OK.

Unfortunately, the fellow in the OP doesn't seem to have any ambition at all other than getting laid. That's...actually probably why he's single.

teaandcoffee717 · 2020-08-21T22:17:55+00:00

My bestfriend is pickme-ish. Her boyfriend of 7+ years is in my opinion INCREDIBLY low value and bummy. He has an addiction to cars and even lashes out on her when someone goes wrong with his car... and spends thousands upon thousands of dollars on his car but will take her to Mcdonalds for her birthday, and she's never experienced an orgasm before and treats her life a sex doll.

On top of that? He's a custodian for the school district at twenty three (started at 20) and even judges my bestfriend for how she chooses to spend her money because he works at a job thats unionized and brags about how much money he makes from it and that she needs to be more responsible with her stuff because she doesn't always have a stable job (for health reasons)

What irks me is not the whole janitor/custodian job title, because hey- someone has got to do it. But I can see why women are rejecting this guy- not because of the job title, but because you can easily tell he lacks ambitition and doesn't work on doing better. Same goes with my best friends bf. He literally holds her back from her adventurous dreams, judges her for how she spends her money while bringing nothing to the table for her and just doesn't seem "stable" in other aspects of his life.

enchantedglow · 2020-08-22T10:04:58+00:00

Love your response. You explained that perfectly 👏🏻

purasangria · 2020-08-21T17:58:32+00:00

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