Genuinely nice guy versus Nice Guy (TM)

PaintingOfJoan · 2019-06-16T10:06:03+00:00

Easiest way to tell is how he treats people he doesn’t wanna fuck.

flyinghorse1 · 2019-06-16T11:57:35+00:00

Keanu Reeves is an actual nice guy.

IndigoPill · 2019-06-16T10:46:11+00:00

What defines genuinely nice people from those faking it is largely motive.

A conversation with a few well placed questions will reveal a person's motives and driving forces. As an example think of a telemarketer or chugger trying to sell you something. They appear nice at first to catch your attention then quickly run into their sales spiel.

Fake people are exactly like that, they are emulating a behaviour so they get what they want.
A person who is being nice and wants to get to know you is not going to constantly slip in sexual innuendo, they are not going to turn the conversation into them getting what they want. The conversation with a nice person will generally be somewhat of an equal interaction, it will go both ways.

Being a nice person is not about being "alpha", it's not something you do to get what you want. You're either a nice person or you are not. Being submissive, dominant, alpha, beta, male, female.. none of that is of importance. As I said, you're either nice or you are not.

Pretending to be nice may grease the wheels of progress to get you laid but it doesn't make you a nice person, au contraire.. if you emulate behviours to get what you want you are a manipulative jerk.

SweetLikeTupeloHoney · 2019-06-16T12:41:23+00:00

A genuinely nice guy would be among my first choice for a partner. A distinction does exist and I don't really want anything to do with a nice guy who is keeping score to be rewarded for his niceness without displaying his prices.

A genuine nice guy is going to have an all around good aura. He will be good to people all around him - above , below, wait staff, gardeners, smile at strangers. He will offer to help without being asked and for me , he might even anticipate what I need without being over bearing. A guy who is faking nice for sex is usually quicker to anger as he is on a time table to move on and comes across as fake.

A genuinely nice guy is incredibly sexy because his presence is one of elevation or maturity. He just "gets it". It is a spiritual superiority. He's not hustling, he is not trying to sell me anything, he is just here to make the world a better place. How can that not be sexy?

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-06-16T14:48:56+00:00

agreeableness is generally not a sexy trait, it is a dad trait

voting to stop using AF/BB and bring back cads and dads

Reisiluu · 2019-06-16T09:52:25+00:00

Yes
It's easy to tell. A truly nice guy is nice to everyone. The pretender is only nice to women he finds attractive and will do things for Stacy he wouldn't do for Becky. I've known both kinds of guys personally.
Genuine niceness is an attractive quality. These guys can be alpha or beta depending on their ability to draw boundaries, their social skills, their willingness to pursue what they want and their physical appearance.

PennnyLame · 2019-06-16T17:57:58+00:00

1) yes. But I don’t really buy the distinction in your OP (which I will grant is sorta the new definition). In my day Nice Guy^TM referred to guys who would get upset about not having gf’s/female attention and say “But I am so NICE!” because being “nice” was all they had going for them. Then there was what “nice” actually meant. They weren’t kind, generous or principled- they were supplicating and accommodating and non-confrontational. Often, they were like this to everyone which means they put up with shitty people. They don’t question assholes because they are too weak to challenge them. And assholes are less likely to say “Gross” when the Nice Guy^TM starts calling the girl who won’t date him a “bitch” and “slut.” Nice Guy^TM s are the worst kind of Slytherins.

2) Nice Guys^TM usually go for people in their circles and they are a loud bunch. You figure out a guy is Nice^TM like you find out he’s vegan: HE’LL FUCKING TELL YOU.

3) I am not attracted to “nice.” I am attracted to kind, generous, and principled. I am attracted to internally navigated men not those that bow to and follow whoever is in front of them.

flamingoinghome · 2019-06-16T09:29:51+00:00

Yes.
It's not about "easy"--there's a very specific "tell". Are they nice to people they DON'T have any potential sexual interest in? When you have opportunity to see this can vary.
No, they are not unattractive at all. I'm not into the whole "alpha" thing, though, so make of that what you will.

exit_sandman · 2019-06-16T10:55:54+00:00

Super easy to tell when a guy is nice guy (TM) , but not always easy to tell if he is a genuinely nice guy.

