Have you ever found men lying and pretending to be someone else just to impress you?

Asbelowsoaboveme · 2020-06-06T18:16:38+00:00

Yes. I’ve encountered men lying about their age, their job, their height, their relationship status, their living situation, their education level. Basically things women care about and filter for. Women also lie about the things men filter for (age, weight, n count, kids). We’re all just a bunch of liars trying to get the best deal

cohost3 · 2020-06-06T19:07:24+00:00

A date claimed he knew how to speak five languages, including Japanese. I remember excitedly telling him I had taken two years of Japanese and had recently returned from a two month field course/home stay in Uji, Japan. I really wanted someone to practice with. I have never seen a man look so scared in my life.

Fuzzy-Scene · 2020-06-06T18:10:14+00:00

Yes. He was married and pretending to be single, for starters.

EDIT: I dumped him of course.

mycateatstoenails · 2020-06-06T22:26:35+00:00

I’m in my early 20’s and it’s crazy how many men lie about their living situation. I don’t care that you live with your parents (I would too if I could), but don’t keep making excuses to not go to “your place”, which you don’t actually have.

bythebananatrees · 2020-06-06T19:08:52+00:00

Tons of dudes pretended to not have girlfriends.

xXSandwhichXx · 2020-06-06T21:29:25+00:00

Yes. He went for a bunch of white lie stories. If I brought up hiking in Arizona, he would talk about skydiving there, something significant like that. I would bring it up in conversation later and he would seemingly forget about it. Honestly not a very attractive quality.

lillmama · 2020-06-06T23:26:09+00:00

Yes. I met a man who told me he was a lawyer and later I found out he was a history teacher because. I knew he was lying and found the right questions to ask to get it out of him. I wouldn’t have cared and I really appreciate teachers. He told me he lied because women are shallow and would only accept him if he had status or a career that is synonymous with money. So another way of putting it is he admitted he wasn’t confident and had a fragile ego and actually believes all women are the same and that he has nothing good to offer so he had to pretend to be someone else. Which is sad because most people respect teachers a lot and true love doesn’t care about how much money you have, as long as you are a productive human in society and make a living and aren’t a lazy POS you are definitely going to be in the dating pool. But lying about who you are is disturbing. I can understand someone not revealing their profession right away out of fear because they are a sex worker or confidentiality because they’re secret service for example, but other than that, it’s fair game if the person you lied to wants to leave you! Because the reason you’re lying is to manipulate, not for protection. Big difference!

adriannaaa1 · 2020-06-06T19:09:51+00:00

Yes. He pretended to be accepting of me as a person and then a few weeks in started pestering me constantly to change this or change that.

I ended it.

rosephase · 2020-06-06T17:41:03+00:00

Yes.

Badly.

msredsreturn · 2020-06-06T21:49:01+00:00

He pretended to be single while trying to juggle me, someone else, and this bunny boiler he's been off and on with for years.

Even after he got caught and backed into a corner he still tried to lie!

darla10 · 2020-06-06T22:10:28+00:00

Yes I only recently found out my husband is not in fact an Eagle Scout. He missed the final essay.

buxomshadow · 2020-06-07T05:07:09+00:00

After a few weeks of chatting with a guy on a dating site, we arranged to meet for a drink. He looked nothing like his profile pic. The pic of him was old and from his slimmer days. The man I met was very fat and wheezy and I was looking for a man who liked to keep fit as I did.

I was annoyed.

tututut56 · 2020-06-06T19:52:37+00:00

Maybe not that far, but I have experienced men pretending to like the things I like/like what I’m interested in only to later find out that they didn’t even know what it was or actually like that thing.

pongaminbloom · 2020-06-06T19:49:22+00:00

Yes. I had a guy who wasn't Brittish try to flirt with me with an English accent. Several men I've met on line lied about their height and turned out shorter than me. More than one man has lied about their marital status.

EdgeCityRed · 2020-06-06T19:59:15+00:00

"My mom's a movie producer."

"I'm a movie producer."

GridReXX · 2020-06-06T18:48:26+00:00

Married men. But they never get passed the first date because I tend to ask questions.

angry_ogunsoto · 2020-06-06T20:01:40+00:00

Men will do everything to impress a woman. They are capable of pretending to be anyone, just to make a good impression and get results.

