Secret Phone

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February 7, 2018

Background: 2 months on the Red Pill. This is my second post. My first post after I found MRP I got bloodied pretty good and rightfully so. I was told to stop being an Idiot and go to sidebar and start reading. I've not stopped reading. Still have a lot of reading to do. The rest of my background isn't important for this post.

Body: Yesterday, while my wife was out, I was sitting on my bed beginning to write my first OYS post on MRP when I heard a buzzing sound. It wasn't coming from my phone so I searched for the source and found a slightly charged prepaid phone in my wife's shoe box in the closet. "Classic sign of an affair. Fuck me." was the first thing that came to my mind. The phone is locked so I'm unable to access any info.

I'm planning on putting the phone back, but I'm not sure how to approach this. I don't have enough evidence to prove an affair, but obviously she's hiding some major shit from me. Any recommendations on the best approach?

Parting comment: I will be getting PRK (laser eye surgery) later today and won't be able to reply to comments for several days, but appreciate any feedback.


Went to Target, found the exact same phone. Put sim chip in the phone and no luck the account is password protected before grabbing data from AT&T. Don't know my wife's email address password.

Post Information
Title Secret Phone
Author loading__Alpha
Upvotes 24
Comments 113
Date 07 February 2018 12:36 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret32 points33 points  (20 children) | Copy

Right. Sorry man, you're screwed.

Put the phone back, don't confront her, but visit a lawyer, find out what your options are.

Don't do anything that isn't in your best interests.

Then, only when you're fully prepared, do you confront.

And yeah, there is only one reason to keep a secret phone. Sorry dude.


Act normally. Act normally until you have met with lawyer and are prepared. Read The Art of War to remind yourself. Don't do anything stupid.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret11 points12 points  (15 children) | Copy

Agree with SSS.

Lawyer up and do what you need to do. For shits and giggles, you can buy a voice activated recorder and leave it where you think she will be talking. The bedroom is a good bet.

[–]SeamusAwl9 points10 points  (12 children) | Copy

She clearly has done her research into operational security. There is a good chance there is very little voice communication and the burner is used for text conversations. However, getting a voice recorder that looks like a pen and slipping it into her handbag may garner better results.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret11 points12 points  (10 children) | Copy

I think that over time, people get sloppy. But really, he needs to divorce her ass, anything else is just morbid curiosity.

Really, the thing to do here is, get all the paperwork together, then take the phone. Don't mention it and watch her scour the house for a few days.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret11 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy

take the phone. Don't mention it and watch her scour the house for a few days

my thought exactly. if your going to burn it down, you might as well roast some marshmallows while your at it

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

Definitely time to fiddle while Rome burns.

The "Oh fuck!" face is the best. However, if she's as checked out as she seems to be, all this GOTCHA! BS might generate a less than satisfying shrug of the shoulders.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

the opposite of love and all . . .

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yep. The apathy shows once the switch is flipped.

In that moment she never loved you, can't understand what she saw in you, and resents you for manipulating her for so long.

Your turn is over...On to the next.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy


hey hon, whats the matter?

I lost something

I'll help you find it, what does it look like? What is it?

Uhh, oh here it is, it was this pencil?

you lost a yellow pencil?


Well, thank god, for a moment there, I thought it was something with severe repercussions if you lost it!

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

I would take the phone now, and still not say anything.

By time OP has his ducks in a row, he might not know where the phone is any longer.

[–]gameoflibidos3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I kind of agree with this. And never mention anything about it.

When your shit is in order, if there is evidence of an affair on there... (which I'm 90% sure there will be) it will help you in the divorce in many states.

[–]Rotten_Red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you do take it be sure to remove the battery so that it doesn't ring or vibrate or show up on any kind of find my iphone gps.

