Never split the bill. Is this a good rule for women?

findingfemininity · 2019-11-02T01:20:55+00:00

For a woman looking for a beta provider husband yes.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-11-02T01:43:13+00:00

I don’t let him pay unless I am willing to sleep with him, and even then I at least offer.

trouble_ · 2019-11-02T02:17:55+00:00

I think the idea with this custom is that there are a lot of guys looking for an easy lay. If he's lined up ten dates this week he probably won't pay for them all if any. He may just being trying to "pump and dump" as they say.

So if a man is looking for something more serious it's a demonstration of his intention.

Obviously there are going to be girls that take advantage of that. Other girls will be looking for something more.

I think it's intent on both sides that is key. There are plenty of other red flags both people should be looking at during their date and prior to that can help determine intent. Everybody is just trying to protect themselves.

kandyapplez · 2019-11-02T17:53:07+00:00

i genuinely can't remember the last time a guy even suggested we split the bill on a date

erman88 · 2019-11-02T02:12:27+00:00

I always pay for a first date, but if we get to like the third date and she's suggesting expensive places with no attempt to pay or split the bill I'd activate ghost mode.

bluepy67 · 2019-11-02T03:52:03+00:00

I think taking turns is fair, and that's what my husband and I did. I think like attracts like and people sort out to their own level. If you want someone generous, be generous as well. If you want someone financially successful, be so yourself. That's what worked for me, at least.

Physiologist21 · 2019-11-02T04:51:35+00:00

I suppose if you are looking to find someone who is a schmuck, than yes this is a great strategy.

SmurfESmurferson · 2019-11-02T22:31:39+00:00

A man paying for dinner is showing that he’s interested enough to invest in you

If he asks you to split, do it gracefully and then ghost his ass. He’s not invested

diffdedbed · 2019-11-02T02:33:57+00:00

The guy should always pay. Not paying is a bad business decision.

Pussy has an intrinsic value. Its been for sale since civilization was a thing for a reason.

Paying for small things, and dinner is a small thing, or drinks, or whatever, is one of those psychologically proven things to make people more likely to spend on you in return.

I forget the exact details but just bringing someone a free soft drink dramatically increased the chance of selling them other items.

This is one of those deep psychological things, tit for tat.

Women should always split unless they are seriously considering a relationship or ONS or something since it frees the mind of this artificial obligation theory.

I have company reps try to sell me shit all the time, they almost always offer to bring lunch or they will just show up with cookies etc. I rarely accept the lunch unless I'm currently in a business relationship as it helps me set the ground rules. Sell me on your product honestly, don't try to fuck with my natural proclivities.

VexingTetrimino · 2019-11-02T01:52:38+00:00

i've always split and took turns. have been working since 12, well before i started dating at 15/16.

have always hated the notion of owing the other person something if they pay for me. i guess hearing my dad hold this over my mom's head had an adverse effect. he even used to force her to vote the way he wanted her to.

attaining devotion or respect from any of my interests was never really an issue. despite my insistance on paying my way i still ended up with a generous husband who brings home a great income. he isn't emasculated by not paying for others. and he is pretty masculine... military, guns, gym rat.

we take care of each other.

hearing him talk to his friends over the years i learned that he's the type that admires women who are smart, tough, has achievements, and makes good money.

you know what they say: that a woman who marries for money earns every penny!

better believe it

alpha_in_progress · 2019-11-02T01:39:16+00:00

I say it is fair to not date financially challenged men but men don't get to build the resources to support a family if they are blowing money on dates with a bunch of different women trying to find the right one. My husband paid for our first date because he asked me out. It was coffee and dessert at a casual diner. After that we went Dutch on most dates until after we were engaged. He had ample resources to support a wife and family but wasn't going to shower that on just any woman. He made the decision to be generous with his resources after he had vetted me and decided to keep me. And, I always thought that was a wise approach. He was not interested in courting some woman who was just looking for free dates and presents. We dated for 18 months before getting engaged and I spent that time supporting myself even in dates. He wanted to be sure I was spending time with him because I enjoyed being with him and not just because he had a great career.

boomcheese44 · 2019-11-02T07:21:08+00:00

It's a good strategy if a woman wants a generous man period. Men, you find it hard to pay for a date with a girl you fancy, don't pay so she can next you. Simple.

goatismycopilot · 2019-11-02T02:03:16+00:00

I do not have a problem splitting the bill as long as it is a place I like. But I honestly prefer to pick the place because if it is a date with somebody I do not know well I am worried they will chose badly. I do not want to end up at some chain place like in that other thread where somebody bragged about their SO taking some broad to McDs. That way if it sucks I at least am at a place I like.