GennyX · 2020-06-07T03:49:10+00:00

Yes. Lying about being rich, having a yacht, stuff like that. The sad thing was, I liked them before they said these things, for who they were. I don’t need any of that shit. It never got them anywhere because they lied.

redthrow1125 · 2020-06-07T05:58:21+00:00

It's not a lie if you believe it.
-Kevin Costner

mandoa_sky · 2020-06-07T07:02:00+00:00

on OLD it's very common to see a 50-60 something trying to pass himself off as a 30-something.

it's like he doesn't think people have eyes

azngirl7689 · 2020-06-06T18:33:26+00:00

Yes, he pretended to like the things that I did to make me happy and it just wasn’t him. It ended badly when I discovered he’d lied to me. I don’t like being lied to even as a kindness/to make me happy.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2020-06-06T20:22:16+00:00

This is just what a lot of men do - to what degree depends; imo just ride with it and let him get it out of his system, then ask the real questions when he's done acting a fool, just get rid of him if you're still not feeling it

thisisathrowawayby · 2020-06-06T18:45:57+00:00

Yeah, on a more mild scale. He just pretended to like everything I liked.

That YouTube channel I like? It's his favorite! He watches it almost everyday! He's been subscribed since day 1!...but he doesn't know the name of the guy who makes the videos, doesn't know the topic of a single video, and doesn't know the focus of the channel.

Every activity I did in elementary—high school? He did every. single. one. too!

My favorite restaurant? That's his favorite restaurant! Even though he said he hated the type of food served there not twenty minutes earlier.

You get the idea. Sometimes I could barely say half the word before he was trying to finish it for me (often guessing incorrectly) and saying he did/liked/wanted to do that too. Could some of the things he told me have been true? Sure. But it just gets to a point that it's hard to believe anything someone says once they've lied so many times.

It didn't go well. It wasn't necessarily because of that, those were just some small, minor red flags (pink flags??) that piled on top of much bigger red flags, the combination of which made me really uncomfortable. I am still nice to him, friendly-(ish) with him, but a lot less open. I guess I'm more cordial than friendly, now? I get that the guy is a bit socially awkward, so I try not to be too harsh on him, but he followed me around (within the location of the weekly social thing we both went to, he wasn't like, legit stalking me or something), got really touchy even after I stated my discomfort, stayed and glared wordlessly whenever I spoke to someone else (and not for like a few seconds, once he stayed for a full hour just staring, after I had talked to him about it and told him that if he wanted to join a conversation I'm in, to just come over and invite himself in. I even told him if he just came over and said 'hi' I would do the rest of the work for him), and a myriad of other things. So, yeah, the over-eagerness to have something in common, I guess, didn't really help his cause, but it isn't one of the primary reasons he made me uncomfortable. He was also like, 8 years older than me and I was a couple months out of high school, so that gave me a weird feeling.

But, if you're looking for advice or something, I'd suggest not pretending to be different than you are. I mean, if you're a little more cordial or you monitor your language more carefully or are more conscious of following the social norms around a girl you are interested in, that's pretty normal and not something to worry about. If it's like one thing that you maybe exaggerate your interest in or love for, that's not really a big deal. If you don't know about something she's interested in, be honest; she'll probably be happy to share it with you. I just think it's a bad idea to be super fake if you are interested in someone. It's unlikely to bode well for the future, because they'll most likely find out you weren't being sincere.

TLDR: Yep. He pretended to like everything I liked, be involved in everything I had been involved in. It made me a little off, and that, in combination with many more serious factors, made me feel uncomfortable around him.

Sophiatab · 2020-06-08T21:49:55+00:00

Yes, the most obvious sign of this is when their lips start moving.

SaBahRub · 2020-06-06T19:15:28+00:00

Sure. They pretended to be single

wtknight · 2020-06-06T21:23:07+00:00

[removed]

QuebecMadonna · 2020-06-06T22:48:44+00:00

Yep! Some people either have no shame or they think women are stupid.

He pretended to be from my homecountry (Idk why). He didn’t look like one and couldn’t speak the national language. Lied about his age, profession, basically everything.

wtknight · 2020-06-06T20:40:55+00:00

[removed]

the_purring_jew · 2020-06-06T20:11:58+00:00

a man pretended to be the brother of a famous goth band guy once to hook up with me on the Dover to ostend ferry. i was really unnecessary

thetruthishere_ · 2020-06-06T23:54:55+00:00

Yes. It didnt go anywhere, they were caught lying.

I came across it more on a dating site for a short time. Age, height, dated pictures, etc.

anotherdamnloser · 2020-06-07T03:49:00+00:00

All the time They’d pretend to like the same things I did. It was so easy to see though their lies.

