Summary:
Your desire for long-term loyalty and attraction from a woman is a fantasy. They are not built for it; it is not in their biology. Hear it from a woman's perspective.
Body:
As I occasionally do when dealing with unresolved thoughts, I took a deep dive into the web, searching for information and perspective, and comparing others' notes to my own. In this particular case, I was curious about serial monogamy, and wanted to learn more about why this is such a common pattern for some women. We know a lot about CC riders in the night life, but how about those girls who have had 5 bf's at age 26, but have never been single since age 16?
Deep in the comment section of a blog (Black Dragon Blog, I believe the host posts on this forum) I came across a comment from a woman's perspective honestly trying to answer some questions related to serial monogamy. The questions aren't nearly as relevant as her response, posted below:
https://archive.is/fsi9P
Ctrl+f "Kryptokate" and read her response. That's what this post is all about.
Here are some choice quotes for context, leading into the overall message:
As for me, I’m in my late 30s and have spent my life since age 16 going from one boyfriend to the next with basically zero time in between and every man I’ve ever been with has fallen madly in love with me, so those are my credentials.
I would love to just date for six months or a year. But what you’re forgetting is that MEN WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS. I have never, in my life, met a single guy who I can have sex with who will not insist on monogamy and locking me down. I have literally gone out of my way to seek out scumbags and it still doesn’t matter. It’s in their nature to try to lock down women and if they sense that you’re less interested in monogamy than they are they will become obsessed with trying to block other men from your vagina.
Having a relationship with an expiration date? I'm sure more RP-versed men could handle such a thing. I've tried out a few myself. That being said, my level of commitment for them never passes that of a plate. Nor should it, I believe, if they already have pre-decided that they're going to need new dick.
I’ve already been married and yes I let my ex-husband convince me (during the NRE stage) that I could actually be long-term monogamous by pure force of will. By the time we were actually saying “I do” I was only half-way convinced. And honestly, the guilt, the commitment, the social pressure, and the shame did cause me to hold out for 5 years, which is waaaayyyyyy longer than the 6 month maximum which is my “natural” timeframe.
FYI, "NRE" refers to the honeymoon stage. The guy is still new and shiny. Also shows that the only way to really extend monogamy passed a point with women is through social pressure and shame, something religion and patriarchal societies did really well.
At this point, I do NOT want to be married ever again. My “plan,” if I had my way, would be to live for the rest of my life with my platonic best friends (either male or female) and have them be my source of companionship and family, while fucking new guys every few months. Basically the Golden Girls model would be the ultimate old-lady life for me and seems way more fun than living with some old guy you can’t stand and have to listen to fart in bed every morning.
Perfect segmentation seems to be a female's ideal end-game. Sometimes guys on RP like to say stuff like "what a woman really wants is alpha commitment." I don't believe this to be true. I think even that is a blue pill fantasy, bargaining for a last chance at an honest and loyal relationship with a woman, a way to win "the war of the sexes" if you will. There is no way to win it. This is a true Red Pill.
Let me explain it because it is very, very simple: when you meet a new guy you’re attracted to, you get wet just thinking about him. After a while it takes making out to get you wet. A little while longer and nothing will get you wet except for direct stimulation of your vagina while you think about something else that turns you on. And then a little while after that and you will start to feel actively repulsed when he touches you or tries to kiss you and it will take a very strong force of will to not slap his hands away or snap at him out of visceral revulsion.
A woman's version of the Coolidge effect, if you will. This actually sounds worse, Coolidge means the guy won't fuck as often or as enthusiastically; but bitches will just shut down and feel disgusted with you.
This will happen even though you think he is the most wonderful person you know and your best friend and you care about him more than anything. And you would do anything to jumpstart your vagina or be attracted like you used to. But it is a completely biological process and works on its own and has nothing to do with your thoughts or opinions or conscious desires. At the beginning of your relationship you will be dripping for him and aroused. Later it will take work to get you there. And still later, nothing in the world will get you there and that’s why there are a billion brands of lube sold (no one needs that in the beginning of a relationship).
Also, after you have been with the same guy for a while and a new guy touches you, your physical reaction will be so volcanic that there is literally nothing to stop it. The longer you’ve been monogamous, the more extreme your reaction to a new man will be.
After I was married for 5 years (far and away the longest period of monogamy in my life), the first time I hooked up with a new guy I was literally almost unconscious with arousal and desire.
That is why women will blow up and burn down their entire life and it will just be because their vagina is on fire for a new guy and there is nothing they can do to stop it.
They are slaves to their biology. Loyalty, trust, respect, nothing can override the feels.
The only things that extend the length of the attraction dying track are a highly volatile relationship with a somewhat scary needy alpha (though you will also hate his guts). Sadly, fear does make vaginas wet. I’m convinced this is an evolved protective mechanism to ensure that women are lubricated and supplicant in the presence of a potentially dangerous/violent person, since that would drastically increase their survival rates.
A confirmation of the efficacy of dread game. Dread Game is the closest thing we have in our arsenal to "jump start" a woman's vagina. An interesting question then comes up - how long can dread game stave off the inevitable thirst for New Dick (TM)?
I’m not sure you really realize how heartbreaking it is to find that your body is disgusted by the person you love most in the world and once loved to kiss and fuck for hours. And there is literally nothing you can do about it. Or how bad it sucks that you will stay most attracted, and for the longest, to a guy that you otherwise can’t stand (a needy alpha).
Women have problems, sure, but they are not yours to solve. Imagine you owned a dog (every RP post needs a women/dog metaphor), it was a great companion, but after say 3 years it just started biting you and anyone you brought over. You'd have to kick the dog to the curb. Sure, you might be broken up about the fact that it used to be such a good dog, but if it's fucking your shit up with no sign of change, it's got to go. You might be sort of sad for a while, but if you're a dog person you'd get a new dog, maybe look for some warning signs in advance.
(Now here's where the metaphor breaks down: that same dog isn't going to find a new owner within 24 hours and magically start behaving again for the time being.)
And sorry for any of you guys looking for some hope, but the hotter your girlfriend is, the more I can give you a 100% guarantee of her cheating on you. The only way to not be cheated on is to have a woman so ugly no one wants her, so dumb she will listen to you for a while (but she will also listen to another guy eventually so this is only a delaying tactic, not a solution), or to physically restrain/threaten her. Other methods work sometimes, such as fear of eternal damnation or social ostracism, but they’re not foolproof.
A discrepancy in SMV will help delay the inevitable, as does social pressure, which used to actually work.
So now you're just left with the only solution you know will help: becoming the best man you possibly can. And start doing it for yourself, because lord knows it'll be wasted on these bitches after enough time.
Lessons Learned:
- Women are slaves to their biology; they are not meant to be with one man for life
- High SMV and tight dread game will help delay the inevitable
- Don't get fucking married
- You can't win the game, best you can do it play better than others
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[–]RationalistFaith1 0 points0 points0 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]1oldredder 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]RationalistFaith1 1 points1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]1oldredder 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RationalistFaith11 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]BBB2000 -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]1oldredder 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]triperfecta -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Trengingigan -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Plan_of_Action0 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]dicklord_airplane -2 points-1 points0 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]1oldredder 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]1oldredder 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ornu -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link