[–]SeamusAwl6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

100% agree. And for fun, he should monitor the adultery subreddit for someone posting on a possible opsec failure. He may get more info into her activities. anything that will help in his impending divorce.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The ol cad. Hide her gloves and laugh

[–]stonewall19790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In my state, that's a felony. You can only record yourself in a conversation. Hiding recorders or gps teachers on a car are going to get you in big trouble.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

OP, you potentially could take the SIM card out, get a USB SIM reader, and use a program like SIM Recovery Pro to view the text messages. Make sure you have a hour of uninterrupted time.

People don't think of the SIM card for text messages,but yeah.

[–]loading__Alpha[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Look at update. Will try to look into USB sim card reader.

[–]SeamusAwl6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

there is only one reason to keep a secret phone

And she has been at this for some time. If she has a burner phone, she has done her research into operational security.

[–]JudgeDoom697 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Put the phone back, don't confront her, but visit a lawyer, find out what your options are.


She's already gone. She has a boyfriend, or several.

If you confront her about the phone you'll just get lied to.

[–]JudgeDoom691 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Act normally until you have met with lawyer and are prepared

Once he has his ducks in a row, he should call her on her burner phone and say "the divorce papers are on the kitchen counter"

[–]InChargeManRed Beret26 points27 points  (2 children) | Copy

I think I saw you have 4 kids. This sucks, but divorce is the only option. Similar to most posts I have an addition regarding giving her an "out" to save face:

  1. Do the background work asap, get the divorce paperwork ready, get financials ready, all the standard stuff. Make an easy to read summary of the divorce agreement. Then take the phone.

  2. Plan to have someone watching the kids away from the house but where you can collect them if needed, ideally with one of your family members.

  3. Prepare the lawyer, inform them you may be coming in at a certain time to get it all executed (don't sign things at home, there would be the question of coercion).

  4. When she arrives, record the event (inform her it is being recorded). Tell her you are doing the talking, she should just listen. Pull out the phone, place it to the side (in your possession still), place a spare SIM card next to it, say "I have two more copies elsewhere" (she doesn't know WTF that means but will assume you know everything). Tell her you have prepared an amicable divorce settlement, here is the summary, please read it through. If we can go about this in a mature manner XXXX is the story we will give for the separation, the kids, your family, your friends will never hear anything else. It is important to give her an out. From there, if she is "guilty" (which she 99.9% is) she will agree to the terms, and you can head over to the lawyer and finish it off. Don't entertain excuses, don't second guess yourself. If in the 0.01% chance she is somehow not cheating, she will insist that she unlock the phone and show you. Don't ask her to unlock it, that shows that you don't actually "know".

I'm sorry this is what's happening, but this is now your reality, you have to step up and do what is right. MRP will support you as much as possible, but you need to take charge.

[–]loading__Alpha[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. Going to Own My SHIT.

[–]HATEFULretard3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is good advice

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret13 points14 points  (9 children) | Copy

lets say there is a valid reason for the phone.

there isnt by the way. but lets say there is.

If she gives you that reason, will you stop suspecting her?

If she blows up on you for something because of it... will it make her less guilty of what ever it is in your eyes?

you can always fuck with her and take the phone and leave it in odd places.

Maybe next to her vibrator?

[–]PersaeusRed Beret5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy

lets say there is a valid reason for the phone.

she's actually a CIA agent

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

"I feel like she should have told him this"

[–]PersaeusRed Beret3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

the feelz will set you free

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

its kind of like the feeling when you pass gas, isn't it?

[–]crimson_chris0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Dammit. You beat me to the spy angle. Maybe she's selling drugs?

[–]PersaeusRed Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

at least she'd be adding value then. never met a female drug dealer come to think of it?

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Men sell drugs, women sell pussy. It's one of life's great - and few - constants.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I knew several. They always had the best E. And pot, if you like that.

[–]2gunsgetsome2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe she's cooking meth. OP, did you recently buy a carwash?

[–]2ndalRed Beret11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

If this were me, I'd:

Put the phone back and not mention anything.

Begin the work of finding concrete evidence. Prove my assumptions beyond a reasonable doubt.

Assuming the obvious, that there is no good reason to have a burner, visit a divorce lawyer and take their advice for how to handle the rest.

