Should I leave him? I don't look at him the same.

ASeaOfQuotes · 2020-11-18T23:55:18+00:00

That response sounds so much like gaslighting to me. A man who actually valued your opinion wouldn’t offer excuses when he got caught, he would do better. I’m sure there’s even more red flags you haven’t told us, so yes, leave him. There’s no point to stay with a man who makes you question your worth.

chateauduchat · 2020-11-18T23:50:44+00:00

Leave. Quietly gather your things, save your breath, and block him. Sis if he was in love with you he would not be doing this. He’s pornsick.

SansaDeservedBetter · 2020-11-19T00:04:41+00:00

He’s a porn addict AND a liar. It will only get worse from here, trust me. Your self esteem will only get worse and he will continue to lie and gaslight you so you will have trust issues as well. You will only get hurt worse.

I was in the same boat as you. I’m the same body type as you: 5’4”, very petite, A cup and my ex would look at every type of porn that didn’t look like me and the videos were of girls doing this that I would never do. The ones he admitted to watching were interracial, latina, asian, cuckholds, anal, etc.

It just makes you feel like shit about yourself and makes you wonder if he’s thinking about other girls while he’s having sex with you. I could never look at my boyfriend the same when I found out he was jerking off and imagining fucking other girls that looked nothing like me, who did things I would never do.

I know exactly how you feel, reading your post gave me the same sick feeling in my stomach I used to have. He does not care about this hurts you, and he never will. You deserve better than to be gaslight and lied to Queen. You don’t deserve to have doubt in your mind.

It just makes you resent the other person.

nobodybutiliketypeo · 2020-11-18T23:56:08+00:00

I'm heartbroken. I continued to look and most of what he follows are latina women who do porn. I'm white. I'm not Latina. I have my answer now.

Works_For_Treats · 2020-11-19T00:04:28+00:00

he told me he "followed her because she could lay down floor tiles pretty well"

LOL. Into the bin.

nobodybutiliketypeo · 2020-11-19T00:03:10+00:00

[deleted]

LadyGrimes · 2020-11-18T23:56:37+00:00

Absolutely, hes a porn addict.

eluriaeve · 2020-11-18T23:50:44+00:00

I read this as “lay down on floor tiles really well” and thought, huh. He really just told you the truth on this one. And then I read it again. Does she lay tiles in the semi nude though? Not sure how the two would correlate. Or does she just take and post semi nude photos on the side?

balladwilds · 2020-11-19T00:03:38+00:00

he's pornsick and will bring you down with him.. leave him before he hurts you any more

OrangeyPanda · 2020-11-19T00:04:41+00:00

How long have you been dating? From your history im guessing under 3 weeks. You are way too young to give up and stay with a porn sick scrote. Believe me you deserve so much better!

Spittens · 2020-11-19T00:00:00+00:00

Yup. The tile work excuse is just that, an excuse. Don't believe it.

Always trust your gut. You not being able to look at him the same is your gut telling you whats up.

sikulet · 2020-11-19T00:38:03+00:00

you would always wonder if you’re his type and that will eat at your self esteem.

No man is ever worth your inner peace.

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2020-11-19T00:56:54+00:00

That's a giant red flag, I'm sorry. It sounds like you know in your heart that there's other problems but this is the issue you can put your finger on.

I mean you looked at his old IG. That seems like you knew something was off.

Don't let him fool you into thinking your intuition is wrong.

electroloop · 2020-11-19T03:27:28+00:00

Take a trash bag and throw the whole porn sick limp dick man away. It’s disturbing to realize that a majority of men nowadays are absolutely porn sick. Even if you are “their ideal”, they’ll end up fetishizing someone totally different. Scrotes are never satisfied.

2020-11-19T07:23:13+00:00

Yup sounds like a porn addict. Same thing happened with my ex, I tried to turn the other cheek but it grossed me out & I lost respect for him. Save yourself the heartache and dip

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2020-11-19T10:02:45+00:00

I can’t add anything more than what everyone else has already said, but I wanted to validate you some more. You should not have to put up with this. Ok, so you can downplay it as “it’s just one woman.” - so what. It’s one woman too many, and it’s clearly solely to perve on her. If he could, he would follow more, but is clearly aware that you (his partner) can see and also so could his family and friends... so he’s aware of his public image. If no one could see who he was following I’m sure it would be far more!

Plus, following one person like that will automatically show similar women in his suggested pages that he would most likely look at often too.

And in addition to this, holy gaslighting?! What a POS that makes me even angrier. They always downplay or make something up when there’s something to hide and they’ve been caught out. You deserve so much better.

ComprehensiveSound95 · 2020-11-19T03:41:04+00:00

Firstly he didn't validate your concern or even acknowledge it, he just blew you off with the statement he made. Secondly, he is objectifying women by following them just for there body. This is a lvm behaviour because it comes out of porn sickness and inability to control or understand why porn is bad. This is a form of cheating, and is a red flag. In mopinion, you should leave him asap because he displays signs of lvm behaviour and red flags. There are better men out there, leave and don't look back. You deserve better sister, know your worth.

littleminipipette · 2020-11-19T02:45:49+00:00

If he has eyes on other girls there’s no reason you should be with him bec it should be you & only YOU sis. Dude is living in some fantasyland🤢. Toss 👏🏼him👏🏼! Who agrees?!

motokos_ghost · 2020-11-19T09:14:31+00:00

My ex did this. I had a gut feeling some shady shit was happening over at IG so I decided to take a look at who he was following, and good god, it mostly softcore porn actresses or normal girls that were extremely busty. I decided to CoMuNiCaTe with him about it and he started crying, saying his comments on their profile were just ''jokes''. i was such a desperate pickmeisha at the time, it was ME who ended up comforting HIM. 🤡

Did this behavior stop? No, every single time I talked to him about it, he just continued as if I never said anything about it. He didn't give one fuck about my feelings on the matter. Any platform online he just used to oogle at other women tumblr, FB, snapchat..whatever.

