CMV: Single moms are totally incompetent at raising children alone; and they're even worse at raising boys.

Electra_Cute · 2017-05-05T17:54:59+00:00

This is true, there is overwhelming statistics that single parents households raise children that are more likely to commit crimes, have mental illnesses and perform poorly in school.

too many single moms raising boys alone after kicking their fathers out of their lives

Every single mother I have ever encountered, the story is usually the same. The father does not want to be around. Most single women would like to have the father in the the lives of their children. Men are the ones leaving their children. Men on Purple Pill Debate really enjoy putting men as a collective on a pedestal.

Electra_Cute · 2017-05-05T17:51:32+00:00

single moms are usually accused of raising hypermasculine criminal thugs... now they're also in the hook for your feminine personality? did you not have friends growing up?

TheBlackQuill · 2017-05-05T18:01:22+00:00

I am sorry to hear that. How are you doing right now?

I think single mom is generally bad because they tend to earn less and can't support their own children for a brighter future. On top of that, lacking a father figure may prove to be detrimental to the child's development. But then again, this is kind of dependent on why the single mom is single though. Widow is different than those who gives birth out of wedlock/divorcee. Single mom may have a chance to become a good mother if she can provide for the child and take care of the child. Apart from financial and lack of father figure, single mom can be a bad parent if they choose to lash out their hatred against the father to the child. I think that greatly damages the child's (esp boy's) self esteem.

Shazoa · 2017-05-05T18:45:22+00:00

I was raised by a single mom, and I feel that it fucked me up. I'm incredibly feminine, and it's a huge turn off to women.

There's no reason to think this is the case for most people raised by a single mother. How do you know that's not just how you are?

Personally, I was raised by a single mother and it was good for me. I'm doing fine and, honestly, not having my father in the picture saved me from a lot of trouble (he's been in and out of prison most of my life - my mom left him as soon as he started down that path).

UhKhat · 2017-05-05T18:45:04+00:00

i'm sorry you feel you've been messed up by your mom. I've been messed up by my parents a lot, even though on paper they looked great. Being angry doesn't get you anywhere though - and deciding to believe misogynist BS like "single moms are totally incompetent at raising children alone" is only going to harm you more. Why is it always the mom's fault for being a single mom? How about if the dad died? How about if he up and left her for a higher 'value' woman? How about if he didn't want kids? Maybe there are plenty of women who choose to be single moms, but most i've known/know of don't.

Ultimately, you have to take responsibility and kick your past to the curb. Yes, it shapes a lot of your behaviour, but you can change that behaviour if you think it's so damaging. Take the good aspects of TRP that encourage you to develop more masculine traits, maybe it will help, but please don't swallow the misogyny pill, it won't help you.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2017-05-05T18:01:30+00:00

Then why do women raised by single fathers not end up being hyper-masculine? Or are women so useless that they suck at the one thing they are programmed to do?

[deleted] · 2017-05-05T18:59:25+00:00

This sort of thing is massively confounded by genetics. Single mothers are usually single for a reason - their husbands suck, they suck, or they both just plain suck as people. Then their children get the shitty genes from one or both parents, and surprise, grow up into dysfunctional people.

But sure, lets blame feminism, because clearly mothers don't want whats best for their sons and are purposefully trying to trick them into being bad with women. Makes perfect sense.

WeCaredALot · 2017-05-05T20:22:08+00:00

I disagree with half of your statement. I do think boys need strong male role models in their lives. However, single parenthood is not inherently negative, especially if the parent is financially stable. The biggest issue most single mothers have is that they're poor! And with poverty comes unstable neighborhoods, long working hours away from your kid, poor financial literacy, etc. All these things compound on each other to make life even more difficult than it needs to be.

Obviously, it's not likely that single mothers will be financially well-off unless they're successful businesswomen or heiresses, but in some parts of the world, there are women with stable finances who choose single parenthood. I recently read an article about Danish women doing this. This is probably an easier choice in Scandinavian countries that have bigger social safety nets, but I wouldn't discount single parenthood by fiat, especially if the person is independently wealthy or has a strong, stable family and/or social network.

Kalabrese · 2017-05-06T01:09:55+00:00

At least the single mom is trying, it's better than the father who doesn't want to have anything with their child. My family has a family friend who was a for the most part, single mom who raised 4 children and with the exception of the first kid who prefer his father over her for the most part, the other kids are fine. Up until she found a guy to call her own and who she's been with for years now, she did a good job with the kids she had.Helped them, encouraged them to do an extracurricular activity (in this case, they chose football, her youngest child who's a girl is still in school).

So sure, sometimes the children of a single mother can be in questionable positions but there are some who do a fine enough job and work as hard as they can to ensure a good future for their child. I have much more respect for a parent who tries to be there and raise their kid than a parent who up and abandons them.

despisedlove2 · 2017-05-06T01:39:28+00:00

They did a study not dependent on people's self reporting, and found that boys growing up without a father were significantly more likely to be criminals, on death row, etc.