Usually in my experience it’s something like this:

Nice Guy (TM): waits until last day of class to reach out to you and ask for your number (despite not speaking to you for the entire semester)

Actual nice guy: either doesn’t ask for your number or only does so after having spent some time talking to you during the semester and found some common interests / compatibilities.

Genuinely nice guys are extremely attractive to me, but they’re actually respectful. I have met nice guys that were very masculine, but a lot of the time they were noticeably less dominant than the other men around.. but honestly it made them more attractive to me because I don’t need a guy that is super concerned with status. Nice guys are often times a lot more down to earth

my-little-wonton · 2019-06-16T11:00:21+00:00

Yes, the distinction is that Nice isn't actually just a personality trait, but common courtesy. You'll know the difference because the Nice Guy TM will act like it's a trait and make a big hoohah about it

sadomasochrist · 2019-06-16T12:48:37+00:00

Nurturing features are negatively correlated in studies of arousal. Narcissism, arrogance and cues to dominance are positively.

Women value these traits for comfort but it is unattractive.

Workshop_Gremlin · 2019-06-16T13:06:25+00:00

Yes, The difference between the 2 is a sense of personal principle.

Genuinely nice people don't do it out of a sense of reward or recognition they do it because they believe that what they are doing is the right thing to do. Their personal value system tells them that it is something that they should do to make the world a bit better.

"Nice" people are nice to get something out of it. They do what they do because there's the expectation of some form or recognition or reward at the end for doing what they did.

kandyapplez · 2019-06-16T20:38:54+00:00

uh, most people are nice? its not a defining characteristic and definitely doesn't stand out in any way. the vast majority of men i meet and interact could be described as "genuinely nice"

especially men i date, who generally like me and by extension treat me nicely??

AtomicFocs · 2019-06-16T10:04:15+00:00

It does
'nice guys' seem off from the start, way too nice (to the point of a doormat) which makes you feel like you owe them something for it. If you just met/went on a date and act like you can give me the world I have a right to think you do that with every other girl, which makes me feel like 'another one' and the smallest no's are taken like insults lol. Genuine nice guys are just nice, polite, but still have some dignity.
Being nice is not unattractive. Who comes up with that? xD

J_Milton_Jr · 2019-06-16T13:59:53+00:00

No, I can only speak for myself but I have learned that I can't find men attractive, who are too nice and too accommodating, especially not over a long periode of time. I ended my last two relationships because the men very obviously more invested in the relationship, treated me like a princess and gave me 100% of their attention.

If a man dedicates too much time to me, tries too hard to woo me, to help me and to please me, it creates a sense of rejection and disinterest.

Instead of wasting energy working against these mental processes , I found it easier to find a partner for whom I am not the center of the world, who has his own interests and his own life and who does not give me the feeling that he could not live without me.

A "nice guy" wouldn't be attractive to me, whether he's nice by nature or nice because he's pursueing a goal.

Homebrand_Exercise · 2019-06-16T12:21:03+00:00

yes there is a noticeable difference between a genuine nice guy and nice guy (tm)
One way to tell is to observe how the guy treats those around him, especially in situations where there may be someone providing service or assistance such as a waiter in a restaurant. There are the obvious red flags of a nice guy (tm) which include them ranting about how girls only go for bad boys or that they make it obvious that they think that they are owed something for being nice. Language could be another thing, for example a guy who constantly calls and refers to women as "females"could possibly be another sign. But the main sign would be as I mentioned watching how they treat others.
Genuine nice guys are attractive and genuine niceness should have no negative impacts on masculinity. Niceness becomes unattractive when people confuse niceness with being spineless and unassertive and being unwilling to have an opinion on things while agreeing with everything a person says.

