Apparently, It's Never the Man's Fault

FairlyNaive · 2017-03-23T06:24:05+00:00

We are biologically programmed to desire a lot of carbs as well, but not all people are overweight.

damaskrose · 2017-03-23T05:27:06+00:00

I think it's a dangerous line of thinking - for men. "Women can't control themselves" is basically the rationale behind controlling and oppressing them for thousands of years. If women can't control themselves, clearly they need a man to do it for them.

If men can't control their actions, maybe they're the ones who should be prevented from working, driving, or really even leaving the house without a female chaperone and a burka?

At the least, you can't say stuff like that and then be surprised when your girlfriend wants to go through your phone, or begrudges you a guy's night. Of course she's not gonna fucking trust you if you convince her you're "biologically programmed" to cheat.

Unabummer80 · 2017-03-23T06:46:01+00:00

According to some users, the man should never be blamed when involved in an affair, since he is merely following his "biological programming to ensure our species' survival" and because women are the gatekeepers to sex.

This was when the woman is cheating no? If the woman is cheating then she needs to shoulder the blame. If it's the man cheating then he needs to.

NalkaNalka · 2017-03-23T13:42:03+00:00

It's really simple. If you don't want to give up your polygamous imperative then don't promise monogamy. If you nature is to fuck anything that moves and you don't want to control it, then go do that. Don't make promises you can't or wont keep.

future_space_boobs · 2017-03-23T09:17:29+00:00

Women are the ones that choose. This doesn't absolve men, but you can't "accidentally" fuck someone.

the_calibre_cat · 2017-03-23T13:20:27+00:00

Men certainly are biologically programmed to fuck as many women as possible. That doesn't mean they should be absolved of blame when caught cheating.

wub1234 · 2017-03-23T14:07:21+00:00

According to some users, the man should never be blamed when involved in an affair, since he is merely following his "biological programming to ensure our species' survival" and because women are the gatekeepers to sex. According to them, men are the chasers but women are ultimately the ones that choose.

This is what this statement effectively means:

Men's reproductive systems create sperm, this makes us want sex, and therefore we have no agency over our decision-making process whatsoever. We are literally ruled by our balls and have absolutely no say in our own behaviour.

midnightvulpine · 2017-03-23T10:13:09+00:00

To me, the entirety of the biological imperative nature of TRP is a push to abdicate responsibility for how one acts. If everyone is just acting out their instincts, there is less need to feel guilt for doing things that are considered unsavory. Such as cheating. Disconnecting from morality and leaning towards 'nature' which is seen as amoral and blameless.

It's dangerous for people to internalize those excuses.

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goatismycopilot · 2017-03-23T10:31:18+00:00

It does not really matter in cheating/affairs who the chaser or the gatekeeper is, either one takes the stance it is amoral, simply a strategy or that cheating is shitty and both parties are accountable. Men here will also say that when men have affairs it is no big deal because they were just either following their programming to sleep with a desirable woman or they were forced into it by a sexless marriage. However if a married woman cheats it is horrific, worse than ten holocausts, ruins the family and is evidence of moral decay. Married men cheating is just fine and everybody should just stop the finger waving and make some sandwiches.

despisedlove2 · 2017-03-23T12:42:47+00:00

Women hide their affairs better. That is all.

wtknight · 2017-03-23T13:03:05+00:00

It's both parties' fault, unless one person is not aware of the other person's prior commitment. At one time I had a chance to have sex with a woman was coming on to me but who I knew was already in a relationship. I didn't do it, because I knew if I were her boyfriend, I wouldn't want some other man having sex with my girlfriend. It's basic human decency. Treat other people like you would want to be treated.

5th_Law_of_Robotics · 2017-03-23T13:15:42+00:00

Really?

I usually see the opposite.

Men cheat because men are dogs. Women cheat because he was inadequate in some way.

Men abuse because they're violent/privileged. Women are only violent in self defense.

Men harm kids because they're monsters. Women do it because they're mentally ill and likely abused by their spouse.

Etc etc etc.

LewisCross · 2017-03-23T13:38:43+00:00

Affairs don't happen unless the woman decides it does.

crankypants15 · 2017-03-23T09:36:00+00:00

the man should never be blamed when involved in an affair,

Wut? The man should take responsibility for his actions. If he doesn't, he's just a boy. The same applies to women. If men are unhappy with their gf, they should take responsibility for their poor choice. And when I did, things got much better.

