CMV: "Intimate" dancing with other people while in a relationship is cheating

ThickPass · 2019-05-19T18:06:10+00:00

I think what constitutes as cheating should be established by every couple because I’m sure some people wouldn’t have a problem with it. I wouldn’t be okay with intimately dancing with someone while in a relationship... nor would I be okay with my partner being okay with me doing so.

Taipanshimshon · 2019-05-19T18:28:23+00:00

If she knows enough to make excuses - that speaks for itself

geyges · 2019-05-19T17:52:56+00:00

There's 3 levels to this:

Someone doing something to you (Not cheating as long as you try to avoid it)
Letting something happen. (Depends on what it is, fingering is different from a hug)
Enthusiastically participating (Grinding on a guy for sexual pleasure is definitely cheating).

For me, generally speaking, as long as there's no explicit sex involved, I'd be sympathetic to a single moment of weakness.

I also would recommend to ladies to not ask stupid fucking questions like this, because OF COURSE guys will be upset.

doctor_awful · 2019-05-20T00:24:45+00:00

As someone in a Latino country, you people are delusional if you think grinding on strangers whole on a relationship is acceptable.

Barely-moral · 2019-05-19T18:09:21+00:00

Most people would consider that cheating. But cheating does not have a standard definition. Cheating is breaking the rules of the relationship.

Every relationship has it's own rules and every couple will draw the line at a different point.

I am sure in most monogamous relationships there would be a case in favour of intimate dancing being considered cheating, but that is not a rule that applies to everyone.

Instead of assuming what your partner considers cheating it would be good to actually talk about it before dating or in the early stages.

_anothergumnut_ · 2019-05-19T23:10:30+00:00

In my relationship dancing with another man bar a chaste waltz at a wedding or something would absolutely constitute cheating. But I also wouldn't put myself in a long distance relationship full stop. If I want to dance, I drag my husband out and dance with him.

philomexa · 2019-05-19T19:47:02+00:00

Lol reddit nerds.

I went salsa dancing last night, before I left my husband told me to have a good time. I danced with three men and turned down several more.

So I cheated on husband? Right now we're on the couch playing footsie while our toddler runs around babbling about dinosaurs.

There's an entire world of people who enjoy social and partnered dancing, yet none of them consider these relationship ending activities. Its just...a thing people do to have fun on a weekend night.

Young_Oryx · 2019-05-20T02:14:52+00:00

I think people in relationships should draw boundaries wherever works for them. If one or both people are bothered by intimate dancing, by all means outlaw it within the relationship. Some people might not be bothered by it, in which case it would not make sense for them to consider it "cheating".

Side note:

that feels good while drunk in a dark place with loud music

Good god, why does anyone think this sounds like a good time? Sounds awful.

ScootsScoots · 2019-05-20T12:12:36+00:00

It's not cheating but it sure as hell isnt ok because it's a prelude to cheating. Dump em anyway

Luke-the-camera-guy · 2019-05-20T11:04:31+00:00

Even the girl knows it's not right, since the girl asks the guy if it bothers him.

She asked because he has past experience with being cheated on, not because she views it as wrong herself but because she's worried how a guy with negative experiences might view this.

By that logic women can almost never cheat because they are almost never the pursuer?

You seem to be thinking about this more than is needed. Also what is defined as "cheating" is unique to each relationship, there are 100% cultures that aren't yours that are ok with dancing like this and not assuming your partner will leave you if they get the chance. The bigger is that couples/individuals who enter a relationship don't really talk about whether they find X act to be a form of cheating to them, like people who feel jealous when their SO watches porn and those who don't, this shit is never talked until things get real.

flamingoinghome · 2019-05-19T18:55:07+00:00

I don't think the guy was wrong for giving his honest opinion when asked, but the idea of dancing with someone is a form of cheating is nonsensical to me.

For context: I don't go clubbing; I've been to a club about four times and hated every minute. I DO belong to a friend group where many, many people are into social dance. Argentine tango, blues dancing, etc., are all very intimate, and yet the idea of considering a guy I'm dating dancing with another woman "cheating" is simply absurd.