HottentotGenius · 2019-06-16T13:25:49+00:00

Not a woman but I'll say from my experience that a good amount of women will appreciate a genuinely nice guy... Unless you're being nice to other women while in a relationship with her. A lot of women will NOT be happy about that

i_have_a_semicolon · 2019-06-16T14:55:49+00:00

Yes, easy, NO

FlavFal · 2019-06-16T15:13:27+00:00

I love good boys.

planejane · 2019-06-16T16:20:48+00:00

1) Yes.

2) Within a few weeks.

3) Genuinely nice guys are excellent when that kindness is presented as humble generosity. They give because they have patriarchal tendencies or selflessness. Kindness isn't be ENOUGH to carry a guy's attractiveness on his own, but at least in my book it definitely raises it a notch or two.

SilentKnight3089 · 2019-06-16T16:43:26+00:00

Well people have a misconception about “nice.” Just because you don’t go over the top and constantly broadcast how nice you are doesn’t mean you’re not genuinely nice.

The archetypal “nice guy” is the one that goes over the top and lets girls walk all over him, essentially demeaning himself to stay in the woman’s good graces. It’s usually phony, and if they don’t get sex in return, they throw a fit.

Being a genuinely nice guy just means that you’re neutral, considerate and selfless but also don’t take any shit from anyone and don’t demean yourself for validation like a little heel-licking cuck.

NewMindRedPill · 2019-06-16T17:15:17+00:00

A true nice guy will still have a backbone and stand up for themselves.

They will also not automatically jump to serving other people but will be helpful when the time calls for it.

Nice Guy TM will ask what everyone needs out of the blue and give give give and then will suddenly sulk in the corner for the smallest perceived injustice.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-06-16T21:44:19+00:00

There is a definite distinction. If you tell him you aren’t interested in sex, just for now or even for ever, and he isn’t phased by that, he’s a good guy. If he acts like a little bitch, he’s a Nice Guy (TM).

LillthOfBabylon · 2019-06-17T12:28:41+00:00

How easy is it for women to tell whether the guy they’re dating is genuinely nice or a Nice Guy (TM)?

See how he treats people he can't/won't have sex with.

Are genuinely nice guys unattractive sexually?

Nice is NOT a personality.

Can they still be viewed as masculine or “alpha”?

If your only description is NICE, no.

azngirl7689 · 2019-06-17T12:38:19+00:00

Yea.

How to tell them? Ask to reschedule or don’t say yes to something small. His reaction will tell you everything you need to know. Genuinely nice will take it on the chin. Nice guys will flip out.

TheMedsPeds · 2019-06-17T16:24:25+00:00

1.) Obviously 2.) Time, people reveal their true characteristics over time. You can't keep up the act forever. 3) Some are, some art. Depends on what they look like.

NewVerses · 2019-06-17T21:10:21+00:00

1) Fuck yes.

2) Some women do, some don't. It's more nuanced than that though. There are some telltale signs of a Nice Guy(TM) but it's not always obvious at a glance.

3) Genuinely good guys come in all forms and shapes and it has very little to do with looks.

octopusplatipus · 2019-06-18T05:19:55+00:00

1) If you are a genuinely a nice guy, you're a good guy. A Nice Guy ^tm is more of a sarcastic term.

2) There pretty easy to figure out even if you're not dating them. Just look at how they treat people when they stand to gain nothing.

3) No I don't think so. I know one guy who was getting tail left and right simply because he was legitimately sweet and thoughtful. Yes you can be masculine and still be a good guy. In fact being a good man is being masculine.

P.s) alpha is just something the douhce bags conjured up to cover their sort comings

Female_urinary_maze · 2019-06-18T09:03:45+00:00

There's an enormous destinction, and you can tell from a lot of ways. A great clue is that when you say "no" about anything a Nice Guy (TM) will be a huge dick about it. Either way the Nice Guy (TM) can't keep up the charade indefinitely, because he's not really a nice guy.