Sandwichinparadise · 2020-06-07T04:06:22+00:00

Yep.

YveisGrey · 2020-06-07T05:30:46+00:00

No well not anyone I dated. But I have met men who like to omit truths like, when I said I own my own business I meant I’m involved in an MLM, or not mentioning the fact that they have a whole kid until date 5 etc...

Heals_One88 · 2020-06-07T06:22:29+00:00

Yes. And its such a long story i dont want to bore anyone..but he ended up leaving before it was time to show his hand.. and I found out that everything he told me about his life besides what cars he drove..they werent new or anything..was a lie..and fabricated on his parents life .... as I did the digging after things ended ....stupid on my part.should have did it before.. but it kind of made me feel bad for him. Appreciated everything he taught me and that was that....

HeliosHyperionIX · 2020-06-07T09:51:05+00:00

You have never seen “There is Something About Mary”?

soloesliber · 2020-06-07T09:54:25+00:00

Yes. It didn't end well. I have no tolerance for lying.

Sewud · 2020-06-07T21:26:58+00:00

Yes. A man hid his cigarette and drug use from me, no doubt because he wanted access to a higher caliber of women than the women who smoke and do drugs. He lied about these things as soon as he met me, without knowing if I'd be bothered by it, so clearly he knew that the kind of girls he wants don't date smokers and drug users. It worked really well for him. By the time I learned of his habits, I didn't want to be a heartless person who hurts him by breaking up with him over bad habits.

Another man hid his age, education, status, looks. This was online. He pretended to like Pokemon Go because I'm a millennial who watched Pokemon when I was 9 and I had a nostalgic thing for it. It turns out he was a Gen Y man who was in college when Pokemon came out so he'd never heard of the thing and only pretended to take an interest in it to talk to me about it. It ended with me trying to get rid of him and him harassing me for months and visiting my city 8 months after I rejected him to beg me to meet him after I blocked him and stopped talking to him.

slavicgypsygirl · 2020-06-07T21:41:17+00:00

Men I date don't need to lie about their social status but sometimes do over exaggerate it

PlanetSquare · 2020-06-10T07:19:56+00:00

I've met guys who would lie about their height, like saying they are 5'10 but when we meet in person they are actually my height (I'm 5'6). Seemed like a stupid thing to lie about especially since a person would be able to tell if you ever meet eachother in person?

Was friends with a guy who had lied about having a sports car and he doesn't even have his drivers license, which made a lot of sense when I eventually found out because there were lots of plot holes for lack of a better word. This guy also weirdly lied about living in a 3 bedroom apartment when really he lives in a 2 bedroom which I still don't understand why he would lie about that, and he said he lived with a friend but he actually lives with his mom.

I've hung out with a guy who was sketchy about their age and name, not really sure why though, it creeped me out so I didn't stick around long enough to find out why they would do that.

When I was a kid some guys would pretend to be interested in the same type of music as me.

Also as a kid some boys would lie about their grades? Trying to seem smarter I guess.

I've had a guy lie about his popularity at school. He tried to make it sound like he was basically the most liked guy at school when in reality he really didn't have any friends and people didn't like him, which was why he tried making friends online instead. I don't really understand why he thought it would matter to me because I was home schooled at the time and also had no friends, which was why I was talking to random people on the internet.

I've had a guy lie and say he was gay only to come out later and admit that he only said that to get closer to me so that I wouldn't think he was only talking to me to get with me, and he also thought that we would have more in common that way because I told him that I'm a lesbian.

Oh also a guy had lied saying that he had never been in a relationship before but he had a girlfriend when he met me, and my theory was that he was just trying to pretend to be single in case he had a chance with me.

Silly_Field · 2020-06-06T22:28:31+00:00

Lots of men pretend to be feminists and it is hilariously obvious that they don’t know what feminism is.

No one has lied to me about their profession so far. I think one guy lied about his salary - I didn’t even ask and he just told me out of the blue, then a week or two later it was a different, much lower figure.

TishthaDish · 2020-06-07T00:22:09+00:00

Yep. I dumped him.

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Title	Have you ever found men lying and pretending to be someone else just to impress you?
Author	retal1ator
Upvotes	104
Comments	103
Date	June 6, 2020 5:32 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/gxv9ep/have_you_ever_found_men_lying_and_pretending_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/have-you-ever-found-men-lying-and-pretending-to-be.671783 https://theredarchive.com/post/671783