[–]amalgamator1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep - hire a PI

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

I have read all the posts in here, and I am going to recommend something I have not seen yet.

Are you in the US?

Go to ECCIE and find your hometown and look at the escorts. Look at their pictures and see if you see your snowflake.

To get a burner phone, for just one guy is almost a little overkill OPSEC for a woman these days. They give zero fucks.

The fact that she has a spending problem, as well as other things you have posted, makes me think she is either into drugs, or is an escort.

Is your wife hot, or even remotely hot? Does she have materialistic things that you cant explain?

Smells more fishy to me, than just a side bro, but who knows.

Edit: Install a keylogger on your PC or hers, whereever she gets her email from. Send her an email about an event in town and tell her to look at it, forcing her to log into her email. Later, go and look at the keystrokes.

Repeat the process with the SIM card, way easier to put a logger on a PC than a phone.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

ooh, suddenly, a new concept arrives!

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

calling /u/loading__Alpha

Yours eyes should be fine now. Where is our update at?

[–]unsolicitedaaadvice8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here’s what I would do.

  1. See if you can locate the phone via searching for a Bluetooth connection. This info is avail online. This way, if the phone gets moved, you could find it.
  2. Put the phone back.
  3. Make a plan that you need to go out of town. Share the plan with her well in advance.
  4. Hire a PI to tail her while you are out of town. I had a friend do this and he had hard evidence that day.

I think the phone is basically 100% chance evidence she’s cheating, but if you want her to admit it, she will gaslight or minimize things. I would want more, just for personal reasons.

Also get your affairs in order. Sorry, man. It’s some other guys turn.

[–]WesternhagenWinner8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

She most likely talks on that phone in her car. Voice activated mike in the car would probably reveal a lot. Talk to a lawyer to find out how your divorce is going to go, and to find out whether it's worth hiring an investigator to obtain proof of infidelity.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret7 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy

Put the surgery on hold.

If she cannot be trusted with this phone .... found

I would not trust my sight recovery with this cunt in my life

Lawyer up now

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

My wife had PRK. I drove her home, she was fine the next day. Driving the day after that...Simple outpatient.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

you actually give a fuck about her

OP has an LTR hiding something

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

PRK is fine. I know several people who had PRK. They all recovered fairly quickly.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

OP is not in a relationship with an honest SO

His sight is a major factor in his life

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Well, cant look at your original post because you’re hiding it from us so I have no idea about your background...

BUT, I do know this. Pay attention and write it down.


Read that as many times as you need to get it through your head. Regardless of what she says, you already know the answer.

[–]loading__Alpha[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ya... I deleted it like a pussy, but it was the most autistic victim puke imaginable. Sometimes shit posts have nuggets of value, mine had no value. I'll probably post a better background in OYS next week.

[–]nastynickdrRed Beret11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

Most likely your best option is to keep your mouth shut, gather more evidence, see an attorney and make your exit plan.

If you want to be 100% sure for peace of mind´s sake, you could wait for her to come home:

"I saw that phone on your shoe box ringing. Unlock it and show me."

If for whatever reason she doesnt let you see it on the spot (when she has no time to delete anything), time to see an attorney and plan your exit. The bad side of this approach is that you are showing her your hand and the divorce will be harder. But then you are 100% sure. Up to you.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy

Probably reverse these steps. As someone else said, have the paperwork ready and if she doesn't unlock the phone, then it's "Just sign here."

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

upvote for savagness

[–]mabden5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

Keep your mouth shut for the time being. Check if it has a sim card, if so you may be able to access text/call logs from it. If not, get one, put it in the card and then monitor.

Hire a divorce lawyer, have separation//divorce papers drawn up. Once in hand, have a sit down with her, the phone and the papers. Option her with what's on the phone or divorce.

[–]RPAlternate42Red Beret1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Actually the only (99%) option is divorce, either way.

The phone option just airs her secret.