I wanted to just push it away in my mind and pretend I could overcome this and it was ''no big deal'' but it was slowly picking at my worth. Leave him, this kind of behavior is permanent, this is who he is.

SuccessfulAppeal333 · 2020-11-19T02:08:54+00:00

Lying guttersnipe detected.

DISPOSE

DrildoBagurren · 2020-11-19T09:32:26+00:00

It doesn't feel any better when they look at porn (cuz it is porn, just because it's not all hardcore) of women who do look like you. You end up feeling just as awful - like you're just a type to them. And plus it's still cheating no matter what men and libfems want to say. If following, lusting after and indulging in fantasies about other women isn't cheating, then emotional affairs aren't cheating either - it also shows that this dude doesn't respect women - including you - there's no use trying with a man like that- the foundations to the relationship will be already layed in pile of shit. Best just to quietly walk away.

Blackrose_ · 2020-11-19T03:21:16+00:00

I think you answered your own question with that last sentence. "I'm kinda turned off by him."

Explore a bit more here, your gut feeling will expose something buried and something that you can't put your finger on it. I am curious about the home handywoman lie he put up. Why a tiler? I think, it's more the way he makes up stories that's probably off-putting. I bet there is a lot of future faking going on.

feistykalorina · 2020-11-19T01:02:57+00:00

I am so sorry, I think you know exactly what you need to do, you are not his type, but you are the type of millions of men around the world, save yourself the unnecessary hearth break sms find yourself a man who loves everything about you. Not only he lied to you he gaslighted you and that is even worse. I’m sorry

I-am-nice-i-promise · 2020-11-19T07:51:48+00:00

Yes you should definitely leave. Wether they look like you or not he’s following women who post pictures like that (which probably means he watches stuff like that). That is not something that a loving boyfriend would do because it is disrespectful to you and your relationship. And now he’s trying to gaslight you in order to make you feel crazy (also not something a loving boyfriend would do) which in the long run makes you trust your intuition less. A man who truly loves you will not ogle at those pictures. It’s weird and men should stop trying to normalize it. There are good men out there 💕

IAteTheDragon · 2020-11-19T08:47:52+00:00

I would leave😞 so disappointing

janatztxcxxx · 2020-11-19T06:28:29+00:00

I’m opposite body type from you, 5,3 skinny thick and pale but my ex would look at tall skinny girls. If I were you I would just ghost him and break up with him

PenneyPence · 2020-11-19T13:31:13+00:00

he forgot his password to his old Instagram (I find a lot of men forget their passwords)

There is always a “forgot password” option to reset a password. He kept the old account so he could look at the other women without you knowing. Or maybe he wanted you to look so he could take pleasure making you feel inferior. Either way, you are being gaslit and lied to and this does not get any better. I saw you wrote in another comment that you believe you are stuck because of financial circumstances, but please look into other options to get out of there if you are living with him.

entpgirl415 · 2020-11-19T02:13:38+00:00

Is it just me or have I heard of this Instagram model chick before from FDS? I could have sworn another girl complained also that the guy had this exact excuse!

lival42 · 2020-11-19T02:17:46+00:00

If you’re turned off then yes, leave him.

Noemie_Mathilde · 2020-11-19T02:43:25+00:00

If it feels right, leave him. Trust your gut.

SoybeanApocalypse · 2020-11-19T03:20:08+00:00

I'm so sorry. I know how hurtful this feels. You are not crazy or insecure. There is something better beyond this BS, and I know you'll find it.

Vmwvi · 2020-11-19T06:14:47+00:00

LEAVE. NOW. He's porn-sick.

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2020-11-19T15:31:40+00:00

He is low value. You are turned off because you innately understand this (likely due to even more reasons than this). Say goodbye.

light_workerx3 · 2020-11-19T16:38:57+00:00

Girl , he follows those women because they're attractive in his eyes and because he MOST LIKELY IS TURNED ON BY THEM . It's insulting to your intelligence that he said the "Tile floor" bullshit .. please if you feel it in your gutt that something is off then maybe you should break it off . Especially if you are turned off by him .

Suitcase33 · 2020-11-19T06:02:47+00:00

sighhh just leave. if u had to ask...i mean just leave no need to waste braincells on this situation.

catsuramen · 2020-11-19T06:35:26+00:00

Your lady instincts are always right.

donttakemelightly · 2020-11-19T05:02:40+00:00

Ew what a broken and damaged man. Take your things and leave, block delete bye 👋

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MRgoudaonionspickles · 2020-11-19T13:04:57+00:00

The tile thing only makes sense if he has a big tile fetish, when in that case, definitely leave his ass cause that's red flag AF too

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Title	Should I leave him? I don't look at him the same.
Author	nobodybutiliketypeo
Upvotes	219
Comments	60
Date	November 18, 2020 11:47 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jwrgbf/should_i_leave_him_i_dont_look_at_him_the_same/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/should-i-leave-him-i-dont-look-at-him-the-same.334487 https://theredarchive.com/post/334487

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