The only appropriate response to this kind of manipulative ass message is BLOCKED

fabianoid · 2020-04-01T17:22:43+00:00

Me: yeh u kinda are aren't u?

Him: U WOT HOW FKIN DARE U

FuckinGandalfManWoah · 2020-04-01T17:00:07+00:00

Best advice from my stepdad. If someone tells you they're a bad person, believe them.

Had the worst six months of my life living with a guy who had literally told me when we met that he was a cunt, and a bad person. And I just didn't believe him..

Stepdad bought me out of my rent for the rest of the year so I could get away. I've remembered his advice ever since, and always respond to these sorts of admissions candidly.
"Oh, well that's concerning. If that's the case then I'm happy to end our relationship at this stage. I only need good people in my life." Byeeeeeeeeee

mephitmpH · 2020-04-01T16:52:31+00:00

When they straight up tell you what kind of person they are, do LISTEN. I could have saved myself a lot of time and effort had I taken him at his word. Also, if his best friends call him anything derogatory in front of you, LISTEN to them as well. 9/10 they know him waaaay better than you ever will.

Freddit98 · 2020-04-01T16:19:28+00:00

Me: “You’re right, thanks for the heads up. Bye”

tauruspiscescancer · 2020-04-01T17:29:30+00:00

[deleted]

persephones_torch · 2020-04-01T16:20:46+00:00

Omg they expect you to be like: nooo you're the best don't be so hard on yourself.

Fell for this dialogue a bunch of times.

LadyGrimes · 2020-04-01T18:22:06+00:00

My ex would say shit like this all the time. "I don't know why you love me, I'm such a bad person" It's manipulative as hell and they're just trying to see how much they mean to you. This is usually before or after they screw up big time.

I found out my ex was saying shit like this because he had cheated on me and was feeling sorry for himself.

fabianoid · 2020-04-01T18:39:08+00:00

My (soon to be ex) husband crossed a line sexually with me (many times, but this was one in particular). He coerced me into having sex when I didnt want to. The day after he messages me like hey um I'm sorry about last night. I got carried away and I got the feeling that you didn't really want to do anything and that I might have made you? I said yeah thanks for acknowledging that, I wanted to talk to you about it actually. Cue the WTF ARE YOU CALLING ME A RAPIST?!?!!!!? And admitted to saying that so I would reassure him that I did, infact, want to have sex with him.

pinkyberries · 2020-04-01T17:40:29+00:00

If he says "everyone leave me" trust him, he is giving you a warning sign so take it and leave. Don't text him "I'll stay!"

2020-04-01T17:31:30+00:00

“Youre such a good girl you dont deserve a pos like me 😢” cringe

jeanneeebeanneee · 2020-04-01T17:32:30+00:00

"You said it not me"

GraveyardH2020 · 2020-04-01T17:33:56+00:00

Yea fell for this for like two years. This group has helped me see the light.

Aurora_Borealiz · 2020-04-01T18:30:38+00:00

“Leave me, like everyone else has 🥺🥺🥺.”

Yikes, well that many people can’t be wrong so BYE.

“No one ever gives me a chance, just go like everyone else.”

Boy you HAD a chance and you sealed it with that bs. BYE.

naamshiko · 2020-04-01T19:19:05+00:00

Righhhhhtttt.

My ex-boyfriend is like "you're too good for me, I was making you unhappy and I see that you are glowing now that we broke up".

Also him: *calls me in the middle of the night* I miss you and I love you.

Sir please.

TimWhortons · 2020-04-01T17:45:16+00:00

The perfect response to this is "cool glad you know" before you block him, makes sure he knows he's being trash

geoffersonstarship · 2020-04-01T18:05:08+00:00

ugh my friend just dumped all his emotions on me yesterday with this kind of language and not once asked how I was doing or anything during this pandemic. “my gf broke up with me wahhhh” uh wonder why

NotScarJo · 2020-04-01T18:56:59+00:00

The LVM I fell for before discovering FDS used a variant of this - that he had made a lot of women angry through his life. This was on our first meeting. My reply was "aww, I could never be mad at you". If only I could go back and slap myself.

ms_monquis · 2020-04-01T20:07:57+00:00

God, I remember this one so clearly. I remember the first boyfriend who pulled this on me. We were in our 20s, and I don't even remember why he was throwing a fit. "I GUESS I'M JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH AND YOU'D BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME!"

I remember it so clearly because it was almost like a little *DING!* went off in my head, and I realized... look, whether he was right or not, I'm not going to spend my time convincing anyone to stay in a relationship. And if he thinks I'm "better than him" and he uses that as a cudgel rather than praising high holy dog that I'm with him? See ya the fuck later.

So that night I went to repo the car that I bought for him, and his older brother threatened to beat me up in the street. So. We'll call that a learning experience.

Edit to add: When someone tells you who he is, BELIEVE HIM.

