I always see these complaints like: "Waaaah waaaaahhhh I can't speak to girls IRL because they will throw holy water on me and call me creepy! And even if I did try to chat up girls I'd be a dancing monkey! The ONLY socially acceptable way to get girls in current year is on TINDER! An app RUINED dating and my dick is dry because of the iPhone!"

I come beholden to you my fair subjects some words of knowledge.

I was once like you, unable to socialise without the help of the internet.

But as I got out there more and made more friends, it became second nature.

And hear this, for it is true: if you can chat to other guys you can flirt with girls too.

It's very simple, there is no real trick to it. If you chat to your friends you joke and laugh and make them happy in your presence, if you're fun to have around they want you around more, it is as simple as that.

With girls the formula is just the same. I found if I talked to girls the same way - making them smile and laugh, making them see I'm fun to be around, then they want me in their lives.

And do I really need to say it? Addressing the incels I know I must: yes, you have to be a minimum level of attractiveness. But your competition is weak and simply not being fat is often plenty if you have this charisma.

Understand I was able to do this constantly even when I was working for a supermarket. I was literally behind the till with my uniform and name tag on - how low status I was.

And yet when a cute girl came in and I had to check her ID, all I did was spark up conversation by making some remark or joke about her name and I was in. I once met a girl whose last name was Cobain, I just asked "any relation?" and we had a chat, the supervisor watching me grinning and shaking his head. As we kept talking and she was about to leave, if she was smiling and laughing I would ask for her IG. Sometimes she'd say no and I shrugged it off because rejection is part of life you see.

Many times they'd say yes and I'd be sliding into the DM's when I got off my shift. I changed into my normal clothes and hopped onto the bus for a lift. This worked especially well on Friday nights when they were all buying booze as they headed to their parties. After I clocked out I headed out to join. Alas, it is really that easy.

I know the replies will be full of rage and fury: "Stop bragging you make believe Chad! We know you're lying, or if you're not you must be a male model! Or you were born with social skills we cannot borrow!"

And yet when I was young my social skills were so bad I might as well have been autistic - do you think I hang around PPD because I'm an ultra Chad? Be realistic.

I'm no Chad in fact I think I'm quite average, but I'm not fat and have learned social skills and have a decent sense of humour, and this is enough to get most girls into ya.

Understand this shit is way too simple, I'll say it once again: if you can chat to other men you can chat up the ladies, don't put your head in the sand and be crybabies.

I shall end this one on a philosophical note, merry purge week dear PPD!

“Do not talk about giftedness, inborn talents! One can name great men of all kinds who were very little gifted. They acquired greatness, became 'geniuses’.”

-Friedrich Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human