If she chooses divorce, he has his answer. If she shows the phone, then she does so assuming he will let her side for her "mistake."

In this case, "mistake" involved deep planning and opsec.

I can't think of any non-nefarious reason to hide a burner phone from her husband.

The only outcome is divorce.

[–]mabden1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I can't think of any non-nefarious reason to hide a burner phone from her husband.

Neither can I.

The phone option just airs her secret.

Correct. Some guys (me) like to understand the depth of the betrayal. Some guys (not me) require irrefutable evidence to pull the trigger.

Regardless of her choice, come clean or divorce, the final decision (reconcile or divorce) is still the Op's to make.

[–]krystyin0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

1% of the time it is a friend that left the phone the night before. My wife's friend does this all the time - I find that phone all the time. First time I found it was the basement behind some books, next time in the car under the seat... have a little trust. She can't unlock it. [Not a real story - but if I was the wife that is what I'd say]

[–]RPAlternate42Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"okay, then let's take it to her house."

[–]Rotten_Red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If her female friend just forgot her phone it would be in plain sight, not hiding in a shoe box.
Is this a cheap flip phone? How many woman do you know that only have a flip phone as their main and only phone? I only know one woman like this and she is 87 years old and only uses the phone to talk. All younger woman have some kind of smart phone.

[–]lololasaurus4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Is there advantage in your state to proving adultery in divorce? Ie, is it a at fault state?

[–]Rotten_Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Even in a no fault state if he has some kind of real evidence of her cheating then it may be worth it to her to cooperate in the divorce for him to not go public with the info to her family, friends, coworkers, church, kids schools etc.

[–]RPAlternate42Red Beret4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

Everyone in here is trying to play secret agent private eye.

What a waste of fucking time.

Confront her, phone in hand, "anything you want to tell me?"

Regardless of what is said, the end result MUST be that she shows you what the fuck.

3 possibilities exist, in order of liklihood.:

  1. She refuses. Therefore, she is hiding things, lying, being deceitful, and has a history if affairs (you cuckold). Divorce is the outcome.
  2. She agrees. She shows you text messages, the evidence, the description if him going bll deep in her ass later. Divorce is the outcome.
  3. She agrees and nothing is on the phone because she deleted the messages afterwards (most likely). Divorce should still be the outcome, because you will be living your life with your mind wrapped around this whole episode.

Or stay married and continue being cucked... It happened once, it'll happen again.

She's a CrossFit instructor who has cheated on her husband. She is seeing guys who likely put you away in the tingles department on dialysis basis.

You know what is happening here. But confront her to finalize it and see the truth on her face.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

i agree on the spy games silliness. however, fact is, in some states him being able to PROVE adultery could have a significant impact on any alimony.

he needs legal advice STAT; and then maybe a PI

[–]bob13bob4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's not a waste of time. Most of us can think a step further than your post. The reason to stay silent is to get an early advantage on your opponent in the nasty fight to come, divorce..

[–]straius0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bank account changes are the only concrete advantage I've seen mentioned in waiting to confront.

Other than that, if he spends money on a PI then sure, the phone is somewhat moot so put it back.

They were already separated for two months anyway, the marriage was toast back then.

[–]wekacuck2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Maybe you can get a burner for the same network and swap SIM cards. There's a small chance the SIM card isn't locked and you can get some info off it (addressbook etc). Or if she's stupid you can play man-in-the-middle and relay messages. I don't think you can port her number to an online service (Google Talk etc) without having access to her account but worth considering. It's been a long time since I set one of those up. It may just use SMS confirmation and if the SIM works you should be able. But try it with the burner first to see if the prepaid pukes email confirmations.

Or just tell her that her secret phone rang and to pack her things and get the fuck out.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Or just tell her that her secret phone rang and to pack her things and get the fuck out.

This one is my favourite so far.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Or just tell her that her secret phone rang and to pack her things and get the fuck out.

This. I advocate divorce. My quality of life, finances and contact with kids improved so badly, that I would not waste any second of time over playing a private detective.

Unless a lawyer suggests that.

