Don’t you DARE kink shame him 🤡

2340000 · 2020-12-07T15:46:42+00:00

Lol.

"hE feLt hORRIblE."

No. He did not.

Apprehensive_Ad_7917 · 2020-12-07T15:45:10+00:00

There was a post here recently that was like "A woman's biggest fear is late marriage" and this here, is an example of my greatest fear. Imagine tying yourself to someone financially, taking on a greater burden of the chores/household duties, and realizing you need to pay thousands of dollars to free yourself from an absolute psychopath.

chasingastarl1ght · 2020-12-07T15:50:26+00:00

She... That's... Why? Why is domestic violence ok if framed in a sexual context? Cause that's what it was. He was angry at her, so she "allowed" him to hurt her, but in a sexual context. But pushing you against the wall, hitting you, or making you cry during sex as he violently violates you is all form of physical abuse. And I feel so bad because a few years ago, I knew my bf also used agressive sex as a way to hurt me in an "acceptable context" and believe me - it escalated to eventually not bothering with the disguise and just straight up punching me in the face.

I feel sad for her, because she's married to him. This will take a lot of self awareness therapy and courage to eventually escape, but she'll probably be gaslighted by Reddit that this is all acceptable and normal.

overthinkersanon8 · 2020-12-07T16:10:49+00:00

So he fucks up and then she consoles him cause he feels bad? I hate this planet. is there a way off???

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-12-07T16:40:32+00:00

That's called rape and assault. And then he made her comfort him after he raped and assaulted her. Classic abuser move.

GrapeJuiceEnthusiast · 2020-12-07T15:41:58+00:00

My husband is a violent rapist with anger issues but apart from that he's an amazing man!

Edit: after reading the replies to the post I would like to be launched off Planet Earth and never return. "DID YOU ESTABLISH A SAFE WORD???" Wtf? Nobody should need a fucking safe word to have sex jesus fucking christ. She was literally crying and he didn't stop. What is actually wrong with our society that BDSM is seen as something normal and not something done by violent degenerates?

Astral_weaver · 2020-12-07T15:53:51+00:00

You don't get past this you D U M P H I M.

The idea of asking someone to take out their anger about you in the bedroom is not the healthiest thing to begin with, but any proper person wouldn't do that even when asked.

The man is trash, she should get him out.

Thestral-glow6 · 2020-12-07T16:00:02+00:00

He enjoyed her being in pain, got off to it and is a rapist... but she still LoVeS hIm 🤨

unbotheredfeminist · 2020-12-07T16:30:04+00:00

Her husband's a rapist.

AyemHerself · 2020-12-07T16:46:29+00:00

Notice how they're only ever remorseful after they have their fun and as soon as they deal with the consequences?

MulticoloredCatMug · 2020-12-07T17:40:54+00:00

"my husband is an amazing man and we have a really positive relationship overall"

If you have to say it then it isn't true. Every post from a woman being abused by her partner starts with this phrase or something like it. If her husband really were amazing and they had a positive relationship she wouldn't need to say it.

lilneccowafer · 2020-12-07T17:14:20+00:00

This is horrifying. Imagine being violently raped by your husband and consoling HIM afterwards. I am sick. Wtf wtf wtf

LevelTurbulent · 2020-12-07T17:32:44+00:00

He's not an amazing man. He's a piece of shit rapist and abuser and he thoroughly enjoyed hurting his wife. He does not feel horrible. He's fantasizing about the next time he gets to hurt her.

She needs to get out before he kills her. I'm dead serious. My ex husband was doing shit like this with other women while thinking about killing me. I got the fuck out. Some of his other women are all smug about how they "won" him. They're just fighting over being the one he actually murders, I want no part of that. That's the reality of men like this.

BaffledBazaar · 2020-12-07T17:22:50+00:00

tHeY dIdNt hAvE a sAFe wORD aND sO hOW shOULD hE hAVe kNoWn hE wAS huRTING hER WhEN shE wAS SobbING????

The comments on the r sex sub. Good God. Right. Because he, the person who is into BDSM, didn't think it necessary to set up a safe word, it is now partially her fault?? LVM think 'getting consent' gives free rein to abuse their partner and not check on them during sex.

2020-12-07T19:38:53+00:00

“He felt horrible”

Yeah he felt so horrible he was able to climax while you were howling in agony 😒

OrangeyPanda · 2020-12-07T17:20:43+00:00

He belongs in jail and she needs therapy.

2020-12-07T18:06:15+00:00

Your man is a rapist. He raped you. And he will do it again.

HelloKalder · 2020-12-07T16:31:50+00:00

No matter how long the relationship, no matter how much he seemed to be my soulmate, no matter the circumstances, it would be an INSTANT breakup or divorce.

2020-12-07T16:32:26+00:00

so her husband raped her, basically.

AllTheBeanToes · 2020-12-07T20:44:33+00:00

He violently raped her. That's what's happened. I hope he fucking dies

szarvagy · 2020-12-07T16:56:04+00:00

Stopped reading after "grown to enjoy BDSM stuff"

You should never grow to enjoy any sex thing, because you shouldn't be doing any sex thing if you don't already enjoy it. The ONLY reason to ever do a sex thing is BECAUSE you enjoy it.