2020-04-01T16:15:37+00:00

Next time I’ll take his word for it lol

teampinata · 2020-04-01T18:13:13+00:00

Yep. Thank them for admitting they’re a piece of shit and leave. They say this because then their conscience is cleared when they fuck you up because “I wArNeD u tHiS wOuLd hApPeN”. Every man that admitted they weren’t good enough for me or couldn’t give me what I needed was right. Listen to what these men tell you. They know themselves better than you do.

idkwhattoputhere000 · 2020-04-01T16:23:15+00:00

Seriously. Like why even bother with such a person? You’re a bad person? Ok, thanks for letting me now. Goodbye.

kitsuko · 2020-04-01T18:17:13+00:00

I remember I hadn't even met this guy and he kept saying this. Like at least 3-4 times so I just said "no, you're right". And told him bye. He was trying to walk it back but I just gave him the line a couple people have already said: if someone tells you about themselves believe them.

caffeinatedangel · 2020-04-01T19:53:26+00:00

It’s funny when they warn you straight up, then get offended and angry you took their warning and dropped them.

2020-04-01T17:46:58+00:00

been there :(

tauruspiscescancer · 2020-04-01T17:28:09+00:00

block facebook block whatsapp block instagram block block block

WildUnit · 2020-04-01T22:23:46+00:00

My 16 year old daughter had her first boyfriend late last year. It was very short-lived but he seemed like a nice kid - nerdy and introverted like my daughter. After she decided she wasn’t ready to have a boyfriend, she gently broke it off (face to face). Now he’s started sending her messages like this and following her around school like a kicked puppy. She’s a gentle soul and was becoming highly anxious about her responsibility for his behaviour until I intervened and said “Fuck that noise”.

If I do nothing else as a mother, it will be to teach her not to buy into this kind of manipulative shit. Given the kind of guys she’s into, I imagine this won’t be her last experience with this kind of behaviour.

My main points for her:

You do not owe anyone your feelings.
You are allowed to change your mind about someone.
You do not owe anyone your time and attention.
This kind of message has one purpose and one purpose only - to manipulate your feelings and to stimulate you to give your time and attention.
Even if he genuinely feels some of the things he writes, it is not your job to fix it (even if you were still together).
It is not your job to sacrifice your own wellbeing to improve his.
You need to bring this kind of behaviour into the sunlight. Call it out when you see it. Either in front of your peers, or in one single message, naming the problem. Better yet, leave on read. Do not take the bait.

Fuck men/boys like this.

lifeyjane · 2020-04-01T20:48:31+00:00

Ahhh! This gives me an embarrassment stomachache. I totally fell for this garbage back in the day!

quasarbar · 2020-04-02T01:06:17+00:00

When a man tells you anything negative about himself, BELIEVE HIM.

VaporwaveVampire · 2020-04-02T05:45:10+00:00

...if you end up staying with him, then one day he will start acting up, and if you call him out, he’ll say “well I warned you”

cogitoergosum7 · 2020-04-01T22:11:19+00:00

[deleted]

darlin_squishy · 2020-04-01T22:48:11+00:00

Queens be like: "I'm glad you can admit you are toxic. Cya later!"

endlessgalaxies · 2020-04-01T22:29:12+00:00

Lol my best friend sent this screen shot to me yesterday saying it reminded her of my one ex. She wasn’t wrong. I cringe so hard thinking about myself a year ago....

mirrrje · 2020-04-01T18:39:58+00:00

Omg I have a message in my phone from two days ago that sounds almost exactly like this wtf haha . And I did fall for it, like “no bb your a good man, we just BOTH need to work on ourselves” this is almost three hours after I kicked him out of the house. What is wrong w me 🤦‍♀️ I thought, for once, he was actually just being introspective

Blondejobs · 2020-04-02T05:10:38+00:00

They tell on themselves just like this you just have to listen.

Hushhushandrock · 2020-04-01T20:25:09+00:00

Oof if this isn't as summary of the new weeknd album

fuhayth · 2020-04-02T07:38:57+00:00

this is EXACTLY what my ex said-

bart_simpsons_ghost · 2020-04-01T23:26:36+00:00

I’ve had someone say this though and I agreed with him, and he didn’t flare up. He kind of took full ownership of what he’d done and how much poor judgement he’d exercised. We took a break still but stayed friends.

callofcutie · 2020-04-02T07:32:17+00:00

Do they do it to guilt you to be sympathetic? It just confuses me.

catsareprettycoo1 · 2020-04-09T13:15:36+00:00

this is how my ex reacted when i confronted him about cheating lmao

NeptunianBabe · 2020-05-08T21:35:46+00:00

One of my exes used to tell me that if I left him he would never date again. I left him the next week.

Title	The only appropriate response to this kind of manipulative ass message is BLOCKED
Author	tauruspiscescancer
Upvotes	1345
Comments	76
Date	April 1, 2020 4:07 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ft2me3/the_only_appropriate_response_to_this_kind_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/the-only-appropriate-response-to-this-kind-of.679199 https://theredarchive.com/post/679199

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