[–]2gunsgetsome2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Prepare your ditch kit (money, documents, etc.)

Get the divorce papers and settlement ready to serve.

Buy a remote control vibrator and put the buzzing part where the phone was.

While you're both in the room, hit the button. It might be prudent to do this when you have someone from your family staying the night, witness and all...

Be calm, play out the scene


Live happily ever after

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet3 points4 points  (23 children) | Copy

It's not uncommon for people to have multiple phones, but the fact that it's a prepaid burner and was hidden in a drawer isn't a good sign. Are you sure it's a burner phone? I have a couple of old phones in a drawer that would probably go off from time to time if they were still charged. I'm not saying this isn't important, but consider all options before you act.

I think the best course of action would be to monitor the phone and see what info you can get off of it. People talking about sim cards and stuff like that would work I guess. I honestly don't know shit about technology and don't really care enough to learn how to do it.

So I would probably address it head on. If this bitch is running around i want to know now so I can stop wasting my time on her. If it were me I would pull the phone out after she gets home and have her unlock it in front of me so I can check it. I don't think it will come off as insecure because it's a pretty big red flag, so an explanation is needed. If she gets defensive or tries to make excuses or accuse you of being insecure, that's further evidence that something is up.

I don't know the history of your relationship or anything, is there any previous evidence of cheating? Is this totally out of the blue? There's a lot of variables here that could matter. Either way, good luck.

[–]loading__Alpha[S] 1 point2 points  (18 children) | Copy

Yes. Prepaid phone. Phone was on and had 15% charge left on the phone.

She had an emotional affair 6 months ago. We we're then separated for 2 months.

Last month was a good month. I'm 6' 180 15% body fat. just maxed out BP at 205. Gamed her often last month had sex about 27 times.

End of last week she spent $400 on new clothes. I've been trying to get our finances in order. She's a spender and also went over budget by $300 bucks. I got pissed and lost frame. Right now going through the silent treatment.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

She had an emotional actual, physical affair 6 months ago.


[–]SeamusAwl6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes it was. An emotional affair doesnt go to the lengths of gettin and using a burner phone.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like the affair never ended. If it did, she wouldn’t still have the phone.

[–]sd4c6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Dude, your relationship is toast.

Find strange phone = Suspicious.

But, Emotional affair + separated + secret phone + it's prepaid + it's powered on = she is cheating on you by fucking someone, or she's using the phone to plan her own divorce.

Build your ark because the flood is coming very, very effing soon.

Never trust them again. EVER. Why? Because her optimal reproductive strategy is different than yours:

1) Have kids with a guy until he has no more time or money for more. If still fertile, find new guy.

2) Have kids with Guy 2 until he has no more time or money for more. If still fertile, find new guy...

3) When no longer fertile, browbeat final guy so that he can't move on to a new woman in response to my infertility. This way, he keeps investing in our/my kids.

Bonus Objective:
Trick a rich guy into thinking hot guy's kids are his.
Reward: 10,000 pts (each child)

Bonus Objective 2:
Get plastic surgery on crow's feet. Divorce dad of final batch, to shack up with a guy who'll contribute money just for the privilege of sex with an old, barren womb with a tight, worked-out body around it.
Reward: 50,000 pts

[–]PersaeusRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

That’s a really accurate description of some women I know irl .

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

emotional affair

emotional affair MY ASS

someone please sidebar this

Last month was a good month. I'm 6' 180 15% body fat. just maxed out BP at 205. Gamed her often last month had sex about 27 times.

She wants to be impregnated. Her goal is to have more babies. She's likely fucking someone else because in her reptilian brain you're an infertile male.

It's not the official stance of TRP/MRP, but for me, the only way to keep the LTR is to impregnate her once in 1.5-2 yrs. Because this is what the relationships are for.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Every 2 years or just one spawn

[–]gameoflibidos3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's GPS units you can get for about 120$. They can last almost 2 weeks on one charge. Costs around 25$ for one month of service.

