Q4All: Do you think it's still a good idea for men to be married in today's modern world?

Tyler_Gatsby · 2019-12-19T17:50:42+00:00

Yes, and I've been divorced, and would do it again. I want to do it again, only better.

Nobody gets respect like or has more credibility than a married person. Nobody cares what your gf cares or thinks, but you say, "my wife says/thinks.." and they actually pay attention. Everybody thinks perma bachelors are just grown man children, and irresponsible.

wekacuck · 2019-12-19T16:53:07+00:00

Most guys I know who are married are pretty happy if they want to be.

It's not marriage or lack of marriage that makes anyone happy or miserable. Finding your happiness is always going to be a personal journey.

diffdedbed · 2019-12-19T17:20:11+00:00

Married over 20 years.

Occasionally my wife is out of town for an extended period, sometimes with the kids, sometimes not.

I'm usually quite bored. Its nice having someone there with you, to squeeze their ass, to joke around, etc. If I wasn't married I'd be in an LTR very quickly and probably remarry despite being old enough I don't want anymore kids.

There is a problem with marriage like anything else, in that you hear about the bad because people want to talk about the bad.

Yesterday my wife of 20 years said we need to get back to sex every day and regardless of the kids, we just lock the door, they can deal with the trauma later. She then gave me a BJ since she was on her period. Shes damn good there. So married 20 years, together since before Clinton got elected, and she thinks we should have sex every day still. This story wouldn't get posted to any subs (well maybe some erotic story ones if I added all the details), you don't hear about people like my wife and I.

You hear the DB that can't be fixed. The cheater. The resentment etc. And yea that all sucks. Getting hit by a car sucks too, but I still leave my house and drive. Failure is a risk in life, but you can't ever succeed unless you are willing to risk it.

HeckleandChide · 2019-12-19T21:16:32+00:00

Yes.

Show me a guy who is married, physically fit and lifting, owning his shit at work and home, and there is an extremely high chance he is satisfied / happy / content with life.

Most of guys’ problems in life / marriage are because they are fucking faggoty losers.

Ask me how I know.

poppy_blu · 2019-12-19T23:21:27+00:00

Advice to my own son: marry your social and financial equal. If she’s not bringing equal or more to the table, don’t do it. Get a prenup. If she balks at this, red flag. In fact, tell her you want to elope. If she balks at not getting to have her 6 figure Kardashian wannabe wedding, red flag. Care more about her integrity, your shared values, how she treats you and your friendship (because someday that’s what you’ll have) than you do about how she looks and bullshit notions of her “virtue.”

Basically if she isn’t someone that adds to your life, makes you raise your game, and is your teammate/top general/ride or die, don’t get marry her. Don't get married because it’s on the adult checklist. I don’t care if I never have grandkids.

Aaren_Augustine · 2019-12-19T16:48:45+00:00

Yes. We can't all complain that "women" are creating weak children and then not attempt to create resilient children. Most importantly, actually attempt to be a competent husband; it does wonders and seems to make everyone "act right".

That being said, men should be extremely comfortable with the idea of divorce and actually doing it when its obvious their spouse deserves it. Aka cheating, abuse, etc.

It rarely leads to joy but rather untold rainy misery.

Only for weak, not assertive husbands.

reluctantly_red · 2019-12-19T17:12:04+00:00

If, like many people in our culture, you are obsessed with personal temporary fulfillment ie getting your rocks off and have no higher values, then sure. Marriage is a dumb deal.

If you are interested in forming a family, passing your values and legacy onto the next generation -- then marriage is part of that package whether you like it or not. When you view it in this light, marriage brings a certain fulfillment that single life does not. As you age, and learn the transitory nature of everything, these things matter more and more, and the simple pleasures of the unattached life feel increasingly hollow.

King_Loser27 · 2019-12-19T17:50:15+00:00

The risks are all tangible and easily described, while the "benefits" are all made up and vary from person to person. To each their own, but it sounds like most people have to be convinced through lies to get married. At this point, it's just tradition. A retarded one at that.

the-lone-squid · 2019-12-19T19:13:19+00:00

Nah, I chose three cohabitation route. My relationship lasted just as long as several marriages of friends and coworkers.

When I became single I kept my paid off home and 401k. My friend I work with whos the same age had to pay his ex over 100k for 8 years of marriage. Plus 15k for lawyers fees.

Which isn't a ton of money, but if you're middle class, losing half your savings really hurts

abaxeron · 2019-12-19T17:52:42+00:00

Marriage was never "a good idea" for men. It was never intended for a man's benefit. A lot of women tell themselves fairy tales that merely 200, 100, or even 50 years ago, a man marrying meant that he got himself a house slave. In reality, for men, marriage has always been a sacrifice.

ArborioRice · 2019-12-19T19:13:59+00:00

Marriage #1 terminated because I 1. chose wrong and 2. had near zero chance of having kids despite upfront planning otherwise and 3. I was a little bitch, torpedoing the whole situation with stereotypical weak male behavior. I did Marriage #2 after my son was born and a decent prenup; at that point there isn't much to lose and I had no use for the social stigma & legal tedium that would result from a cohabitating perma-gf/baby mamma.