I'm a direct kind of person, and boys that do this make all men look bad, and that affects me as a man.

According to them, men are the chasers but women are ultimately the ones that choose.

But only if men choose to play that game. I don't.

Eastuss · 2017-03-23T13:07:54+00:00

Or see it this way: since hypergamy is considered normal and morally acceptable by society (because women decided it was), then polygamy should be considered normal and morally acceptable by society, but it won't, because women decide what moral is.

tallwheel · 2017-03-23T08:20:09+00:00

Hmm. Well, the justification I've seen some guys on TRP try to use for guys cheating is "She would've done the same to you." I don't agree with that line of thinking, just sayin' that's what I seen.

648262 · 2017-03-23T09:01:32+00:00

It's never the women's fault. I know that sounds sarcastic, but it really isn't.

fetchyminx · 2017-03-23T07:12:05+00:00

Joys of expecting a healthy monogamous relationship

5th_Law_of_Robotics · 2017-03-23T13:15:39+00:00

Really?

I usually see the opposite.

Men cheat because men are dogs. Women cheat because he was inadequate in some way.

Men abuse because they're violent/privileged. Women are only violent in self defense.

Men harm kids because they're monsters. Women do it because they're mentally ill and likely abused by their spouse.

Etc etc etc.

dj10show · 2017-03-23T15:28:35+00:00

Based on what I've read, isn't it always the man's fault, regardless of who cheats? Obviously if the man cheats himself, then it's his fault for not holding himself to the promise of monogamy that he made. But if the woman steps out, it's because he didn't satisfy her, was bad in bed, didn't have her coffee ready at 5:07 am, etc. If the man is leading the relationship, doesn't he also bear the fault for when it tanks?

stonepimpletilists · 2017-03-23T19:10:11+00:00

Your fault, my responsibility

Keep using the white belts to talk about karate, you end up with posts like this.

Subway_Bernie_Goetz · 2017-03-23T20:00:21+00:00

According to some users, the man should never be blamed when involved in an affair

I've rarely heard this argument. You're probably beating up a straw man here.

The argument that I have heard is that male and female infidelity are both wrong but there are important differences.

Sexual fidelity and loyalty is not as high of a priority for women as it is for men. It's not uncommon to rich men to openly have mistresses in some countries and their wives tolerate it as long as it just sex. But when a woman cheats, it's over.

Rufus_Reddit · 2017-03-23T20:53:04+00:00

It comes down to how people think about the relationship.

If you think that the economics of the relationship are typically based on an exchange of reproductive exclusivity from the woman for material support from the man, that's going to color your perspective one way. If you think that relationships are about 'sharing your lives together' (whatever that means) that's going to lead to a different kind of thinking.

Of course relationships aren't all the same, but if the relationship is asymmetric in the right way then it can totally make sense to have different expectations about 'side action' for each of the partners.

FWIW different standards for men and women 'stepping out' are hardly novel. In a historical context, our society is abnormally egalitarian.

Randommorningkiller · 2017-03-25T00:32:30+00:00

It's not a fault. Men shouldn't be monogamous in the first place.

WO-MAN1983 · 2017-03-29T13:34:31+00:00

Anything with mono in front of it is unnatural to our species. Monogamy and monosexuality are just man made inventions. Y'all are brainwashed to think that this is our natural state. It's not. Most females don't mate with one male for life. It's better for our genetic make up to multiple with many different men and women. Most males in nature don't even get the chance to procreate. That's why monogamy was invented, so that every male gets a chance to pair up with a female. It's a fucking conspiracy guys.

;)

Temperfuelmma · 2017-03-23T08:27:08+00:00

1) Women are the gatekeepers of sex.

2) You can't enter without a woman opening the gates for you.

3) No cheating would take place if a woman didn't open the gates for you.

4) Cheating is exclusively a woman's fault.

Title	Apparently, It's Never the Man's Fault
Author	CrazyTom54
Upvotes	6
Comments	113
Date	March 23, 2017 4:53 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/60zx06/apparently_its_never_the_mans_fault/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/apparently-its-never-the-mans-fault.269328 https://theredarchive.com/post/269328

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