I think you have two extremes here - a) boys who are neutered by their mothers into being unsuccessful in dating, b) boys who are so unruly that the mother can't exert effective discipline, or those that join gangs because they are thirsting for some male role model in their life.

And yet, feminist mothers keep regurgitating the "better that he grow up with one loving parent than watch his parents be miserable". If you think about it, that is an incredibly selfish and solipsistic statement.

I think that women genuinely love their children but their obsession with hypergamy means that they regularly try to impose what they like, over what their sons need. From a son's viewpoint, she ends up being no better than a misandrist female.

Of course there are exceptions, but boys raised without fathers end up fairly messed up in lasting ways.

rulenumber303 · 2017-05-06T02:32:08+00:00

I was raised by a single mom, and I feel that it fucked me up.

Always easier to blame the one who stuck round and took a little responsibility.

I'm incredibly feminine, and it's a huge turn-off to women.

Guys with a lot of feminine qualities can get women, so long as those guys are high quality. Quality always sells. Be high quality.

Many women have asked me if I'm gay.

So have you worked out how to turn this into a plus?

Women auto-reject me/friendzone me all the time.

Normal. Even famous handsome rich guys who are incredibly successful with women are only going to have maybe 10% of the women in a crowded room at a party show real interest in fucking them. Most women, most of the time, aren't up for sex with a new partner.

I'm sexually invisible,

If you're being friendzoned in the way TRP usually refers to it (she is deliberately using your sexual interest to make you into a very accommodating friend) you are visible.

I think it's because my dad wasn't there raising and forming me up into a man.

Maybe hunt him down and have it out with him? You might discover you are grateful he wasn't around.

trail22 · 2017-05-05T19:05:13+00:00

How do you feel about a lesbian couple raising a kid. I always wondered if what makes a person a good parent is partly there gender. Part of what makes a man a good father/mother is because they are a man/women.

Blabberm0uth · 2017-05-05T20:51:57+00:00

A) autism, as least as we know it, appears to be almost entirely genetic as predetermined before your birth.

B) Being feminine as a guy is quite often also determined before birth, by in-utero testosterone levels. Read up on the 2d:4d ratio and the fraternal 18th order effect.

So you may still blame your mum, but not for being single...

wuboo · 2017-05-05T22:00:21+00:00

I think the problem with single moms, is mostly a single parent problem. Depending on the family and job situation, the single parent may not have the support structure or the time (if she is working) or the resources to raise a kid well.

Princeso_Bubblegum · 2017-05-05T22:43:56+00:00

I'm incredibly feminine,

Tell me more about your femboyness ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

buttlollipop · 2017-05-05T23:31:30+00:00

I don't doubt that single parents in general are worse than having two parents, but considering single mothers are more likely to raise criminals, I doubt all men of single mothers are "feminized." Unless you want to say drug dealers and robbers are feminine. Being raised by a woman doesn't ipso facto make you feminine, but not having two parents does cause other issues.

PieceBringer · 2017-05-06T02:24:05+00:00

I mean I agree with you in the sense they don't know how but I don't think that's malicious. I was raised by a singe mother and she's the best person in I can think of, he never bad talk my dad even tho he didn't give no shits, etc.

AutoModerator · 2017-05-05T17:48:40+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

fetchyminx · 2017-05-05T19:16:17+00:00

Use protection kids

goatismycopilot · 2017-05-05T19:52:45+00:00

Funny how tone is so important in these things

[deleted] · 2017-05-06T13:19:06+00:00

Can absolutely confirm. Although not my necessarily the women's fault, the lack of a father figure may not be noticeable in the early years, but after you get thrown into the wild world, you start to notice everyone else had a headstart and you lost valuable lessons that could've changed you for the better if you had learned them at a young age.

It's terrible really.

OurThrownAwayDreams · 2017-05-05T22:25:54+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JA5iEKvHNxk

fatherhood is what helps children aim. motherhood is what ensures children grow.

having a good father is important because he helps his child set their moral compass with his own experiences. i once saw a comic that i regret not saving. it's the picture of a father tearing bits and pieces of himself out in the shape of a puzzle block and giving it to his son who's trying to fill himself up as a person. that's what fathers do for their children.

once the father helps setting the aim, the child grows, nature takes over with the help of the mother to help nurture the child, to tend to the child, to comfort the child.

when the child is missing a father, the child is going to be aimless. sure, everyone grows, that's just nature doing its job. but not everyone will grow into a good person, a person that contributes to society, a person with a moral compass, a person who understands how the world works. i believe this is why many single mother raise their children broken and single fathers raise their children deprived. unless they have very very influential fatherly figures as mentor growing up, or by luck that they befriend good kids who inherit good values from their parents. it's going to be very tough to try to guide those kids down a good path.

Title	CMV: Single moms are totally incompetent at raising children alone; and they're even worse at raising boys.
Author	HopefulAboutADHD
Upvotes	26
Comments	231
Date	May 5, 2017 5:48 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/69g8al/cmv_single_moms_are_totally_incompetent_at/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-single-moms-are-totally-incompetent-at-raising.268342 https://theredarchive.com/post/268342

Comments