FinchRosemta · 2019-05-19T18:01:29+00:00

This sounds like a bunch of white people freaking out. Have you guys never been to the Caribbean or Latin America? Dancing like this is the name of the game. No cheating intended.

decoy88 · 2019-05-19T18:03:21+00:00

Not sure on this one. I've gone back n forth.

Spoken about this at length with women and generally I feel that 'dancing' closely with someone in the midst of music fun is allowable. It won't exactly turn into his dick in her mouth unless she wills it there.

Other cultures frequently engage what some stiff no rhythm white people call "sexual" and gasp.

Are you really breaking up with a girl if you found out she danced with a stranger and nothing else?

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Barneysparky · 2019-05-19T19:16:20+00:00

I think if you meet a girl from Columbia who dances she is going to dance. Culture plays every role in this.

kandyapplez · 2019-05-19T19:56:06+00:00

in my relationship this would not be cheating. i dance on my guy friends, he dances on his girl friends, its really just not a big deal. were big into going out dancing though and sometimes a bit of grinding just flows with the dance/song, its not a vehicle for sexual release lol

wotsittoyou · 2019-05-19T20:16:17+00:00

Dancing is one of those things that needs to be worked out between the couple, it is just too culturally complex to make hard and fast rules about.

Murdocs_Mistress · 2019-05-19T21:29:15+00:00

Dancing with someone else isn't cheating.

Watching porn isn't cheating.

No, no partner has a right to to say you have to ditch friends you've had for years simply due to their gender.

Any partner tries to put this kind of criteria into the relationship, dump their insecure possessive asses

passepar2t · 2019-05-20T02:02:30+00:00

If you're going to have an LDR, I'm going to go ahead and say that you were asking for it. I say this as a guy who's had multiple LDRs.

Gravel_Roads · 2019-05-20T09:50:24+00:00

I did ballroom/swing/line dancing for many years. I even started a swing club at my high school to increase the number of people my own age that even could dance, back when I was a teenager. When you do a "couples" dance, you just kinda inherently are going to have to touch the other person -- the more complicated the dance move, the more you generally end up touching.

Some types of dancing are more free-style, and in free style non-ballroom type of dancing, touching is even more important because it's part of how you telegraph where your body parts are to share the rhythm and not step on each other's feet, the "lead" needs to know what parts of his partner he can grab and pull and push on, and the "follow" has to make sure to keep these parts of her body clear so he can direct her accordingly.

If you are the sort of person to feel jealous at the thought of another person touching your partner intimately, you'll probably be just as jealous about them waltzing as you would be about them grinding/street dancing. If you're a dancer yourself, you probably have touched a lot of people yourself, in the course of learning (it requires hundreds and hundreds of hours to really get good), so you are far less likely to associate that sort of touching with cheating.

I'm with the other people here, however, that say each couple should probably define this for themselves. Some people just dont' like to "share", and as long as both members of the couple are fine with only dancing together, I don't like... think it's unhealthy.

TopOccasion29 · 2019-05-20T19:43:03+00:00

Of course it's disrespectful and it's cheating but the cuck loving crew of men in this sub will probably defend it and the women who love to cuck their husbands and boyfriends on this sub will say nothing is wrong with it and shame any man who objects to it lol.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-05-19T18:47:20+00:00

Lol at Cheating on your imaginary relationship

blackedoutfast · 2019-05-19T21:49:20+00:00

wat?

have you people ever even been to a real dance club?

yes if your girl walks onto the dance floor then she is going to have rando dudes grinding on her and groping her tits and ass all that. if she's cool there's a good chance that she will end up in the middle of some weird MFMFFMFF makeout sesh in the middle of the dance floor. if you're lucky, she isn't snorting blow off of some dude's dick in a bathroom stall.

dance clubs are awesome. LDRs are cucky as fuck.

Title	CMV: "Intimate" dancing with other people while in a relationship is cheating
Author	Lordb0lton
Upvotes	70
Comments	156
Date	May 19, 2019 5:37 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/bqjmwl/cmv_intimate_dancing_with_other_people_while_in_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-intimate-dancing-with-other-people-while-in-a.255694 https://theredarchive.com/post/255694

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