CatchPhraze · 2019-11-02T03:29:55+00:00

I adhere to he should offer to pay and she should offer to split, if one of those isn't happenomg then the other person isn't as invested.

Bntt89 · 2019-11-02T06:48:56+00:00

Yes for free food

retal1ator · 2019-11-02T08:18:13+00:00

In my experience, the more a man wants to pay the bill, the more he has to compensate for something else.

A man with his shit together will want a woman who is able to drag her own weight. We're not in the 50' anymore and we don't want financial parasites as partners.

QueenCousland86 · 2019-11-02T02:26:09+00:00

I have ALWAYS split the bill because men need no added leverage to try to make me feel as if I owe them something. I genuinely don't understand women like that.

ohheyhi99 · 2019-11-02T02:41:02+00:00

If a woman “took a stand” against splitting the bill in times like these, I would probably take that as a sign that her view of gender roles is too traditional for me.

wtknight · 2019-11-02T01:51:09+00:00

If she makes at least as much money as I do I don't understand why she wouldn't want to split the bill. If she didn't then I would be the one nexting her as it's not the foundation that I want for an egalitarian relationship.

wekacuck · 2019-11-02T02:56:15+00:00

I can see maybe looking for guys who want to do it. But... "Taking a stand"? lol

I want so say that would be repulsive to me but that level of bitchy is sort of a turn on.

acenosk · 2019-11-02T02:36:40+00:00

1/3 of women go on dates exclusively for the free meal.

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[deleted] · 2019-11-02T23:53:53+00:00

The keyword in your statement is:

IF

therefore yes, that is a "strategy".

Is it a good strategy? Well, depends on your definition of "good".

NaturalQueer · 2019-11-03T07:20:09+00:00

All depends, I've split and paid for the whole thing. I think it can be situational.

decoy88 · 2019-11-03T08:45:29+00:00

It’s not because it’s expected by society. It is not a display of “generosity” or “providership” it is simply the status quo. Following the social rules

No more than waiting in a line/queue at a store shows that someone is polite and decent.

It also leads to the danger of the man expecting something from paying, (many many guys do). Sometimes that’s sex or at least a second date. Women hate entitlement. And entitled guys love to pay and have a power dynamic in their favour.

SamiraMifsud · 2019-11-04T16:23:40+00:00

I believe in splitting the bill on the first few dates. Unfortunately most men would insist on paying because of 'chivalry'.

Barneysparky · 2019-11-02T01:26:27+00:00

Having a guy pay seems to be a very silly thing for a young woman to do in today's climate.

Considering all the risks it's better make it clear you haven't been bought.

NockerJoe · 2019-11-02T01:46:12+00:00

I'm gonna disagree. While I usually pay sometimes I've had bad periods. The idea that because I'm not rich right that second I'm out, even if you're also not rich, is fucking ridiculous. It didn't mean I liked them any less or wanted any less. It also didn't mean I'm not cashing good sized cheques now.

This just loops back into this weird female fantasy that their man has to be at his peak right now and never leave except to do better.

jonascf · 2019-11-02T07:00:05+00:00

It is a good strategy if the woman is looking for a man that are willing, and able, to take on the burden of being the sole or majority provider for the family.

But the more likely outcome of this strategy is ending up forever single with a lot of pets that she refers to as her fur-babies.

_Tumbleweed- · 2019-11-02T08:21:59+00:00

I only let him pay if I know he can afford it.

If he pays I almost always invite him back to my place for weed and sex.

xXxINCELFAGGOTxXx · 2019-11-02T09:14:30+00:00

It is a perfect strategy to get ghosted by a self-respecting man..

Reisiluu · 2019-11-02T17:36:34+00:00

I think it's a great rule. Most women don't have a problem splitting the bill so a female TRPer or FDS woman who self identifies by making some kinda deal about splitting a check is less wasted time on my part, I can go ahead and find someone who's not a mentally ill materialistic asshole trying to create a power dynamic between us that's slanted in her direction like she somehow deserves favorable patriarchal treatment in an increasingly feminist world.

TLDR: I don't date children who need to feel like their man can take care of them in some bullshit breadwinner kinda way. Everyone in my house who's over 18 has a job.

Title	Never split the bill. Is this a good rule for women?
Author	GlaceMarill
Upvotes	3
Comments	136
Date	November 2, 2019 1:17 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/dqdkyp/never_split_the_bill_is_this_a_good_rule_for_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/never-split-the-bill-is-this-a-good-rule-for-women.293661 https://theredarchive.com/post/293661

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