Hide it in her car. You'll know everywhere she went logged for 2 weeks. When the car stopped, how long it was there, when it left.. etc.

If it's more than just texting, you'll find out in 2 weeks, and if its nothing.. she'll never know you tracked her.

Meanwhile, IMO.. you don't say shit. She only gaslight you if you mention it. Other than the one suggestion to demand she unlocks and shows it to you right then and there. But you can only approach that way in that if she refuses for any reason, you must assume affair and leave whether she ever shows you or not.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy

What kind of new clothes are you getting with a $100 budget?

Your a mess. She has a prepaid phone. She has cheated on you in the past, you say she is a Alpha Widow, and now she is a Cross-fit instructor or something?

She is fucking other MEN. Not just another MAN, MEN. Plural.

Or she is selling all her Cross-fitters steroids, which would be the only other reason for the burner phone. OPSEC.

She is leagues ahead of you here.

You measly 205 bench is nothing. You are skinny fat at 6' 180#

In light of this update, do like /u/cholomite said and confront her head on. Have her unlock the phone right there in front of you.

Go big or go home.

[–]loading__Alpha[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Acknowledged.. I'm a mess, still got a lot of reading and lifting to do. Just for clarity she went $300 over budget on groceries. $400 was on top of everything else. So much worse.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

There’s another flag.

That $300 Over was cash out at the register.

Dude. She’s bleeding you dry.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Step #1 should be establishing separate accounts. Go to the Bank today, and open up a checking account in your name only. Change your Direct Deposit to this account. Get your own checks and debit card.

Remove her from any joint credit cards in your name. Put a freeze on your credit so no new accounts can be opened.

When the SHTF you need to be protected from a $ standpoint. I have read accounts of men dropping their women, and they drain the bank account the next day.

You are headed for 1 of 2 possible outcomes.

The first is you accept the life of being a cuck. You know, and accept your wife has fucked other men and you are ok with that. You try to forgive her, take one for the "team" or "kids" and live a life of misery. She says, she will keep her legs closed, but she will not. She thinks about other men, while starfish fucking you.

The second is divorce. So, start planning for that.

Unless you are cool being a cuck?

[–]loading__Alpha[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Fuck being a cuckhold. Already thinking time frame on divorce. I'll be getting PRK in like 3 hours so I don't have a lot of time. Supposedly I'll be down and out for almost 5 days. Will start with what you suggested with bank accounts ASAP.

[–]SeamusAwl2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Being? You are one. She had a trickle truthed “emotional” affair where chad had his dick in her pussy, ass, and mouth at the same time.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

She had an emotional affair 6 months ago. We we're then separated for 2 months.

Didn't think that was worth mentioning earlier eh? Is she pregnant as well?

[–]loading__Alpha[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good point... it should have been added. She's not pregnant, she just got done with her period.

[–]tacoduck_1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

Not enough background. how long you been married? kids? Does your wife work? All these things will impact alimony.

I would not confront and hire a PI. a VAR in the car is a good idea as well. All of this is important from an alimony standpoint. Once you collect evidence of affair, see attorney and draw up paperwork for divorce.
Confront with divorce papers and ask to see the phone. If she balks or denies, file for D.

Cliffs: kill the puppy.

[–]loading__Alpha[S] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Married 12 years to alpha widow. 4 kids. Wife just started working as a CrossFit coach, but was stay at home mom for the whole 12 years.

[–]mabden2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

Wife just started working as a CrossFit coach

Yep, your screwed. That crossfit crowd is like a cult and rife with affairs.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

my buddy starting telling how his wife gets her daily WOD (workout of the day) at Crossfit. i love him to death; but i couldn't help but start laughing. lot's a wives getting wads at crossfit.

seriously, i need to join and get me some of this crossfit pussy

[–]DanceMonkeeDanceRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Are you saying she's likely to come into contact with hawt men? Noooooo.

[–]FFDGTDS0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Plus DD implants, if I read that correctly.