Kept reading.

Of course this was written by a violence-fetishizing man. No woman who isn't completely brainwashed by BDSM would ever tell her husband to take his anger out "in the bed room". Literally every woman is terrified of that scenario except the most hopelessly pornsick. And no woman would ever recount a sexual assault and describe how she was "ugly crying". Men imagine that women speak exclusively in frivolous, childish language, so whenever you see a "woman" online talking about something serious with inappropriately silly language it's a man.

localgirlcult · 2020-12-07T19:34:44+00:00

These all start with "He's an AMAZING man." Like, I'm sure they all are if we go by these women's lack of standards.

"He was quite angry with me today and I told him to take it out in the bedroom"

She did the fuck what? How is this a normal thing for a woman to say? How? It's not. That is not a normal way to behave. That's what you're groomed into.

And then he raped her and she comforted him afterwards.

TheFreckledGoddess · 2020-12-07T20:39:26+00:00

These men absolutely CANNOT be helped. I was in a relationship with a depraved scumbag like this and when it did turn to straight up physical abuse (because it always does), he blatantly admitted that abusing me when we fought MADE HIM HARD. Therapy did nothing. He 100% would have killed me if I didn't get out.

rebel4acause · 2020-12-07T22:31:53+00:00

"He was quite angry at me today and I told him to take it out in the bedroom"

Why?! Why would you say that...

"Of course i said that i love him and it will be ok"

What...

505-Minute-Drive · 2020-12-07T20:50:17+00:00

I went to the original post that's since been deleted, and people are talking about how similar the story is to one a guy posted within hours of it from the guy's perspective, saying he "didn't hear" his sub's safeword. People are speculating this is the husband in question: https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/comments/k88xxp/i_didnt_hear_my_sub_say_the_safe_word_how_can_i/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Shernandez9870 · 2020-12-07T20:21:47+00:00

That’s literal rape. Poor girl.

2020-12-07T19:31:19+00:00

I used to be in BDSM scene (not any longer, thank Dog!). To be very honest, the situation she described would be abusive irrespective of whether or not she set up a safe-word.

Safe-words are supposed to be used in emergencies. Like -- a knot has slipped and is cutting off my circulation, or I'm-experiencing-a-panic-attack-and-I-want-out. Irrespective of whether there is a safe-word or not, the top is supposed to check in with the sub/bottom regularly during the scene. BDSM itself is fucked up and is quite abusive, but without continuous consistent communication between partners it is a thousand times worse so.

There's no fucking way that continuing in spite of the fact that the submissive is sobbing is a result of a "miscommunication" even within the fucked up parameters of the BDSM world. This guy is right, there is something wrong with him. She should take him at his word and seek help separating from him.

Queen-of-My-Realm · 2020-12-08T02:56:54+00:00

We all KNOW this was violent anal without lube as well, she could have permanent damage from this.

MonarchCrew · 2020-12-07T22:34:02+00:00

Oh, this poor woman. I hope she escapes. An ex once said to me that he wanted to tie me up and whip my chest “sexually” because I made him “frustrated.” How did I frustrate him? By not following his curfew, cutting off my best friend, and having sex whenever he wanted.

He framed it as if it was kink and I knew in that moment: either I say yes and he waits to beat me until we have sex again, or I say no and he has no reason to wait. So I said yes and never let him touch me again.

I hope this woman gets away. This was straight up physical abuse.

Mysterious_Service_1 · 2020-12-07T21:04:56+00:00

Jesus F Christ.

FrequentPoetry · 2020-12-07T18:31:05+00:00

dont have stomach to see posts like this tbh. bdsm can fuck off forever as far as im concerned

sarahsanchez1220 · 2020-12-07T23:09:44+00:00

Step 1. Don’t get over it.

505-Minute-Drive · 2020-12-08T03:35:01+00:00

You know, if this OP feels the urge to put a disclaimer of "but my husband is so amazing and I love him!!!" at the top we already know he's gotten away with it. Depressing.

Lavender_flow · 2020-12-07T23:40:51+00:00

This is why you don't get involved with anyone who is into bdsm. They are sick in the head and he probably fantasized about killing her and other women too. 🤢🤢🤢 being involved with men like this will literally put you in a body bag.

Fluffy-Steak-1516 · 2020-12-07T19:40:41+00:00

Surely this is Borderlining sexual abuse?

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Novemberinthechair · 2020-12-07T20:47:07+00:00

Run, sis, run! He's a gonzo porn addict who doesn't care about your physical or mental wellbeing.

suspended_animation_ · 2020-12-07T21:47:21+00:00

I know it's not a good idea... But I would bite as hard as I humanly could...

Title	Don’t you DARE kink shame him 🤡
Author	overthinkersanon8
Upvotes	302
Comments	91
Date	December 7, 2020 3:39 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/k8iu1a/dont_you_dare_kink_shame_him/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/dont-you-dare-kink-shame-him.328306 https://theredarchive.com/post/328306

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