My mindset is totally different in #2 than #1 also, which makes me not at all scared of what can happen if #2 falls apart. Money gone, boohoo, and she theoretically she can play games with custody of the kid easier non-married than married-->divorce.

Bottom line to your OP: It's only worth it if you're going to have children AND accept in your heart it can all come crashing down and not fear it. That, and you pick as high quality, maternal, old school girl as you can find. Otherwise there is absolutely no reason for a man to get married. I will not be in a 3rd marriage if this all falls apart, I guarantee that.

It rarely leads to joy but rather untold rainy misery.

If you're a weak man who can't manage his own life while looking for fulfillment & happiness from the woman or "the relationship" yes you'll be miserable without a doubt.

philomexa · 2019-12-19T17:11:50+00:00

It's a good idea for men who want to get married and want to do the work to have a successful marriage.

Workaholiconew · 2019-12-19T17:43:39+00:00

For society's/community's benefit?

Yes, probably, as the resources the man spends into the marriage actually goes into the society he lives in, regardless of which. Marriage is the biggest equalizer, after all.

For the woman he marries/their children's benefit?

Definitely, there is much to gain, and almost nothing to lose. It would be actually stupid to avoid it, if you can have a say on the matter, and do not care about the man's situation.

For the man's own benefit?

It is by far not the best path, such man will lose way too many resources and happinesses if he chooses marriage. he MAY have less sadness... but every day this result is diminishing over compelte misery as you put it.

If a man does not care for his community, those they marry to, and/or their children more than his own life, there will be zero rational reason to do it.

Twiteena · 2019-12-19T16:47:10+00:00

Yes it is. What is the alternative? Everyone living out of wedlock and raising babies with maybe baby daddies? Marriage confers so many legal and personal benefits to parents, and despite you and I being childfree we cannot let the world die off. Someone has to raise families.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-12-19T16:55:50+00:00

nothing is a good idea or not for "groups" only individuals

DebatePony · 2019-12-19T16:54:26+00:00

Yes.

And this should be CMV since you are making an ~~affirmative~~ personal statement within your question.

EDIT: derp I meant to say "personal" instead of "affirmative"

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Emervila · 2019-12-19T17:18:36+00:00

Only if you are an alpha male, If you are beta or any other designation then no.

DisastrousMeaning1 · 2019-12-19T17:39:35+00:00

Dora_Bowl · 2019-12-19T18:01:29+00:00

Case by case basis, but in general I would lean toward no.

CHAD_TDK · 2019-12-19T19:39:19+00:00

TL:DR: No.

NaturalQueer · 2019-12-19T20:21:38+00:00

If they want to be then yes and if they don’t want then no.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2019-12-19T21:02:17+00:00

Coupled and in a LTR with someone what makes your life better? Absolutely yes.

Setting yourself up for a divorce rape for no reason? Absolutely not.

Iron-Giant169 · 2019-12-20T00:31:00+00:00

If you wanna get married get married, if you don’t then don’t

praisethesun799 · 2019-12-20T02:32:43+00:00

Of course, marriage is about building and leaving a legacy, joining two families, and gaining status that's isn't the same has "gf-bf" at all

30dirtyfingers · 2019-12-20T08:19:36+00:00

Nope

BothWaysItGoes · 2019-12-20T16:17:45+00:00

Only for legal benefits.

wenoopic · 2019-12-20T17:25:18+00:00

To have a family, is still good.

To marry, never. It is not just because laws are against men, but also that feminazism is becoming more rabid every day, so laws will become much worse.

A man marrying today is entering a contract who is already bad, but the clauses will be changed arbitrarily, by feminazi lawmakers, for the worse.

G77R23D · 2019-12-21T05:32:38+00:00

Yes, to the right woman and to have a family, which is the most important thing in life next to god.

khaste · 2019-12-22T00:30:50+00:00

Nah. Id rather not get married... divorce a year later and have to give half of everything i own to her

Raidernation4days · 2019-12-22T00:49:14+00:00

Short answer: no

Long answer: nope

MuleFool42 · 2019-12-23T17:53:46+00:00

As a MGTOW I can say that the risks greatly outweigh the rewards. It is absolutely not a good choice for men, especially young men, to get married.

There are a host of reasons but, basically, marriage puts men at extreme disadvantages within our society.

And there is nothing that marriage provides that you can't have without it, so it really makes no sense.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-12-19T17:19:17+00:00

Married men live longer and are happier overall. The inverse is true for women.

Title	Q4All: Do you think it's still a good idea for men to be married in today's modern world?
Author	Mystery_Tragic
Upvotes	12
Comments	144
Date	December 19, 2019 4:39 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ecvoad/q4all_do_you_think_its_still_a_good_idea_for_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-do-you-think-its-still-a-good-idea-for-men.302239 https://theredarchive.com/post/302239

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