People on here often use "alpha" and "masculine" to describe shitty personalities, but if you're asking wether genuinely nice guys are hot that'll be a huge yes from me. It's not just attractive, it's a requirement. You can't be a friend with benefits or a boyfriend if you wouldn't even measure up as a regular friend.

CREEPYFUCKBOI · 2019-06-18T13:59:42+00:00

i have absolutely no clue to any of the questions but this:

>3) Are genuinely nice guys unattractive sexually? Can they still be viewed as masculine or “alpha”?

yea im pretty sure there comes a point where kindness is way more alpha than violence. for example jesus is alpha and elliot rodgers isn't.

Triadfamilyties · 2019-06-18T22:25:00+00:00

1) absolutely

2) the difference between a Nice Guy and just a nice person is the nice person leads with kindness and mindfulness and the Nice Guy throws performative things attempting to build an exploitable store of good will. Girls who've never been exploited often can't tell. Girls who have seen it before often can.

3) Genuinely nice people tend to be more sexually successful than not absent serious issues preventing them from relating to others. Yes they can still be dominant personalities and such.

pnadlerlaw · 2019-06-25T02:35:47+00:00

“We are who we pretend to be, so we must be careful about who we pretend to be.” Kurt Vonnegut.

“If you care what others think about you, you will forever be their prisoner.” Eleanor Roosevelt.

“Being” a “nice guy” means becoming prisoner to people liking you. So before pretending to be a nice guy, make sure you fully understand what you’re getting yourself into.

Nice guys are so frustrated by getting fucked by life, they are actually very angry people. Same thing with “nice” conservative or liberal women. You know, the kind who are always trying to save precious babies or trying to include plants that identify as humans into the LGBTQ community. So filled with anger and hate.

That’s what happens when you live your life with a cork in your asshole and pretend to never take a shit or fart. It’s only a matter of time until everyone finds out how full of shit you are.

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SqueaksScreech · 2019-06-16T19:38:34+00:00

Nice guys bitch about their love life and whine how they aren't getting sex. They bitch about Stacey wesring makeup, then give you ahit for wearing makeup, they pretty much stalk you and treat others like shit because they don't want to fuck them. If they ever had a gf they call them crazy bitches. Then they lose their shit when you don't like them and claim you friend zone them. Like bruh no one holding a gun at your head and forcing to stay in the friendship.

ThisIsJustATr1bute · 2019-06-16T20:21:42+00:00

One is a dishonest, sycophantic ass-kissing suck up who will turn on a dime when you don’t play by his covert rules. The other is a genuine, authentic, magnanimous person who is good company.

neualgae · 2019-06-16T11:08:20+00:00

Does a distinction between the two exist?

yes, obviously. "Nice guy" refers to a guy who pretends to be nice for sex, particularly the fact that he abruptly turns into an asshole the second he gets turned down.

How easy is it for women to tell whether the guy they’re dating is genuinely nice or a Nice Guy (TM)?

By seeing how he treats other people that he doesn't want anything from. The "look at how he treats the waiter" rule is a thing for a reason.

Are genuinely nice guys unattractive sexually? Can they still be viewed as masculine or “alpha”?

Nice guys are attractive. Idk what's with this idea that the opposite of "nice" is "masculine". The opposite of nice is "mean" and mean guys are not attractive.

"Niceness" is only unattractive when people are using it to mean "doormat" and not "kind".

-TheGreasyPole- · 2019-06-16T16:53:48+00:00

Nice guys (tm) and legit nice guys are often the same. Everything is about sex, just different strategies. And no, being a Nice guy (tm) doesn’t make you a bad person either

Title	Genuinely nice guy versus Nice Guy (TM)
Author	u443
Upvotes	19
Comments	136
Date	June 16, 2019 9:26 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/c1851u/genuinely_nice_guy_versus_nice_guy_tm/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/genuinely-nice-guy-versus-nice-guy-tm.255267 https://theredarchive.com/post/255267

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