[–]DanceMonkeeDanceRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Extremely important info that got left out of the original post. Plus being serrated for 2 months.

[–]FFDGTDS0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It has been my experience that women with fake boobs tend to be prone to cheating. Fake boobs may have to do with approval seeking, which could easily go hand in hand with cheating.

[–]tacoduck_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dont confront. Get proof of affair- File. This should get you out of alimony, which is a big deal if you are making 100k a year.

Or see attorney, draft divorce docs, and confront. Demand total compliance and access to unlocked burner phone. Id bet she will gaslight/ lie/ deny, and not give you the phone, which confirms the affair.

File first, kick her ass out of the house, and live an epic life. Kill the puppy.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

I had an girlfriend - many moons ago - in my late 20's. She had a burner which I didn't knwo about.

She used it to text me in the guise of another girl I was kinda flirting with at the time. Sending me flirty texts, me responding. She set up a meet with me. I said I'd meet her. It was in a pub. My girlfriend showed up. Confronted me about the whole thing.

Fucking psycho bitch.

Totally unrelated I know, but it came into my head when I saw this thread.

[–]christmas_miracle_690 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Lmao that is fucking awesome but also insane. Probably best you moved on from that.

Also probably something I would consider doing myself in my BP days LOL

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, moved on from that looney. Ended up fucking the girl she was pretending to be. So it all worked out good. :)

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is one of those times when you don’t need to “convict” her or get her to admit anything. It’s an egregious overstep. HOWEVER; the element of surprise is your ally here. You should be 100% into divorce strategy planning. Visit Wilsonville lawyers and start getting cash stored. If she is SAHM, now is the time to get her working. Good luck. Now is the time to be strong and maintain focus on building your exit plan.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Divert paycheck into a separate account to get a divorce fund established.

[–]izual190 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Play the long game. Make sure she has a job with a similar income Ievel as you. Begin to separate your finances. Have papers drawn up. Begin looking into schools for your children. Have all your shit in a row and then confront her. Ask to have the phone unlocked. If she declines, serve the papers. Make sure her entire friends circle knows she is a cheating whore for bonus points. Fuck her sister.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Anyone ever see the old bit where there is marker/paint on binoculars or something? It would be hilarious if he did something like that on the phone. "Caught Red Handed"

[–]2gunsgetsome0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

OP: "Why does the mic on this phone smell like cum?"

[–]spellignerror0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you want to get your wife's passwords, put a keystroke logger on her computer.

[–]TirionTheHallowed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Keep us updated op. Good luck

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Verify whatever you need to. Four kids, I can't take lightly. Any attempt to have a convo with her to get at the truth is a waste of time. All that you learn must be on your own.

You aren't looking to make a court case here, just get what you need to make that final ongoing decision to keep or dump her, IF, you can verify.

Do not show your hand, EVER. You know that you need to keep an eye on her based on the past. STFU and do that.

It's really a matter of deciding when/if your turn is over.

[–]sd4c-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Take the phone, put it in airplane mode or in a Faraday bag (RF barrier). She can remotely wipe the phone if she discovers it's missing.

Replace the phone with a fried, but identical, model. Make it look very similar to the one you have borrowed. Maybe use a blank SIM card. The thing should look as if her regular burner just kind of died.

Realize, there's a slim chance, extremely slim- that there is an explanation other than cheating. Maybe she uses it to browse particularly nasty porn. Maybe she's been fantasizing about an affair, but sends nudes that aren't hers. Maybe she found the phone in your front lawn and is holding onto it thinking it's yours. You need more information.

Take the borrowed device to the most tech-savvy person you trust, or that someone you trust knows. It can't be a tech that is a friend of your wife, he could try to snitch on you in hopes to get laid. Have the trusted tech find a way into the phone and SIM.

You should've posted the burner phone's carrier (eg, Verizon), phone model (LG G4), and nickname (LG "Blaze") here in your post. Someone probably would've already PMed you how to get into it, or at least how to read what you could.

Stay calm, and stay sober. Collect more information ASAP.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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